Chapter 33: Looking for an Escape

When so many things start to converge: romantic relationships, job, family, and friends, it can feel like water is closing in over your head or that the air is slowly being sucked out of a closed room. Everyone has felt this claustrophobia of life. I felt like I was navigating extremely rocky waters, but I was doing it on my own and in the best way I knew how.

But I started slipping. Control is an illusion. Just at the moments when we think we are most in control, we aren't. It felt like I went crazy for a little while, and maybe I did. I thought that every action I made was because I wanted it, not for anyone else or to please anyone or prove anything to anyone. But it was like there was a different being in me, someone who secretly took over the control panel when I wasn't looking. I still controlled my arms and legs, my speech, and my thoughts, but something was making the decisions for me. It was as if Ariel were a speck of rock peeking out from the ocean's surface, while Rose wa