“Bradley Miller!” I shrieked, gaining everyone's attention. And by everyone that includes his so-called friends and his posse which consisted of a good amount of brainless, narcissistic, and A-class b*ches.
“You and I were over.” I declared with all the dignity I could muster.
Suddenly a maddening laugh left his mouth as he looked at me mockingly.
“I know you, Elle. Soon you'll come begging me to take you back.” He boasted, a smug look on his face.
As I shoved the door open I could still hear their hushed whispers that follow.
“That’s Bradley’s girlfriend? Yuck! He could do better than that piece of rag.” Snickers
“Can’t blame him for looking for another. The girl was a complete definition of trash.” Sneers
“She’s a total psycho, attacking Brad and Stephanie like that.” I could feel the amusement on his friends' mocking stares as I rushed down the stairs in haste, desperation propelling me forward into the shadows of the University’s deserted streets. But their taunting laughs still followed me as I forced myself to run faster.
I blink back the tears as I fled from the house where I caught my boyfriend swapping spit on some blonde bimbo. Yet for some reason, I’m the one who felt embarrassed.
I felt pathetic and miserable as I ran far from their judging eyes and taunting smiles.
I should have known better when Brad suddenly become distant and cold towards me after an argument because I refused to ask my parents for a monthly allowance in addition to the four-year scholarship program that was sponsored to him by my parents.
Shameless as*h*le
Silly me, believing that I finally found the person who would stay with me through thick and thin.
I was wrong.
The unforgiving crisp night air was a welcome reminder that winter would be in short few weeks. I just have to endure it before I could escape everyone’s prying eyes on the winter break.
I couldn’t even begin to understand how their mind works. Brad’s justification for what he did meant nothing. Because no matter how convincing he looked the way he said that the kiss was nothing or that girl Stephanie was just a friend, I can’t erase the image of them kissing on my head and the hurt I felt knowing that I matter less to him than his friends as he chose to be with them on the day of our anniversary.
The saddest part of it was nobody knows or cares about how much I’m hurting inside.
As I run aimlessly I was also looking for refuge—a place where I won’t be alone with my thoughts eating me alive.
I looked around on the last block of houses inside the University until I heard a faint sound of bass coming from an old house not so far.
I squared my shoulders as approach the imposing entrance of the old Victorian beauty.
‘This is it.’ I thought to myself.
I blew out a breath as I knocked on the door. For a minute I stood there, pouring all my anger in every pounding at the old wood.
No one answered the door for a long while, feeling defeated I started to turn around but before I could take a step away from the imposing house the large door swung opened, revealing a drunk guy, who could barely stand.
“Babe,” He slurred, his body heavily leaning on the door.
“I'm not your babe,” I mumbled as I ducked under his arm that was holding the door open and let myself in.
The house was huge, decked with expensive-looking paintings and ornaments. I looked around in wonder as l navigate on the bustling house, ducking and leaning away from the swaying bodies into what seems the kitchen. Surprisingly the kitchen only had a few people lounging, minding their own business. They didn’t even bat an eye when I opened the cooler and took out four bottles of beer.
After closing the cooler I walked back into the main foyer, looking for the stairs. From the looks of it, the second floor was off-limits but then the occupants of the house were probably somewhere around entertaining their friends.
As I climbed up the stairs, a rush of thrill slithered through my veins.
‘I’m breaking the rules!’ I internally shrieked.
The second floor was bathed with darkness, giving an impression that it was empty. Then, I started checking the doors. The first door was locked so was the second, third and fourth. I might be breaking the rules but I didn’t gain the ability how to pick a lock so I continue looking for an open room. On the last door, I hesitated, what if I get caught? What would I do?
I shook my head, mentally erasing the horrid thoughts in my mind.
Then I turned the doorknob. I almost scream in happiness and shock when it finally opened. I hastily open it wider as I enter the room.
The room was clean but the bed was unmade giving an impression that someone was occupying the bed before I came.
‘He was probably downstairs with his friends.’ I thought to myself.
I roamed my eyes around the room just to be sure. It's empty and the bonus part was there’s a balcony inside. I immediately locked the door, a necessary precaution.
The moment I slide the balcony’s glass door, the crisp but refreshing cold night air rushed inside. I closed my eyes and just breath. Suddenly I felt much better.
High with intent to get drunk I automatically went to business, I slid my back on the wall before I slumped down on the floor, looking at the vast blackness ahead.
And so I drank my stolen beers. I drank until the bottles were emptier than I felt. Until I can no longer remember the anger and hurt I felt inside.
After the beer was gone, I stand on my cold, numb feet, slightly swaying. But before my fingers could touch and lean on the metal railings. Someone had grabbed me from behind, hissing something on my ear.
I fought with all my might, trashing and screaming, but the stranger never let go.
Strangely I felt safe in his arms enough to finally let myself succumbed to his comforting embrace. Before I drifted to sleep, a thought came over me.
While wallowing in anger and hurt I realized that I truly found refuge in this house because there’s not a moment that I was alone. Someone was with me, on this balcony, on this very night that I felt I'm at my lowest.
•••I was on a bed.A bed that's not mine. I thought, trying to remember the events that lead me into an unfamiliar room.
“Glad you’re finally awake. Here,” A gruff voice sounded beside me.
I immediately opened my eyes, ready to attack. But instead of gun or knife, as my overactive imagination assumed, he handed me a sealed bottle of water.
“Drink this.” I frown, reluctantly accepting the offered water.
Then, I remember everything. Brad kissing someone at his friend’s party. Brad disregarded the fact that it’s our anniversary and that I booked a reservation at his favorite restaurant. Me, running away after I slapped him hard. Breaking up with him in front of his friends, completely humiliating myself. And then the party I gatecrashed where I stole the four bottles of beer that knocked me down into oblivion.
The guy probably interpreted my silence and frown into something because he then said, “Don’t worry that’s from my fridge.” Yes, because any innocent-looking drinks downstairs are most probably spiked.
Yay.
“Hi, I'm Elizabeth and you are?” There's no point in asking the generic, cliché questions frequently used on chick flick since I perfectly remember everything.
But instead of answering, he stands on his feet and took out his keys.
“Where do you live? Come on, I'll drive you.” I shook my head, no.
“I’ll just get call a cab.” His gaze swept over my messy hair, tear steak face, rumpled pajamas, traveling down to my dirty feet.
Based on my look, he probably thought that I don't have money for a cab. Which was so true. But I would never tell him that.
In response, I also study his face. He’s good-looking in a boy next door standard—boyish lopsided smile, thick black hair. I leaned closer to him to get a clear view of the color of his eyes certain that he could smell the beer on my breath.
I leaned away, ashamed of myself.
“Can I tell you a secret?” The guy was shocked at my sudden question. I can’t blame him, as the silence stretched between us the thoughts running in my head were slowly zapping the life out of me.
He tilted his head to the side, staring at me.
“Okay, let’s hear it.”
I blew out a breath, looking away from him. This is not me but for the first time, I felt like confiding in someone—someone unfamiliar, someone who just listens without judging me.
And besides, he already saw me at my worst, saw me broke down—screaming, shouting, and cursing Brad into h*ll.
What more I could hide? Yes! Nothing.
“I caught my boyfriend kissing a girl.” I started, fidgeting.
He nodded his head understandingly, urging me to continue.
“Okay and?” He prompted when I stayed mum.
“And he just laughed at my face.” A sneer painted my face as I recounted the scene. I saw the guy lowered his gaze like he was deep in his thoughts. He probably found my heartbreak boring but for the first time in years, I felt I've been freed from an invisible cage.
“He said that the kiss doesn’t mean anything. But it does mean everything!”
“He would never be the first guy that would hurt you. The world is full of those kinds of people.” He shrugged his shoulders, finally looking away from my nonetheless delirious self.
“Shhh! I know that. The thing is, it’s our first anniversary and he ruined it.” I mumbled, hiding my face in my hands.
“I’ll make it up to you. How about we meet tomorrow? What do you say?”
“Like a break-up celebratory meal,” I asked in which he smiled while nodding his head, lighting up his face even in the dim lighting in his room.
“Do you like Mexican foods?” He asked.
“Love them,” I said growing excited.
“What about coffee?”
“No freaking way! You’ve just ticked all the boxes. It’s a date then.” I blurted out without a thought, surprising myself.
“Date?”
“Yes, date.”
“But you’ve just broken up with your boyfriend.”
“I was devastated. Don’t get me wrong but I don’t think I love him. I think I’m just in love with the idea of being in love.” I felt hurt. Yes. I felt humiliated, of course. But I don’t feel like it’s the end of the world.
“But you barely know me.”
“That’s the first reason why we should date. The second is you love Mexican and coffee, my two favorites. Of course, that’s a plus.”
“Aren’t you scared that I would hurt you?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because,” I said smiling.
“I should go, my best friend is probably in our apartment right now,” I said getting up from his bed.
“I'll drive you.”
“I'll be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” I chirped, grabbing his phone from his hand to enter my number before kissing him on the cheek.
He was frozen on the spot, so when I opened the door I didn’t bother asking him to escort me out; instead, I bounded down with a spring on my steps.
The party has quieted down saved for a few men huddled together maniacally laughing at something.
Then one of them spotted me making my way to the door.
“Hey! Do you need a ride? Looks like you have a rough night.” I pasted a stiff smile on my face before politely declining.
“No thanks. The cab should be outside by now.” I lied.
The truth was I forgot to call a cab before going down. Maybe I should go back upstairs, call a cab and wait for it to arrive before going back down again.
‘Yes, that’s it.’ I thought as I started towards the stairs. But before I could move further a sweet-smelling cloth was shoved on my nose.
I tried breaking free from their strong grip but it’s a losing battle. Little by little I was robbed of my consciousness. Then I felt a slight pinched on my arm and a shout from a familiar voice.
Gustavo
I drifted for a while but when I regain some of my consciousness, I heard another familiar voice beside me while its warm hand was gently caressing my face.
“You’ll get the justice you deserve Elizabeth and swear I’ll protect you with everything I have.” The whisper tickled in my ear as I drifted between sleep and consciousness.
A single thought in my head.
‘Damn, I forgot to ask his name.’
“Since you’re moving in with me soon, I’ll let you decide which one you like on me the most.” Came a familiar nasally voice in front of me.I hastily ducked my head beside the rack of lingerie I was browsing. I should have worn a disguise before coming here. It was my first time in a lingerie shop and the thought of stumbling into someone I know is mortifying in my book especially with my wedding coming in two weeks.I’ll be Mrs. Bradley Miller in two weeks. My cheeks grew hot thinking of the new things I wanted to try on our wedding night.I shouldn’t have let Arya bully me into coming here. Or perhaps I should have insisted that we came together. Now I’m stuck, debating if I should come out from hiding, hold my head high or retreat slowly and silently out of the shop.“Surprise me, babe.” A sudden chill runs through me. The masculine voice sounded like Brad. No, it can’t be.Br
I had never been dumped before given Brad was my first boyfriend. And ever since the day we had been together, I had this vision in my head that we’re going to grow old together.Cheesy, I know.Guess when you trust someone too much, you tend to think of those things to the point that you unconsciously let that person rule your world.And I admit, through the years we've been together I became too dependent on him.Though our relationship was not rainbows and unicorns it never crossed my mind that this day would come. And that hurt more than he knows.My pinky finger suddenly twitched as I stared at them so perfect together. It might be my insecurities talking but as I look at Brad, protectively standing beside Stella, he would no doubt make a perfect husband and a father.And if I just have half the guts other women who caught their man cheating have, the mal
“She’s pregnant with his baby.”Everything becomes too much after Arya found me face-to-face with Stella and Brad inside the store, and as every sane person would do, I bolted out, with Arya hit on my heels. At that moment I just wanted to escape and pretend that everything was just a big messed up nightmare.“My Brad’s baby.” A new wave of loud sobs wrenched my feeble body, shaking it to the point that I can no longer feel it.“Why! Why, Arya!” I wipe the tears after blowing the snot, blocking my airways, “All I want is to be happy with him. Am I not enough? He should have told me so I could give him more,” I wailed, clutching my chest in an attempt to ease the impervious ache I felt.“Let that be a lesson, Love. It’s never good to put the key to our happiness into someone’s pocket. We should—I mean, people change all the time, Elle.”“I know but it hasn’t crossed my mind that he’s goi
It had been two days, and I’m not done crying over him. Yes, I cried. And for the past two days, all I did aside from crying was stupidly scan and stare at our photos when we’re still together and reminisce the past that most likely out of my reach.A pathetic way of passing the time, I guess.I know I should’ve tried to crawl out from my room, eat, maybe took a shower, and made peace with the reality that we’re done. But the stupid, still hoping part of me still thinks that he’ll come back to me and have our happily ever after in the end.Again, a pathetic way of passing the time.Eight years. I can’t believe I wasted eight years of my life pining for someone I thought could give me love and stability. For eight years I stupidly gave my trust and loyalty to him, investing my time in our relationship.All my life all I wanted was someone to see me. The
“Fine! You stay and I’ll go.” I was about to maneuver around her but was stopped by her strong gripped on my wrist, pulling me to face her.“Then what?!” She exploded, throwing her hands up in the air before pointing to my bed.“I cannot let you crawl back onto that stinking bed and cry for my as*hole brother, Elle,” Breathing in deeply, she then continued, “Can’t you see?!” She growled, stomping indignantly, “You deserve better, Elle. A whole lot better than my brother.”“I’m tired, Anna.” I pleaded in a soft voice, tired and pleading.Though I had been in mine and Brad's apartment for two days without leaving, well it's actually mine since I'm the one paying it for the last three years after we got our degrees. I felt drained physically and mentally.“When was the last time you eat?” I shrugged my shoulders looking away from her.“Okay, you need to eat Elle. Now, go
There are moments in the past that all I wanted to do was run, to escape, and never look back. But I held on. I had Brad with me. And besides the young and naïve part of me always thought that he’s more than enough reason for me to stay.I won’t deny that at an early stage of our relationship I become too dependent on him that I thought I couldn't live without him in my life. Those days were over now. Brad left me without any warning or explanation. But the thing was, it’s more than that, and though it’s not as complicated as people around me thought it would be, the destruction of his leaving wrecked me apart.My confidence level hit the bottom level while my insecurity level reached its peak.What he did to me is more painful than being abandoned and left behind. It’s the thought that despite everything we’ve been through together I am still not worth an explanation.Now, while looking at the man I was supposed t
Twelve hours later after a lot of wandering around and revisiting the places Brad and I used to visit, you know for old times sake, I ended up in front of the club Arya and my bridesmaids set my bachelorette party at. Luckily the two bouncers at the entrance already knew me so they let me pass through without any hitch.“You're hot,” I slurred, looking at the guy sitting next to me. He's not even drinking, he's just staring ahead.“And you're drunk, darling.” I tilt my head to the side, and the whole club spin out of control that I almost fell from my seat. Lucky, the hot guy caught my shoulder as I lean dangerously close to the floor.Good job tequila.I gripped his arm tightly as I blink my eyes. “Me? Drunk? Nonononono.”He suddenly swept me off from the stool on the bar, carrying me to the comfortable-looking couch on the second floor where the music doesn't hit so hard on my eardrums.We're on the VIP
When I awoke, the sun was already peaking on the horizon. I lazily stretched out on the softness of the bed, face pointed toward the luxury hanging on the ceiling with a look of utter contentment on my face.I smiled to myself as the warm feeling and contentment settled within me. I’m lucky I’m not one of those people who got an ugly hungover after drinking too much. I know it’s way better than I deserve after that binge drinking. Though I think it was life’s gift for me.And, I regret nothing.Now that I think about it, it’s a long way coming. After I went into a coma for alcohol poisoning and lost my memory on the same night. I never drink anymore least look at the whole aisle of them in a grocery store. And Brad leaving me put it perfectly into an occasion to get wasted.Hello, freedom. A voice in my head purred.I smiled despite the fact it’s Brad and Stella’s wedding in a week,
There are thousands of reasons to be sad, angry, and cry but there are millions of reasons to be happy, thankful, and trust again.It's what life taught me.We could always find a reason to run away. To never look back. Heartbreak does that to a person. Sometimes we focused too much on the hurt and pain we failed to see the positive things that surround us.Heartbreak made me see clearly what's in front of me. Yes, it made me doubt myself and everyone around me but it taught me to take a leap of faith.The moment I stepped a foot inside Killiad’s building memories rushed in like a swirl of colors and emotion.“Welcome home Mrs. Knight.” The head of security greeted me as I walked by his post in the entrance.“Good afternoon, Luis and thank you.”“Do you want me to escort you to the penthouse?” I shook my head, a grateful smile on my face.“I'll be fine but thank you for asking,&rd
Turns out, Emily is not in Gavin or her brother's place, Ethan. Though as I thought over it I didn't remember Emily introducing Ethan to me or anyone of us in the office as her brother. I just assume given their brother-sister devotion to each other.And as I asked Ethan about Emily's whereabouts he seems unbothered about it. In fact he looks like he'd been expecting it.“Em? Where are you?” I asked, my voice tinged with panic and relief as I snatched my phone on the table the moment it rang, flashing Emily's name on the screen.She chuckled at the other side of the call. That's a good sign, right? “Relax, I'm fine, Elle.”“Is Grayson with you?” I inquired directly. After my call with Killiad, I've been stressing where was Emily. It's not like her to just take off like that. So, instead of finalizing my plans for the day, I opted on looking
Days passed in a blur of tears of forgiveness and happiness. My life is almost perfect. Almost.I hadn't officially moved out on Killiad's place. I didn't want to. I'm just waiting for him or his secretary to call me to get my things out of his place. But I know Killiad won't do anything of the sort even if his life depended on it. He's a good man, a really good man and I am very fortunate to know a man like him.I felt drain, I'm not sleeping well for the past month and it was slowly taking a toll on me. But today's Monday and Mondays were killer for all the people working from eight to five.I should be back in the office where I'm needed or I risk being late on my eight-thirty meeting on the divorce attorney Brad had recommended. But Emily hadn't gone out for grocery shopping for the cupboard supplies in the office plus I'm starving.For the last week, I had lived off of the food that my husband was sending me in the office. It never crossed my mind to
Hours later, I stood outside the gigantic gate of my parents' house, working up the courage to talk to them. It's been a week and they only have Sunday as a day-off that is, if they won't be called back to the hospital at the end of the day.My childhood home was still the same even the creaked and groaned of the gate as it opens, the sound of the soles on my shoes as it hits the brick walkway. I felt nostalgic as I looked around the place. This was the first place that held the memories of my childhood. Both happiness and sadness lay in every corner of the place that had held my young heart.A small sad smile curved up on my face. I made a lot of mistakes and I know I couldn't undo them but as I think my life through I realized it taught me the best lessons in life.I couldn't lose my parents again. They had sacrificed everything they had and I pushed them away. Not anymore.Trust is a brittle thing that should be enforced with love to make it stronger.
“Woah! What is it this time?” Emily asked as a way of greeting as she sauntered inside my office without knocking. It was clear in her face that she's excited on my behalf.“Breakfast from my favorite restaurant,” I mumbled looking anywhere but my Secretary. I don't know why I felt embarrassed about eating it. It's food and on top of that, it is my favorite.Killiad has been sending me flowers, breakfast, lunch, dinner with notes raging from ‘I miss you, I've been thinking about you and ‘Please come home, we could fix this.No, I love you or I care for you. Nothing. I want to hope but I couldn't afford to. It'll hurt too much and I don't know if I could survive the pain.I wonder what he wanted to fix. Our marriage or his life. He probably wanted to rid of me.Emily scoffed, trying to stifle her laugh.“Please don't stop your obvious mirth on my account,” I rolled my eyes, picking my pen.
“You look like sh*t,” Gavin commented just as I step on the rooftop of the bar where we usually hang out when the four of us– Gavin, Gustavo, Grayson, and I are in one city.“Gavin!” Gustavo hissed under his breath on his little corner.I tipped the bottle of beer in my hand in Gavin's direction, nodding my head. “I feel like one, bro.”He rolled his eyes, sitting on the small table. He had never taken his eyes off me as I stagger into the railing. “Can't you just call her?” I wish it was that simple.I shook my head like the thousand times I did when my finger hovers above her name on my phone screen. It feels like Mom all over again. Though I have everything money could buy I don't have the only person that I ever wanted.Space.She needed space. I ought to give her the space she wanted, after all, I had lied and hidden secrets from her. I broke the trust that she had given me. Ho
If I could just snap my fingers and wake up from this nightmare.I have never been so terrified for myself or others. Perhaps it's my fault. I didn't want the attachment. Attachment means physical and emotional responsibility. It means you have to fully giving yourself to someone became you trusted them to take care of yours and they trusted you to do the same. It'll mean my childhood all over again.I've never been so scared for a stranger jumping out of nowhere to save me.That would mean I would be responsible for his life if he's still alive after that single shot went off.I lay unmoving trying to feel every part of my body. At my peripheral vision, I saw Killiad pounding the glass wall mercilessly. He looked tortured, defeated, and scared out of his wits.If he could just look in my direction.My breath caught when then the muscled stranger groaned, a grimace marring his handsome face. He's tall, big, dark, and handsome. He's like the
Funny how can someone mean so much to me after a few hours spent together years ago. I frequently question myself why but like a parasite I clung to her, to our memories spent together, her strength and vulnerability, my darkness to her light.Indeed, the best stories usually begin unexpectedly.Or maybe not.All those years, she’d been my compass, my own guiding path. Our memories together pushed me to where I am today. Elle saved me that day. I was on the edge of losing myself, I was about to give up but then she came barging into my life and I was left with a purpose after that fateful night. That night I feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time.Belongingness.She made me feel human. Complete with happiness, sadness, and grief. She made me peek through the gap of true happiness and for the first time before Elle came into my life I feel peace at heart. She washed away my anger and tame the chaos that took residence in my head.
Blistering heat hit me from the afternoon sun as I walk out of my office for a late lunch at my favorite Mexican place.A smile curves up in my face as I looked around. The world is extra vibrant like an old musical movie playing on a vast lawn with the cold night breeze blowing in the background.It was a scene–a fantasy that had played out many times than I could count when I was falling asleep. It was a safe haven for me in my dreams. A smile tugged up at the corner of my lips. I circle my arms around my stomach as the urge to skip on the sidewalk while humming a nameless tune came over me.As I rounded the corner, nostalgia hit me right in the gut as the scene around me played in a manner like the last movie I had watched.I had watched it with Killiad. I remember wiping a stray tear in my eyes as we watched the movie in silence while I was cocooned in Killiad's warmth.A smile started to bloom on my face the moment I saw Killiad's famili