V. Wish

“Fine! You stay and I’ll go.” I was about to maneuver around her but was stopped by her strong gripped on my wrist, pulling me to face her.

“Then what?!” She exploded, throwing her hands up in the air before pointing to my bed.

“I cannot let you crawl back onto that stinking bed and cry for my as*hole brother, Elle,” Breathing in deeply, she then continued, “Can’t you see?!” She growled, stomping indignantly, “You deserve better, Elle. A whole lot better than my brother.”

“I’m tired, Anna.” I pleaded in a soft voice, tired and pleading.

Though I had been in mine and Brad's apartment for two days without leaving, well it's actually mine since I'm the one paying it for the last three years after we got our degrees. I felt drained physically and mentally.

“When was the last time you eat?” I shrugged my shoulders looking away from her.

“Okay, you need to eat Elle. Now, go get a shower while I cook something up for you.” She ordered, pointing to my bathroom. 

“I'll eat and shower, okay? Just—just leave me alone.” I murmured, dismissively.

Clear exasperation painted on her face at my stubbornness.

“Wait, are you mad at me too?” Her face suddenly fell when realization rushed through her.

I slumped on my bed defeated. I just want to crawl back on my bed and shut the world around me, maybe pretend that I was sleeping the whole and just having a nightmare. But instead, I stared at my friend in the eye and give in to my inner turmoil. 

“It’s one thing that I caught your brother cheating on me, but being betrayed with someone I thought was my friend was like a slap hitting squarely on my face. And that’s a whole lot different f*cked up story, Anna.” I was about to turn my back from her again, and fall back to bed when she gripped my shoulder and stared at me furiously.

“You thought I am here to gloat and tell you that I’m happy for them? That I approved of what my brother did to you? What kind of person do you think I am, Elle?”

“I brought you that invite because I thought you need to know the truth. Because I know that keeping it from you would only hurt you more.”

“I–I don’t know! And to be honest, I don’t know anymore what to think and who to trust.” I whispered-yelled as I balled my fist on my side. I want to hit something, to scream.

But above all, want to breathe.

“I didn’t betray you, Elle. Not once,” That shut me up. And by just looking at her I know she’s telling the truth.

“I won’t betray you, Elle. We’re friends, we’re sisters with or without Brad in your life.” I blew out a breath in resignation.

“And I'm not here to justify my brother's mistake, I'm here because we're family. And family lifts each other up not bring them down.”

In a small voice, I said. “Can you forgive me”

“Nonsense, there's nothing to be forgiven. We're okay.”

“Thank you, Anna and I’m sorry for assuming the worst in you. I just thought that since you’re his older sister—” I can’t even finish the sentence, too ashamed to even say it.

“That I knew?” Anna supplied for me. I nodded my head.

“That I’ll just accept every bad decision that he made because we’re siblings?” Again, I nodded my head shamefully.

“Come here,” she said pulling me for a hug.

“It's not your fault, okay? You’ve been lied to and betrayed by my brother, so it’s normal to feel like you can’t trust anyone including me.”

“I’m sorry.” I apologized as I returned the hug.

“Trust me, I’m just as shock as you,” She admitted suddenly turning somber.

“Come. Let’s sit outside and then you can tell me everything.” We walked side by side as we crossed the small distance of the balcony.

“How much do you know?” I asked as I position myself on one of my plastic chairs outside. I slightly shivered at the cold kiss of the evening as the wind whipped through us.

“The moment he handed the keys and invite on me with someone else’s name on it, saying it’s over for the both of you before dashing off, I know I have to talk to you fast,” 

Her arms circled around me while patting me on my back before taking a sit on the chair beside me. 

“Don’t worry when I see him I’ll give him good pounding for you.” That earned a chuckled from me.

 

There’s a moment of silence before she broke it.

“What happened?” Then like a damn was suddenly opened, I poured out everything on my ex-fiancé’s sister. As I cry she cry with me too. She let me pour it all out. She let me scream my heart out, the hurt and anger I bottled up for days since I caught him with another woman. When I’m finally done I felt drain but more lighter than the past few days. 

I wipe the last remnants of my tears with my hand as I peered at her in my peripheral vision.

“I don’t know,” I started suddenly shy. “One moment I thought we were deeply in love, well I thought he did love me, and the next he’s just a memory,” I whispered, letting it carried through the wind.

“Did you talk to him after— you know?” I shook my head, “I’m too hurt to speak to him and besides part of me still thinks that everything was just a nightmare.”

“Oh, Elle. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,”

“You'll be okay. A man does not complete's us, it's us, we complete ourselves. Somehow we need to accept our past and made peace on it.”

“I can’t face him. Not yet anyway. My emotions are all over the place to think clearly.” 

“I understand and I'm not forcing you or anything to just forget and forgive what he did. What I am telling you is, you need to forgive yourself for all of your regrets.”

“Thank you for coming here tonight.”

“Again, I’m sorry, Elle.” I shook my head, no, before smiling sadly at her, “I’m sorry too,”

“But I guess this is for the best.” I covered the space between us before engulfing her in a brief embrace.

“And I wish you all the happiness in this world, Elle.” She said looking up at the starry sky.

‘Me too.’ I murmured as a falling star passed through the vast expanse of the evening sky.

•••