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1. My Own Mistake
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2024-10-29 19:42:56"I'm so sorry Collin, please don't leave me," I begged him, though I know it was not my fault that I didn't get pregnant. It had been three years now, we had been trying to have a baby since the first year we were married.
I loved him once, with all my heart. He was my high school sweetheart. We dated in high school, then we separated because we went to a different college. Then we reunited at our best friend's wedding. We dated for almost a year on and off and decided to get married.
"You're useless wife, you can't even get pregnant. I should have left you by now. Just leave me alone! I'm so upset with you right now." He slammed the door and left me to get drunk in the next room.
I was an only child, and both of my parents had passed away a couple of years back in a plane crash. Since then, I had been independent and on my own, until I met Collin. After our marriage, Collin moved in with me since I got the bigger house.
He told me to quit my job and prepared myself to be a full-time mom. I was happy, I was thinking of building a family with him.
Since I was settled in finance from my parents' inheritance, I agreed with him and quit my job.
I rushed to him trying to mend our marriage. "Collin please, don't be upset with me. We will try again, and again just please don't leave me."
From the first year that we failed to have a baby, I suggested to him that we both went to a doctor to get checked out and see what our options were. But he went mad at that idea, saying that it must've been me. From then on, it went downhill.
He would go home late, drank after work, and called me names. Told me that I was not a real wife, because I couldn't even get pregnant. From then, my love for him slowly diminished.
He never hit me, but his abuse was mental. He would threaten to leave me, every time I got my period by the end of the month. After my period ended he would fuck me every day, but never pleased me anymore. He would come inside me and leave me be, he would tell me to be a good wife and get pregnant. But every month I didn't. Until the third year this year.
It started one evening when I saw him having sex with another woman in our bed. I confronted him and yelled at him. But he just shrugged, saying that I won't let him leave, so he would do as he pleased.
I cried that night, my heart shattered to pieces. How could it turn to this? We were very much in love. Where did I go wrong?
This went on for months, making me depressed. Until one day I decided to end my life, and consumed all the pills in my bottle, with liquor.
I was happy and relaxed after that. Feeling myself drowning away, in my sorrows. But I woke up the next day in a hospital. Collin was by my side, he was putting his game face on. Looking sad, and caring towards me. But he was smirking at me, when the doctor and nurses, would look away from us.
I just didn't care anymore. I just wanted to die. I was such a failure, I couldn't even kill myself. I just closed my eyes, didn't even want to see his face.
He kissed the top of my head when he saw the doctor, was coming into the room.
"Good afternoon Mr. Buford. I'm Dr. Raynes, we've talked about admitting your wife to a Psychiatric Hospital. Mrs. Buford here is in a good condition already for her transfer. I don't think, there would be any problem. If you could follow me, we can continue with the paperwork. And I can have the nurses, to help with her things." The doctor explained to Collin.
I slumped lower to the bed, thinking that at least I didn't have to be near him, and see him parade all his women around the house, and belittle me. Maybe I could be happy there, maybe I could even get better there? No, Who was I kidding, I was too tired for this life.
Collin was supposed to be my one and only, my true love, my happy ending. If I couldn't even manage one person, that I love deeply before. How could I even get better? I was ready for sleep time. I was already drowsy, from this flow of information today.
Whatever happened to me in the loony bin, I guess it would happen anyway. Not like I could do anything about it. Not like I wanted to do anything about it. I just didn't have the drive, like I used to.
Having failure after failure made me what I was, despite all the people were telling me about this morning.
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Chasing His Muse 3. Beautiful Sadness
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Chasing His Muse 4. Down and Up Again
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Chasing His Muse 5. Dead Husband
Fruits! Fucking fruits!It's like art class all over again. Wait...this is an art class. It was an art class with tattooed handsome goodness standing in front.Well, this I can live with. I started to paint. Sketching my outlines slow then fast, strong strokes keeping my sketch composition proportional.I could feel him behind me, saying nothing. His warmth hovers on top of me. I closed my eyes for a moment then sighed. He lowered himself, put his tattooed palm on my shoulder and his lips lingered beside my ear."Beautiful, nice strong strokes, powerful arch, keep it up, Nicolette." He left me abruptly, his deep voice made me sighed.Deep breath woman! You can do this! Just paint the fucking fruits!You can fuck the tattooed handsome goodness later on! Wait what??
Chasing His Muse 6. After Collin
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Chasing His Muse 7. Coming Back Home
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Chasing His Muse 8. The Memories
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Chasing His Muse 9. Morning Muse
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Chasing His Muse 33. Epilogue
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Chasing His Muse 32. The Brunch
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Chasing His Muse 31. Coming Home
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Chasing His Muse 30. Lunch With The Parents
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Chasing His Muse 29. Believe
I woke up the next morning alone. But I could hear music blasting from his gym room. I hadn't really been in there since there was only his gym equipment.I decided to freshen up, brushed my teeth, changed my pad and made coffee, and ate some yogurt with banana slices and since I didn't get to do ballet yesterday, I decided to do my routine in the spare room.I was wearing my black tights and leotard for more support. Then I slipped on my ballet shoes. I was pulling my hair up in a bun when I felt Brenton was behind me and started kissing my neck."Baby your sweating!" I was giggling but I didn't move away from him."I'm gonna take a shower and join you later to sketch you. But first, I need my morning kiss, Nikki." He lifted me up to the kitchen counter and stood between my legs. And started trailing his hands trough out my Spandex covered body. I shivered under his touch.He crushed his
Chasing His Muse 28. Being Stalked
The next morning I was feeling refresh, already showered, and made coffee."Morning Brenton," I whispered in his ear and kissed down to his naked back. He opened his eyes and turned to face me. "Morning beautiful." He sat up and took his coffee, from my hand.He was drinking it slowly, taking me in his embrace. "You smell good love. I miss our shower time together." He licked my neck, making me giggle."Brenton, I've decided that I'll move in with you. I'm going all the way with you here." I grinned at him, as he choked on his coffee."Fuck! Hot! Coffee hot! Damn. You should take my coffee before you got me all excited Nikki." But he held me tighter and gave me a big fat kiss.He was beyond excited, and we went to my place right away and packed all the small stuff and moved it to his.I decided until the house is sold, I'm just going to leave the rest of my stuff there, an
Chasing His Muse 27. Going to the Doctor
"So, you look tired babe. But you loved it right? Look I'm going to take good care of you okay? Let me just make a quick stop for salt and ice before we go home." He kissed my knuckles, and back to concentrating on the road."I love it, I'm good, I'm tired, and I'm on my period. So excuse my sudden bitchiness, that may make appearances in the next five days." I told him as his face grows with disappointment, making me laughed."I know baby, no worries there are other ways, I can fulfill you sexually. On that note, I was thinking of going for the implant tomorrow since I'm on my period, it could get inserted right away and I will be protected from my pregnancy." I explained to him."We don't have to wait for another week until the hormones kick in." His face lighted up instantly, for the chance of having sex without a condom."Call her now, asked if there's an opening for today. Might as well get in done today." He tapped his fingers on t
Chasing His Muse 26. Ballet with Marco
I could feel everyone's eyes were on me. Walking inside the ballet studio, with one tattooed goodness man holding my back possessively.Thankfully, Marco saw me immediately and called me out. "Nicolette, there you are I was wondering will you be joining us or not." He gave me a warm brotherly hug."Hey Marco, it's been a while how's Justin?" I tried to make small talk with him, but his eyes wandered to Brenton. "And this is Brenton, my boyfriend. It's a long story with Collin, we'll talk it out at lunch?""Hey there Brenton, I'm Marco. Nice to meet you. You look familiar, are you Brenton Adams? Oh my, you are! Shit Nico, no wonder you've been missing. Can I?" He asked for a hug from Brenton, which he gladly gave to Marco.Damn, this just became more and more awkward. "So, Nikki I'll pick you up after lunch?" He asked looking a bit out of place, with all the tights and the tutus.
Chasing His Muse 25. Meeting Marcie
"Nikki...hurry up, I'm hungry." He called out from the kitchen."Give me five, babe." I was finishing off my looks, and putting on my body lotion."Hey, beautiful. Come, let's go." He squeezed my ass as I slapped his hand and laughed."You can pick the restaurant, I'm good either way. I'll be eating salads for dinner from now on." I told him as we get in the car."Mm...ok let's get some Italian. Then we go to the grocery store." He kissed me and started to drive off.Dinner was great, we talked more and became at ease with our conversation. I envied him for getting the lasagna, it looked delicious. But I was keeping my salad and eat it dryly.We were getting my groceries when someone called out Brenton's name. He immediately groaned and pulled me closer possessively.Shit! The voluptuous red-haired bitch is here!What was she tryi
