Laura finally left me alone with my book. I love my books, where I could escape from my reality into another world of people's minds. Sometimes I would think, that was my therapy.
I would feel better in the inside minds of brilliant authors. Lost in fictions of heroes, knights, and kingdoms where all led up to bravery, strength, and persistence. I would get lost, and caught up in the story and found out another day had gone by, and the sky was getting darker.
That day I could feel, someone was watching me from the corner, as I was reading. But I kept on reading anyway, never minding others as I liked to be left alone.
Until Laura came to get me and ushered me back to my room. I passed the corner seat and saw a sketch, a beautiful sketch of a woman by the window reading a book with rays of sunshine highlighted her soft pale features. Laura saw to my direction and picked up the sketchbook.
"It's Brenton's, I should give it back to him. He was in a hurry when he left an hour ago. It's beautiful tough, he really captured you beautifully, in this one." She told me, I was a bit stunned but tried to appear casual. To which she laughed. Sometimes it was really surprising, how she knew and could read me so well.
The next day, Laura accompanied me to our group meeting, where we were supposed to share our issues with other patients there.
That day I was back to sheltering myself from others. Resisting every attempt from the group leader, to try and made me share and opened up to the group. I left the meeting still feeling the same sadness and helplessness.
I was so focused on my book, reading while walking to my favorite seat by the window. Until I smashed myself, into a body. I slowly looked up finding the tattooed handsome goodness' face, he was smiling looking down at me. Looking amused, that I bumped into him.
Musk. Manly aftershave scent.
What? why? damn! It has been a really long time.I quickly tried to get around him but, he held my stance. "Nicolette, I was hoping to talk to you. I saw your sketch. The strong strokes, composition, the passion is there. Why do you stop?" He took my book, marked it, and closed it.
He was taking my hand smoothly like he was used to handling fragile things. He led me to the garden, he informed Laura at the desk, that he was going to take a walk with me outside. She nodded and smiled at me. "Just bring her back, when she wants to Brenton. Take care of her, she's my baby." I pouted at her and she laughed.
We sat on the bench, he was waiting for me to talk. He didn't push me, he just patiently waited for me.
"Collin, my husband. He made me quit painting. Sorry but I can't paint, it reminds me of him. I don't want to be reminded of him." My body instantly shuddered, my tears trickled down my cheeks.
"Fuck! Sorry, I can't do this. I don't share. It hurts too much." He held my hand in his. Kept rubbing it trying to calm me down. But didn't say anything. He wiped my tears away and hugged me. Put his chin on top of my head, and keeps rubbing my back. I kept on staying still and didn't say anything. I finally calmed down and he let me go.
"Do you want to read in my class? I'd like to paint you. May I? You can read anywhere you want, right? I like catching people's expressions, and yours is a very honest one. The sadness it's so deep, I need to paint it." He caressed and stroked my cheek. He didn't smile, he looked sad and understanding. But I could see that there was a wanting in his eyes. The need for my approval. I didn't say anything to him. But it was like he could see it in my eyes.
He held out his hand, as I took his and followed him to his class. Laura looked at us, a bit taken back that I would follow him back to his class, after my last incident. He led me to sit on the stool, that he already moved to the center of the room. He gave me back my book and told me to continue reading it. While he got back behind the canvas and started painting.
I let him be, as I continued my reading. We stayed silent for almost two hours until he finally finished. His face was clear like he had accomplished something.
He came to me and held out his hand. His eyes were telling me to follow him, as I did. I looked behind the canvas. His strokes, his choices of colors it was genius. He was freaking talented. This was a gallery-quality painting. I knew this stuff, I went to school for this. Not many people could achieve this kind of art within a day, not to mention two hours.
"Why are you here? This is amazing, not many artists can achieve this kind of result in such a small amount of time." I hovered my hand above his painting, catching the sadness in his strokes. My tears fell feeling the sadness in his painting. "Beautiful." I couldn't even bring my hand to touch the painting it was too beautiful.
He wiped my tears for the second time today. "You are beautiful. Even your sadness is beautiful. I would like to paint you again tomorrow." He didn't ask, just stated so. I nodded to his statement.
"Come, let me get you back to Laura. I should get going. I will see you again tomorrow. Keep on reading your books for now. It will keep your mind occupied from your husband, and your inner demons." He rubbed my shoulder and slowly kissed my temple, as I closed my eyes feeling his warmth.
He left me with Laura. Thanking me for my time. And told Laura to spared me some time, in my schedule with him tomorrow. She smiled looking at me and back at him, and confirmed to him that she will do that.
Collin called me this morning. Laura put me on the line with him, after confirming whether I would like to receive his phone call or not. I said yes to her. Saying I was afraid he would come here if I didn't answer his phone. I didn't want to ever see his face ever again. Not even in another lifetime.He called just to check-in on me. "Hello wife, how are you today? I've got your report from Dr. Raynes in my hand. Saying that you still try to kill your self there, a couple of days ago. Answer me, wife, is that true?" He started laughing and my tears started to fall, Laura was by my side in no time. Knowing I was still on the phone with Collin. Gesturing if I want the call to be cut off or not, I shook my head no to her. I was still afraid that he would visit me. At least I didn't have to see his face when he was mocking me."Well? Can't you speak anymore woman?""Yes, I did. I still want to." My voice was just a whisper now. I was telling the t
Fruits! Fucking fruits!It's like art class all over again. Wait...this is an art class. It was an art class with tattooed handsome goodness standing in front.Well, this I can live with. I started to paint. Sketching my outlines slow then fast, strong strokes keeping my sketch composition proportional.I could feel him behind me, saying nothing. His warmth hovers on top of me. I closed my eyes for a moment then sighed. He lowered himself, put his tattooed palm on my shoulder and his lips lingered beside my ear."Beautiful, nice strong strokes, powerful arch, keep it up, Nicolette." He left me abruptly, his deep voice made me sighed.Deep breath woman! You can do this! Just paint the fucking fruits!You can fuck the tattooed handsome goodness later on! Wait what??
Dr. Raynes called me to his office the next day. "Morning, Mrs. Buford. First of all, we would like to give you our condolences. I'm very sorry for your loss. Please have a seat." He told me, pulling a chair for me to sit. He waited until I was seated, then he continued."I'm not sure if your lawyer has been in touch with you or not. If not we will facilitate your meeting, and contact him for you. We will make sure, everything goes as smoothly as possible. In a couple of days, we will transfer you back to your home." He told me, while he was shuffling my files on his desk."But be sure that we will still available for you, for further consultation. Laura will assist you, Mrs. Buford. Again, we're sorry for your loss." He explained to me, another technicality but I was already tuned out by then.My head was already doing weird thinking, I was ready to fall back to my corner when Laura assisted me to get up, and we went back
Two days later I was back home. Ian, my lawyer was at the hospital previously to assist me with the paperwork for them. Then when we got home, Regan his daughter was there waiting for us.He asked previously, was it okay if Regan joined us. He said that she has been asking about me. We used to be really close in college, but after Collin, we just drifted apart."Nicolette, hey how are you holding up? I'm sorry I haven't visited you. I'm just not sure about where we stand, since Collin. I should've fought harder for you when he told me things about you. God, I'm so sorry, Nic." She hugged me, it felt so nice to have her back."I miss you, Regan, I miss us, I miss having friends. It's not your fault Reg, look can we just move past everything and move on?" I hugged her back and wiped my tears away. Happy tears, for having my friend back."Thank you, Ian, thank you for bringing her back into my life." I hugged
I couldn't sleep. I kept tossing and turning in my bed.Fuck! The bed! I need to change the bed.Before I knew it, all the memories came flooding, the betrayal, the hurt. I quickly got out of bed like it was on fire. Tears streaming down my face.Fuck it, woman! You're better than this. The fucker is dead!I kept on trying to hold my self up. Conversing with my self. But still couldn't do it. I needed someone. My hands were trembling. I reached for my phone, it slipped out of my grips a couple of times but I managed to call Brenton. Didn't know why I press his number. But I just wanted somebody to be here, not talking about it.He picked up, after a couple of rings."Nicolette? Are you okay?" His voice was heavy like he just woke up."Hey, Nicolette. Are you at the house?" He asked again since I hadn't answered his
I woke up, feeling the empty bed beside me. I stretched out my arms and legs, feeling the soreness between my legs.Oh my... it was definitely not a dream.Then I saw him seating on the other side of the room, with his sketchbook. Wearing nothing just his boxers. "Morning Brenton, what are you doing?" I smiled at him suddenly embarrassed, that I was still naked.I tried to find my clothes, but he threw me his shirt instead.Ok then...He came to me, giving me a cup of coffee. "Thank you." I grinned, sit myself up, and drank it."Finished your coffee. I want my breakfast after this." He said, and then threw his sketchbook, and got under the cover. His hands started to wander to my legs, slowly inching to my sex. I sipped my coffee, then set it aside to the bedside table."Need
"So, you want to check out the studio? I think you will like it. You can paint there also." He gently rubbed my arm."Why don't we start the day like normal people, and have breakfast first? Let's go, it's been a while since I prepare my own meal. You can sketch me cooking if you want?" I teased him."Anyway, I have a lunch date with Regan, we have so much to catch up. I think Collin said some hurtful things to her. About she's being gay, and he doesn't want me to stay friends with her. But I love her. She's part of my past. We used to be inseparable in college." I started to get up and wore his shirt again. He was looking amused at me now.I took my coffee and went to the kitchen, he followed behind me, after he put on his pants."Savory or sweet for the pancake?" I pulled out some flour and started mixing the batter. It had been a while, I missed doing this mundane stuff, around the house. It felt good t
I slipped off my flats, flopped my ass on the couch, and decided to text Brenton.Hey, I'm home now. Just got back. What are you doing?Hey, I'm not doing you for sure.Mmm... Yes, I miss you doing me.I'm still at a meeting with my agent, I thought you were still busy. I waited. But you didn't text.So you will come here afterward? You don't have to ask twice. Just wait for me okay.Will do. I'm gonna take a bath. Maybe I'll start doing myself without you? Damn, you shouldn't say things like that, I'm in a meeting.I know baby, that's why I'm enticing you. So you know exactly what I'm doing without you.I know, I'll regret this. But tell me, what are you doing to yourself?So you do want to know