Life Is A Ride

…Tyler POV…

The time has come…the final hour has passed.

In as little as a few minutes, they will come to wheel me away. What emotions do I feel? There are so many things that capture my mind; the one thing that brings up its ugly head is regret.    

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, and making the best of it without knowing what's going to happen next.

Why did I not learn to treat everything like it was the last time? My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future. The truth is that unless you let go unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone, the more it wants to getaway. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you because you think that your feelings were wrong, and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. Damn, there's nothing like that, is there? I've been there, and you have to. You're nodding your head.

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true; it's called Life.                                                                                                                                   

You've got to dance like there's nobody watching, love like you'll never be hurt, sing like there's nobody listening, and live like it's heaven on earth.          

But most of all, you need to forget about it, do not be a prisoner of your fate, for you cannot change it.

One thing that I cannot change is how I am feeling inside; apart from wanting to give up, I need, I feel that I am holding on to hope and fate, that are but merely two words designed to make you believe in small things such as miracles.

Do I believe that a miracle does exist? If I look at Jenna, then I see that they indeed do, yet though she gives me that strength, I feel that I am only dragging her down with me.                                                                                                                                       

So, Jenna, before it is too late. I want to thank you for bringing so many pleasant, beautiful memories and emotions. For giving me so much affection, warmth, and care. For the lovely nights. For the minutes when I am near you. For your smile. For the kind words. For all the good that is between us. I realize how dear you are to me and that you are the person with whom I am ready to go through life with. You are the one whom I want to give my affection and warmth to, whom I want to take care of.

I feel incredibly large and genuinely wonderful feelings for you, without which a person does not live but simply exists - this is love. You are everything to me, and even more, you are the one for which I live and breathe. I love you, and I will love you forever! 

I love you madly, from your first look into my eyes...This moment I will always remember in our relationship. You are the one who gives me the best feelings. I did not have such feelings, but I waited, looked for...and now the moment has come...you are mine! I love you more than life! Sometimes it seems as if my love is so great that your love is not even noticeable ... But I know that you love me! You give me joy and fill my life with meaning! I want to shout to the whole world that I love you!

You are my favorite and dearest person in the world! You are the most beautiful person ever, and I am very happy that I have you near me! You know that I love you, I have already told you this many times, but I want everyone to know about it. I understand that I love you madly, and I don't even doubt my feelings! You are the best woman for me in this world! 

You suddenly appeared in my life, and this feeling so suddenly arose and developed into boundless love for you! I really understand that without you, I can no longer live! I don't need anyone, and nobody can replace you! My heart belongs only to you forever. Only with you, I am really happy, and only with you, I want to stay forever! 

I want to say a lot. Leave even more unsaid. Things that can only be felt, those even the best writer could not describe with words. Feel the touch of your lips, the touch of your silky skin, the feeling that pierces the soul and leaves a deep trace of sweet memories, anticipation of incredible sensations, and an alarming heartbeat! 

Sometimes I don't know where I'm going and, actually, why. I remember your eyes, and the earth flies out from under your feet, intoxicated with delight and pride. 

I carefully keep your bright image in my memory. Every word, what your tender lips say, they all remain with me. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I cannot hear the words themselves; I merely heed the magic sound of your voice. Your touch is like a magical rite that makes me desire only to love you and you alone forever.

I am no happier man when I am near you, breathing in the scent of your hair. You are perfect in everything - your look, smile, voice... I look at you, and I cannot find the right words from excitement. And it seems that when we are together, words are not needed. Before you, I didn't live or breathe. 

The sound of your voice, like a melody for my heart, is sweet, gentle, and magical. The touch of your hands makes me forget about everything that seemed important before. The expression on your face is a divine picture created by an inspired artist. I want to dissolve in your beauty and charm, knowing the bliss of infinity. 

You changed my life in one moment, and I thank you for it! You are a gentle angel sent to me from heaven, and your care makes me feel appreciated every day. Your magic smile can dispel all my fears and doubt, return faith and turn life into a dream. Having met you, I seemed to have found what I have been looking for so long. I do not know the words to express all the shades of my feelings for you. I love you madly, and I am immensely grateful to you for this love! 

My love is forever yours. Come rain and sunshine, I will treat you like a diamond and will never let you stay a mile from me. Even if you are far away from me, you will never leave my heart, even for a second. My love for you will blossom until my dying days because I have felt purpose, and I want to show you, love. 

Every word you confide in me, every wonderful and terrible moment you share with me, melts me inside. You let yourself be vulnerable with me and trust me beyond my comprehension. I never imagined I would truly find another whom I would want to spend so much time with, who could truly touch my life the way you have, even without trying. I look forward to many more special moments together. When I see you, I see my future. 

I remember the first time I saw you. I knew I wanted to be with you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I couldn't stop looking at you, your eyes, your smile – you stole my heart the first moment you spoke. I didn't believe in love at first sight until I met you. And to this day, I can't believe you chose me to be with you. You're everything I want as a partner, and you're mine. Don't think for a minute that I don't appreciate everything you do for us. You're everything to me. 

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing that hits my mind is you. Loving you is like an addiction to me. My life was incomplete before you came into it. Since I met you, my life has changed completely. You and I, both meeting together, was not an accident. I wish you knew how much I adore you. 

You are the guarding angel of my life. You have been with me in sickness and health, through rough and smooth, and in all ups and downs of my life. On seeing your nobility and generosity, I have started respecting women a bit more. This may sound braggy, but I am head over heels in love with you. You have turned into my significant other without whom I cannot live. You add a tune to the song of my life. Darling, I want to remind you that you are really, really special to me. I want to see you eye-to-eye every day and express my love for you. Please never leave me and stay with me forever till eternity. 

I am blessed to have you in my life. Before I met you, I had no direction; my dreams were shattered. I remember moving from one point to another in search of the unknown. Since you came into my life, you have given me hope. My life has changed. 

You are the girl of my dreams. Since you came into my life, you changed everything. I cannot stop thinking about you. My life has been full of happiness and smile. You have made my days brighter and nights better. What you have given me makes me feel great. You are the reason I always smile, as you are always in my thoughts. You are my best friend. You make my heart skip a beat every time I see you because I adore you so much. 

I never knew how joyous life could be until I met you. This is something I have never felt before, and it is you that inspires it. When I think about you and our relationship, I feel a warmness inside. I cannot hide my smiles, even when we are apart. This connection is special, amazing, and I ask myself...is it Destiny? I wonder who created this new and better me? It's You.

I know my ramblings make no sense because it makes no sense that I have to lose you. Both to a demon raging inside of me and the one raging between us. Please listen to my rambling; I need you to see that I cannot live without you."

So forget about it. Yes, it will be very hard, but forget about the things that you cannot change. Don't be a prisoner of it.

And with this thought in mind, they come to wheel me out of the room; as you hold my hand for the very last time, I can see the terror in your eyes. I wish that I can reassure you that everything will be fine. But I can't.

I don’t know if I am ever going to see you again, but know one thing, “I love you.”

And as you wipe those tears away, it is with only but a stuttering breath that you let go of my hand, “I love you too.”

Yes, life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!