Chapter 3

"Come on, Jelly, you are going to love it! I mean it's one of those once a year legendary parties."

"Hindi nga pwede. Umalis ka na, naiinis na ang customer sa 'yo."

It's been exactly two months since my escapades that one fateful night. And Trisha is now pestering me to have another 'wild night'. After the way things went last time, I'd rather not.

My life is basically back to normal. Pagkatapos ng klase ko ay dumideritso ako sa restaurant, uuwi ng alas dies pagkatapos ng shift at gagawa ng school works. Tuwing sabado at linggo naman ay nagpa-part-time ako rito sa convenient store malapit sa apartment para savings ko.

"Sige, aalis ako pero hihintayin kita sa apartment mo." Isang kindat ang iniwan sa akin ni Trisha bago ako tinalikuran. Ang ilang mga lalaki na narito sa loob ay napabahol sa kanya ng tingin nang ihampas-hampas niya ang balakang habang naglalakad palabas ng convenient store.

Napailing na lamang ako at muling ibinalik ang atensyon sa mga customer.

Ala sais y media ng gabi nang matapos ang trabaho ko. Bago ako umuwi ay dumaan muna ako sa karinderia ng ulam para hindi na ako magluto pa.

Inaasahan ko na madadatnan ko si Trisha sa apartment pag-uwi ko kagaya ng isa sinabi niya, ngunit wala siya. Ikinatuwa ko na naman iyon dahil gusto ko matulog ng maaga ngayon.

I took a shower and blow-dried my hair. Matapos ko kumain ay nakatanggap ako ng text mula kay Serena, nagtatanong kung pwede ako pumasok bukas sa restaurant. Sayang din ang apat na daan kaya pumayag na ako.

I decided to relax in my bed with a good book from my collection, a steamy romantic mystery. I was engrossed with the words filling the pages that I didn't realize Trisha had intruded. She jumped on my bed, and screamed in my ear.

Scaring me so bad that I screamed my lungs out and fell hard onto the ground off from my bed. Hearing her booming laughter, l immediately jumped up glaring at her. After a few minutes she's still laughing her ass off, and I no longer can take it, so I slapped her arms so hard.

"Ang sadista mo na ngayon," reklamo niya habang hawak-hawak ang braso na hinampas ko.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito? Hindi ba't sinabi ko sa 'yo na hindi ako sasama?" seryoso kong sabi, my voice dripping with annoyance.

Ngumuso siya at ibinuka ang bibig para magsalita ngunit inunahan ko na. "That is not going to work this time—" I stopped mid sentence, running to the bathroom, throwing up everything I had eaten today.

"Ayos ka lang ba?" Mabilis akong dinaluhan ni Trisha at hinagod ang likuran ko.

Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang pakiramdam ko sa mga sandaling iyon. I felt like I spilled all my insides. Utterly exhausted, I laid on the bathroom floor feeling like I'm on death's doorstep.

"Ano bang nangyayari sa 'yo? May masakit ba? Gusto mo ba dalhin kita sa hospital ngayon?" sunod-sunod na tanong ni Trisha. "You look awful."

Tinabig ko ang kamay niya nang hawakan niya ako. "Hindi na. Ayos lang ako, may nakain na naman ata ako na hindi maganda. Pero ayos lang ako, wag mo ako alalahanin."

"Na naman?"

"I've been throwing up all week."

Iyon ang totoo. Gustuhin ko man pumunta sa hospital para magpatingin sa doktor ay iniisip ko ang pera. Siguro naman ay gagaling na rin ako bukas.

Trisha looked at me for a few seconds. I saw her eyes scanned my body. "Oh my God!"

"B-Bakit…?"

"When was your last period?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "I don't get regular periods. It comes when it wants, you know this."

"Yes, I know that! I mean, have you gotten it in the last two months at all?"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko dahil sa tanong niya, nahulaan agad kung ano ang iniisip niya. "I-I haven't got it in the last two months—Pero hindi ako buntis, malabo yun." Hindi ko alam kung siya ba ang kinukumbinsi ko o ang sarili ko.

Maaaring wala ako sa sarili ko noong gabi na yun pero nakita ko na gumamit ng condom. Nakita ko. Kaya imposible na mabuntis ako.

"But you might be…"

Nabalot ng katahimikan ang buong banyo. Hindi na siya muling nagsalita at hindi na ako nakapagsalita pa.

"I'm going out to get a pregnancy test. Stay right there, I'll be back in 20 minutes."

"Ano ba! Hindi nga ako buntis!" singhal ko sa kanya. Tila wala siyang narinig at tinalikuran ako, narinig ko na lang na bumukas ang pintuan ng apartment at agad na sumarado.

Inis kong sinabunutan ang sarili. Napapikit ako at sinandal ang ulo sa dingding ng banyo.

It was not long when Trisha came back holding a mercury drug store paper bag. Hindi ko alam kung 20 minutes na ba siyang nawala dahil pakiramdam ko huminto ang oras.

Iniabot niya sa akin ang dalawang Pregnancy Test at tinulungan ako tumayo mula sa pagkakasalampak sa sahig.

"Go, try it." Isinarado niya ang pintuan ng banyo at hinintay ako sa labas.

Isang malakas na buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan ko bago ginawa ang gusto niya. I slowly looked at the stick showing two lines.

No. This can't be.

Ibinato ang Pregnancy Test na may nakaguhit na dalawang pulang linya. Kinuha ko ang isa pa at muling sinubukan para makasigurado. Pwede naman magkamali ang Pregnancy Test, di ba?

Nanginginig ang kamay ko nang pinanuod ko ang pagguhit ng dalawang pula sa ikalawang pagkakataon. Para akong pinagbagsakan ng langit at lupa sa mga sandaling iyon.

“Jelly?" tawag ni Trisha mula sa labas. Nang hindi ako sumagot ay malakas niyang itinulak ang pintuan at pumasok.

Pinulot niya ang isang Pregnancy Test na ibinato ko. Umawang ang bibig niya matapos makita iyon at inagaw sa akin ang Pregnancy Test na hawak ko.

"You're pregnant," she slowly announced.

No. This can't be happening. Hindi pwede. This was not the plan. This was not my plan—I was supposed to be successful, then get married at 30, only then have one kid at 35 and live happily ever after. Bakit ganito? Hindi dapat ganito!

This was not the way it was supposed to go. One stupid decision and now my whole life is fucked. How could I let this happen?

Trisha shook me, and I realized I was crying hysterically. I pulled my hair so hard, trying to calm myself down.

"You need to calm down, Jelly. We'll figure this out, I'm here for you. Please calm down. I got you," she said in that annoying matherly tone which surprisingly calms me down.

"Pregnancy tests aren't 100 percent, right? Maybe we can go and see an OB-gyn to make sure. It might be a false alarm," desperadang sabi ko.

Knowing myself it's a long shot, Trisha sympathetic look just made my heart sink even further. Even though she already knew what the OB-gyn results would be, she agreed, giving me a sad smile. If there's one person who knew how badly I needed to follow the plan I've made for my life, it's her, which is why I knew she felt exactly how I feel right now.

Exhausted from all tonight's activities, I dragged myself to bed, and started sobbing all over again. Not knowing how to stop. Not knowing how I'll ever be okay, how I even survive. I can't even take care of myself, how the hell am I going to take care of a baby?

What about my studies? My two time consuming jobs? All my bills? My fucking life plan? How could I let this happen?

Pumasok si Trisha sa kwarto ko na may dala-dalang tissue at baso ng tubig, inilapag niya yun sa nightstand at tumabi sa akin. Niyakap niya ako at ipinatong ang ulo ko sa mga hita niya.

I don't know when I finally stopped crying and fell asleep, but I woke up this morning to a skull breaking headache. Not seeing Trisha anywhere, I made my way to the bathroom.

I look like absolute shit.

Napahinto ako nang lumabas ako ng banyo. Ang maliit kong lamesa ay punong-puno ng mga pagkain. My eyes lit up, and I rushed to the table, filled a plate and started eating. I almost moan at the delicious food. Isa sa mga talento ni Trisha ay ang husay sa pagluluto.

I grabbed a glass of orange juice, and then gulped it down. I was about to grab another slice of toast when the front door opened, and Trisha walked in, looking like a model, speaking into the phone.

"Yes, yes, we'll be there. See you then." She looked up at me, smiling softly. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Parang buong gabi minartilyo ang ulo ko."

Mahina siyang natawa. Kumuha siya ng plato para sa sarili niya at nag-simula na rin kumain. "We got an appointment with an OB-gyn at 12. It's now half past 10, so I suggest you get ready. You are not going to some cheap hospital. We are going to get you the best, and I'm paying—Shut it."

Muli kong pinasadahan ng tingin ang mga pagkain na nasa lamesa nang may naalala. "Hindi na ba galit ang daddy mo?" tanong ko sa kanya.

Malaki ang ngiti niya sa akin nang tumango. "Not anymore."

Mabilis akong tumayo at tumakbo sa banyo nang pakiramdam ko ay maduduwal na naman ako. Ang lahat ng kinain ko sa umagang iyon ay isinuka ko lamang.

Inayos ko ang sarili ko para sa pagpunta namin sa OB-gyn, pinagdadasal na sana mali ang Pregnancy Test.

Gusto ko magkaanak. Sino ba naman ang hindi? Pero hindi pa ngayon. Hindi pwede ngayon.

"Let's go?" Trisha said, walking out, knowing that I do not want to talk about it.

We got to the private hospital and made our way to the 7th floor. Trisha gave our names to the receptionist, where the woman told us to have a seat, and the Doctor will be with us in a minute.

Nang tawagin na ang pangalan ko ay nanginig na naman ang mga kamay ko. Mabuti na lamang at hinawakan ako ni Trisha.

"Ms. Fajardo, the doctor will see you now," the receptionist called out.

Trisha and I stood up, made our way to the doctor's examining room.

The nurse greeted us. Inutusan niya ako pumunta sa banyo sa loob ng silid na iyon at pinaihi sa isang cup.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Verde. I am going to run a few tests, take a sample of your blood, and ask some questions. Are you okay with that, Ms. Fajardo?" A beautiful middle aged woman spoke as soon as I stepped out of the bathroom.

I nodded, not trusting my voice. After she took my blood, inspected my body, and asked some uncomfortable personal questions, she stepped out.

Trisha squeezed my hand reassuringly. After what felt like hours, which in reality was probably only fifteen minutes, Doctor Verde stepped back into the room, smiling at me.

"You're going to be a mommy! Congratulations!"