FOUR

For some, puberty was a beautiful transition from naivety, girlhood, candidness into, womanhood, into proficient independence, but for me it was all nothing except ugliness, pimples, hormonal changes and mood swings. Sometimes I always wished I could show my school mates how cool I was. I had visions were I would be bullied by my bully Carly and suddenly , I would morph into my wolf form and intimidate her in front of everybody and they would be amazed and they would cheer for me and would start loving me. I was never much of a dreamer when it came to popularity and all those high school social classifications. I liked the fact that I was different. I loved the fact that I was an introvert. I took pride in the fact that I was deep, deep in knowledge and i was wise. Deep in internal ambiances and I my silence was serene. My teacher called me wise beyond my years. An old soul in a seventeen year old's body.

I was sort of considered a late bloomer in "wolf terms." Every body got their senses kick in at the age of twelve but mine came in at ripe late age of sixteen. The same way puberty had hit me. In my family, there were seven of us including my father. There used to be eight members but I killed the lunar of our clan; but i did not do it on purpose. I don't even remember the tragic day of her passing, when I supposedly robbed her of her life at the age of thirty five, leaving her family behind bearing nothing but anger and resentment against a tender soft hearted and fragile me. My father never missed an opportunity to remind me of how I killed his wife, how if I had not been born, she would have been alive. He has always been the one to expect more from me, yet all I ever gave and presented him was shame and hatred. "Your mother died to bring you into this world and this is what you do to repay her for her sacrifice? You shame her even in her death, you won't let that woman rest in peace? "

"Father I said I'm sorry, why do you always have to say those awful things to me?"I wept one day when he reprimanded me for something. That would be the day I would learn that my father was no one to mess with. I would learn he was a danger to me just as much as he was to himself.

"Because if I'm not going to get my wife back, i expect you to honour her by being like her. "

"I'm not my mother! Father I am me!" I lashed out at him. "Why do you blame me so much for her death, its not like I asked to born!" I said as I attempted to leave, waving my hand behind me back at him in disgust.

He uttered four simple words before I felt his claws scar me on the right lower side of my shoulder. "You ungrateful little twerp!"

I screamed as I left the room in a panic. My brothers fought to retain him in his moment of unfathomable strength as he struggled to crontrol his rage. If they had not been there, he would have surely killed me. I had four brothers, my eldest sibling being twenty seven. He had long found his mate and had started his own little clan. He had moved out to begin his very own life. My other three brothers were aged nineteen, twenty one and twenty five, while my sinister was twenty four. All of them had had the glory of getting their wolf senses at the ages of twelve and thirteen, but when my sixteenth birthday started to linger around, my father grew worried. At fourteen most people would be morphing, all my family could but i had not even given a hint that maybe my senses could happen sooner by now; my father was troubled to the point that one day he grabbed my arm and dragged me outside while my sister followed in a panicked state. "Where are you taking her?" She shouted as she ran behind us. When we got to the forest my father said, "do it, I know you're hiding it, its time to be serious now, all jokes over."

"Do what? " I asked confused.

He looked back at me in confusion. "What do you mean by 'do what?' Morph of course! " he said irritated.

"Dad, I cant!" I said.

"Yes you can Anathi." He replied. "Listen to me child, just slouch a little and concentrate on morphing."

I did as I was told but nothing came to me except immerse fear for my father.

"I told you I can't dad. Just give me time." I said.

"You don't have time Anathi, soon in two years time you'll be expected to find your mate. How are you going to do that when you can not even morph? Now get back on, slouch and try, we won't go home until you do it." He said pacing back and forth. "I know, come on, get on top of that rock and jump. I know it worked for your brother Japhet, it will probably work for you too come on," he gazed at me as I looked upon him in utter disbelief.

"What are you saying to her Dad, are you trying to kill her?" My sister shouted as she stood leaning on a tree hugging her jacket while watching us, probably feeling sorry for me.

"Come on!" He insisted as he paced towards the gigantic stack of giant granite rocks behind us. I watched him as I was failing to comprehend his logic. He would scare me into morphing? He would risk me getting a few fractures for the sake of his ego, so that he did not have to be embarrassed infront of his friends, the council and other families anymore, embarrassed of the fact that he had a daughter who had reached the age of menses yet she still couldn't morph. I was probably hallucinating it all, I thought. He wasn't that desperate. But then my fear was confirmed, when he dragged me up the rocks and pushed me down the tiny cliffy stack and I fell on the ground with a thud. I cried in pain. I tried to get up but I couldn't.

"Ok, Anathi , be a woman and get up!" He said uncaringly.

"Dad look at her leg, it's not supposed to be facing that way!" My sister shouted as she ran towards me. "Anathi, are you okay sis?" She asked with a hint of utter apprehension in her voice.

My foot was badly fractured and it was broken from the knee going down below and twisted at a ninety degree angle facing the other way. " It looks broken." my dad said as he cringed.

"Okay Anathi, I'm sorry. It's just that, I want you to do your best. That's why I scold you. It's not that I hate you but It is because I love so much my daughter that's why I do these things. Come on let's take you to hospital." He looked worried and guilty and at the same time.

I was moved. I had never seen my dad show me so much emotion then. The way he embraced me like a child while shooshing me as I screamed in pain. It's like he felt my pain too. I decided to get one a whim of courage and try again. I kept quiet and tried. "Anathi don't move, you've got a broken leg you can't be... " but before I finished I heard gasps of awe behind me. My sister screamed in fear as she gazed at me with her hands over her mouth. As I had knelt on the ground my good leg straight and balancing me, my broken leg was clumsily kneeling the end hanging loosely behind me. I had held the loose semi wet sands of the soil and felt one with the earth. I had tasted the lucid and livid moist of waters in the air as the rain drizzled in the warm night. I had felt the fire ablaze within me, I had tasted the sweet and bitter breeze of the calm and quiet night on my face and the spirit within me was at peace, so much that the wolf within me emerged. Suddenly my vision became distorted a bit, I lingered about, staggeringly. Then I raced into the woods. I smelled the sour odor of the wet wood from the trees, the chlorophyll in their lively green leaves. I could see past the vision of a human's eyes. I saw thing's in places far away and near no human eye would have dares to notice. Later, I was found lying naked near a stream by a proud father and a fearful sister and i was taken home. My leg fracture had mysteriously healed after my transformation.