FIVE

This memory lingered within me, living in my mind that when ever I felt insecure about my self , about my body, it would refreshen. I lay awake all night gazing at the stars out side my window.

His words kept on ringing in my head, "You're ugly, you should feel lucky that someone like me chose you." Dumuzi's words had cut deep into my heart, the way he had mercilessly judged my body as I twirled and twisted to the music right in front of him. I lay thinking about what would happen at school.

Morning dawned in on the night and I still lay awake with no hint of drowsiness or fatigue. It's as if, my sadness had swallowed away all my sleep. I lay thinking about the boy who had taken my virginity. I wanted to get out of bed and start preparing for school but I found my self unable to find the zeal to perform that very simple action. My nerves were on edge. A certain embarrassment, fear, nervousness, unease or some similar feeling had settled in and lingered within me. I was deathly afraid of what everybody would think and say when they found out what Dumizi had done to me. My body was like my own secret shrine, my space that Dumuzi had maliciously invaded. I felt vulnerable at the thought of him exposing this secret of us doing the forbidden. I was horrified just imagining him telling his friends what I did, how I did it, the dance, my nakedness, If I had the choice and if it were that easy, I would have changed schools but this was my reality and I had to face my fears.

I got out of bed hesitantly. My body felt weak. I couldn't even dare to think of transfering schools because Mamilantis Academy was one of the most prestigious learning institute's in Atlantis that could be attended even be the middle class like me whose parents were blue collar workers struggling to make ends meet.

Word about my date with the infamous bad boy Dumuzi had circulated in the school like a bad virus during a pandemic. Word had gotten out as usual since people lived for gossip. That's what high school was all about, no wonder I didn't fit in. I found out the hard way as i stood by the lockers that morning preparing for my class, Carly, my bully walked by, and stopped. She greeted and smiled at me, something she had never done before. "Morning Anathi," she said politely. I felt uneasy. Mostly she would have shoved me against the lockers or she would have said something mean about me and her posse would have laughed at her unfunny jokes or she would have punched me hard in the face. She had done all this before not just to me but to other girls as well; even though bullying was strictly outlawed in the academy and only punishable through expulsion.

"Umm... Anathi, could you like come over tonight at my place, because my boyfriend needs someone to hook up with! Since you're like the school's tramp and all!" They all roared out in laughter as I ran to the bathrooms to cry my eyes out.

Later on that day, I would even be more heart broken at seeing Dumuzi with another girl. He had moved on. To him, i had become a memory, an unwanted bother he had to avoid, because when he met me in the school's corridors, he ignored me like I didn't exist. Like before when we hadn't gone on the date. He walked by me without paying me any attention as I stood there. It's not like I really wanted anything from him, its not like I expected him to talk to me, all I wanted to know was if the photos and video had been deleted. It wouldn't have hurt to just greet me either but he chose to treat me like I did not exist, I would later learn that he was not to be trusted. Have you ever walked through a place and felt like all eyes were on you? Like everybody was looking at you and judging you, like they knew something only you don't know. That's how I felt on that day at school. Some even greeted me like I was popular. I cringed at the thought of the reasons for my growing popularity. I was now officially considered a whore and everyone was talking about it. Soon all boys would seek me as their lover, just to have a fun night with me. I might have a chance at being popular because of him. My bad social credit would diminish, anything for my secret to be kept, I would have done. Even the most popular boy in the academy, the quiet one Mr know- it- all, Rydian, wanted to talk to me, he wanted to ask me out, and I actually liked this guy. Like i had mensioned It turns out he actually did not know what I looked like. So he sent over his friends to talk to me and take a picture of me, which they did after class.

"Rydian wants to meet you after school in the woods near the secluded ancient tombs of the Indi. " one of his friends Caleb said in a whisper as he stood with his arm around my waist. His eyes glowed a beautiful light green, his smile was charming.

"For what?" I said as they all gazed at me confused.

"For what?" He said as he looked at the others and they all roar out in utter laughter out of perplexity.

"Dont mind her, she tends to sound like an idiot sometimes when she is around handsome boys. She will definitely come!" My friend said as she blushed in front of them. I looked at her offended. There were three of his friends who had come to talk to me. I agreed to meet him at the place after school.