Behind the scenes

“Where am I?” My voice comes out as a hoarse whisper, as my head continued to swivel in all directions, looking for something that would at least give me a clue to where I was. I wince as the sudden movement causes my head to bang, and bile to rush to my throat-- and from the scratchy feeling in my throat, I could tell it was not the first time this had happened. The bare, stone walled room was very unfamiliar, as were the plain satin sheets on the king sized bed that threatened to swallow me whole, my bed back home certainly did not require me to go around it before I could climb in.“Where am I?” I ask again, this time a bit louder than a whisper, and I was met with the same echo of my croaky voice, no answer to my question.My head banged and the world tilted, and no matter how I tried, I could not remember what happened few hours prior, but that was not the only reason my mind screamed at me that I was genuinely and absolutely fucked.I find an adjoining door wide open, and scram

The night quickly drew closer, and even if it was not a formal event, my glam team worked on my appearance, when I protested, they inform me that this was what they did, and I only had to do my part later. I smile between them, wondering if this was how it felt to have friends, the swelling feeling in my chest, the rush between in my veins, was this the reason people had friends? I was always good at being another people, being myself was where I had the trouble, that was why acting was everything to me. That was why when I was not acting, I had no idea how to relate with people, how to act without a script, how to exist without direction, what to do without the cameras, that was where I fell short, my own body felt foreign, how do I place my hands without coming off as awkward as I felt? No director told you if your facial muscles were not relaxed enough as you went about making friends. And this was the grand reason I have no single person to call my friend in all my twenty nine ye

“Letting a man do as he pleases with my body... having no control over everything that happens to me, being used as a cock sleeve...” I hug myself even tighter as this doggedly handsome stranger recites my tweets back to me, my teeth grind against the other, annoyance flowing in my veins, why does everyone think they can dictate how my life goes? Was I the only celebrity with a burner account? “No, but you were the only one who made a foolish mistake with both of them.” His deep voice was as calm and collected as he looked. His blue eyes studied me even as he was silent, I shrink further into myself, unsure what to do with the attention. “Why don’t you go wash up, maybe a warm bath would help.” he says this like an order and not a question, and something in me wants to turn around and comply, no questions asked, but I was in a stranger’s house, and no matter how devilishly handsome he was, or how many tingles I get in my belly, just from hearing him speak, I stare at him defiantly.

“What is her name?”His brows meet in the middle as he tried to decode my question, his head even tilts a little to the side in thought, and I found it cute, he had a little pout whenever he was confused, is it bad that I never want him to find out anything? “What?”I gesture to the cat still eating from the bowl, she hasn’t even come up to gasp for air ever since.“You haven’t introduced me to your cat.”The cute pout disappears and I try to hide my disappointment, I should have let him be confused for as long as possible. He has a little smirk on his face, he knows I am trying to change the subject, and he was going to play along, for now.“Crest is not my cat, she wanders here whenever she wants and leaves right after she has gotten what she wants.” he says this with a little shake of his head, like he was disappointed that she only came to him for food. I frown, the name Crest was unusual, and it sounded familiar, and I was sure it was important to me, my eyes wander up to fin

The thoughts that plagued me as soon as his footsteps disappeared down the hall was appalling. I immediately started to see them together in my mind’s eye, the way she held him earlier meant it was a regular occurrence for them, and I was not entirely sure how Clay and Joanne were related, but she definitely liked Abed, or at least that was the feeling I was getting from her. They obviously have known each other longer than I can imagine, so I had no right to be possessive or whatever feeling this was, after all, I was definitely not going to stay here long, I just had to thank him and return to my normal life. Crest the cat meowed, her plate was empty, but she doesn’t wait for me or anyone to refill her plate, she struts out of the room. “You have the better idea between the two of us, I could just dine and run, staying here and waiting until he returns will only make it difficult for me to leave. He was obviously too dangerous to hang around.” I say following the cat, wherever sh