Chapter 1 Nightmare

“What’s the meaning of this, Mia?!” My father angrily shouted at me. Natigil kami sa pagtatawan ni Yunnie nang bigla siyang dumating. Masama ang tingin niya sa aming dalawa. Napalunok ako nang kasama niya si Mama, Lolo, at Ate.

May takot at pag-alala sa mata ng nanay ko, hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Yunnie. Kinakabahan ako at natatakot.

“Mia, my daughter.” My mom called my name in a weaker tone. I tightly held Yunnie’s hand, hindi ko siya bibitawan.

Nahuli nila kami at hindi ko alam ang ipapaliwanag at sasabihin ko o, kung may dapat pa ba akong ipaliwanag sa kanila. Ang hirap naman kasi magmahal, napaka kumplikado.

“Hindi mo ba talaga kami susundin, huh?!” Sigaw niya sa’kin, napapitlag ako sa lakas ng sigaw niya. Natatakot ako sa kanya.

“M-Mia” natatakot na tawag ni Yunnie sa’kin. I don’t know how can I protect her, when I am scared at this moment.

My father grabs my hair “A-aww” I still hold her hand, and she trembles when she sees what my father did to me.

“O-oscar” My Mom tried to stop him. She held his arm. I saw tears in her eyes, she was trying to stop him, even though she knew she couldn't do anything.

“Get out of here, Miranda,” my father warned my Mom.

My grandfather ordered my sister, “Michandria, get her out of here” tukoy niya kay, Yunnie.

“Father, d-don’t hurt Mia.” natatakot na paki-usap ni Yunnie. Parehas kaming natatakot pero ilalaban namin ito.

“Don’t interfere with our family business!” my father was raging mad and he shouted at Yunnie. I need to be strong; we need to be strong, Ilalaban ko siya, ipaglalaban ko ang sa’min, sa lahat, hanggang sa matanggap nila kami.

“I've been holding back for a long time.” father looked at me, and his voice was full of disgust; he disgusted and hated me since he found out that I am his bisexual daughter.

“I thought you change and obey us, huh!?” he pushes me. Kitang-kita ko sa mga mata niya kung gaano siya kagalit.

“She’s your d-daughter don’t treat her like that!” sabi ni Yunnie sa ama ko ngunit, malakas siya nitong sinampal. My Mom gasps at napatulala ako, sumusobra na siya, tatangapin ko pa na sinasaktan niya ako pero ‘yung saktan niya ‘yung ibang tao, ibang usapan na at hindi na tama. Kinuyom ko ang kamao ko.

Gusto kong umiyak. Heto, na naman ‘yung pakiramdam na wala akong kakampi at ayaw sa’kin ng lahat. Gusto kong isigaw at ipa-intindi sa kanila na ganito talaga ako. Heto, ‘yung totoong ako. Dito ako masaya.

“O-oscar.” my Mother said in fear.

“Dad! You don’t have the right to do that to Yunnie!” Sigaw ko.

Hindi niya ako pinansin, napatingin ako sa kamao niya na mahigpit na nakayukom “Does your parents know about this, huh?!” he asked Yunnie “I can sue you” his voice is full of hate and disgust.

My sister is scared too, I know she wants to help us but she’s powerless, kahit siya ay kontralado nila, she can’t pursue her dream, dahil wala daw siyang mapapala sa pagiging interior designer kaya pinilit siyang tumulong sa kumpanya.

“Dad” nanghihinang tawag ko “matanda na ako, bakit hindi pa rin ako puwedeng mag disisyon para sa sarili ko? We’re both adults and we know what’s right from wrong.” I answered.

“Yunnie, let’s go.” Michandria, tried to get out Yunnie here.

“Michandria, I said get that woman out of here!” sigaw ni lolo at napapitlag si Yunnie sa lakas ng boses nito, they dragged Yunnie out of this place. Hinigpitan ko ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanya ngunit puwersahan siyang inilayo sa’kin.

“You don’t have any shame.” Panimula ng ama ko “you step in my house without my permission!” my father said to Yunnie, habang tinutulak ito ni ate at mama palabas ng bahay. 

“And you, my daughter,” he faced me and said to the daughter with sarcasm. His attention is on mine again. He looked at me as if I had committed an unforgivable sin.

He stepped close to me and I didn’t expect the next thing he did to me. “I don’t have a daughter like you! You’re disgusting to our family!” he slaps me. I can’t stop myself from crying. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses na niyang sinabi na isang akong kahihiyan sa pamilya namin.

“Bakit ba hindi mo ako matanggap!? This is who I am!” sumbat ko sa kanya. “this is the real m-me” I had been fighting, to be accepted for who I am. He slaps me again at tinignan niya ako na para bang nahihibang na ako.

“Tanggapin?” hindi makapaniwalang tanong niya “wala akong anak na kagaya mo! At ano na lang ang sasabihin ng ibang tao sa pamilya natin, huh?! Mga kagaya mo hindi katanggap-tanggap” ang gusto ko lang naman ay tanggapin at mahalin nila ako.

Humagulgol ako. Nakakapanghina, parang nawalan ako ng lakas dahil sa mga sinabi niya, puno ng pagkasuklam ang bawat salitang binibitawan niya. Ang hirap, ang hirap maging kakaiba sa mundong ito. Ang hirap magpaka-totoo.

“Kailan ka ba magtitino at susunod sa’kin huh?!” he grabs my hair.

“Kailan mo ako m-matatanggap?” tinatagan ko ang sarili ko na tumingin sa mga mata niya at ang tanging nakikita ko lang doon ay pagkamuhi saken.

Mas hinigpitan niya ang pagkakahawak sa buhok ko tila hindi hindi niya nagustuhan ang sinagot ko sa tanong niya.

Napadaing ako nang bigla niya akong hinila at kinadlakad sa stock room.

“You’ll stay here!” and he pushes me into the dark and dirty stockroom. As soon as he pushes me, he locks the door.

“Dad!!” kinalampag ko ang pintuan at sinubukan na buksan pero naka lock talaga. “Ayoko dito!” I cried hard and begged him to get me out of here.

“Tomorrow, my Attorney is coming, you will sign a paper. You’re going to marry the youngest son of Mendoza!” matigas na sabi niya at narinig ko na lang ang yapak niya paalis.

“Mom, get me out of here!” I shouted “I’m scared! get me out of here!” sigaw lang ako ng sigaw pero hindi nila ako pinapansin. “Dad, please” pagmamakaawa ko kahit na alam ko na umalis na siya.

“DAD! Please!”

“Hey, hey, Mia,” Ethan wakes up Mia, who’s having a nightmare. She’s bluffing about something he can’t understand. It seems she’s begging.

Ethan, shakes his shoulder trying to wake her up. They're going to the mansion, he’s about to wake her up pero naabutan niya itong umiiyak at nanginginig sa takot habang tulog, mahigpit ang pagkakahawak nito sa comforter na para bang takot na takot.

“D-d-dad. I do-don’t w-w-want-t.” Hindi niya maintindihan ang binubulong nito.

“Mia...” Ethan uses his force to wake her up, and he succeeds. Mia caught her breath.

“You’re dreaming” he caresses his back to calm her, and his eyes are worried. Mia looked so scared, and she hugged Ethan out of a sudden.

“It’s okay, I’m here,” pagpapakalma nito “don’t cry,” his voice is so soft. “don’t cry, hmm. I’m here; no one will hurt you,” he assured her. She hugs him tighter. His voice is so calm and soft. She likes hearing it, like a melody in her ears, and his hug is warm and welcoming; it feels like a home.

“C-Chan” she faced him and saw how worried he was; Chan was soft on her. “I’m scared” another set of tears rolled down her rosy cheeks, and Ethan softly removed them using his thumbs.

“As long as I am at your sides, no one can hurt you,” he assures.

Mia’s life has been messed up, and her family didn’t treat her right; they even forced her into a marriage with them, and thank God this man is soft and kind to her.

Hindi pa siya handa na malaman nito kung ano ba talaga siya, natatakot siya na kamuhian din siya nito kagaya ng kanyang pamilya, and worst, paano na lang kapag nalaman nito na she’s cheating behind his back. May kabit siya, may karelasyon siyang babae, hindi sila naghiwalay ni Yunnie. Ngayon pa lang ay guilty na siya.

I'm looking at Ethan packing our things.

“Seriously Ethan, saan ba talaga tayo pupunta?” I asked him. Alam ko na aalis kami ngayong araw, sinabihan niya ako kahapon pero wala siyang sinabi kung saan. “aren’t you busy? This is unplanned'' I asked again. His friends are too busy with their work and look at him we will go somewhere. I know it's Sunday pero kahit linggo nag ta-trabaho siya.

They rarely rest, and I do believe now that billionaires don't sleep.

He locks the zipper of our luggage.

“Tsk!” he answered and carried our things. I followed him downstairs.

I smiled crazy, he told me to pack my things but look, he’s the one who did it. Well, it’s his fault he doesn’t have patience; he knows how slow I am. I haven’t packed my things even though he told me to do it right away, but he gets irritated seeing me lying on the bed and voluntarily did it.

“Let's go.” He wore his sunglasses and it added to his appeal. No matter what he wears, it always looks good on him. His appeal was too strong. At saka matangos kasi ilong niya at maganda mga mata niya, kapag tinitignan ko mga ‘yon parang nag sha-shining, glimmering. Basta, parang kumikinang tapos, 'yung kilay niya na makapal at mahahabang pilik mata na sobrang bagay sa kanya.

Napahawak ako sa ilong ko na disappointed. Oo, disappointed ‘yung nose ko kasi hindi naman matangos. Tinignan ko ulit 'yung pointed nose niya. Kainggit naman. Sana all matangos ilong.

He tried to hold my hands, but I hid them in my back at ngumiti ng nakakaloko. He always holds my hands if ever he has the chance.

“Where are we going?” I followed him, and he opened the car door for me.

“Secret.” he winked. I got inside, and he turned to the other side “you love surprises, huh” I said when he got inside and started the engine.

He’s busy with his work, and if he gets free time, he’s treating me to a vacation. I love all the places he brought me to, and it's my first time going to those places. Like, Palawan, Singapore, Sicily, at marami pang iba. He never fails to surprise me.

“I miss you,” he said while looking into my eyes; his eyes were full of mixed emotions and I rolled my eyes at him. I crossed my arms under my chest “are you crazy?” we’re now on the road.

He fixes his sunglasses “you’re near yet to far” he coldly said. Nasa kalsada lang ang atensyon niya.

Hindi ko pinansin ang sinabi niya “where are we going?’ I asked for the ninth time, and finally, he answered me, “we’re going to the mansion. It’s Raffy's birthday,” he said plainly.

I focus my attention on the road. The whole trip, silence eats us; no one dares to talk.

When we got to the mansion, his sister greeted us with her wide smile, and her son was beside her. She kissed my cheeks, and I greeted Raffy's happy birthday. Happy na birthday pa.

“What happened to him?'' curious na tanong ni ate Ann nang lagpasan lang siya ni, Ethan. Sister Ann is their step sister.

“Does he sleep on the wrong sides of the bed?” Bulong niya sa’kin at may nakakalokong ngiti sa mga labi niya.

Tinawanan ko lang ang tanong niya “Hay naku, bakit hindi pa ako nasanay sa kapatid ko na dinaig pa ang babae sa pagiging moody” she giggles.

Si Ethan kasi iba-iba ang mood, ang bilis mag shift ng mood tapos ang hirap din basahin kung anong iniisip niya. Tulad kanina, nakikipag biruan siya sa’kin, ngayon naman hindi na mabiro sa pagkaseryoso.

I followed him into our room and saw him seriously fixing our things. I was about to approach him when brother Mark called us for lunch. I sighed.

We got to the dining table, and everyone was present and seated in their prospective seats; they were only waiting for us. Umupo na kami sa puwesto na nakalaan para sa’min and we sang a birthday song for Raffy and he cried. I adore this little man. He appreciates everyone.

“Ethan...” his grandfather called in his serious voice but didn’t dare to pay attention. I nudged him, but he just glared at me. He’s cute. I want to laugh at him. I find him cute.

“How are you?” tanong ng matanda habang seryoso ang tingin sa lalaking katabi ko na busy sa pagkain niya.

“I'm fine.” his brother Julius answered.

Brother Mark laughed “yeah, yeah.” he said while smirking.

“Ako, okay lang din ako” Uncle William said.

“Ako din,” Mark.

"Hindi naman kayo 'yung tinatanong bakit, kayo 'yung sumasagot?" Tanong ni ate, Ann. Nilalagyan niya nang pagkain ang plato ni, Raffy. Sana all maasikaso.

Tinignan ko ulit ang katabi ko na maganang kumain at tila may sariling mundo.

"Hindi naman sasagot 'yang magaling mong, apo" sabi ni Uncle William habang nakakunot noong nakatingin kay, Ethan.

"Ethan..." matigas na tawag ulit sa kanya ng matanda. Siniko ko siya at sinamaan niya ako ng tingin. Nginuso ko ang matanda at tinignan niya lang iyon na parang wala lang at, bumalik na sa pagkain.

Mark laughs again. Sana all happy.

"Kamusta naman ang pagiging surgeon mo, Uncle" baling sa kanya ni ate, Ann.

"I heard, you had three successful operation" baling sa kanya ng matanda. 'yan si Uncle William, ang surgeon sa pamilya.

Nakaka out of place naman. Welcome to the family of world of Doctor. In Tagalog, Mabuhay sa pamilyang, Doctor lahat ng miyembro ng pamilya, mula, sa matanda hanggang sa apo ay Doctor lahat.

"Wow naman! astig ka talaga, Uncle." Mark.

Nakaka out place, hindi naman ako Doctor, isa lang ako freelancer na photographer.

"Bakit hindi ka na lang nag surgeon, Ethan?" tanong ulit ng matanda sa kanya "I told you before, mag surgeon ka na lang instead of Pathologist"

Uminom ako ng water.

"I like to be Pathologist, why do you care?" aba, ang taray naman. Ang taray talaga nitong si, Ethan. Dinaig pa ako.

Bumalik na ulit siya sa pagkain niya.

Tumawa naman ng malakas si Mark "Boom! Panis ka du'n, Lo. Oh, ano, pustahan." nakakahawa naman ang tawa ni kuya Mark, natatawa 'din ako kaso nahihiya ako, ang seryoso kasi ng atmosphere. Tamang pigil lang ng tawa.

"Wala ka bang pera, Mark? palagi kang nakikipag pustahan." Natatawang sabi ni ate Ann.

"Wala ate, bakit? bibigyan mo ba ako?" pilyong ngumiti siya.

"Gusto mo ng water?" bulong ko kay, Ethan. He nod at me, kaya sinalinan ko ng tubig ang baso niya.

"Sapak gusto mo? Natalo na nga ako sa pustahan natin, mang buburaot ka pa sa'kin." Ann.

Sumabat si kuya Julius sa topic "Pathologist si actually good." inayos niya ang salamin sa mata "Specially, Pathologist is the popular specialty and, their knowledge is essentials for all Doctors." 'yan naman si kuya Julius, ang Dentist sa pamilya.

Pumalakpak si, Kuya Mark. "Wow naman! Daming alam, ah! Sana all malaman ang brain" ang seryoso kasi nila at, mabuti na lang nandito si kuya Mark para pagaanin ang atmosphere.

"Huwag ka ngang sabat ng sabat." Suway sa kanya ni ate Ann.

"Do you want fried chicken?" Dinig 'kong tanong niya sa kanyang anak.

"Are you, okay?" tanong sa akin ni, Ethan. Tumango lang ako sa kanya bilang sagot. "here try this" binigyan niya ako ng isang putahe sa plato ko. Putahe na may pagkakulay orange, parang marinade Beef pero, pang mayaman kaya, hindi marinade 'yon na basta-basta lang.

"Where's Nathan?" seryosong tanong ni kuya Julius.

"Oo nga, nasaan siya?" tanong din ni, ate Ann.

"Ayaw niya daw pumunta dahil piilitin na naman daw siya ni tanda na, gamitin 'yung profession niya" sagot ni kuya Mark. Hindi ko alam kung anong specialty ni, Nathan. Hindi naman niya kasi ginamit kung anong natapos niya. If I'm not mistaken, nasa mundo siya ng business. "Jokie" tumawa ito "pupunta daw siya later, may meeting yata siya or may inaasikaso. Something na ganu'n."

bumalinga ko kay Ethan at tinanong 'kung ano 'yung pangalan nung pinatikim niya sa'kIn, masarap, eh. "Ossubuco" seryosong sagot niya. Ano iyon? may ganu'n pala pangalan ng pagkain.

"Huh? Osso Buko?" hindi ko kasi maintindihan sinabi niya. He chuckled "Ossu-buco" Ah, Ossubuco. "anong spelling nu'n?" bulong ko sa kanya at lalo siyang natawa kaya napatingin silang lahat sa'min. Nailang naman ako.

Bigla ulit sumeryoso ang mukha niya nang tumingin lahat sila sa’min “just eat and stop asking” utos niya sa’kin kaya napanuso ako. Nagtatanong lang, eh. Sungit naman this boy.