XIII. I'm Sorry

Weeks passed, Unti-unting nawawala ang kirot na dala ng betrayal ni Drake. Nawala na rin ang echo ng scandal na sinimulan ng kanyang pinsan.   Trisha and Drake were both putting their relationship behind.  Kapag nagkikita sila sa Office, hindi pa rin sila nagpapansinan.  Mas mabuti na rin sa isip ni Trisha upang hindi na sila pag-usapan pa ng mga kasamahan sa trabaho.

Sa tingin ni Trisha nakakatulong din ang friendship ni Marsden para siya makalimot.  Palagi itong nangungumusta at siya rin dito.  Once in a while nagpapadala ito ng chocolates from Pixies which her friends really love to eat.  Ngayon nga may delivery nanaman siya from Pixies, one dozen of mini chocolate cupcakes na may chocolate frosting on top. 

“Oh my God Trisha, huwag mo munang sagutin si Marsden para may rasyon pa rin tayo from Pixies,”  saad ni Abby na sarap na sarap ang kain.  Nakaupo ito sa kanyang cubicle habang busy siya sa pagphotocopy ng kanyang reports for the meeting.

Natawa siya dito.  “Ano bang pinagsasabi mo,  ilang beses ko bang sasabihin na hindi ko siya manliligaw.   We’re friends and he’s just helping me moved on.  Chini-cheer niya lang ako that’s why nagpapadala siya ng chocolates.”

“Hmmm, sana more than friends.”  Tinapos na nito ang pagkain at bumalik na sa cubicle nito na katabi lang ni Trisha.

Marsden and I?  No no no no. Ngunit hindi niya maiwasang isipin na napakaswerte ng magiging girlfriend nito.

★★★

Nasa office si Marsden at busy sa pagbabasa ng reports ng kanilang branch in Davao nang tumunog ang kanyang cellphone.   Number lang ang nakalagay, pero dahil sa private phone niya tumatawag inakala niyang kaibigan niya ito. 

“Hello?”

Matagal ding walang sumasagot sa kabilang linya.  Ibababa na sana niya nang marinig ang boses na hindi niya inakalang maririnig muli.

“Hey!”  saad nito.

“Enrique?” he said after a while.

“Pwede ba tayong magkita?” nahinuha niya ang hesitasyon sa boses nito.

Ilang beses rin niyang inisip kung paano ang magiging pagkikita nila ng dating kaibigan.  Hindi niya inakalang tatawagan siya nito.  He wiped his hand over his face and sighed.  He thought it would be easy but as this day came he didn’t think he had already forgotten the betrayal. 

“I’m free tomorrow night.”

“Meet you at The Patios,” saad ni Enrique.

“Ok,” and he ended the call.

The Patios

Marsden entered the sophisticated bar and looked for his ex-bestfriend.  Enrique was in the counter, drinking already.  He watched him for a while before he went to him.   Without any expression in his face, he sat beside him and ordered a glass of brandy.

“You came?” he said without looking at him.

“Yup! It’s late, so why don’t you tell me what it is about,” sabay inom ng kanyang brandy.  Hindi rin niya alam kung ano ang sasabihin sa dating kaibigan.

Enrique chuckled.  “Just like a business deal huh.”  He now looked at him.

Marsden saw his glassy eyes.  It seemed he needed too much boast of courage just to face him.  “If its about the past, you should forget it...Let’s forget about it.”    He was sincere.  He might have not forgiven him entirely but he wanted to.  God knows how he wanted to but the pain is still there.

“I’m sorry,  I realized I haven’t told you those words five years ago.”  Enrique sounded sincere and looked at him with repenting eyes.

Iniiwas ni Marsden ang mga mata, itinuon niya ang atensyon sa pag-inom. He was a little bit shocked when he heard it.  Those words he longed to hear from this man.  Not hearing it before gave him doubts about the friendship they had for 10 years.  Pilit niyang pinipigilan ang galit na alam niyang hindi pa rin nawawala hanggang ngayon.  How he hated the fact that Enrique haven’t said sorry for what he did.

“Why are you saying it now?”  aniya.

 “I’ve realized my mistake and for five years I can’t forget what I did to you.  We’re very sorry.”

Marsden drank the remaining brandy and stand up but before he could leave Enrique stopped him.

“Im not asking you to forgive me.  I…I just wanted to say sorry.”

Without looking at him he went outside and drove somewhere to relax his nerves.  He drove out without any direction in mind.  When he stopped and looked around.  He found out where his mind led him.  He hopped out, uncertainly laid his back against the car door facing the apartment.  With a deep sigh, he made a call. 

“Hey! Can I come in?”

Biglang bumukas ang pinto ng apartment na nasa harapan ni Marsden.

“Hey!”  Gulat na saad ni Trisha.  Sandali siyang natigilan at nagmamadaling binuksan ang gate pagkatapos.  “Halika pasok ka.”

Napansin ni Marsden na nakapantulog na ito, he can’t help to  notice the long span of her legs uncovered by the sexy shorts. Iniiwas niya ang tingin dito and guiltily said, “Pasensya na sa disturbo, I just…” huminga siya ng malalim “…I just wanted some company.”

Walang kiming hinawakan ni Trisha ang kamay ni Marsden and led him to the living room.  Nang masilayan niya ito sa harapan ng apartment leaning in his car napansin niyang may iba sa aura nito.  He looked troubled kaya naman nagmamadali siya kaninang buksan ang gate.

“Diyan ka muna and I’ll open a beer, buti na lang at nakapaggrocery ako kanina,” saad niya habang kumukuha ng beer in can sa refrigerator.

Napangiti ito.  “Here I thought I just mistook you for a drunkard.”

She laughed and smilingly said, “Napagtanto ko masarap pa lang uminom paminsan-minsan.  So just call me if you wanted a drink.”

“Thank you.  I will surely do.”  Their eyes met and Trisha saw his troubled eyes.

When she came back at the living room, tumabi siya kay Marsden, binigay dito ang isang can at tahimik na ininom ang kanya.   She sit indian style and put a pillow over her legs for modesty sake.  Matiyaga siyang naghintay na ito mismo ang mag-open up kung anong problema nito.

Patuloy din ito sa pag-inom at tila malayo ang tanaw. After a while nagsalita ito.  “Im with a friend.”

“With an ex-friend actually,” dagdag nito.

“Anong nangyari?”

He told her what happened just a while ago at The Patios and hesitantly added what happened that started it all.

“I have a fiancè five years ago.  We were prepared for the wedding but it was postponed because my grandmother got sick and needed to stay at the hospital.  I’m the only family she’ve got left so I decided to stay with her.  Sometimes Amber also stayed but she didn’t liked the atmosphere in the hospital so I let…Enrique accompany her wherever she wanted to go, whatever she wanted to do.  He’s my bestfriend, It’s natural to trust him. But a day before the wedding, he told me he love her and he won’t let us marry.  We’re already at the rest house for God sake!” He weaved his hand through his hair.  She knew he’s uncomfortable to share the past but he needed to let it out.  “We threw punches, I was so angry. I was betrayed by the man I cared for like a brother.  We’re shouting when our friends saw us and broke us apart.  What’s more painful was when she went to him and ask him if he’s okay. His nose was bleeding but… I was her fiancè.  My anger blinded me that I didn’t saw anything else, just focused on the pain and I can barely breathe. The women were crying.  Elise slapped Amber and said how she hated her for not being honest.  They knew, they knew what she felt all along and yet they haven’t told me.  After staying with gram for a month, pretending I was not affected, I went to America and stayed there for five years.  I thought I have forgiven them…I want to forgive them, to forget.  I’ve wasted five years already and I missed everything I’d left behind.”  Habang ikwenikwento nito ang nakaraan, nakataw lamang ito sa malayo, maybe he was back into the past and seeing in front of him the scene that broke his heart.  “Meeting him again, opened up the wounds.”  He pinched the place between his eyebrows and sighed deeply.  ”I don’t know what to do or what to say so I left.”

Trisha was so stunned, she never expected the Marsden she knew, the Marsden who comforted her during her bad days was also a victim of betrayal.  She wanted to cry for him.  Clearly he was still trapped inside his pain and anger.   She can’t fathom the fact that he had faced it alone, in a far away land.  Looking at him now, namumuo ang mga luha sa gilid ng kanyang mga mata threatening to fall any moment.  Hindi niya alam ang gagawin, kung ano ang sasabihin.

He chuckled but without amusement in his eyes.  He sat up straight. 

Bago pa man niya mahinuha kung ano ang gagawin, niyakap niya ito.  Still sitting at the sofa.  She didn’t want him to see the pity in her eyes, he would hate it for sure.  So she composed herself while hugging him.  She hugged him on impulse, wanting to give him back the comfort he had given her at the storeroom.  Naramdaman niyang inilapat nito ang mga kamay sa kanyang likod and welcomed the hug.  She blushed and realized how embarassing her action was.  She let go and awkwardly smiled. “Thank you, for sharing your story.  I need to breathe.”  Huminga siya ng malalim.  ”I don’t know what to say.”

Marsden chuckled.  He was feeling at ease.  “Lending your ears are enough.  I think I just needed to share it with someone.”

“And thank you for the hug by the way.  It really helped.” He was teasing her with that lapsided grin but she knew he meant it.

“Tseh!” she laughingly pinched his side.  Mabuti naman at umaliwalas na ang mukha nito.

Habang tahimik si Marsden, iniisip ni Trisha kung bakit hindi pa rin nawawala ang galit sa puso nito.  Five years is quiet long to forgive.  “Do you love her still?” Tanong niya dito bago pa niya mapigilan ang kanyang curiousity.