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Chapter 44
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2024-10-29 19:42:56It's my fault, it's my fault.
It should have been me and not him.
The thoughts repeatedly play in my head as tears stream down my face. Tonight has been the worst night of my life and I wish, more then ever for someone to tell me that this is all a bad dream. That I'll wake up and he'll be fine.
All he wanted to do was to protect me but I couldn't do the same for him. I couldn't protect him. I couldn't protect my best friend.
He called out for me. Oh my gosh he called out for me and I should have answered, maybe then he would have stopped. This is all my fault.
"Hazel!" I jump off my chair when I see Sam and Avery coming my way.
I rush towards them, literally throwing myself to him and wrapping my arms around him.
" Hazel, hey hey are you okay?" I shake my head, burying my face in his shoulder.
I can't stop my bo
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BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 45
"No.""W-what?" I ask, frowning." That's what I mean, you are not going anywhere near my son." Mr O'Connor says."B-but I have the same blood type, I'm sure of this. I can save him." I try explain."My son is in there because he was busy trying to save you , so no, I wont let you go near him, or even see him for that mattet."" Nick, if she says that she is a match with Roman, then we should be jumping at the chance to save him. Everyone has been tested and no luck, she's our last hope. Come on, stop being so stubborn." Mrs O'Connor says in frustration."That boy hasn't returned yet so we don't know the results." He says, talking about Sam who's the last to go in."He wont be a match, I know this. I am the only one who is, he needs me, he needs me more so now then ever." I say desperately.He shakes his head no, already protesting.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 46
" Hazel, wake up......doctor!" I feel myself being shaken awake.I would have resisted, had it not been for the repeat call for the doctor. That's when I remember where I am and why I had been in here. For Roman.A moan slips out as I tiredly open my eyes and the first thing I see are Roman's hazel eyes. " Ha, thank God." He sighs in relief, his eyes closing for a moment.I blink up at him, confused by his actions."You're awake, you're awake." He repeats, burying his face in my hair.What's wrong with him all of a sudden?" Roman?" He leans back to look down at me, his eyes moving all over my face. I watch with a confused frown as he traces his finger along the side of my face as if trying to put it into memory." What's wrong?" I finally ask."You weren't waking up." " I was asleep Roman, I t
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 47
"Dad, please say something." I plead quietly.His eyes snap to me." I'm taking you home. For good this time." He says, jumping off the bed." Dad, come on I can't just leave!" I say incredulously, rising to my feet too." You almost died Hazel!!" He shouts with eyes wide." I know that dad. I was there!...B-but that's not what I want to hear right now. I need my dad. I need my dad!" I cry out, tears trailing down my face.His head drops, breathing hard." I failed you didnt I?""Dad." I quickly go over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against his chest.He quickly holds me tight as he releases a shaky breath." I almost lost you, I almost lost the last thing I have left to live for." He says with a shaky breath, causing a pinch in my chest." I'm sorry sweetheart, I'm s
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 48
Moving in with Roman, came with a deal. Dad made a deal, that if I were to move in with Roman, I had to attend therapy for atleast a month.Of course I agreed. I wanted more then anything to get out of the academy and to live elsewhere. It's not that dad didn't trust Roman or anything, but he wanted to ensure that I would be safe, as well as safe. To me, Roman was the word safe. I've always felt safe around Roman because I know that he would protect me as I would him. Protecting each other just became a natural thing for us, eversince we were young.With today being the day that I moved, I had everything packed and ready to go and was simply waiting for my dad to show up. I don't know how he managed to sort everything out so quick with the school, but he did and now in a few moments, I would be out of here.Avery was both saddened by the fact that she was losing a roommate but she was
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 49
3 weeks later......Winter break is approaching and already the change in weather has made itself known. Today is one of those really cold days and staying at home seems best.Gosh, my home.I still haven't gotten used to it. Roman and I are actually living together. It's been quite a busy couple of weeks I must say. We've had a number of visitors, mainly my dad, my friends, Roman's family which obviously means his stepmom and Rosy, since him and his dad aren't really talking. Well Roman not talking to his dad that is.And when it comes to his friends, lets just say I've been doing a pretty good job at avoiding them. After what had happened at the hospital, everything is still as thick as when we had that little stand off. Everything has been a little calmer, now that I am not living at the Academy
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 50
" Roman?" I blink twice, trying to make sense of why he would be here in my room, this early. More over watching me sleep."Hey."" Morning." I mumble, sitting upright.We look at each other for a while without saying a word. " How long have you been in here?" I ask, tucking my hair behind my ears." Not long. " " What's the matter?" I search his eyes and I sense him bothered somehow.A minute passes before he speaks up. "Your birthday is coming up soon." I look away from him. " Is that why you're in here, watching me like a creep." He doesn't answer." I don't celebrate it anymore." I say, turning to face him again. "Those days are gone now. It's just a day and nothing more." " Because of me?" " No." I say, getting out of bed. " It's because of what happened isn'
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 51
His name is Jacob, the guy who had returned my book to me.He is simply a cool, down to earth guy that I like talking to. We had coffee once when I was done with therapy, I had popped by the nearest coffee shop whilst waiting for Roman and he simply showed up. He had been around and I invited him over, just because I felt like it and I didn't regret my decision.Conversation flowed easily and I found myself laughing, he gave me a reason to not even glance around me. Because he couldn't stay long and had to be elsewhere, he couldn't meet Roman. I am actually glad about that because it turned out, that Roman had been in a bad mood. I feel bad for half listening to him vent that day, since I was still in that calm and good mood I received, in my time spent talking to Jacob.I wanted Roman to meet Jacob and I think he will like him. Jacob plays the piano and is in the band. He likes to read, just like I do. He makes me laugh a
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 52
He mentioned Roman and I was already agreeing.He took me to the coffee shop close by, which was a walk away and the only place I felt comfortable talking at. Thankfully he had an umbrella ready, so we didn't get wet. The coffee shop smelt like coffee, obviously, but the earthy colour theme with the dark floor, brown and creame white walls and a hint of orange here and there. The place screamed cozy and comfy, just what I liked.He chose the booth at the back with a window seat, sitting opposite me. A waitress came by and we both seemed to order our own different hot beverages and nothing more. I took a good look at him and one thing came to mind. He looks just like Roman." You wanted to talk about Roman." I speak up, not wanting to drown in the silence." Yes, Roman hates me." I blink at him, surprised by what he just said. " You don't have to say anything to that, we both know that it's true.
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BEGIN AGAIN Epilogue
Months later....I can't believe we finally did it, we graduated. I am more then ready to change the scenery and head on to college, with Roman ofcourse. He totally surprised me when he told me about how he'd had everything covered, before I could even start stressing about it. He literally begged that I let him have his way and darn it, I found myself agreeing before I could think about it, when he suddenly pouted, giving me innocent eyes and all.He can be so sneaky when he wants to.I finally left the Academy in good terms with the place, no longer was there fear or anxiety. I walked away with a smile, being in steady ground with some people. They have been a part of my story, a journey in which would honestly take us having a sit down, in order for me to retell.The life I have lived has been full of twists and turns, ups and downs and though at times, I felt like giving up
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 70
My dearest Hazel...By now you are a young woman, full of dreams and your heart still searching, for more to recieve. I do hope that by the time you read this letter, every bit of desire I had for your life, has come to pass. I hope that you are happy and in love. I hope that you are finally at that point in your life, where you know that your decisions matter, your voice matters.I hope that finally you and Roman have realised that you two, are soulmates.Maybe it's my wishful thinking but I see something there, something that is rare. As young as you two are, I see it and you two ending up together makes total sense, if you know what I mean.I hope that in whatever life has thrown at you, in every way, you must know that you will breathrough each hurdle that comes your way. I want you to know that it's okay to trust people, it's okay
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 69
I can't get his words out of my head, no matter how much I try. What he said, has brought so many thoughts into mind and those words, could only mean one thing, whatever it is, is important. His body language and tone suggested it and I can't think otherwise.I know that he has given me free reign over his phone, like I have done so too, but I just couldn't find myself checking his phone as if I am snooping around. I mean I trust Roman so much, it's bloody impossible for me not to.I can't go and straight out ask him, because that would mean I was eavesdropping. I didn't mean to overhear his private conversation, I just happened to hear, that's all. There are so many things I don't want do, that may come out wrong in his eyes. " Urgh, this is so exhausting!" I groan out." What's exhausting?" My head snap up in the direction of his voice, where he stands at the doorway.Before I can an
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 68
A moan slips out of his lips as I plant kisses along his skin. My focus is sorely on his neck and under his jaw. " Baby, what are you doing?" He asks, his sleepy voice making him sound so hot right now." Morning." I murmur in his ear before continuing with my assualt right where his weak spot is." Hazel." He groans, placing his hands on my waist, squeezing it and causing me to jump slightly.I lean back to look down at him." Will you wake up now?" A smirk plays on his lips whilst still keeping his eyes closed." Roman, look at me already." I whine." But I'm still sleepy." He says, trying to fight off a grin." No you're not. I'm here and that's more then enough reason to want to wake up." " Nope." I gape in disbelief of his answer. Fine, if he wants to sleep, then I'll leave him alone, damn O'
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 67
" Hazel?" I snap out of the trance I was just in, turning to look at my dad.His eyes show concern, even his approach towards me is slow and careful. I watch him silently as he sits on the coffee table, infront of me.We stare at each other for a moment, before he sighs, taking my hand in his own." This is the second time you've been up like this, in the middle of the night. You need to sleep sweetheart."" He wont talk to me. " I say numbly." Hazel...."" Roman wont talk to me, he wont answer my calls. I'm selfish aren't I?"" Hazel don't do this." I pull my hand away, cutting him off." I should feel different after having made this decision, but I'm not. " I rise to my feet. " Being here has made me realise that it's no longer just about me anymore."I walk away and head up to my room, feeling exhausted but not enough
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 66
I'm sorry.They are the words that my grandparents couldn't help but repeat too many times. It's been years since I'd last seen them and I thought I would never see them again. Tensions and disagreements were the cause of us seperating. After my mother's passing, nothing was the same again. My grandparents never saw eye to eye with my father again, both parties mourned differently. My grandparents thought it would be best for them to leave with me and raise me, whilst my father had time to mourn yet my father disagreed. He refused to let me go.The tension was too much and it was not good for either one of us. They suddenly left and communication thinned, until it was no more. Though it saddened me to lose out on contact with them, I accepted that I would never see them again. Years passed but now they are back, they want to mend our relationship and right, their wrongs.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 65
It truly hurt me to see my dad the way he was last night. The image is still stuck in my head. His words caused an ache to my heart. It hurts that my dad feels so hurt, the blame that he placed on his himself was not right.I don't want him to constantly blame himself, for what happened to me. It's not his fault. I want him to understand this. I have to set things right, I know I have to. Things cant go on like this, it's exhausting to go through this rollercoaster ride once again.It's like my family and I can't catch a break. We need a break from all this. It's my first morning being home, having woken up in my own bed and breathing homey air. It feels weird not waking up next to Roman or him, not being the first one I see. We are so used to being around each other, now only being a phone call away just feels different. Everything feels different but not too bad, though I miss him terribly but being
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 64
I could never catch a break.I thought I was done with hospitals already, now to find myself in here again, it tells a different story. I have woken up and Roman is the first person I see. His head is rested on my bed, his hand holding mine. I shift slightly and try pull my hand away but his grip tightens, refusing to let me go.I close my eyes and will myself not to cry. I am so exhausted emotionally and I feel like I can't deal with what happened to me and what, I had learnt not so long ago.I almost died again.I faced death but the difference is that I remember now. I thought I was done with the lies, I guess not. I knew that there would be people who did not like me, but for someone to hate me enough to kill me, that's a whole different level. I have had enough honestly and a part of me, wants me to quit on life but I know I can't. Roman, my dad, my family and friends wont allow me to.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 63 part 2
You stole everything from me.What does that even mean?" How can I steal something from you, when I don't even know you?......You're Roman's friend, no, you aren't anymore. " I shake my head." When Roman finds out about this, he will never forgive you. Never." I say, turning my back to them.I can't believe she would do this to me, to Roman. She is Kyle's partner in crime and she's been pretending to be a good person." Don't you dare turn your back on me Hazel!" She shouts." I can do what ever I f*ckin' want!..... You can't tell me what to do and who do you think you are to order me around huh?!" I say, glaring at her over my shoulder." Oh you'll be eating those words very soon you lil' b***!"" I'm sure I wont. Not when I'll be out of here in no time. Roman is coming for me." I say in confidence of my words.I turn b
