''Sometimes I sit alone in my room, not because I'm lonely but because I want to. I quite like it but too bad sitting by myself always leads to terrifying, self-destructive thoughts. When I'm about to do something, he calls. He is like my own personal superhero and he doesn't even know it. Now my superhero never calls and there is no one to help me, maybe I should get a new hero. What do you think?'' ''Why don't you be your own hero?'' I didn't want to be my own hero I just wanted my best friend, too bad that's all he'll ever be to me- a friend. Trigger Warning so read at your own risk.
Lihat lebih banyak''I have never felt so humiliated in my entire life. I stood in the middle of the stage with this huge bright light shining directly in my eyes. I had sweat dripping down my forehead and the whole auditorium was so quiet you could hear the toilet flush from across campus. Everyone was sitting there waiting for me to say something, anything. What was I to do or say? I just knew I blew my chances with the Juilliard scout, I just knew it. I wanted to just cry. Maybe if I cried enough it would wash out the whole auditorium, am I right? Thanks to Ms Fiddleson for mouthing the words to me, so I just carried on as if my skirt didn't just rip in half," I paused to take a sip of my water before I continued, "The performance went on fine after that but afterwards, Fiddleson gave me that look and I know that when I see her again she's going to throw a fit. The good news is that the scout came up to me and-,'' I stopped when I realised Zack wasn't focussed on anything I was saying.
''And then he shot me and, I died,'' I said, my tone flat.
My self-proclaimed best friend just nodded and made some sort of sound to let me know he was listening. Yeah, right.
''True story and then my twin took over my life, in fact, I'm the twin right now and, I'm on a mission to hunt down that Juilliard scout and kill him for killing my sister.''
''That's great. You've always lived an exciting life, anyways what's the deal with her?'' Zack asked me, his eyes not moving from someone that was behind me.
I sighed; I knew he wasn't going to listen to anything I had to say if his new love interest wasn't involved. So, to appease his curiosity, I glanced over my shoulder to see Mindy Louve. Mindy sat with her friends one seat over, she had her jet black hair in a ponytail straightened like a barbie doll. She was most likely wearing black jeans and a crop top, her signature style, but she was sitting and the pink bomber jacket she had on was obstructing my view. Mindy was an okay individual, she was on my gymnastics team but we never really talked a lot. From what I've heard though, she's nice.
''That's Mindy Louve. She's alright and, she does gymnastics. She's friends with Linda you know,'' I said to him turning back around.
Linda was one of the many girls Zack has dated in the past. Their relationship, however, ended very poorly, Linda ended up moving to a different school because she couldn't focus on anything but him and was going basically insane from it, that's what the rumours say at least. I wouldn't know, I try not to interact with Zack's conquests since most times they were threatened by my friendship with him.
As if I stood a chance with him.
''She's a gymnast, huh. They are very flexible people,'' he said finally meeting my eyes.
He had that Prince Charming smile that could make anyone crumble to their knees. Boy, I was crumbling, I've crumbled so much I doubt there was anything left.
Regardless of how dashing he was I still wanted to scream at him. I'm a gymnast! I'm a very good one who has won multiple medals. You've seen half my routines. Outwardly, I simply nodded because sometimes dealing with him is a hard task. By sometimes, I mean most times.
You're so pathetic.
To any person who didn't know Zack, even some who do know him, they would call him a playboy. Truthfully, he acted like one so it was justifiable but, he really wasn't. He just gets easily infatuated with girls, unfortunately, I was an exception. I've always wondered why Zack never really thought of me romantically. Maybe I wasn't what he wanted physically or mentally in a woman? No, that can't be it, most of the girls he goes after are in one of my after-school activities so we had the same interests. Plus, it wasn't like I was outrageous dumb either because I would occasionally be on the honour roll, not always though. Maybe I wasn't social enough? No, that can't be it, I was well known, not liked, but known. Maybe that was it, I wasn't liked by all and Zack was always a people person. It's not my fault, to be honest, I tried but, they were only interested in getting something from me.
''How should I approach her?'' he asked his eyes going back to her.
''I heard she's not doing well in Chemistry. You could offer to tutor her,'' I suggested against my better judgement and all common sense.
Sure, I was in love with him but I'm still his friend and friends help each other. I'm also hoping that when he gets with every girl he fancies, he'll experience whatever it is that he wants and fingers crossed he'll come back to me. The only problem I have with my poorly thought-out plan is that he gets so caught up with the new girl that he completely forgets I'm still alive. Honestly, that could be why I'm a part of so many clubs, to distract from the bitter loneliness and despair.
Dramatic much, geez. You truly are meant to be an actress.
''That could work, thanks,'' he said and got up to go win over Mindy.
That wouldn't be a very hard task, seeing as Zack was a very charismatic person or maybe that's my biased opinion.
I give it two weeks, I say to myself as I got up to go eat my lunch in the library. I don't need to hear the love of my life making another woman laugh.
I should get some friends, I tell myself. Oh, and stop talking to myself so much.
I added both things to my list.
I listened to Kiara crunching on the bright red apple she grabbed on her way out the door. My eyes quickly took in the neon yellow numbers on the dashboard. According to it, I did not have enough time to stop by Starbucks to get Kiara some breakfast. Of all days I did not have food stashed away in my car, this was the day. Usually, I had at least a granola bar, but when I took my cousins on a joyride the other day Charlie gobbled it up. I don't blame her, they were delicious. Unfortunately, I forgot to replenish my stock. I tried to recall if I had any snacks in my backpack. What about the pack of nuts? No, I ate them one morning when I had to rush out with food. You had a bar of chocolate, where did that go? Oh right, I gave it to Kayla when she was feeling lightheaded. I was truly out of options. I feel so bad. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Kiara would get extremely crabby without proper nourishment. Plus, she would not focus in class and she really needed to focus
I stood outside Kiara's house and just stared. I left earlier than usual to enact my plan. I was going to sneak into her house and make her a feel-better breakfast. If she felt like talking I would listen, if not then I would simply share a meal with one of the most important women in my life. Yet, I could not seem to get myself to move. I was scared. Scared that she would turn me away, just like that night. I was terrified that she would blame me, but nothing made my heart ache more than the thought of never seeing Kiara again. Before I could turn away, my cousin's voice resonated in my head. When she was leaving yesterday she told me such simple words, something you could easily get off the internet, yet coming from her it made sense. "Just be there for her. It may not seem like you're doing much, but it would mean the world to her," Just be there for her. I could do that. I was great at cooking. I would be there for her while providing delicious food. Food made everything bett
I put down my textbook, accepting defeat. There was just too much noise for me to study. Can't a guy relax with some chemical equations in his own home anymore? Where was the humanity? The consideration? The house was extra packed today because my mum's side of the family is in for a visit. Mum has a younger sister named Auntie Abby. Auntie Abby is amazing, she has always made me feel like a part of the family even though I was not related by blood. Auntie Abby has two daughters, twin girls who are just as nice as their mother. Uncle Patrick, Abby's husband, and I also got on since we both loved science. In fact, Uncle Patrick was a scientist and last I heard he was researching a new bacteria that was found frozen in the Arctic. "Where's our little cousin?" Bernie asked from outside my door. "You do realise that I am older than you right," I opened the door and welcomed the bear hug from both Bernie and Charlie. "Shut up," Charlie laughed. They always said they were the older
I looked back at my mum who sat on a bench to the side, naturally, she chose to be seated in the shade. She was texting someone on her phone. It should be anyone, but the one person I really hoped it was not was Uncle Lionel. My parents tried to hide what happened between them from me, but I hear things. Today was supposed to be a good day, I should focus only on good things. With that mentality, I turned towards the beauty. If all the girls at my new school were this pretty then I definitely would not mind moving. Initially, my dad lived close to his family which meant I got to visit my aunts and cousins whenever I wanted. They were the only ones who kept me company when Dad had to travel or be at the office until two in the morning. I also loved our old apartment. It was big enough for me, him and Roger, the dog. It was our only little cosy place. Before my dad got married, he told me that we would have to move somewhere else since the apartment was not big enough for all of us. I
I puffed out my cheek, using a finger I poked each one. In my head, I figured I looked exactly like a chipmunk so what better thing to do than chirp like one. I barely paid attention to my stepmum as she hushed my little brother. He cried a lot. He also slept a lot, but I figured if you spend half of the day screaming you'd spend the other half sleeping. My stepmum, who I call mum, says babies cry because they miss being around us. I do not think I believe her but babies did stop crying when you gave them atention so she could be right. "Hey honey. Are you excited to spend the day with your mother?" she sat beside me on the couch. Daniel's fat little arms reached up to grab her hair. The day he was born I felt so happy because I finally had someone who I could spend time with. My dad sad I'd have to wait a bit longer befoe I could actually spend time with him. "I guess. It'll be nice to see her again after four or so months. What time is she supposed to get here?" I held my brothe
"How long is the cake going to take?" I whined. The sweet scent of the cake permeated the house. This was not helping my craving. Kiara checked her imaginary watch, and with a look of concentration, she told me that the cake had ten minutes left. I had no reason to call her bluff. I would be satisfied as long as the cake was not burnt, I would eat it. After all, Kiara took time out of her day to bake a cake with me. Who was I to disregard her efforts? "Can you turn off the lights?" Kiki asked as she finished straightening the bedsheets. From where I was standing I could already see her pulling up the movie. It did not take long to find it since the page was already bookmarked on her laptop and mine. I turned off the lights as she requested and slid into my usual spot- on the left side of her bed. Within seconds her attention was glued to the opening scene. The very same scene we had seen so many times that I could rewrite the entire script from memory alone. I knew the exact sce
I gathered as many ingredients as I could while Kiara got the bowls and cake pan. I took a backseat while Kiara measured and mixed everything. There was something mesmerising about watching her move around the kitchen so naturally. For someone who did not like Maths and Chemistry, she did really well at creating recipes. I would suggest becoming a food scientist if she were not such a natural actress. "Am I going to need to add vanilla?" Kiara shouted over the sound of the pastel blue stand mixer I got her a few years ago. "What?" I called. "I know you heard me!" she jabbed me in the side with a spoon. "Yes, you are going to need to add vanilla," I smiled at her while she rolled her eyes at me. I dipped a finger into the batter after Kiki had mixed the flour and sugar with the other ingredients. I would risk salmonella any day just for some raw batter. Kiki, on the other hand, was cautious and complaining. She complained about the butter being too cold and the eggs not being warm
I wanted cake. Carrot cake to be specific. Actually, any cake would do. Perhaps it was because I was truly craving something sweet or perhaps it was because I was currently smelling Kiara's shampoo or it might have been one of the products she used religiously. It smelt sweet, yet I couldn't pinpoint exactly what I was smelling but I liked it. It reminded me of cake. I was about to angle my head so I could get another whiff of Kiara's hair when she spoke up. ''Why do you think we're friends?'' she started. She looked up at me with her beautiful big caramel-coloured eyes. She blinked her long dark lashes as she waited for my answer. I wonder if she could hear my heart race as she rested her head on my chest. I prayed my shirt could somehow muffle the sound. I glanced at her laptop which was playing a sitcom we found. I guess we both decided to use it as background noise. I thought about her question. We were friends because I fell in love with her the moment I saw her and wanted to
I glanced over at Kiara. Her eyes were closed. Her hand moved along to the beat of Alicia Keys. Did she know she was humming along? I doubt that she did. I have found that Kiara lacked awareness from time to time, I didn't mind nine times out of ten. I found it cute how she would sing louder at the parts she was sure of and mumble along to the parts she forgot. With Kiara's singing, my mind went back to what happened when I was dragged away that morning. I ended up missing the first session of the day. I would need to ask Kiara and the teacher for the notes because if I knew my best friend I knew she had mostly doodles with a sprinkling of words in her book. I locked the meeting room as Kiki and I watched towards our lockers. I tried to get her to talk about the game, but Kiara preferred to ignore things. That was one thing I wanted to change about her. Discussing what upsets you is a good thing, we don't have to do it the second a misfortune happens, but it needs to be done.Since
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