Chicken Sees a Salad

I stood outside of the school and watched as the fallen leaves blow across the car park. I wasn't interested in actually watching leaves change colour, it was merely a distraction. I was waiting for Zack so we could go home together. Today we were going by his house to watch a random movie. It was our tradition, every Thursday. 

Just as I resolved to go look for him inside the school, he texted me.

Zack: Sorry. I took Mindy home, her car wasn't working.

I did notice her car was still parked in its usual spot with its windows slightly cracked. I just assumed they were somewhere inside doing restricted things or different variations to that.

Truthfully, I was hurt emotionally and physically. I've been standing by the school's entrance for about an hour, my ankles felt swollen and my back pained. I learnt from a young age, though, to shake things off. What is huffing going to do? Are tears going to wash away my problems?

No, but it sure did help relieve stress.

I took a step towards the gate looking down at my fuzzy boots to avoid the non-existent judgemental eyes of passers-by. A brownish-orange leaf floated into my path and I decided to stomp on it, half to hear it crunch and a half to relieve some pent-up anger that I wasn't allowing myself to admit. Today, however, just wasn't my day because it didn't crunch. I've been disappointed a few times in my life but, this was just awful. Why is the world against me?

I kicked the leaf or at least tried to, all that happened was me rubbing the toe of my boot against the ground and face planting. Thank heavens the car park was basically empty at this point because I don't know what I would do if somebody started laughing at me. Probably fight them and lose despite having been taking boxing lessons for a while now.

''What did the leaf do to you?'' a voice asked as I lay on the ground too defeated to move.

Pushing myself up, I looked behind me to see a guy with blond hair parted down the middle with some dropping in his eyes. I know him, not personally, but I know his name. It's Kevin something or the other.

''It didn't crunch,'' I mumbled like a child, as I fixed myself into a criss-cross apple sauce position.

He looked down at me and nodded; his eyes showed how much he wanted to laugh.

''A crime punishable by death,'' he said seriously.

''It's not nice to make fun of people,'' I squinted at him.

This caused him to chuckle, ''I'm not making fun of you. I'm agreeing with you,'' he stated matter of factly.

''Sure, okay. Whatever you say, Kevin,''

He plopped down in front of me, copying my position. His hand stretched to reach for a leaf that blew by. Ripping small pieces from it, he asked me how I knew his name.

I felt my face heat up. No doubt he thinks I'm some creepy stalker.

''I work on the yearbook committee and, I remembered you,'' I tried to assure him.

I would be even more creeped out.

''It's just that I like your style and I tend to remember things I like,'' I tried to salvage my reputation.

He nodded. I wasn't sure if he accepted that but he didn't press the issue.

I really did like his style, it reminded me of e- boys that took over the internet. Today he was wearing a black thrasher shirt with a black and white striped long sleeve shirt that gave me Beetlejuice vibes. He paired it with black jeans and white vans.

Kevin stood and stretched out a hand to help me up.

''We should get going, it's going to be dark soon. Where are you heading?'' he asked brushing off his jeans as I pulled down my skirt.

''I'm going that way,'' I said as I pointed in the general direction of my house.

Sure he seems harmless, but I was not going to tell this guy where I lived.

''Me too. Is it okay if we walk together?''

I think he noticed my suspicion because he added, '' I just moved a neighbourhood over,''

I guess that made sense. We began heading home together.

''I like your style,'' I said as we walked.

He chuckled,'' You mentioned it, thanks by the way. We could go shopping together sometime if you want.''

I hated shopping, but going with him seemed kind of fun so I agreed.

..................................................

''Stop. Please...stop,'' I asked between breaths.

My sides and cheeks hurt from laughing. As it turns out Kevin was a joker, an expert at bad puns-my weakness.

He laughed,'' I have another. What do you call a chicken looking at a lettuce? Chicken sees a salad.'' he said before doubling over with laughter.

The joke was only slightly funny, but his laughter was so contagious you just had to laugh with him. Or at him, it wasn't too crystal clear. Without a doubt though, I was having a good time.

''Okay the last one, I promise. What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?'' he said after collecting himself.

''What?''

''I don't know and, I don't care,'' he said wheezing, out the last word.

We giggled until I realised that we arrived at my house. That was quicker than usual.

''This is me.''

''We should do this again, it was fun. I know my jokes are lame but, you're the first person to laugh at them if I'm honest.''

I smiled at him,'' They're not that bad and, yeah we should do this again.''

''Bye,'' he said,'' Have a good night,''

''Wait, take my number so you can text me,'' I said.

He handed over his phone and I quickly punched in my digits before I ran up to my door. From there I waved goodbye. He waved back before continuing to walk and, after trying to open the door, twice, it finally opened.

Unsurprisingly, the house was silent. There was a note on the table by the door where the keys were kept. I didn't need to read it to know that my dad was on another trip and my brother was with his girlfriend. Today was the day I was going to try my recipe, I even prepped everything the night before. I was disappointed.

Haven't you learnt to live with it by now?

I needed a shower and a good movie. After the day that I had, I wanted to treat myself. Just as I was about to get in the shower my phone rang. Zack.

''Hey, best friend,''

He was going to ask me for something.

''I know I bailed on you today with the whole movie tradition and not driving you home, but I also need to rain-check on your performance next week,''

''What?'' I asked my voice even.

I knew he knew I was hurt and upset. We've been best friends for the longest time, he knew my different tones.

''I know it's really terrible of me, but Mindy wants me to watch her practise next week.''

Practise? He was going to bail on my play to watch some girl, who he just met, practice? He told me hated doing that.

''You know how important this is to me right?'' he asked, hoping I would agree and understand.

''Okay,'' I said before hanging up.

I stood under the showerhead despite the steam that began to make me dizzy. I tried to block out the hurt and abandonment that I felt. This play was going to decide if I could go to London for spring break. He knew how much I wanted as much support as I could get, but he was flaking to go watch Mindy practise?

Why does this hurt so much?

I should be used to this, being thrown aside until I have a use. I willed myself to get rid of the negative thoughts clouding my head, but it only brought in anger. I didn't care he bailed on movie night, I kind of knew this would happen. I didn't even care that he left me in a car park, but this play was more than important, it was essential for my future. I practised my butt off from this, I even skipped my other clubs to rehearse. My brother and dad said they would be there, but I didn't hold them to it. I hoped my best friend would be there for me when they couldn't. I guess I was just deceiving myself. He always did things like this so I don't know why I'm so surprised. Sometimes I wonder why we were even friends. Maybe it was because we've known each other for so long so we felt the need to hold onto something that's died years ago.

Just because something is comfortable doesn't mean that it's necessary.

I got out of the shower when I couldn't take the heat anymore. I needed to stop stressing. My therapist said to let things go because holding on to too many things can kill me. To be fair, I don't think she has evidence of that, but who am I to reject the words of a professional?

Instead of weighing down my mood with dark thoughts, I decided to watch a movie and put on a face mask. The movie did little to distract me. Why was I never good enough? Not for my best friend, my dad, my brother and not for her.

Before I could delve deeper into my sad, messed up mind I received a message from an unknown number The person sent me a meme and, I just knew it was Kevin. That put a smile on my face, the first one since stepping into the cold, lonely house that I couldn't even call home. That night I slept dreaming of my budding friendship with Kevin, maybe life will turn out better for me in the end.