I stared at the screen not paying it much attention. Instead, my mind was hyper-focused on what had just happened. Was I reading into this too much? Probably. Zack was a very loyal guy so it was probably just a friendly peck on the head. Yeah, that's what it was, a friendly kiss on the head given to me by my best and only friend.
My best friend, damn my life.
You can say that again.
Zack's laughter brought me from my thoughts. As much as he would deny it, this was his favourite movie. Every time he was sad I would put it on and make him some macaroni and cheese with bacon, his favourite dish. I remember the first time we watched Shark Tale actually. It was his fourth birthday and he was not feeling very well so his mother suggested watching a movie instead of a big party like they normally did. For me, that day was special because it was the first time we spent his birthday together, just us. Alone. He was always popular, which meant when he had parties, he was constantly surrounded by people. He tended to forget about me until it was time to cut the cake.
''Zack?''
''Mhmm?'' he hummed tiredly
''Hi,''
He looked down at me, smiled then pulled me closer to him.
''Hi,'' he whispered and then went back to the movie.
One thing about Zack was that his room was colder than a polar bear's coochie and if I know anything about anything, it's that if it's cold you'll sleep better. That fact was proven true when within four or so minutes I was out like a light.
...................................
I had to pee.
It was warm and I had to pee.
I tried opening my eyes but it was working, I was just too tired. What time did I go to bed last night? I tried to go to bed around nine every night or I won't be able to function properly.
I decided to just feel my way to the bathroom instead-but when I tried to get up I was pulled back down. Not only that but the person holding me was squeezing my stomach which heightened the need for me to use the bathroom. I brought my hand up to try and unwrap the arms that encased me but the person that held me just grumbled and buried their head into the crook of my neck. Their breathing evened out and with each warm breath out a shiver ran down my spine. Their nose was slightly tickling the fine hairs on my neck, it made me want to laugh but I did not want to wake up whoever was cuddling me.
I did not freak out because I knew where I was, I just didn't know if it was Zack, Daniel or one of the twins. They sometimes snuck in when I came over. We would all sleep in Zack's bed until someone rolled off and woke the others.
I rubbed my eyes trying to get rid of the tiredness. When I finally had the strength to keep my eyes open, I slowly turned to see who was wrapped around me like a boa constrictor. Honestly, I wasn't surprised to see Zack. He was the definition of a clingy cuddle bug, at least he could be from time to time. Again I tried to remove myself from his grip without waking him up, again I failed.
Am I the only one who hates disturbing people? It doesn't matter if the purpose of that person was for me to ask for help, I hate inconveniencing people. So, I laid on the bed and felt the rise and fall of Zack's chest against my arm along with the soft breath against my neck. I really tried to wait but I had to go. I couldn't put off waking him up any more than I already had or we'd be in an awkward position.
''Zack,'' I whispered.
No response.
''Zack,'' I said again a little louder.
Still no response.
''I really didn't want to do this but you left me no choice,'' I cleared my throat and got closer to his ear, ''ZACK!''
I moved back just in time as he shot up eyes wide. He looked around frantically,'' What? What? What happened?''
''I have to use the bathroom,'' I said.
He was silent for a long time before he released me with a grumble. He turned over and probably went back to sleep.
''Sorry,'' I said as I got up and went to his en suite bathroom.
He mumbled some response.
I did my business and brushed my teeth, yes I kept a toothbrush here along with other stuff. I was here so often I'm surprised his stepmom hadn't given me a room for myself already.
I peeked out of the bathroom and he was leaning against the headboard. I hadn't realised he was shirtless until just then. Even though I saw him shirtless before, quite a bit too, it still never fails to leave me speechless. There was something about the way his smooth skin glowed and how the ridges of his defined abs made him look fit without being bulky. It was surreal.
He looked up at me and smiled. I swear I died and went to heaven. Being hopelessly in love sucks.
''I'm going to get breakfast,'' I told him.
He nodded and went past me to go into the bathroom.
''Save me some bacon, okay?'' he called out from across the closed door, his groggy voice straight out of a dream.
You have it so bad, it's disgusting.
I went to the kitchen; I really wished I had dinner last night.
''Good morning Kiara,'' Auntie Kris said as she cooked.
''Good morning Auntie Kris and Uncle Alex,'' I said politely
Uncle Alex said good morning but he didn't stop listening to whatever he was listening to.
(In case you haven't read Blind Date, Alex is Zack's dad and he's blind. It's on W*****d if you want to read it. Account:candy4baby)
''Do you need help?'' I asked as I sat at the kitchen island across from Uncle Alex.
''Sure, could you crack and beat those eggs for me please?''
I went to the fridge and then went in search of a big enough bowl.
''How are you darling? I can't wait to see your play next week,''
Auntie Kris was like a mother to me, she was always there to give me advice. She would take me shopping and to the spa at least once per year. She tried her best to always be at my performances, in fact, she would do my hair and take me to all my practises when my brother couldn't.
Back when he loved you.
''I'm doing fine. I'm so happy you'll be there. I'm a bit nervous because I really want to go on the trip,''
''Where are you going? Are you going to be safe?'' she worried as she turned to look at me before going back to frying bacon.
''Honey, she's almost seventeen. She'll be fine,'' Uncle Alex said in hopes of soothing his worried wife. ''If anybody does anything you let me know, I'll let them rot in the darkest deepest pits of hell.''
I could help but let out a laugh. I loved how they cared for me more than my parents.
''I promise no one will hurt me. They certainly can't with my knowledge of Karate,'' I imitated a chop.
''Mum, I'm hungry'' Daniel came into the kitchen wearing his Spiderman pyjamas.
''Say good morning because I know I taught you manners,'' she said sending him a glare.
He smiled sheepishly before he said good morning to everyone.
''Ooh bacon,'' Daniel said his eyes lit up as he saw the crispy fatty strip of joy. As he reached for it his mum smacked his hand causing him to pout. He sat beside his dad at the island with a sigh.
''Good morning my lovely parents, brother who apparently calls my best friend,'' Zack said as he walked into the kitchen.
''Honey scramble these eggs for me please,'' Auntie Kris said to him. ''Kiara darling toast these slices of bread for me, please. Daniel set the table sugar, thank you.''
We immediately went into action. No one disobeys Auntie Kris without getting the short end of the stick.
''Haha you have to work,'' Uncle Alex said as he laughed at us.
''Alex, go wake the twins,''
''Yes, ma'am,''
''What are you guys planning on doing today?'' Kris asked as she sliced some fruits.
''I don't know, I might hang out with Mindy if she's free,''
There was silence before Kris said ok
''What about you Kiara dear?''
''I have rehearsals until four so I'll be busy,''
''Oh yeah, I can't wait to see you on stage. I feel like when you go to Los Angeles I should go with you,''
''Why do you get to go?'' Zack asked as he raised his eyebrow.
''Because,'' Daniel said, dragging out the word,'' I help her memorise her lines,''
''When?''
''On the phone,''
''If you needed help why didn't you ask me?'' Zack asked me
''I don't know,''
I did know. He wouldn't focus. Besides he wasn't going so I wasn't going to perform for him.
''Fine,'' Zack grumbled moodily.
.................................
We sat down to eat breakfast. We talked about everything from Zack's new girlfriend to my brother and how he was doing.
Zack and I cleared the table and then we did the dishes.
''I can't wait to see you perform,''
''I thought Mindy was practising. I don't want to take away your time with her,''
''Nonsense, if anything I'll bring her along. Is that okay?''
I'm kind of glad he asked me, but it has put me in a bad position. I can't say I don't want her there. I don't want to be the bad guy.
''It's whatever,''
''You don't want her there, do you? It's ok I won't invite her,''
I was surprised and he could tell because he rolled his eyes and bumped me with his shoulder. I smiled at him and he pulled at my braid.
''Have you seen my phone by the way?'' he asked
''No, did you check under the bed?''
He shook his head and told me he would look there when we were finished.
When we were finished, I helped him look.
''I'll call you,''
''Good idea,''
I looked around, my phone was in my bag but where was my bag?
''I can't find my bag,'' I said slowly.
I was about to freak out because rehearsals start in an hour and I needed to get home to shower and change.
''MUM! HAVE YOU SEEN MY PHONE AND KIKI'S BAG?'' Zack screamed to his mum.
''NO!'' she screamed back.
''STOP SCREAMING!'' Daniel interjected.
''Zack I need to leave soon. I need my bag, you know I hate being late,''
''Everything is going to be okay, trust me'' he said holding me by the shoulders hoping to keep me calm.
''We'll check the kitchen, you can check the car,'' he devised a plan.
I nodded and went to the garage. I basically flipped the car upside down and I couldn't find any of our missing stuff unless the pink lace bra belonged to Zack but the size looked too small. I lifted it and inspected it. Who does this belong to? How long has it been here? You know what I don't even want to know.
''Did you find anything?''
''I don't think this will fit,'' I said showing him the bra.
He blushed and snatched it from me before he threw it back into his car.
''Come on,''
''I'm guessing you didn't find anything?''
He shook his head, I could feel the tears of frustration burn the back of my eyes.
''Hey, hey relax. I told you everything is going to be okay,''
''You keep saying that but we don't know that. Ms Fiddleson is strict, she'll have my head if I'm late. The last time someone was late she kicked them out of the production. I can't get fired,'' I said as I shook him.
''Trust me, we'll find it we just need to think,''
''That's what I've been doing, glad to have you on board now,'' I snapped
''Woah, chill dude,''
I was about to tell him where he could put his chill when Van and Nessa ran into the room giggling.
''Are you looking for something?'' Van asked cheekily with his slight lisp.
I narrowed my eyes and glanced over at Zack. He nodded his head slightly.
Grab them.
We ran after them as they sped out the room. They were fast and loud as they screamed and ran away.
They hid in their room. Bad idea on their part.
''Come out come out where ever you are,'' Zack said
''I don't think they're in here,'' I said rather loudly. This was followed by giggling coming from under Nessa's bed.
''Oh well,'' Zack said as he tiptoed to her bed.
''Gotcha,'' he said he snatched Van and when Nessa ran out I scooped her up.
''You will be punished,'' Zack said deepening his voice.
We tickled them laughing as they kicked and laughed.
''Will you tell us where you hid our stuff?'' I asked
''No,'' they said between laughter. I love them but the simultaneous talking was creepy.
I watch too many horror movies.
''Tell us and we'll stop,'' I sang
''No,''
''Tell us and we'll give you a slice of cake,'' Zack bribed.
''Cake?'' Nessa asked.
''Yup, I'll make it chocolate,''
''Okay, we'll tell you,''
We looked at them expectingly.
''It's in the closet,''
Sure enough, it was.
''You little sneaks,'' I said ticking them again.
''Oh shit, you need to hurry or you'll be late,''
I groaned,'' I need to shower,''
''Shower here,'' Zack said throwing a towel at me when we got back to his room.
''Hurry,'' he said when I closed the door.
Short story made shorter Zack's fast driving had us in front of the school five minutes early.
''Thanks, Zack,'' I said smiling
''Go get them best friend,'' he said, ''I'm proud of you,"
I smiled and waved as I watched Zack drive out of the school's car park. Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave. Truth be told I didn't have rehearsals today, well I did but it was not until later. For some reason, the other members of the drama club were busy during the day. I think that's what you call 'having a life' but, I could be wrong. The reason I told everyone that I needed to be at school was because I was ashamed to let them know that I go to therapy. I know I shouldn't be self-conscious that I was getting help. I was more ashamed of the fact that I needed help at all. I've always prided myself on being independent ever since I was young. During my first couple of sessions with Dr Marsha, we went over how okay it was to be self-aware and get assistance when you need it. In fact, she told me she went to therapy herself. I'm not sure if it was to help me feel more comfortable around her or to show that not everyone had perfect mental health. Regardless, it meant nothing
I've been seeing Dr Marsha for a while, her diploma-decorated office walls and the uncomfortable blue couch were so familiar I could draw them in my sleep. There was always the smell of floral Lysol floor cleaners that stuck around even hours after the cleaning lady left. The fake potted palm was in the same place as always- obnoxiously in my space. I swear it gets closer and closer with each visit. Said visits have been going on for over three years and, every time without fail, she would ask me the same question whenever she seems me 'How was your day?' Sometimes when she is feeling spicy she will ask me 'How are you doing?' Honestly, they were the same question. I wonder if she preplans which question or if it's just a spur-of-the-moment type of thing? Nothing with Dr Marsha felt random so it was likely planned. Today she decided to ask me how my day was going. For the first time, I said something besides fine; I finally had something worth saying. ''My brother and I talked tod
I stared at Lucas with tears that unfocused my vision. I don't think I've ever been so relieved to see someone in my house before. Granted, he had a right to be there but, you get the picture. ''You should have told me you were buying. I would have saved my money. In fact, I should be the one to buy since I came up with the idea or at least I think so. You know what it doesn't even matter, I'll put it in the fridge and no you can't have it for breakfast tomorrow,'' Lucas rambled while I continued to stare and smile. ''Okay, what's up with you? Why are you smiling so much and, will you stop staring? It's creeping me out,'' he mentioned as he looked at me weirdly after placing the food he bought in the fridge. I hugged him tightly. I guess I still had my reservations about him actually being there for me. I wasn't sure if this was going to be a one-off situation or if it was going to be forever. I wanted to ask, but I kept quiet. I was afraid that I would scare him into changing his
When World War Three did not break out immediately, I cautiously walked to the living room. I found Zack with his arms crossed as he sat on the couch; he looked very, very upset. Kevin was there with slightly widened and panicked eyes. He looked like he didn't know what to do or what was going on. ''Um Zack hey, whatcha doing here?'' I asked as I stood in front of him. ''I saw on his story that you were having a party, so I decided to come over since my invitation seemed to have gotten lost,'' he said. ''There isn't and, there won't be a party. Sorry to disappoint but you can go home now,'' I said. Zack looked at me with furrowed brows, ''Why do you want me to leave so badly? Since when do you question why I come over? You're MY best friend, remember? We always visit each other unannounced,'' ''Yes I know that, but I'm hanging out with Kevin right now. You do know I'm allowed to talk to other people, right?'' He rolled his eyes,'' I know that,'' he pouted. I sighed. I knew I was
My gaze flitted between Lucas and Zack as they glared at each other from across the dining table. I swear I saw dark clouds and lightning flashing in the background. I was surprised I didn't hear a deep voice shout 'Fight!'. Who knew I had such melodramatic people in my life? I thought I was the actress in the group. ''Do you plan to keep making eyes at each other for the rest of breakfast or...'' I trailed off. Both gasped and sputtered as if they just swallowed a huge gulp of salt water. Their faces looked like it too. They were once again trying to take my role as the actress in the group. ''Look, I don't get why you both don't like each other. I mean you guys like me so, you already have something in common. I don't see the problem,'' I said between bites of my 'crispy' pancake. ''He abandoned you for twelve years and then just waltz back into your life like it never happened. That's ridiculous,'' I'm sure it wasn't twelve years. I was about to say something that would def
''Oh, sorry about that. Lucas, this is Zoa and Kevin. Guys, this is my dear older brother Lucas,'' I introduced them to each other. They exchanged greetings while I dug in the food Lucas bought for me. A jumbo hot dog and iced tea. It was pretty good, minus the icky relish he didn't ask them to leave off. The tea was also too sweet and the hot dog was not warm enough. Perhaps I was just trying to find fault in the food so I could justify my bad mood. That was a thought I didn't want to get into so I tried to focus on the rest of the game. Everyone seemed to be really interested in it. ''They are so annoying. Do they ever shut the fuck up?'' Zoa said to me as she sipped her iced coffee. I thought it was odd to drink coffee at nearly 11 at night, but I was drinking black tea so, I wasn't going to call the kettle black. I laughed and nodded,'' All they do is yap on and on and on. They make chihuahuas seem like librarians,'' The game ended so we decided to get more food since the gam
''I don't think we should do that,'' Kayla said as she gnawed at her, no doubt flavourless, gum. She did so quite loudly might I add. It has been irritating me for the last ten minutes, yet I said nothing. I'm holding out hope that it'll just fly down her throat or she'll chomp down on her tongue instead. Either option works for me honestly; I wasn't picky. ''Why not?'' I asked. I had my face in my hands and no life left in my being. I was just waiting for someone to end my misery because I was beyond done with her and everyone in this dumb council room. ''It sounds boring,'' ''Well, what do you suggest?'' I put on my best girl scouts on icing sugar voice. We were trying to find a theme for the dance this year. Everything, and I mean everything, I suggested Kayla denied. I'm not sure why she has a say, but I guess her sleeping with Zack gives her the power to do that. It was unconstitutional if you ask me. Sleeping with Zack is something you'll never know about. How sad. Sh
I often wondered why Zack and I became friends. That thought would lead me to wonder how we stayed friends for so long. Sure we were similar, but we were also very very different. Zack was naturally charming and well-liked, he was a huge fan of tomatoes and pickles on the other hand I was an awkward, unfriendly people-hating tomato avoiding, pickle despising person. It didn't take someone with two brain cells to see how different we are yet we've been friends since the very beginning of time. I'm convinced we were friends in a past life as well. ''Why do you think we're friends?'' I asked Zack as I rested my head against his chest. We were in my room just enjoying each other's company while my laptop played some random sitcom in the background. ''I don't know. They say opposites attract so it might be that,'' he shrugged not giving my question much thought. ''Don't they say that about couples?'' ''I don't think so. I'm pretty sure it's just for people who are opposite but are att
I listened to Kiara crunching on the bright red apple she grabbed on her way out the door. My eyes quickly took in the neon yellow numbers on the dashboard. According to it, I did not have enough time to stop by Starbucks to get Kiara some breakfast. Of all days I did not have food stashed away in my car, this was the day. Usually, I had at least a granola bar, but when I took my cousins on a joyride the other day Charlie gobbled it up. I don't blame her, they were delicious. Unfortunately, I forgot to replenish my stock. I tried to recall if I had any snacks in my backpack. What about the pack of nuts? No, I ate them one morning when I had to rush out with food. You had a bar of chocolate, where did that go? Oh right, I gave it to Kayla when she was feeling lightheaded. I was truly out of options. I feel so bad. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Kiara would get extremely crabby without proper nourishment. Plus, she would not focus in class and she really needed to focus
I stood outside Kiara's house and just stared. I left earlier than usual to enact my plan. I was going to sneak into her house and make her a feel-better breakfast. If she felt like talking I would listen, if not then I would simply share a meal with one of the most important women in my life. Yet, I could not seem to get myself to move. I was scared. Scared that she would turn me away, just like that night. I was terrified that she would blame me, but nothing made my heart ache more than the thought of never seeing Kiara again. Before I could turn away, my cousin's voice resonated in my head. When she was leaving yesterday she told me such simple words, something you could easily get off the internet, yet coming from her it made sense. "Just be there for her. It may not seem like you're doing much, but it would mean the world to her," Just be there for her. I could do that. I was great at cooking. I would be there for her while providing delicious food. Food made everything bett
I put down my textbook, accepting defeat. There was just too much noise for me to study. Can't a guy relax with some chemical equations in his own home anymore? Where was the humanity? The consideration? The house was extra packed today because my mum's side of the family is in for a visit. Mum has a younger sister named Auntie Abby. Auntie Abby is amazing, she has always made me feel like a part of the family even though I was not related by blood. Auntie Abby has two daughters, twin girls who are just as nice as their mother. Uncle Patrick, Abby's husband, and I also got on since we both loved science. In fact, Uncle Patrick was a scientist and last I heard he was researching a new bacteria that was found frozen in the Arctic. "Where's our little cousin?" Bernie asked from outside my door. "You do realise that I am older than you right," I opened the door and welcomed the bear hug from both Bernie and Charlie. "Shut up," Charlie laughed. They always said they were the older
I looked back at my mum who sat on a bench to the side, naturally, she chose to be seated in the shade. She was texting someone on her phone. It should be anyone, but the one person I really hoped it was not was Uncle Lionel. My parents tried to hide what happened between them from me, but I hear things. Today was supposed to be a good day, I should focus only on good things. With that mentality, I turned towards the beauty. If all the girls at my new school were this pretty then I definitely would not mind moving. Initially, my dad lived close to his family which meant I got to visit my aunts and cousins whenever I wanted. They were the only ones who kept me company when Dad had to travel or be at the office until two in the morning. I also loved our old apartment. It was big enough for me, him and Roger, the dog. It was our only little cosy place. Before my dad got married, he told me that we would have to move somewhere else since the apartment was not big enough for all of us. I
I puffed out my cheek, using a finger I poked each one. In my head, I figured I looked exactly like a chipmunk so what better thing to do than chirp like one. I barely paid attention to my stepmum as she hushed my little brother. He cried a lot. He also slept a lot, but I figured if you spend half of the day screaming you'd spend the other half sleeping. My stepmum, who I call mum, says babies cry because they miss being around us. I do not think I believe her but babies did stop crying when you gave them atention so she could be right. "Hey honey. Are you excited to spend the day with your mother?" she sat beside me on the couch. Daniel's fat little arms reached up to grab her hair. The day he was born I felt so happy because I finally had someone who I could spend time with. My dad sad I'd have to wait a bit longer befoe I could actually spend time with him. "I guess. It'll be nice to see her again after four or so months. What time is she supposed to get here?" I held my brothe
"How long is the cake going to take?" I whined. The sweet scent of the cake permeated the house. This was not helping my craving. Kiara checked her imaginary watch, and with a look of concentration, she told me that the cake had ten minutes left. I had no reason to call her bluff. I would be satisfied as long as the cake was not burnt, I would eat it. After all, Kiara took time out of her day to bake a cake with me. Who was I to disregard her efforts? "Can you turn off the lights?" Kiki asked as she finished straightening the bedsheets. From where I was standing I could already see her pulling up the movie. It did not take long to find it since the page was already bookmarked on her laptop and mine. I turned off the lights as she requested and slid into my usual spot- on the left side of her bed. Within seconds her attention was glued to the opening scene. The very same scene we had seen so many times that I could rewrite the entire script from memory alone. I knew the exact sce
I gathered as many ingredients as I could while Kiara got the bowls and cake pan. I took a backseat while Kiara measured and mixed everything. There was something mesmerising about watching her move around the kitchen so naturally. For someone who did not like Maths and Chemistry, she did really well at creating recipes. I would suggest becoming a food scientist if she were not such a natural actress. "Am I going to need to add vanilla?" Kiara shouted over the sound of the pastel blue stand mixer I got her a few years ago. "What?" I called. "I know you heard me!" she jabbed me in the side with a spoon. "Yes, you are going to need to add vanilla," I smiled at her while she rolled her eyes at me. I dipped a finger into the batter after Kiki had mixed the flour and sugar with the other ingredients. I would risk salmonella any day just for some raw batter. Kiki, on the other hand, was cautious and complaining. She complained about the butter being too cold and the eggs not being warm
I wanted cake. Carrot cake to be specific. Actually, any cake would do. Perhaps it was because I was truly craving something sweet or perhaps it was because I was currently smelling Kiara's shampoo or it might have been one of the products she used religiously. It smelt sweet, yet I couldn't pinpoint exactly what I was smelling but I liked it. It reminded me of cake. I was about to angle my head so I could get another whiff of Kiara's hair when she spoke up. ''Why do you think we're friends?'' she started. She looked up at me with her beautiful big caramel-coloured eyes. She blinked her long dark lashes as she waited for my answer. I wonder if she could hear my heart race as she rested her head on my chest. I prayed my shirt could somehow muffle the sound. I glanced at her laptop which was playing a sitcom we found. I guess we both decided to use it as background noise. I thought about her question. We were friends because I fell in love with her the moment I saw her and wanted to
I glanced over at Kiara. Her eyes were closed. Her hand moved along to the beat of Alicia Keys. Did she know she was humming along? I doubt that she did. I have found that Kiara lacked awareness from time to time, I didn't mind nine times out of ten. I found it cute how she would sing louder at the parts she was sure of and mumble along to the parts she forgot. With Kiara's singing, my mind went back to what happened when I was dragged away that morning. I ended up missing the first session of the day. I would need to ask Kiara and the teacher for the notes because if I knew my best friend I knew she had mostly doodles with a sprinkling of words in her book. I locked the meeting room as Kiki and I watched towards our lockers. I tried to get her to talk about the game, but Kiara preferred to ignore things. That was one thing I wanted to change about her. Discussing what upsets you is a good thing, we don't have to do it the second a misfortune happens, but it needs to be done.Since