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Chapter 51
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2024-10-29 19:42:56His name is Jacob, the guy who had returned my book to me.
He is simply a cool, down to earth guy that I like talking to. We had coffee once when I was done with therapy, I had popped by the nearest coffee shop whilst waiting for Roman and he simply showed up. He had been around and I invited him over, just because I felt like it and I didn't regret my decision.
Conversation flowed easily and I found myself laughing, he gave me a reason to not even glance around me. Because he couldn't stay long and had to be elsewhere, he couldn't meet Roman. I am actually glad about that because it turned out, that Roman had been in a bad mood. I feel bad for half listening to him vent that day, since I was still in that calm and good mood I received, in my time spent talking to Jacob.
I wanted Roman to meet Jacob and I think he will like him. Jacob plays the piano and is in the band. He likes to read, just like I do. He makes me laugh a
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BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 52
He mentioned Roman and I was already agreeing.He took me to the coffee shop close by, which was a walk away and the only place I felt comfortable talking at. Thankfully he had an umbrella ready, so we didn't get wet. The coffee shop smelt like coffee, obviously, but the earthy colour theme with the dark floor, brown and creame white walls and a hint of orange here and there. The place screamed cozy and comfy, just what I liked.He chose the booth at the back with a window seat, sitting opposite me. A waitress came by and we both seemed to order our own different hot beverages and nothing more. I took a good look at him and one thing came to mind. He looks just like Roman." You wanted to talk about Roman." I speak up, not wanting to drown in the silence." Yes, Roman hates me." I blink at him, surprised by what he just said. " You don't have to say anything to that, we both know that it's true.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 53
I woke up all sweaty and with my heart racing. I had a bad dream. It's the same one that seems to visit me right around this time of year. I wish it would leave me alone but it's more of a haunting memory turned bad dream. I tried to forget, I tried really hard but each time the day comes, my birthday comes, it feels like I am taken back to that dark place.The same where I was a prisoner in my own skin.I sigh, pushing back my hair away from my face. It's still in the early morning and checking my phone for the time, I see that I have an hour or so before my alarm goes off. Getting out of bed and needing something to keep my mind distracted, I get out of my room and head downstairs.My stomach starts to grumble in hunger and I remember that I didn't exactly eat, before going to bed. Might as well make myself something to eat. I decide on making myself a bowl
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 54
I kissed my best friend and I l-liked it. Oh my gosh, I'm so horrible." Hazel, open the door please!" Roman calls from the other side of the door as he knocks.I don't answer, still trying to come into grips with what just happened downstairs." Come on baby please, open the door!" He called me ' baby'. Oh my, I'm really dreaming right now." Hazel -" " I kissed you Roman!....Oh my gosh I took advantage of my best friend!" I gasp as my words sink in." What the fu - no Hazel you did not. I kissed you first and you know what, I want to do it again!" My eyes widen at his admittance.He would?.A few seconds pass before I turn around and unlock the door, opening it slowly and nervously. I hear him come in and I don't dare look at him, until I close the door.I quickly glance at him
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 55
I have never laughed and smiled as much as I do, in a short space of time, like I've done being around Roman. It's only been hours and never a full day since he confessed his feelings to me. I've lost count of the many times in which he's stolen kisses. He can be quite sneaky when he wants to. Either way, I like it and I feel strongly about everything. Though hours in but like I had said, things feel natural and good.It was a good idea to skip school today because then I would have missed all this. And even if I went to school, I'd be bored out of my mind. So staying home was best. We had spent most of our day cuddling, eating, making out, binge watching on movies and just enjoying each others company.We had eventually fallen asleep on the couch, whilst watching a movie. Having woken up first after hours, I had found myself just watching him sleep. It truly was a pleasure, to see him so relaxed, so at peace and damn
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 56
" Lets go Sweet." Roman whispers in my ear.I glance at Danny for a second before nodding, Roman doesn't need anymore signs, he takes my hand and drags me to his car. Sam and Avery follow us. I don't even glance behind me like I used to, whenever I would walk away with Danny, walking away from Roman.There was always that feeling of leaving something important behind at that time, but now things are different andI'm only looking forward." We'll see each other on Monday." Avery says when we finally reach Roman's car, pulling me in for a hug. " And don't you dare skip." She playfully warns me.I nod, smiling at her.I walk over to Sam and hug him goodbye." Finally." He says in my ear, making me to pull back and to look at him.I give him a questioning look but he just smiles at me, stepping back.I don't say anything but wave at them, before getting i
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 57
A few minutes have passed and he hasn't said anything yet. His body has gone rock solid and I'm afraid, that he might not be breathing." R-Roman, please say something." I whisper out.I feel desperate for him to say something, anything." What happened?" I take a breath before confessing." It was my 11th birthday and my family decided to surprise me. They didn't want me depressing over you leaving anymore. They hosted the party at aunt Karen's house and the theme was a masked party. We were playing hide and seek when it happened." I trail off. " I thought the shed would be a good place for me to hide, but I was wrong. I stepped in there and I was only there for a short while, but it was enough for someone to grab me from behind. I had no idea that someone had been in there, I swear." I stop short when I hear him breathing hard." I struggled against
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 58
I lay my head on my mother's lap, her hand patting my hair. It feels so nice and I just want to stay in this moment. I want to remain in my mother's comfort.I've missed her and I've missed this feeling. Everything feels so calm with her close to me and I never want her, to seperate from me. I never want to leave this place. I can breathe easily and I don't have to face the hurt anymore. I'm tired of hurting.It pains to hurt." Can I stay here with you mom?" I ask." If you want to." I smile at that.But then Roman comes into mind and my smile slips off my face. I frown a bit." B-but what about Roman, I can't leave him." She doesn't say anything." Mom?" I take my head off her lap and sit up, facing her.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 59
I have never been a fan of noise when I am sleeping. I just want some peace and quiet and I am not getting any of that right now. I hear my name repeatedly being called, but I have no desire to wake up. I'm tired and I need rest." Hazel, Hazel wake up!" Roman?That voice, it surely sounded like his." Hazel, come on wake up. You need to wake up." The voice sounds desperate and still like Roman's.I must be dreaming that's for sure, because as far as I know, Roman left." Come on Sweet. Don't do this to me, don't do this to us. " Only Roman calls me Sweet. Yes, definetly that is Roman. But why would he beg for me to not do something to him and us?What does he mean by that?... I haven't done nothing else but sleep. I feel my body suddenly being shaken up and Roman continuously begging for me to wake up. Hearing hi
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BEGIN AGAIN Epilogue
Months later....I can't believe we finally did it, we graduated. I am more then ready to change the scenery and head on to college, with Roman ofcourse. He totally surprised me when he told me about how he'd had everything covered, before I could even start stressing about it. He literally begged that I let him have his way and darn it, I found myself agreeing before I could think about it, when he suddenly pouted, giving me innocent eyes and all.He can be so sneaky when he wants to.I finally left the Academy in good terms with the place, no longer was there fear or anxiety. I walked away with a smile, being in steady ground with some people. They have been a part of my story, a journey in which would honestly take us having a sit down, in order for me to retell.The life I have lived has been full of twists and turns, ups and downs and though at times, I felt like giving up
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 70
My dearest Hazel...By now you are a young woman, full of dreams and your heart still searching, for more to recieve. I do hope that by the time you read this letter, every bit of desire I had for your life, has come to pass. I hope that you are happy and in love. I hope that you are finally at that point in your life, where you know that your decisions matter, your voice matters.I hope that finally you and Roman have realised that you two, are soulmates.Maybe it's my wishful thinking but I see something there, something that is rare. As young as you two are, I see it and you two ending up together makes total sense, if you know what I mean.I hope that in whatever life has thrown at you, in every way, you must know that you will breathrough each hurdle that comes your way. I want you to know that it's okay to trust people, it's okay
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 69
I can't get his words out of my head, no matter how much I try. What he said, has brought so many thoughts into mind and those words, could only mean one thing, whatever it is, is important. His body language and tone suggested it and I can't think otherwise.I know that he has given me free reign over his phone, like I have done so too, but I just couldn't find myself checking his phone as if I am snooping around. I mean I trust Roman so much, it's bloody impossible for me not to.I can't go and straight out ask him, because that would mean I was eavesdropping. I didn't mean to overhear his private conversation, I just happened to hear, that's all. There are so many things I don't want do, that may come out wrong in his eyes. " Urgh, this is so exhausting!" I groan out." What's exhausting?" My head snap up in the direction of his voice, where he stands at the doorway.Before I can an
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 68
A moan slips out of his lips as I plant kisses along his skin. My focus is sorely on his neck and under his jaw. " Baby, what are you doing?" He asks, his sleepy voice making him sound so hot right now." Morning." I murmur in his ear before continuing with my assualt right where his weak spot is." Hazel." He groans, placing his hands on my waist, squeezing it and causing me to jump slightly.I lean back to look down at him." Will you wake up now?" A smirk plays on his lips whilst still keeping his eyes closed." Roman, look at me already." I whine." But I'm still sleepy." He says, trying to fight off a grin." No you're not. I'm here and that's more then enough reason to want to wake up." " Nope." I gape in disbelief of his answer. Fine, if he wants to sleep, then I'll leave him alone, damn O'
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 67
" Hazel?" I snap out of the trance I was just in, turning to look at my dad.His eyes show concern, even his approach towards me is slow and careful. I watch him silently as he sits on the coffee table, infront of me.We stare at each other for a moment, before he sighs, taking my hand in his own." This is the second time you've been up like this, in the middle of the night. You need to sleep sweetheart."" He wont talk to me. " I say numbly." Hazel...."" Roman wont talk to me, he wont answer my calls. I'm selfish aren't I?"" Hazel don't do this." I pull my hand away, cutting him off." I should feel different after having made this decision, but I'm not. " I rise to my feet. " Being here has made me realise that it's no longer just about me anymore."I walk away and head up to my room, feeling exhausted but not enough
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 66
I'm sorry.They are the words that my grandparents couldn't help but repeat too many times. It's been years since I'd last seen them and I thought I would never see them again. Tensions and disagreements were the cause of us seperating. After my mother's passing, nothing was the same again. My grandparents never saw eye to eye with my father again, both parties mourned differently. My grandparents thought it would be best for them to leave with me and raise me, whilst my father had time to mourn yet my father disagreed. He refused to let me go.The tension was too much and it was not good for either one of us. They suddenly left and communication thinned, until it was no more. Though it saddened me to lose out on contact with them, I accepted that I would never see them again. Years passed but now they are back, they want to mend our relationship and right, their wrongs.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 65
It truly hurt me to see my dad the way he was last night. The image is still stuck in my head. His words caused an ache to my heart. It hurts that my dad feels so hurt, the blame that he placed on his himself was not right.I don't want him to constantly blame himself, for what happened to me. It's not his fault. I want him to understand this. I have to set things right, I know I have to. Things cant go on like this, it's exhausting to go through this rollercoaster ride once again.It's like my family and I can't catch a break. We need a break from all this. It's my first morning being home, having woken up in my own bed and breathing homey air. It feels weird not waking up next to Roman or him, not being the first one I see. We are so used to being around each other, now only being a phone call away just feels different. Everything feels different but not too bad, though I miss him terribly but being
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 64
I could never catch a break.I thought I was done with hospitals already, now to find myself in here again, it tells a different story. I have woken up and Roman is the first person I see. His head is rested on my bed, his hand holding mine. I shift slightly and try pull my hand away but his grip tightens, refusing to let me go.I close my eyes and will myself not to cry. I am so exhausted emotionally and I feel like I can't deal with what happened to me and what, I had learnt not so long ago.I almost died again.I faced death but the difference is that I remember now. I thought I was done with the lies, I guess not. I knew that there would be people who did not like me, but for someone to hate me enough to kill me, that's a whole different level. I have had enough honestly and a part of me, wants me to quit on life but I know I can't. Roman, my dad, my family and friends wont allow me to.
BEGIN AGAIN Chapter 63 part 2
You stole everything from me.What does that even mean?" How can I steal something from you, when I don't even know you?......You're Roman's friend, no, you aren't anymore. " I shake my head." When Roman finds out about this, he will never forgive you. Never." I say, turning my back to them.I can't believe she would do this to me, to Roman. She is Kyle's partner in crime and she's been pretending to be a good person." Don't you dare turn your back on me Hazel!" She shouts." I can do what ever I f*ckin' want!..... You can't tell me what to do and who do you think you are to order me around huh?!" I say, glaring at her over my shoulder." Oh you'll be eating those words very soon you lil' b***!"" I'm sure I wont. Not when I'll be out of here in no time. Roman is coming for me." I say in confidence of my words.I turn b
