The second she entered the elevator the only thought that crossed his mind is what would’ve happened if it was six years back. Closed and confined areas were their favorites. He could not remember how many times they made out when they found themselves in the closed places. Now a five feet distance was put between them which was odd if he thinks of their past and justifiable at the same time. He still has an effect on her. He knows that she is holding her breath, and feeling intimidated. She has every reason to do so. He enjoyed making her feel like that without giving a thought about what he is feeling in the first place. It was nice to have her presence, to breathe her scent and feel her existence in his life again. But every positive vibe he gets simply vanishes before he enjoyed them completely. &n
NOTTINGHAMFEW YEARS BACK What do you call it when your heart skips at his text, at his sight, at his words? What do you call it when you wait for his text every freaking second even though you know it is not most likely there’s a reason or need to text you? What do you call it when you feel crazy butterflies inside your stomach?Insanity. Her inner voice shouted. Overloaded. Who is she kidding? She knew its insane. How can she possibly develop feelings even though her brain had continuously shouted not to do that? What damage would it do anyway? Break your heart, maybe. Screamed her inner voice. But it’s not like she is in love with or at least she thought so. She only admired him and wanted to be nearer to him. Probably it was the first step a heart could take in the process of shattering itself. Ayla was too consumed with her own feelings and their justifications to realize that. It wasn’t intentional when Ayla and Jayden first met at the café. Soon it was everything b
PRESENT-DAYLONDON The entire ride to his house was silent. His driver doesn't dare to speak a word since Jayden always preferred that way. But today, the silence is so loud; it is screaming inside his head, his heart is thumping wildly. He looked at the moon lamp in his bedroom. He thought of the day he received it. It was his twenty-second birthday; the same day as today six years before. Only, back then, Ayla had all her eyes on him and now she is looking at Blake's pictures reminiscing their memories. Where is he then? Did she forget him like that as if he's a small tide that once wet her feet? Is that all? Did he mean nothing to her? He touched the lamp resisting the urge to throw it to the wall and watch it break into pieces. After all these years, he kept it with him. It wasn't the first time he wanted to throw it away. But every time he got the idea, something inside him stopped that. He is afraid if he breaks it he would break all the love he buried inside for her.
LONDON PRESENT-DAYAYLA "It is an important document. Only Jayden should see this. Understand?"I watched Stephanie as she continued to pace around MY cubicle giving instructions about how I am supposed to give that particular document to Jayden. This was the first time I saw her like that. She barged into our room and almost startled every one of our team members with her burst out."Are you in rush? What happened?" I asked her while fetching a water bottle from my bag. Steph finished almost half of the contents of it and wipe her mouth with her arm. "I have to go. Jayden went out and Mason is nowhere to find. Please give this to Jayden once he came out. It is really important and sensitive. I am trusting you with this.""Okay. But what happened to you? Are you going anywhere?" I questioned her. No matter what happens Steph doesn't rush things like this and it is odd. "My mom, she met within an accident. I... I have to go." I walked her to the cab against her protests clutching t
PRESENT-DAY I was ten. I remembered everything clearly when I was in Istanbul. That was probably the last time I felt alive as far as remember. My work used to make me alive too. It was all a mess now. My mom took me to a home for handicaps to donate my old toys one day. "You should be grateful that you have everything." She said. "Learn from them, Ayla. They don't let their disability stop them from achieving what they want. Life was cruel to them. At least God spared you from that pain. Be grateful." Whenever I feel upset I think back to that day and remember everything she said. The picture is livid in my mind. I should be grateful. Even though I lost the memories of my high school, even though I have trust issues, even though my boss made my work life miserable, even though the one man whom I worship is nothing but a pain in my ass, even though I always feel like I am lost, I should be grateful for the life I had. But pain is a pain. Whether it is big or small, bearable or
A FEW YEARS BACK When we love something we will leave a piece of ourselves there and a little void inside. She constantly felt it in her chest. It was funny. It was ridiculous. How could she feel terrible as if they were in love for ages and broke up? That's not her case. Then why did she miss him so much? Why did she hope to bump into him at every turn? Why did every time her phone ringed, her heart skip in anticipation? She had no answers for them. Not having Jayden in her life felt like not having her safe room. He was like that. He made her feel safe and home there. She screwed it, she thought to herself. If she had just let him kiss her as other girls would do, they still would have been on talking terms. If only she didn't admit that she had feelings for him, things would have been different. Apparently, there's no chance he would see her like the other girls who meet his dating expectations. She never wants him to look at her like that. She also never wants
She's afraid that she could make a mistake. How do they do that? What do they exactly do? What if her inexperience in things like that makes their little make-out horrible? Many questions were running in her head when things got heated. But the second he made her legs wrap around his waist, she let go of her fears. She was not ready for sex. She didn't know how to stop him. She didn't know if she could say no to him. But at that moment, she let her body betray her brain. She followed his lead. She let him kiss her hungrily. And she didn't feel shy to kiss him with the same passion. It was awkward even to herself. But she tried. The moment their tongues touched while his calloused hands roamed all over her body, everything disappeared. That was something that happens in novels, not in her life. She never thought it would happen with the most handsome and wonderful person in the world. It was like a dream. His erection pressed against her jeans, exactly at her womanhood. S
AYLA It was the girl, who said her name was Yeona sitting on the bench. "So you forget everything?" She asked me for the twentieth time. I nook my head. When she asks me that many times, I doubt myself I had forgotten everything. She touched her temples and massaged them for a brief moment. "You are not joking, right?" I released an exasperated breath. "I didn't even remember my mom's death," I told her. She clasped her hand over her mouth. "You won't lie in that matter. You...." She gasped again. She got up from the bench and started to pace. Indeed, she knew me well. I doubted when she said she was my best friend. If she knew about my mom and had been there with me when my mom died, she knew me well. "I should've been there. I should've been there with you. How can I do that? How can I just leave? You were almost....oh god... I can't, I didn't know." And so many things came out of her mouth. It took me a good ten minutes to calm h