She's afraid that she could make a mistake. How do they do that? What do they exactly do? What if her inexperience in things like that makes their little make-out horrible? Many questions were running in her head when things got heated. But the second he made her legs wrap around his waist, she let go of her fears. She was not ready for sex. She didn't know how to stop him. She didn't know if she could say no to him. But at that moment, she let her body betray her brain. She followed his lead. She let him kiss her hungrily. And she didn't feel shy to kiss him with the same passion. It was awkward even to herself. But she tried. The moment their tongues touched while his calloused hands roamed all over her body, everything disappeared. That was something that happens in novels, not in her life. She never thought it would happen with the most handsome and wonderful person in the world. It was like a dream. His erection pressed against her jeans, exactly at her womanhood. S
AYLA It was the girl, who said her name was Yeona sitting on the bench. "So you forget everything?" She asked me for the twentieth time. I nook my head. When she asks me that many times, I doubt myself I had forgotten everything. She touched her temples and massaged them for a brief moment. "You are not joking, right?" I released an exasperated breath. "I didn't even remember my mom's death," I told her. She clasped her hand over her mouth. "You won't lie in that matter. You...." She gasped again. She got up from the bench and started to pace. Indeed, she knew me well. I doubted when she said she was my best friend. If she knew about my mom and had been there with me when my mom died, she knew me well. "I should've been there. I should've been there with you. How can I do that? How can I just leave? You were almost....oh god... I can't, I didn't know." And so many things came out of her mouth. It took me a good ten minutes to calm h
A FEW YEARS BACK NOTTINGHAM The old- man was tall, blonde-haired, and his eyes were cerulean like Jayden's. In other words, he was an old version of Jayden. His smile was as charming as Jayden's. That's when she realized that Jayden got his looks from his father except for the hair. She heard that he owned a company. But he looked so down to earth in his simple old black shirt. "Who do we have here?" He asked, looking at Ayla and Jayden. She has to fix her hair again to be sure that the old man doesn't find out what happened. "I see a girl." He said again as if he was amazed. "A pretty little girl." She squeezed her eyes. The sound of a pretty little girl somehow upset her. She is not little. "Yes, a girl. Now stop looking at her like an alien. You are making her uncomfortable." Jayden said at once. "But you don't bring girls to this house." The old man said. "She is a friend. She is an exception." He answered. Ayla didn't know if she had to feel sad
A FEW YEARS BACKNOTTINGHAM Like her father said, to wish for something beyond her reach was stupidity. She may be stupid, Jayden might be beyond her reach. But he is not a bad person. She knew in her heart that he was not like Blake or other guys who take the advantage of the situation and ignore the person later. But that's what he was doing then. He left her with her own assumptions about why he hadn't called. She didn't regret kissing him. She would do the same if everything repeats. But she wasn't sure he would do that. He never called her as he said. He never tried to explain what happened between them to reduce the awkwardness. He didn't have to. But why did he have to kiss her in the first place? He knew that she had feelings for him. It will only make it hard for her if something happens between them. She couldn't blame him. She was in it too. But why? Why, Jay? Why didn't you call like you said you would? One day she knew a great deal about him. She was in his ho
PRESENT-DAY, AYLA Whenever I had a question, I felt low, alone, or when I was simply bored, there was one man I used to go to. I trust him with my life, and it all came crashing down. Blake said that he could explain, that he did everything to protect me, that he needs another chance. But my heart is aching with all the pain he left me. How could he do that? He was the same person I remembered. The person who stood back and laughed when people bullied me, the person I searched for when I was alone, the person who was the cause of most of my mistakes during my sophomore year. But I never thought of the possibility that he could do all those things when I forget everything. Now I think about it, I realized how stupid I have been until this moment. Blake never stood up for me as far as I remembered. When I woke up, and he said, he was my boyfriend, I trusted him. Then there was Jayden. Are we really that close? That part of the story still sounds mysterious. The tattoo I had ca
AYLA I can't believe I am doing this. After everything, I newly acknowledged, I don't know how to face him. Yet, here I am standing in my office lobby, pushing myself into hell again. I can flee to Istanbul. I can start new. I can forget everything that happened here. I can leave Jayden and Blake. I can leave. But I chose the worst way- I am staying. I am going to figure this out. I will know my life, even if it's past. Because now I know that the void inside me was him; Jayden. He is that missing piece. I don't know if I want to fill that shallowness, but I am sure I want to make that disappear. I need answers. It was easy when I said it in my mind. Now I have to act carefully. I see a totally different world now. Two men in this office hate me. They once loved me. And very, unfortunately, they are my bosses. And yet, determined, I walked in. As I walked into our floor, Vanessa came running to hug me. "You can't leave me alone," She complained, making a face of
Ayla He is panting. I can say by the way he is sweating that he has run a long way. He rapidly blinked, looking at the books sprawled across the floor and me. He ruffled his hand through his hair, a habit he often does when he is under pressure. "I might have given one of my books. I wanna take t back." Another lie. When he returned my diaries, it wouldn't have struck him that the things he was hiding can be written in them. There's no doubt in the fact that Blake was trying to protect me no matter what he did in the past, and it was Jayden who wasn't there all this time. "I just need two minutes. I think that's the book," He pointed to one of my diaries. He doesn't even know which diary contains the entries about that something I can't even speak about. He never read any of them. "Drop it, Blake. I read it. I was pregnant. I knew now." He knelt before me, supporting himself with his left hand on the couch. "I didn't remember it. So it
A FEW YEARS BACK ISTANBUL It rained the day before, and the day before that. The roads are slippery. Warning signs were made everywhere to limit the speed. Jayden spotted a few areas where the aftermath of accidents had prevailed. It was a bad day indeed. No pleasant weather after rain, no cool breeze, and no warm sun could change that. They have traveled for miles in silence. He didn't know where he was going. He only knew they had not reached the place where he wanted to stop. She was asleep on his shoulder. Her long red hair swayed to the wind as they drove on the highway. He attempted to put her hair in place but relinquished it in the fear of waking her. That could be her only sleep for the coming months. She didn't hold him, not even for support. And that said it all. She woke up when their undecided ride finally came to an end. They stopped in the middle of a bridge overlooking the sea. The sun was right above their head. "It wasn't this hot w