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33. CAN'T LET HER GO
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Ayden 34. THEY WERE INTENSE
PRESENT-DAY, AYLA Whenever I had a question, I felt low, alone, or when I was simply bored, there was one man I used to go to. I trust him with my life, and it all came crashing down. Blake said that he could explain, that he did everything to protect me, that he needs another chance. But my heart is aching with all the pain he left me. How could he do that? He was the same person I remembered. The person who stood back and laughed when people bullied me, the person I searched for when I was alone, the person who was the cause of most of my mistakes during my sophomore year. But I never thought of the possibility that he could do all those things when I forget everything. Now I think about it, I realized how stupid I have been until this moment. Blake never stood up for me as far as I remembered. When I woke up, and he said, he was my boyfriend, I trusted him. Then there was Jayden. Are we really that close? That part of the story still sounds mysterious. The tattoo I had ca
Ayden 35. "THINGS" FROM PAST
AYLA I can't believe I am doing this. After everything, I newly acknowledged, I don't know how to face him. Yet, here I am standing in my office lobby, pushing myself into hell again. I can flee to Istanbul. I can start new. I can forget everything that happened here. I can leave Jayden and Blake. I can leave. But I chose the worst way- I am staying. I am going to figure this out. I will know my life, even if it's past. Because now I know that the void inside me was him; Jayden. He is that missing piece. I don't know if I want to fill that shallowness, but I am sure I want to make that disappear. I need answers. It was easy when I said it in my mind. Now I have to act carefully. I see a totally different world now. Two men in this office hate me. They once loved me. And very, unfortunately, they are my bosses. And yet, determined, I walked in. As I walked into our floor, Vanessa came running to hug me. "You can't leave me alone," She complained, making a face of
Ayden 36. THE GIRL WHO SUFFERED
Ayla He is panting. I can say by the way he is sweating that he has run a long way. He rapidly blinked, looking at the books sprawled across the floor and me. He ruffled his hand through his hair, a habit he often does when he is under pressure. "I might have given one of my books. I wanna take t back." Another lie. When he returned my diaries, it wouldn't have struck him that the things he was hiding can be written in them. There's no doubt in the fact that Blake was trying to protect me no matter what he did in the past, and it was Jayden who wasn't there all this time. "I just need two minutes. I think that's the book," He pointed to one of my diaries. He doesn't even know which diary contains the entries about that something I can't even speak about. He never read any of them. "Drop it, Blake. I read it. I was pregnant. I knew now." He knelt before me, supporting himself with his left hand on the couch. "I didn't remember it. So it
Ayden 37. COME BACK TO ME
A FEW YEARS BACK ISTANBUL It rained the day before, and the day before that. The roads are slippery. Warning signs were made everywhere to limit the speed. Jayden spotted a few areas where the aftermath of accidents had prevailed. It was a bad day indeed. No pleasant weather after rain, no cool breeze, and no warm sun could change that. They have traveled for miles in silence. He didn't know where he was going. He only knew they had not reached the place where he wanted to stop. She was asleep on his shoulder. Her long red hair swayed to the wind as they drove on the highway. He attempted to put her hair in place but relinquished it in the fear of waking her. That could be her only sleep for the coming months. She didn't hold him, not even for support. And that said it all. She woke up when their undecided ride finally came to an end. They stopped in the middle of a bridge overlooking the sea. The sun was right above their head. "It wasn't this hot w
Ayden 38. FRIENDS AND VILLAINS
PRESENT DAY "So, did that Ayla had gone back to him?" I asked her curiously. "Stop talking about her as if she was someone else. It was you. She is you. You are her. I know it's hard but if you can't accept that fact, it will be much harder to do whatever you have planned to do." Yeona told me for the third time. I have been asking her about how I handled my mom's death. Whenever she mentioned that Ayla as 'you', I feel like shouting that it was not me, at least not the me I knew. "Yes, she did. She came back. Aigoo." She sighed. "You," She stressed the word, "You came back." "So, Blake wasn't there with me when Anne died?" I asked her. She shook her head again, followed by a sigh, "I know it's hard. But when you first came to Nottingham, he avoided you. We two had a bad reputation, and don't ask me why. Why do people bully? We were weak. So during our sophomore year, he was our greatest villain from whom Jayden saved us."
Ayden 39. IT HURTS
PRESENT DAYAYLA I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't feel this way. God is so so cruel. Once again, he left me alone with my ex- the ex I have not remembered in a very confined place. I am trying hard to not stare. But he is wearing a black shirt revealing a great amount of his hard chest. I have a chance to check if he still has the tattoo or not. If only he removes the third button too. Uff, shit, Ayla. You can't be so pathetic. Yesterday I came to a firm determination that I don't have to know about anything, that I should quit and give up on finding out about her. Too many people were involved in her tragedy. I thought I had no strength to deal with it. And now, I would do anything to have a peek at his tattoo. I was so confident when we were alone last time because he was a stranger to me. Now I know that he was my ex I can't put on a stranger's face anymore nor can I treat him as I always did; like my boss. It was getting awkward and heated. He raised
Ayden 40. IT WILL END
FEW YEAR BACK He didn't know that waiting is so tiring and it can get vicious over time. One part of him selfishly imagined the good days they were going to have, what he was going to do, how things would unfold to his favor, how he'll be able to sit under the sky and talk about stars as boring as they seemed for Mason and Yeona, and how they'll become one as if it was meant to be. The other part of him was afraid she wouldn't come back and that would be the end. That wouldn't break him. He may feel awful but it would go away. But he hoped for her return. And she did. It was like releasing the breath he never knew that he held till then. Watching her standing under the tree, so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't realized that she was shivering. "You should start using your phone again, Surgeon." He commented, walking towards her. She wasn't surprised to see him there. Her eyes didn't brighten like they always did at his sight. The same girl with red hair, a sle
Ayden 41. WHERE WOULD I GO LEAVING YOU?
A FEW YEARS BACK "She is avoiding me." Jayden placed his glass tankard filled with beer on the table. "Trust me. That's for good." Mason said as he sipped on his beer. He rolled his eyes at that. "Why are you against us?" He asked him. "Because it's a fool's errand, Jayden. Her mom died. She is so vulnerable right now. And if you are near her, she will depend on you. Do you love her?" "Mason, I.." "It's so easy, Jayden. It's a yes or no. Do you love her?" His question was a bitter pill to swallow. He asked himself the same question more than a thousand times, and he always got only one answer. "No, I don't think what I feel for her is love. It's just....." "You pity her, Jayden. As awful as it may sound, you pity her. There are many girls who loved you before. But Ayla became an exception because she was different from them. It's not love. You know that too." No, it's not pity. But there was no good reason to justify what he
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Ayden 66. SAY YES
AYLA | NOW My hands are clammy. I stared at the road ahead, sitting in Jayden’s fancy car. The speed hit over 70, and when the hood of the car opened without me asking for it, I released a breath of relief. I closed my eyes, my face towards the sky, and the wind swayed my hair. It’s going to be a mess, I’m sure. But I enjoyed this moment. The wind, the freedom, the thud in my chest, the moment of no thoughts, the clarity in my bones, I love everything about this moment. Did I ever think that I would have someone to depend on completely? That’s exactly what I am doing. I am trusting him with my heart, and my body. I am going to take the leap of faith in him, in us, and I hope fate plays in our favour. We entered into a sumptuous upscale street with many apartments and villas here and there. Either side of the road is lined up with maple trees. I bet it looks more beautiful in the daytime. Jayden stopped the car in front of a tower. Of course, it’s a skyscraper, or how else w
Ayden 65. TAKE ME HOME
AYLA | NOW I hugged my diary and wiped my tears. I had something I thought I'd never have: a father figure, a brother, and a man, my man who loved me unconditionally and who protected me."Nothing you do will make him leave you." Henry told her. And somehow I did something that made him leave. But he came back for me. He said that he came back for me six months after he left, which is exactly two months after I woke up, and he saw me in Blake's arms. That must have hurt. He felt betrayed. I think I can finally see his pain. He was ready to give Ayla a chance even though he believed that his father died because of her. His love is incomparable. How did I get that lucky? How did it all go down? For now, I closed the dairy. My body and mind were desperate to see him, see the guy who gave me the world, and nothing about him changed now, even though I didn't remember him. I squealed in joy as I got ready for the office, putting some extra effort into my hair and make-up. I chose a two-p
Ayden 64. HIS LOVE
AYLA | THEN He is crazy. She is going to kill him for sure. He even locked her in the car, went to the department store and bought condoms. Not just one but ten. She will kick him on the bed and lock him in the washroom. Then she will sleep while he begs her to open the door. "I swear, Jayden. If you don't take me home today, I might kill you accidentally." "I am taking you, home." He said so casually without giving a second thought about what his words were doing to her, they were giving her hope which she didn't want. "I am not ready for this." She yelled. "You're more than ready." She was. She is. She knows it. She also knows how addictive his touch can be, how blissful his kisses can be and how peaceful she'll be with him. She will be addicted to happiness. That's what her relationship is with him, pure happiness. That's what makes it more precious and fragile. It can be broken. A month away from turning eighteen Ayla already knows that she wants forever w
Ayden 63. MAKE YOU MINE
AYLA It became hard to breathe. It has been two weeks. Two weeks since the break up. Two weeks since she talked to him, since she received a text from and heard about him. She is the one who left. She is the one who ended. He made that so clear. But it hurts. A part of her wondered if he missed her. A part of her wondered why he didn't call her. Did he move on? Of course, he would. He is Jayden Knight. He can have anyone. He said they were a mistake. Of course, he wouldn't regret this. Ayla on the other hand, felt suffocated. She stared at her phone, waiting for his call, even though she knew she wouldn't change her mind if he did and read their old conversations. When will this year be over? When will she find a new city? There are too many memories everywhere. She didn't realise it till now. But Jayden showed her every place in the city, and kissed her in every corner. Her heart swelled at the thought. How long will it take for the pain to go away? She forgot how she used t
Ayden 62. SHATTERED
JAYDEN | THEN Something changed between them. Ayla became distant again. Ever since she cried in his arms, she started to avoid him. She cried in front of him before without feeling insecure or inferior. It took a lot of time for her to open up. Now, she went back to being reserved again. Jayden was left with a nibbling feeling inside. Something was off. Something was off between them. She kissed him back when he kissed her. It wasn't just the same passion. She said I love you too, when he said, I love you. It wasn't just the same intensity. She didn't pick up the phone after the third ring or the fourth like she usually does. She barely replied to his messages. Her windows weren't opened anymore. Jayden stood, outside her house, staring at her dark room, not knowing where it all went wrong. He called her. It was 11 PM. She has been staying late for a year now. Sometimes they talked until 3 AM. She was online. But his messages were left unread. He lost it then. Gritting h
Ayden 61. DATE
AYLA Blake joined me for the morning run today. "So?" He asked, panting. "You are going on a date with your boss. You are one lucky girl." I laughed at his words. "I feel like I am a character in a novel." "I hope it's a novel full of smut." I punched him in the stomach. He acted like he couldn't breathe and did a fake cry, holding his stomach. If I didn't know him better, I would have trusted he was really in pain. "I haven't forgiven you yet," I yelled at him and ran faster. He joined me soon. "I am really happy for you." He says. "Need help with what are you going to wear?" I shook my head, "It's weird to take your help for a date with Jayden. Given, you are enemies and all." "When can we move past that?" He asked me with a hope. "When I know the full story." "He became yours. Do you still need to know the full story?" I nod my head. "It is my story. I had to know." "Good to know that you are accepting your past while moving forward in presen
Ayden 60. A HOPE OF FUTURE
AYLA PRESENT | By this time in my life, I knew so many things about Jayden. They are more than I thought I would. Right now, he is angry. It is pure rage mixed with something else that became hard to comprehend for me. Is it hurt, pain or just love? "No, I left you at your father's mercy." His words came out as a whisper with a heavy tone as though it was hurting him to talk with me. "I don't understand," I told him, confused. I came to Steph's cabin hoping to see him. A million thoughts ran in my head about how I would greet him after the kiss. I tried hard not to blush because he would grin like a devil. But never did I imagine, it would be like this. "Of course, because you don't remember." That's all it took for him to break me, a simple and stupid accusation. He was walking out without even looking back after throwing those few sharp words at me, and I started to realise the effect he had on me. I thought he was
Ayden 59. HOW CAN I GO BACK?
AYLA A FEW YEARS AGO Her bedside clock read 11:45 PM. Her mom would never let her use her phone at that time. After sitting in the same position for an hour and a half, she got up slowly. A few times, Evelyn knocked at her door. But she ignored it. The knock came again, making her sigh. After all, it's not Evelyn's fault. She held an ice pack in her hand when Ayla opened the door. "I am sorry for what happened." She told her, handing over the ice pack. "You did nothing," Ayla said, taking the ice pack. "Thank you." She said in her hoarse tone. Then, Evelyn did the most unexpected thing. She took a strand of hair to the back of her ear in a motherly way. "You're a good girl, Ayla. I know that. Eda has raised you well. It's just your dad hated her. And he hates the knights. We had a long rivalry with them, and it made him furious. Otherwise, your dad wouldn't have. .." "He has never been my dad, Evelyn. Do not try to justify what he did. He slapped me because
Ayden 58. NOTHING IS GOOD
Her house was situated at the end of the street. She could see the beautiful gardens perched on the lawn of each mansion she has passed by. 'I could do it,' she thought. Just another minute and she will be inside her room, and he can't hurt her, or at least she thought he couldn't. His truck is still after her, following her into the house. Jack just came out of the house looking at her suspiciously. His gaze shifted to Nathaniel who shortly followed her. Nathaniel is taller than Jack but not as tall as Jayden. He has a muscled body and if something happens, Ayla was sure that would happen, she can't outdo him. He looked dangerous, and he got big hands. Something about that terrified her evenmore. She saw him leaning towards Jack and whispering something, and Jack looked at her with spite in his eyes a second later. * An eerie silence settled over the dinner table. Something is off or it's her fear of Na
