1. TRIGGERED MEMORIES

       Alya’s chest heaved up and down with every step her foot touched the ground. Sweat formed on the little of her cleavage shown from her sleeveless top. The song playing on her headset is nothing more than a constant buzz like an indistinctive noise when one is crowded. Her mind wandered somewhere along with her legs. She stopped at the first turn her eyes caught. Every time, she encounters a turn, she wouldn’t risk taking it, because she knows that she would lost. Sometimes, the turn appears just after two minutes of running. She would go back to her car and runs in a nearby park as long as she is not tired. Sometimes, she would go beyond miles.

   She has run for four miles today. She was going to turn around when her shoes stopped in the midway spotting a lady who just got from a car. “Tamam, tamam. seni geri arayacağım,janam. Hoscakal.” She heard the woman say on the phone before she hung up. As soon as Ayla heard her language, the emotions buried deep in her chest raised down to take her into a nostalgic rollar coaster ride. As much as they hurt every cell of her body, hearing her mother tongue after such a long time, sooths her soul.

     She wanted to go to her and talk to her. What happens then? Maybe, they will have a turkish tea beautifully filled in a glass appearing in bright red. Then they will talk about their country and hometowns. Eventually, the question how did they end up in London appears. Ayla doesn’t know how to answer that question when,she, herself doesn’t know the answer. Reluctantly, she recedes. Whenever she looked back, she doesn’t just see the road she ran through, she sees her whole life until that moment. She has crossed a thousand miles to reach there. She doesn’t know how and she doesn’t know why. She reached her home thinking how to prepare herself a tasty breakfast. She is both hungry and tired.

      Ayla’s apartment is in the middle of the city. Even though it is small, she has a decent living. As soon as she opened the door, a spectrum of many lights incessantly moving displayed on her wall. Her living room is so dim and the TV is on. She doesn’t remember switching it on before she went out. She is so sure that she has locked the door. Her immediate thought is someone breaking in in her apartment. She sighed in relief knowing that someone is no one but her best friend, Quinn.

     Quinn is sitting on the couch watching some foriegn movie. Judging by their costumes and colour, Ayla could say that it is an asian movie, but the other details are still unknown. Beside her is the breakfast nicely wrapped ina cover. Quinn, herself is having a bite from her own food. “I wanted to wait for you.” She said. “But I am hungry.”

      Exactly at times like this,she would think, what good she did to deserve a friend like her. She fetched herself some water and sat beside her best friend who is so indulged in watching the movie. It’s Quinn’s job to watch movies and review them. Even though, her dad is loaded with pretty large sum, Quinn does what she wanted to do despite her family’s protests.

     “Whom do you think is gonna win? The blue one are the villains and the red team is the hero’s. İt is the final match. And this movie is about failures.” Her friend questioned Ayla after a long silence of filling their bellies.

     “Obviously, the hero team.” Ayla replied as she saw the two teams playing basket ball.

    “Nope. The hero team losses.”

     “But you said this is about failure. Eventually, they should win.”

     Quinn shook her head taking another bite, “I said it is about failure. Who spoke anything about winning?”

      Just like she predicted, the hero team lost the match. “You really are good at your work,Quinn.” She tapped her on her shoulder.

      Quinn smirked as she said, “I am the queen.”

      “Damn right,you are.” Ayla agreed.

      Since it is Sunday, Ayla took her time to ease her strained muscles in a hot shower.

      As soon as she got out, she find herself in a clumsy situation as her best friend shoot the question, “When was the last time you got laid?”

    Fixing her wet hair and hiding her face so that her best friend couldn’t read her, she replied casually, “Why do you ask?”

     “Because,people feel fresh and enthusiastic after a workout or running. You look exhausted. And you have been so preoccupied these days with your work. So, just asking.”

    She doesn’t have to answer. Her silence told that it has been ages since she got laid. “You know what? We are going to a party.”

     Like always, Ayla protested for she isn’t the party person or outgoing like Quinn. The high class parties scares her. She feels inferior like she doesn’t belong there.

     “I don’t think it is a good idea. I will just stay at ....”

     “Before you say another word,let me tell you this. Jayden Knight is attending the party.”

      Ayla could barely listen the remaining things her friend says. The word Jayden Knight started to drum in her head. For her, he is a person, she wants to meet at least for once in her lifetime. All the protests are submerged in the sea as she now found a purpose to float on it. Jayden Knight.

       She can't believe her own eyes when she saw herself in a royal blue bodycon dress with a v neckline. It showed all her curves perfectly. Her red hair is down in free curls. A little make up and she doesn’t look herself. ‘Beautiful.’ Ayla thought.    

       "Beautiful is not the word. You look hot. Your red hair, grey eyes, that dress, everything matched so perfectly. You are hot. You are going to steal hearts, darling." Quinn said as if she heard her thoughts.    

        But the fact is Quinn looks more beautiful in her bandage Bardot black dress. She looked not less than a model.  As much as her blonde hair, round lips, her short height, made her appear cute, Quinn’s body and her attitude say otherwise.

     "May be I should change. It's a little uncomfortable." Ayla said pulling down that dress that hugged her a little.    

      “Uncomfortable? You better be great full. It isn't showing much cleavage.  I know you well. That's why I picked this. And don't even try to turn this plan down." She snapped.              

        "Thamam(okay)." She raised her hands in surrender. Anything for Jayden.

                                                          *

         Ayla sat at the counter without having any drink waiting for Quinn. She found a group of people, two women and two men making toasts while laughing loudly. Some one behind her started to speak something about Jayden. The word Jayden started to come out from many persons. Suddenly, their talking started to sound like an echo, a vague memory just like this came at a glimpse to her. The next second, Ayla is on the road when the truck moved swiftly towards her. She gasped as someone moved her by her shoulder.

       This isn’t a dream. She is still in the party. Somehow, memories related to her past triggered. She rushed through the crowd to go out. “Next time.” She told herself when the image of Jayden Knight appears in her mind.

                                      *                                                                                      

          Jayden stood in the balcony of the 21st floor. Watching the city lights in a clear sky amused him. It felt like man is the sole ruler of universe. His silky brown hair was comb over. He is tall with broad shoulders. His sleeves are rolled at his elbows and the two buttons of his white shirt are opened revealing a little of his chest. His face revealed no emotion but his brain and heart held a strong sense of admiration for the city. But at the end, he knew that the universe decides. As much as he wants to change it, he couldn't. 

       He heard the steps coming towards him.”'Not now, Mason. I said I am not coming." He said slowly.      

      Mason is his best friend, his partner. He is the brother from another mother. That's why he got to hear all his non sense.      

     "Then don't. But listen to me. I saw her."       

      "Who?" Jayden asked plainly as if it has not affected him, but only he knew how much surprised, excited and at the same time hated he is to hear that. He knew who she was. He had not heard of her for six years until now. The word "she" itself brought all the memories back. He tried not to think of it. But the damn good memory came at a glimpse.      

      "You know who. She was with that blonde. She hasn't changed much. She was still like that clumsy little lost puppy. She felt like she doesn't belong here. It was evident in her face. She is a woman now, a beautiful woman..."      Mason kept talking about her until Jayden turned back to face him with an undeterminable glare. Leaning back on the railing, he shoved his hands into his pockets.

      "She isn't a lost puppy. She wasn't. I don't care whom you saw or what you saw. It has nothing to do with me. Now don't waste my time. Get out." He spoke in a hoarse tone and continued what he is doing. But now, his heart and brain are not with him.