It wasn’t like she wouldn’t talk to me. She already had, back on my very first day on the tour bus:To fuck hot chicks.I… what?To fuck hot chicks.What are you talking about?Why I do it. To fuck hot chicks.That wasn’t what I was going to ask.Oh. Well, that’s the answer, anyway. To fuck hot chicks.O-kaaaay… moving on. What’s the best part of being a rock star?Fucking hot chicks. I mean fucking chicks that’re hot. Not chicks who are fuckin’ hot. I mean, I want ‘em fuckin’ hot, but if you don’t get to fuck ‘em, what’s the fuckin’ point, right?She was perfectly willing to be interviewed… if you can call that an ‘interview.’No, I wanted more. The real person, not the caricature. What Killian had given me on the ride out to the desert.Which Riley was apparently willing to give me, too. But just like Killian, she had a price.With Killian, it had been participating in a psychedelic holiday.With Riley, it was a bit more… Rileyesque.“I really need to do an interview with you,” I to
The first thing I asked her – after she’d downed all four shots – was how long she’d known she was gay.“Forever,” she said, and belched.“What’s your earliest memory, though?”She stared off into the distance and actually gave it some thought. “There’s actually two things I remember. One was Mr. Hopkins.”“Mr. Hopkins?”“Yeah. He was this old asshole I had to live with when I was little.”I frowned, but thought better than to ask about it now. After all, she was actually talking, and she hadn’t even propositioned me yet.“Anyway, he said, ‘Riley, one day you’re gonna grow up and get married and have kids of your own.’ I was, like, four or something, and I didn’t know shit about sex… but I saw all the men and women who were married on TV, and I just knew that was never gonna happen for me.“So I was like, ‘Nunh-unh.’“And he was like, ‘Oh yes you are.’“And I was like, ‘Nunh-unh.’“And he got really mad and was like, ‘Yes you ARE.’“And I was like, ‘NUNH-UNH.’”Maybe it was the shot o
The night – and Riley’s story – continued amidst a flurry of shots.She talked about the various punk rock bands she’d been in through the years, including the one she’d started when she was sixteen, called ‘Fuck You.’ When she first heard Cee-lo Green’s song by the same name, she immediately changed the band name to ‘Punk Rock Bitches’ because she didn’t want people thinking she took her band name from a Top 40 hit. That would have been very un-punk rock. (Although, technically, the Top 40 hit was titled ‘Forget You,’ and ‘Fuck You’ was the naughty, alternate version… but that didn’t seem to matter to 16-year-old Riley.)She talked about how she started playing the drums when she was five years old, using overturned pots and pans as the bass and snares, and lids suspended on fishing line as the cymbals. Growing up, she got practice time on other kids’ real drum sets by trading them alcohol she shoplifted. She didn’t get her own set until she was seventeen, just three years before she
We were hurtling towards the end of the tour like a runaway train.Things became a blur. One night of partying blended into the next; the concerts seemed to be one unending performance; one city transformed into another. I could barely distinguish between what happened in Vancouver versus Boise versus Denver. The only way to differentiate were things that were vastly out of the ordinary, like my interview with Riley. I’ll always remember Seattle because of that night. But otherwise, the only indicators were different skylines and the weather, and when you spend most of your time inside hotel rooms or concrete stadiums, every city looks the same.There were things that stood out, of course – both good and bad.One of my favorites was the time we were walking down the street on one of the band’s nights off. I don’t remember what city; it doesn’t even matter. But Derek, Ryan, Riley, and I were passing by a karaoke bar downtown when we heard somebody inside start singing one of Bigger’s h
So, amidst all the hot and heavy memories, there were at least a couple that stood out because they were unpleasant.But there was one that was freakin’ awesome. And really, really unusual. And didn’t involve psychedelic mushrooms.We were in Salt Lake City at the time. I remember that because ‘the Mormons’ figured prominently in the conversation.The day after the performance, Derek and I decided to strike out and go see the Great Salt Lake. After a day of band practice, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision. We left the hotel around 7 o’clock in the evening and drove the Mercedes convertible he’d bought in Irvine.The Mercedes had become the bane of Miles’s existence, because it was one more thing to be taken care of. Crew members had to be assigned to drive it behind the tour bus as we moved from city to city, and then park it somewhere safe overnight. You never heard the crew members complain – hey, they got to drive a ‘69 Mercedes – but Miles was always super-pissed.“Thank you so
It all came crashing to an end ten days later in Vegas.The last two concerts of the tour took place there, at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. The first show was an incredible success.At least something about those last few days was.Things really started to go south during the last band meeting, just hours before the final performance.I didn’t know it until everyone was assembled in the penthouse suite, but everybody was planning to go their separate ways after Vegas. Take some time off, then join back up two months later to begin recording their third album.It was strange to me. I thought of them as a tightly-knit family. I mean, they had lived together for over a year in a run-down house in one of the crappiest neighborhoods in Athens. And here they were about to split apart, even if only for a while.I sat between Derek and Ryan, with Killian and Riley opposite us. Miles was standing at the front of the room and currently running the show.“Alright, Killian, you’re going back to Lo
The last concert was just as good as the one the previous night. Maybe even better.The only difference was in the energy.It was edgier. Darker. Derek in particular was more aggressive, more combative. Bigger’s heavier, more metal-tinged songs turned downright brutal. Even the love songs had a bitterness to them.It was all in reaction to me and our fight earlier.I know, I know. You’re probably saying, Way to make it all about you, Kaitlyn. But I have some evidence to back it up.Exhibit A: Derek didn’t sing “Girl, Please Stay” at all.That was a mainstay of their shows, and a fan favorite. Especially a female fan favorite.But apparently he told the others he wasn’t doing it tonight, because it disappeared from the set list.And in light of our fight earlier, the fact that he didn’t sing it made me feel like shit.Exhibit B: the covers they played. Each one seemed like a subtle jab, a passive-aggressive blow.“No Apologies” by Nirvana.“She Fuckin’ Hates Me” by Puddle of Mud.“Give
I was watching the lights of Las Vegas from the hotel suite’s gigantic glass windows, thinking how beautiful and uncomplicated it seemed out there, when I heard the door open.His boots whispered over the carpet until he was right behind me. I felt his strong arms circle around my waist.“You disappeared on me,” he murmured in my ear, then proceeded to kiss my neck.I almost gave in. It felt so good to be held by him… to feel his lips on my skin…But I didn’t.I shrugged him off and moved closer to the window. “Don’t.”There was a long pause behind me.Then a sigh.“Okay, I’m sorry. I was pissed off – ”“So you decided to call me a bitch in front of 20,000 people?”“The Garden only holds 16,000,” he said, trying for a lame joke.When I didn’t respond, he groaned. “I was singing a song. Nobody knew I was talking about you – ”“Ryan did. Killian did.”“Yeah, so did Riley, and I noticed you palling around with her at the after-party.”“I’m surprised you had enough time to notice, given h