I was watching the lights of Las Vegas from the hotel suite’s gigantic glass windows, thinking how beautiful and uncomplicated it seemed out there, when I heard the door open.His boots whispered over the carpet until he was right behind me. I felt his strong arms circle around my waist.“You disappeared on me,” he murmured in my ear, then proceeded to kiss my neck.I almost gave in. It felt so good to be held by him… to feel his lips on my skin…But I didn’t.I shrugged him off and moved closer to the window. “Don’t.”There was a long pause behind me.Then a sigh.“Okay, I’m sorry. I was pissed off – ”“So you decided to call me a bitch in front of 20,000 people?”“The Garden only holds 16,000,” he said, trying for a lame joke.When I didn’t respond, he groaned. “I was singing a song. Nobody knew I was talking about you – ”“Ryan did. Killian did.”“Yeah, so did Riley, and I noticed you palling around with her at the after-party.”“I’m surprised you had enough time to notice, given h
After an hour moping around in bed feeling sorry for myself, I decided to seize the opportunity. I would make the most of my solo flight! I would go have fun! I would have an awesome time recharging my batteries – alone!I was a good enough liar that I was able to get myself out of bed, shower, and go down to breakfast without crying again.After three mimosas, and feeling my spirits temporarily lifted, I decided to go see what the rest of the band was doing.Up in the penthouse, Killian was standing amongst a pile of suitcases playing his guitar. Ryan was sitting at his laptop, and Riley was nowhere to be seen.“You’re leaving already?” I asked Killian.“Got a noon flight to Heathrow,” he nodded, and took a puff on his joint.I remembered the stories Ryan had told me about Dr. Killian turning into Mr. Hyde… but wasn’t sure if I was supposed to let on that I knew. So I just said jokingly, “How are you going to survive the entire flight without any weed?”“Private jet,” Killian informe
I got out my cell phone and searched for the Wynn’s number. Then I retreated to Killian’s now-vacant bedroom (I could tell it was his by the lingering stench of pot smoke), found the telephone by the bed, steadied my trembling nerves, and dialed.After the main switchboard directed me to the front desk, a man’s voice answered on the first ring. He sounded moderately young, maybe mid- to late twenties.“This is the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas, how may I help you?”“Hello, I’m calling on behalf of Miles Sumner, the manager for the band Bigger. The lead singer, Derek Kane, is staying at your hotel, and we need to messenger over some contracts for him to sign immediately and send right back with the delivery man. Could you give me his room number, please?”There was a pause.Then –“Derek Kane?”As in, Really? Derek Kane is staying at our hotel?For the first time, I felt like I might actually have a shot.Then his voice dropped back down a notch to normal. “I’m sorry, but we can’t give out t
It’s the eternal question every woman must face at some point in her life:Good Boy or Bad Boy?The Good Boy is sweet. He’s stable, secure, a rock. He’s safe and comforting, a shelter from the storm.The Bad Boy is dangerous. He’s that thrill you’ve been seeking, that ‘something’ you’ve been missing from your humdrum life. He’s the line of shots, the hit of cocaine. He’s fun and drama personified.There’s danger in both. Just because the Good Boy loves you doesn’t mean he won’t hurt you. And just because the Bad Boy is wild and crazy, doesn’t mean he can’t touch you deeply.The Good Boy can break your heart.But the Bad Boy can rip it out.I’d just snuck into the Wynn Hotel in Vegas to surprise my boyfriend – Derek Kane, lead singer of the hottest band in the world, not to mention one of the hottest guys in the world.Turns out, I was the one in for a surprise.The ‘surprise’ was a six-foot tall vixen with long black hair and an all-over tan. She stood there staring at me, naked behin
I turned back to Derek. I caught a look of yearning on his face – an expression that said, Fuck, like someone resigning themselves to watching a valued possession slip away.“You are an asshole,” I burst out.He looked down at me in a flash of anger, like I was being unreasonable.Didn’t I know what he had just given up for me?Wasn’t I appreciative?Then he figured out that maybe that wasn’t the best play, and his features softened.Too late.The damage was done.“Kaitlyn – ” he said, and reached out for me.I stepped away from him and wrapped my arms around me like I was cold.The bed they had rutted in was right beside me. The sheets were wrinkled and smelled of sex.I wanted to vomit.More than that, I wanted to pour lighter fluid all over it and flick a match. Watch it burn.“I’m going to ask you a question,” I whispered, “and I want you to tell me the truth.”He pulled back, unsure what was coming. “What?”I looked up at him, in more pain than I’d ever felt in my life. “Promise
After a nearly sleepless night, I awoke the next morning to the sound of polite knocking on my apartment door.It baffled me at first. I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or not, partly because it stopped as soon as my head was up off my pillow.Then, just as I was about to lie back down, the knocking started again – steady, light, but insistent.When I realized I really was awake, I was terrified.Oh no – they’re going to evict me, I thought, until I remembered I had paid the current month’s rent while I was on the road with Derek.Then I thought, Oh SHIT – it’s Derek!To be honest, that last thought made my heart soar at the same time that it scared me to death. I wasn’t thinking properly, having just been jerked out of the only hour of sleep I’d had all night. My thoughts were ping-ponging back and forth between the dread of I can’t let him in, he’ll never leave to the bitterness and hatred of That cheating, lying asshole to the hearts and flowers of Oh my gosh, he came all the way t
After Ryan left, I listened to all the voicemails and read all the texts. In fact, another eleven popped up when I turned the phone back on.Ryan’s were all super-concerned about me, and all of them were really sweet.“Hey, Kaitlyn, it’s Ryan… I’m really worried about you. Give me a call and just let me know you’re all right.”“Hey, it’s Ryan… I’m a little concerned that I haven’t heard from you. Could you give me a call or text, just to let me know everything’s okay?”“It’s Ryan. Just to give you fair warning, I got your information from Miles, and I’m dropping by your apartment in New York. I don’t want to freak you out, so I’m letting you know ahead of time. I guess I’ll see you in about eight hours. Hope this isn’t a problem for you. If it is, just leave me a message and I’ll turn around and go back.”I smiled throughout each of them.Derek, by contrast, was like listening to Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde, depending on the message. Half of them were pathetic, half of them were assholish
When we walked in, Glen was frosty to me, but immediately started doing his “I’m your biggest fan” dance with Ryan. Ryan was far friendlier than Derek had been. I mean, come on, it’s hard to get much worse than, ‘Take your tongue out of my ass, buddy.’ So in the end, we all settled into our chairs with a fair amount of goodwill and civility.The editor watched me closely, but his eyes kept glancing furtively over to Ryan.“So… you have the story?” he asked.“…no,” I said, my stomach feeling like there was a lead block inside it.I saw Glen’s hands clench together on the desk. “I see. And when do you think you’ll be able to get it to me?”I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and tried again. “…it might be a long time. It might be… a really, really long time.”Glen’s face started to turn pink with anger. “I hired you specifically to – ”“I know, Glen, I know, and I feel awful about it,” I said, and I did feel awful. In fact, I felt like shit. “But… we… broke up.