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i was watching the light
Last Updated:
2023-07-21 02:49:27Related chapters
Affair with the Rockstar after an hour
After an hour moping around in bed feeling sorry for myself, I decided to seize the opportunity. I would make the most of my solo flight! I would go have fun! I would have an awesome time recharging my batteries – alone!I was a good enough liar that I was able to get myself out of bed, shower, and go down to breakfast without crying again.After three mimosas, and feeling my spirits temporarily lifted, I decided to go see what the rest of the band was doing.Up in the penthouse, Killian was standing amongst a pile of suitcases playing his guitar. Ryan was sitting at his laptop, and Riley was nowhere to be seen.“You’re leaving already?” I asked Killian.“Got a noon flight to Heathrow,” he nodded, and took a puff on his joint.I remembered the stories Ryan had told me about Dr. Killian turning into Mr. Hyde… but wasn’t sure if I was supposed to let on that I knew. So I just said jokingly, “How are you going to survive the entire flight without any weed?”“Private jet,” Killian informe
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar i got out my cell phone
I got out my cell phone and searched for the Wynn’s number. Then I retreated to Killian’s now-vacant bedroom (I could tell it was his by the lingering stench of pot smoke), found the telephone by the bed, steadied my trembling nerves, and dialed.After the main switchboard directed me to the front desk, a man’s voice answered on the first ring. He sounded moderately young, maybe mid- to late twenties.“This is the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas, how may I help you?”“Hello, I’m calling on behalf of Miles Sumner, the manager for the band Bigger. The lead singer, Derek Kane, is staying at your hotel, and we need to messenger over some contracts for him to sign immediately and send right back with the delivery man. Could you give me his room number, please?”There was a pause.Then –“Derek Kane?”As in, Really? Derek Kane is staying at our hotel?For the first time, I felt like I might actually have a shot.Then his voice dropped back down a notch to normal. “I’m sorry, but we can’t give out t
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar it's the eternal question
It’s the eternal question every woman must face at some point in her life:Good Boy or Bad Boy?The Good Boy is sweet. He’s stable, secure, a rock. He’s safe and comforting, a shelter from the storm.The Bad Boy is dangerous. He’s that thrill you’ve been seeking, that ‘something’ you’ve been missing from your humdrum life. He’s the line of shots, the hit of cocaine. He’s fun and drama personified.There’s danger in both. Just because the Good Boy loves you doesn’t mean he won’t hurt you. And just because the Bad Boy is wild and crazy, doesn’t mean he can’t touch you deeply.The Good Boy can break your heart.But the Bad Boy can rip it out.I’d just snuck into the Wynn Hotel in Vegas to surprise my boyfriend – Derek Kane, lead singer of the hottest band in the world, not to mention one of the hottest guys in the world.Turns out, I was the one in for a surprise.The ‘surprise’ was a six-foot tall vixen with long black hair and an all-over tan. She stood there staring at me, naked behin
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar i turned back to Derek
I turned back to Derek. I caught a look of yearning on his face – an expression that said, Fuck, like someone resigning themselves to watching a valued possession slip away.“You are an asshole,” I burst out.He looked down at me in a flash of anger, like I was being unreasonable.Didn’t I know what he had just given up for me?Wasn’t I appreciative?Then he figured out that maybe that wasn’t the best play, and his features softened.Too late.The damage was done.“Kaitlyn – ” he said, and reached out for me.I stepped away from him and wrapped my arms around me like I was cold.The bed they had rutted in was right beside me. The sheets were wrinkled and smelled of sex.I wanted to vomit.More than that, I wanted to pour lighter fluid all over it and flick a match. Watch it burn.“I’m going to ask you a question,” I whispered, “and I want you to tell me the truth.”He pulled back, unsure what was coming. “What?”I looked up at him, in more pain than I’d ever felt in my life. “Promise
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar after a nearly sleepless night
After a nearly sleepless night, I awoke the next morning to the sound of polite knocking on my apartment door.It baffled me at first. I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or not, partly because it stopped as soon as my head was up off my pillow.Then, just as I was about to lie back down, the knocking started again – steady, light, but insistent.When I realized I really was awake, I was terrified.Oh no – they’re going to evict me, I thought, until I remembered I had paid the current month’s rent while I was on the road with Derek.Then I thought, Oh SHIT – it’s Derek!To be honest, that last thought made my heart soar at the same time that it scared me to death. I wasn’t thinking properly, having just been jerked out of the only hour of sleep I’d had all night. My thoughts were ping-ponging back and forth between the dread of I can’t let him in, he’ll never leave to the bitterness and hatred of That cheating, lying asshole to the hearts and flowers of Oh my gosh, he came all the way t
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar After Ryan left, I listened
After Ryan left, I listened to all the voicemails and read all the texts. In fact, another eleven popped up when I turned the phone back on.Ryan’s were all super-concerned about me, and all of them were really sweet.“Hey, Kaitlyn, it’s Ryan… I’m really worried about you. Give me a call and just let me know you’re all right.”“Hey, it’s Ryan… I’m a little concerned that I haven’t heard from you. Could you give me a call or text, just to let me know everything’s okay?”“It’s Ryan. Just to give you fair warning, I got your information from Miles, and I’m dropping by your apartment in New York. I don’t want to freak you out, so I’m letting you know ahead of time. I guess I’ll see you in about eight hours. Hope this isn’t a problem for you. If it is, just leave me a message and I’ll turn around and go back.”I smiled throughout each of them.Derek, by contrast, was like listening to Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde, depending on the message. Half of them were pathetic, half of them were assholish
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar when we walked in
When we walked in, Glen was frosty to me, but immediately started doing his “I’m your biggest fan” dance with Ryan. Ryan was far friendlier than Derek had been. I mean, come on, it’s hard to get much worse than, ‘Take your tongue out of my ass, buddy.’ So in the end, we all settled into our chairs with a fair amount of goodwill and civility.The editor watched me closely, but his eyes kept glancing furtively over to Ryan.“So… you have the story?” he asked.“…no,” I said, my stomach feeling like there was a lead block inside it.I saw Glen’s hands clench together on the desk. “I see. And when do you think you’ll be able to get it to me?”I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and tried again. “…it might be a long time. It might be… a really, really long time.”Glen’s face started to turn pink with anger. “I hired you specifically to – ”“I know, Glen, I know, and I feel awful about it,” I said, and I did feel awful. In fact, I felt like shit. “But… we… broke up.
Last Updated : 2023-07-27Affair with the Rockstar i didn't find out
I didn’t find out Ryan had booked first class until the desk person came over the loudspeaker and announced that boarding the plane was about to begin.Ryan stood up and held out his hand to me. “Come on, that’s us.”I stared at him. “First class?! Ryan – !”“Hey, I’m a rock star,” he joked. “I have to keep up appearances.”“I’ll… I’ll pay you back. For this, and for Glen – ”“Kaitlyn, if I were in bad shape, would you give me fifty dollars?”“What?”“If I were starving, or hurt, would you give me fifty dollars? What you make in a couple of hours, say.”He was being overly generous with that ‘what you make in a couple of hours.’ That was more like what I averaged over a day.But I went with it. “Of course.”“And would you expect me to pay you back?”“No, of course not.”“Well, I basically gave you the equivalent of what I make in a couple of hours. So don’t worry about it, okay?”First: my mind was blown. That level of generosity was just staggering to me.Second: math. I was trying t
Last Updated : 2023-07-27
Latest chapter
Affair with the Rockstar we took little breaks
We took little breaks, drank water and wine, talked and whispered, touched and caressed… but we most definitely did it again.Three more times, by my count.It was after four AM when we finally dropped off into a deep slumber, our bodies intertwined.I woke up sometime after ten AM. I looked around me in wonder, hardly believing what had happened – or how lucky I was. Two gorgeous men on either side of me, the golden sunlight kissing their naked bodies, their cocks looking delectable as they slumbered.Neither of the boys was awake yet, so I carefully extracted myself, went into the bathroom and freshened up. Then I came back and reinserted myself back into the mix.Both guys opened their eyes sleepily as I slid between them.“Holy shit… did we do what I think we did?” Derek murmured.“Several times,” I giggled.“Wow,” Ryan muttered. Then he looked at me. “Did you… was it everything you hoped it would be?”I kissed him. “Without a doubt, last night was the best night of my entire life
Affair with the Rockstar Derek kissed me
Derek kissed me, his cock pressed hard against my belly – and then he pushed me back onto the bed. He stood above me, his erection jutting hard and stiff into the air, as he placed the condom on the head of his cock and slowly rolled it downwards.Ryan was looking left out and forlorn, so I gestured to him. He sank down on the bed and began to kiss me, his left hand playing with my breast.“Um…” Derek said.“I want to be able to kiss and touch both of you,” I said. “Not just one at a time.”Derek sighed. “Alright, fine. Just remember the rules, dude.”“Don’t worry about me,” Ryan said darkly.Derek lowered himself between my legs and began to lick his way up the inside of my thighs. I sighed and moaned as Ryan kissed me – and then he pulled away and stared into my eyes.At just that moment, Derek reached my pussy and slowly began to lick up my lips to my clit.One man going down on me, another staring into my eyes and caressing my face – it was one of the most erotic things I’d ever e
Affair with the Rockstar Ryan was the first to move
Ryan was the first to move. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned over and kissed me, slowly… sensually.As I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the kiss, another pair of hands slowly touched my waist. Derek.He brushed aside my hair, and I felt his warm lips on the back of my neck.I shivered, and a jumble of emotions surged through me all at once: fear. Excitement. Desire. Shame. Love. Longing. Uncertainty.Were we really going to do this?Was this really going to happen?As Ryan continued to kiss me, one of Derek’s hands tugged at my blouse, pulled it up out of my skirt, and brushed across my bare skin.Holy SHIT, this really WAS going to happen.I parted lips with Ryan, then felt a gentle tug at my hair. I turned my head slowly, as though in a trance – and Derek’s lips were there to meet mine.With Ryan’s taste still in my mouth, now I had Derek’s, as well – the slightly darker, smokier taste of his lips, his tongue.It felt wrong.But it was sooooo hot.Ryan began to nuz
Affair with the Rockstar A couple of times
A couple of times there was some angry shouting from the bedroom, but most of the talk was in hushed whispers. Under ordinary circumstances I might have been interested in eavesdropping, but I was so drained, I really couldn’t work up the enthusiasm. Besides, I knew what they were talking about: me.And they talked for a looooong time.After about ten minutes, I gave in and opened the wine. Like the classy lady I am, I swigged it right out of the bottle.Twenty minutes later I was finished with the wine and had a nice buzz going – probably due to my exhaustion as much as the alcohol – when they finally walked out.The stood in front of me, and this time it was me who waited anxiously.“Well?” I finally asked.“…okay,” Derek said.My eyes almost bugged out of my head.“What?!”“I said okay.”“I know what you said, but – ” I turned to Ryan. “You’re okay with this?”He looked unhappy. “I wouldn’t call it ‘okay,’ but… I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you.”“Same goes for me,” Derek agreed.
Affair with the Rockstar They stood there
They stood there staring at me mutely for what seemed like ages.Derek spoke first.“…what?”“I want both of you. I need both of you in my life.”“We’ve both been in your life the last few weeks, and I think we’ve seen how that worked out,” Ryan said darkly.“Which means you two are going to have to work it out and learn to live with each other – if you want to stay with me.” I turned to Derek. “I know you can’t be faithful. Not forever, anyway – ”“I can and I will,” he protested. “You just have to give me a chance.”“I already gave you a chance,” I said. “You even said back in Vegas that you would have cheated no matter what.”“That was the old me!”I shook my head. “I can’t – I won’t – be with somebody who would lie to me, who would rip away everything we built together like that,” I said, snapping my fingers.“I wouldn’t do that,” Derek protested.I just looked at him for a moment like, Really? REALLY. He sighed in pain. “You won’t ever trust me again, will you?”I hesitated for
Affair with the Rockstar Jessie's girl finally ended
“Jessie’s Girl” finally ended and they launched into one of the new songs, “Gold And Diamonds.” Derek didn’t alter anything in that one, but the shenanigans weren’t over yet. Not by a long shot.As soon as it was over, he announced to the crowd, “I’m thinkin’ another cover… what about ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’?”The Cars’ 1978 hit.He was sticking to a theme.Again, Killian looked panicked.Again, Ryan nodded his consent… but he looked like he might pop out a switchblade or a Saturday Night Special any second.Derek sang the song.I felt sick.Derek was trying to tear Ryan apart, all on account of me. Just because he was doing it by fucking with his head didn’t make it any less painful or brutal.Next up was a Bigger song – “Girl, Please Stay.” Which kind of stuck to the theme.The crowd sang along.Another spontaneous cover followed: Blink 182’s “Dammit.”Ryan agreed again when Killian looked at him, even though it was evident what Derek was doing. It was hard to miss when he changed t
Affair with the Rockstar After the interaction
After the interaction with Miles – one more strand of loss in my personal Gordian Knot – I lost my taste for any further drinking and went back upstairs.Ryan was already in bed. As soon as I came in, he rolled over. “Hey.”“Hey,” I said as I sat down on the edge.We stayed in uncomfortable silence for awhile.“I still want to be with you,” I said quietly.A long pause.“…but…” he said, waiting for the other shoe to drop.“I don’t know. I’m… I’m…”I started to cry. Not out of any attempt to get out of the discussion, but because I was so tired. And so worn down. And so unhappy about hurting so many people – including myself.Ryan is nothing if not a softie. He lay there for a few seconds listening to me, then stretched out his hand. “Come here.”I sniffled and crawled across the covers until I was nestled against his bare chest.“I want to be with you,” I whispered.“Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?”I nodded ‘yes,’ because I wasn’t entirely sure I could convince him with
Affair with the Rockstar i hastily wiped
I hastily wiped my tears off my cheek, then the taste of Derek off my lips.“Just a minute – ”There was the sound of a beep, and the click of the lock.The door opened before I could get it, and there stood Ryan.He looked furious.I cringed, imagining him about to say all the horrible things about myself I knew I deserved to hear – “Did he hurt you?” he asked, striding into the room and enveloping me in his arms.Oh my God…I was feeling so guilty about my desires, and all he could think of was if I was alright.“No,” I sobbed.“Tell me the truth – did he hurt you?” He held me out at arm’s length, his face a mask of fury. “I’ll kill him – so help me God, I’ll fucking – ”Our eyes met, and suddenly he knew.All the anger drained away and was replaced by hurt. But when he spoke, his voice was dead. “…you kissed him.”I exhaled shakily. “He kissed me.”His arms went slack and he let go of me. Just stood there, looking at me. Then he walked past me like he was in a trance, sat on the e
Affair with the Rockstar Austin City limited
Austin City Limits was only a week away.Bigger almost didn’t go. In fact, they wouldn’t have gone except for Riley.“You fuckin’ pussies can bail, but I’m not, and fuck ALL y’all if you try to say it’s cuz of me,” she said angrily as she sat up in her hospital bed.It was a band meeting with Derek, Killian, and Ryan in her hospital room on Sunday night. Miles was there, too, as was I. Megan had wanted to stay, but Riley forced her to catch a redeye back to New York so she could return to her med school classes Monday morning.“Riley, your health is the most important thing here,” Ryan said.“I’m fine.”“You’re not fine. You almost died.”“Well I’m not dead NOW, am I? So we’re playin’ the fuckin’ concert!”“Riley, you’re in no condition to play,” Derek said.“Fuck you – I’ve done gigs where I was beat up, bleeding, almost dead and I still played.”“Not with Bigger, you didn’t,” Miles growled.“No, not with fuckin’ Bigger, cause you’re all a bunch of pussies!”“As manager – ”“As manag
