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2023-07-21 02:31:47Related chapters
Affair with the Rockstar the night and riley
The night – and Riley’s story – continued amidst a flurry of shots.She talked about the various punk rock bands she’d been in through the years, including the one she’d started when she was sixteen, called ‘Fuck You.’ When she first heard Cee-lo Green’s song by the same name, she immediately changed the band name to ‘Punk Rock Bitches’ because she didn’t want people thinking she took her band name from a Top 40 hit. That would have been very un-punk rock. (Although, technically, the Top 40 hit was titled ‘Forget You,’ and ‘Fuck You’ was the naughty, alternate version… but that didn’t seem to matter to 16-year-old Riley.)She talked about how she started playing the drums when she was five years old, using overturned pots and pans as the bass and snares, and lids suspended on fishing line as the cymbals. Growing up, she got practice time on other kids’ real drum sets by trading them alcohol she shoplifted. She didn’t get her own set until she was seventeen, just three years before she
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar we were hurtling
We were hurtling towards the end of the tour like a runaway train.Things became a blur. One night of partying blended into the next; the concerts seemed to be one unending performance; one city transformed into another. I could barely distinguish between what happened in Vancouver versus Boise versus Denver. The only way to differentiate were things that were vastly out of the ordinary, like my interview with Riley. I’ll always remember Seattle because of that night. But otherwise, the only indicators were different skylines and the weather, and when you spend most of your time inside hotel rooms or concrete stadiums, every city looks the same.There were things that stood out, of course – both good and bad.One of my favorites was the time we were walking down the street on one of the band’s nights off. I don’t remember what city; it doesn’t even matter. But Derek, Ryan, Riley, and I were passing by a karaoke bar downtown when we heard somebody inside start singing one of Bigger’s h
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar so amidst all the
So, amidst all the hot and heavy memories, there were at least a couple that stood out because they were unpleasant.But there was one that was freakin’ awesome. And really, really unusual. And didn’t involve psychedelic mushrooms.We were in Salt Lake City at the time. I remember that because ‘the Mormons’ figured prominently in the conversation.The day after the performance, Derek and I decided to strike out and go see the Great Salt Lake. After a day of band practice, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision. We left the hotel around 7 o’clock in the evening and drove the Mercedes convertible he’d bought in Irvine.The Mercedes had become the bane of Miles’s existence, because it was one more thing to be taken care of. Crew members had to be assigned to drive it behind the tour bus as we moved from city to city, and then park it somewhere safe overnight. You never heard the crew members complain – hey, they got to drive a ‘69 Mercedes – but Miles was always super-pissed.“Thank you so
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar it all came crashing
It all came crashing to an end ten days later in Vegas.The last two concerts of the tour took place there, at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. The first show was an incredible success.At least something about those last few days was.Things really started to go south during the last band meeting, just hours before the final performance.I didn’t know it until everyone was assembled in the penthouse suite, but everybody was planning to go their separate ways after Vegas. Take some time off, then join back up two months later to begin recording their third album.It was strange to me. I thought of them as a tightly-knit family. I mean, they had lived together for over a year in a run-down house in one of the crappiest neighborhoods in Athens. And here they were about to split apart, even if only for a while.I sat between Derek and Ryan, with Killian and Riley opposite us. Miles was standing at the front of the room and currently running the show.“Alright, Killian, you’re going back to Lo
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar the last concert was
The last concert was just as good as the one the previous night. Maybe even better.The only difference was in the energy.It was edgier. Darker. Derek in particular was more aggressive, more combative. Bigger’s heavier, more metal-tinged songs turned downright brutal. Even the love songs had a bitterness to them.It was all in reaction to me and our fight earlier.I know, I know. You’re probably saying, Way to make it all about you, Kaitlyn. But I have some evidence to back it up.Exhibit A: Derek didn’t sing “Girl, Please Stay” at all.That was a mainstay of their shows, and a fan favorite. Especially a female fan favorite.But apparently he told the others he wasn’t doing it tonight, because it disappeared from the set list.And in light of our fight earlier, the fact that he didn’t sing it made me feel like shit.Exhibit B: the covers they played. Each one seemed like a subtle jab, a passive-aggressive blow.“No Apologies” by Nirvana.“She Fuckin’ Hates Me” by Puddle of Mud.“Give
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar i was watching the light
I was watching the lights of Las Vegas from the hotel suite’s gigantic glass windows, thinking how beautiful and uncomplicated it seemed out there, when I heard the door open.His boots whispered over the carpet until he was right behind me. I felt his strong arms circle around my waist.“You disappeared on me,” he murmured in my ear, then proceeded to kiss my neck.I almost gave in. It felt so good to be held by him… to feel his lips on my skin…But I didn’t.I shrugged him off and moved closer to the window. “Don’t.”There was a long pause behind me.Then a sigh.“Okay, I’m sorry. I was pissed off – ”“So you decided to call me a bitch in front of 20,000 people?”“The Garden only holds 16,000,” he said, trying for a lame joke.When I didn’t respond, he groaned. “I was singing a song. Nobody knew I was talking about you – ”“Ryan did. Killian did.”“Yeah, so did Riley, and I noticed you palling around with her at the after-party.”“I’m surprised you had enough time to notice, given h
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar after an hour
After an hour moping around in bed feeling sorry for myself, I decided to seize the opportunity. I would make the most of my solo flight! I would go have fun! I would have an awesome time recharging my batteries – alone!I was a good enough liar that I was able to get myself out of bed, shower, and go down to breakfast without crying again.After three mimosas, and feeling my spirits temporarily lifted, I decided to go see what the rest of the band was doing.Up in the penthouse, Killian was standing amongst a pile of suitcases playing his guitar. Ryan was sitting at his laptop, and Riley was nowhere to be seen.“You’re leaving already?” I asked Killian.“Got a noon flight to Heathrow,” he nodded, and took a puff on his joint.I remembered the stories Ryan had told me about Dr. Killian turning into Mr. Hyde… but wasn’t sure if I was supposed to let on that I knew. So I just said jokingly, “How are you going to survive the entire flight without any weed?”“Private jet,” Killian informe
Last Updated : 2023-07-21Affair with the Rockstar i got out my cell phone
I got out my cell phone and searched for the Wynn’s number. Then I retreated to Killian’s now-vacant bedroom (I could tell it was his by the lingering stench of pot smoke), found the telephone by the bed, steadied my trembling nerves, and dialed.After the main switchboard directed me to the front desk, a man’s voice answered on the first ring. He sounded moderately young, maybe mid- to late twenties.“This is the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas, how may I help you?”“Hello, I’m calling on behalf of Miles Sumner, the manager for the band Bigger. The lead singer, Derek Kane, is staying at your hotel, and we need to messenger over some contracts for him to sign immediately and send right back with the delivery man. Could you give me his room number, please?”There was a pause.Then –“Derek Kane?”As in, Really? Derek Kane is staying at our hotel?For the first time, I felt like I might actually have a shot.Then his voice dropped back down a notch to normal. “I’m sorry, but we can’t give out t
Last Updated : 2023-07-21
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Affair with the Rockstar we took little breaks
We took little breaks, drank water and wine, talked and whispered, touched and caressed… but we most definitely did it again.Three more times, by my count.It was after four AM when we finally dropped off into a deep slumber, our bodies intertwined.I woke up sometime after ten AM. I looked around me in wonder, hardly believing what had happened – or how lucky I was. Two gorgeous men on either side of me, the golden sunlight kissing their naked bodies, their cocks looking delectable as they slumbered.Neither of the boys was awake yet, so I carefully extracted myself, went into the bathroom and freshened up. Then I came back and reinserted myself back into the mix.Both guys opened their eyes sleepily as I slid between them.“Holy shit… did we do what I think we did?” Derek murmured.“Several times,” I giggled.“Wow,” Ryan muttered. Then he looked at me. “Did you… was it everything you hoped it would be?”I kissed him. “Without a doubt, last night was the best night of my entire life
Affair with the Rockstar Derek kissed me
Derek kissed me, his cock pressed hard against my belly – and then he pushed me back onto the bed. He stood above me, his erection jutting hard and stiff into the air, as he placed the condom on the head of his cock and slowly rolled it downwards.Ryan was looking left out and forlorn, so I gestured to him. He sank down on the bed and began to kiss me, his left hand playing with my breast.“Um…” Derek said.“I want to be able to kiss and touch both of you,” I said. “Not just one at a time.”Derek sighed. “Alright, fine. Just remember the rules, dude.”“Don’t worry about me,” Ryan said darkly.Derek lowered himself between my legs and began to lick his way up the inside of my thighs. I sighed and moaned as Ryan kissed me – and then he pulled away and stared into my eyes.At just that moment, Derek reached my pussy and slowly began to lick up my lips to my clit.One man going down on me, another staring into my eyes and caressing my face – it was one of the most erotic things I’d ever e
Affair with the Rockstar Ryan was the first to move
Ryan was the first to move. He cupped my face in his hands and leaned over and kissed me, slowly… sensually.As I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the kiss, another pair of hands slowly touched my waist. Derek.He brushed aside my hair, and I felt his warm lips on the back of my neck.I shivered, and a jumble of emotions surged through me all at once: fear. Excitement. Desire. Shame. Love. Longing. Uncertainty.Were we really going to do this?Was this really going to happen?As Ryan continued to kiss me, one of Derek’s hands tugged at my blouse, pulled it up out of my skirt, and brushed across my bare skin.Holy SHIT, this really WAS going to happen.I parted lips with Ryan, then felt a gentle tug at my hair. I turned my head slowly, as though in a trance – and Derek’s lips were there to meet mine.With Ryan’s taste still in my mouth, now I had Derek’s, as well – the slightly darker, smokier taste of his lips, his tongue.It felt wrong.But it was sooooo hot.Ryan began to nuz
Affair with the Rockstar A couple of times
A couple of times there was some angry shouting from the bedroom, but most of the talk was in hushed whispers. Under ordinary circumstances I might have been interested in eavesdropping, but I was so drained, I really couldn’t work up the enthusiasm. Besides, I knew what they were talking about: me.And they talked for a looooong time.After about ten minutes, I gave in and opened the wine. Like the classy lady I am, I swigged it right out of the bottle.Twenty minutes later I was finished with the wine and had a nice buzz going – probably due to my exhaustion as much as the alcohol – when they finally walked out.The stood in front of me, and this time it was me who waited anxiously.“Well?” I finally asked.“…okay,” Derek said.My eyes almost bugged out of my head.“What?!”“I said okay.”“I know what you said, but – ” I turned to Ryan. “You’re okay with this?”He looked unhappy. “I wouldn’t call it ‘okay,’ but… I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you.”“Same goes for me,” Derek agreed.
Affair with the Rockstar They stood there
They stood there staring at me mutely for what seemed like ages.Derek spoke first.“…what?”“I want both of you. I need both of you in my life.”“We’ve both been in your life the last few weeks, and I think we’ve seen how that worked out,” Ryan said darkly.“Which means you two are going to have to work it out and learn to live with each other – if you want to stay with me.” I turned to Derek. “I know you can’t be faithful. Not forever, anyway – ”“I can and I will,” he protested. “You just have to give me a chance.”“I already gave you a chance,” I said. “You even said back in Vegas that you would have cheated no matter what.”“That was the old me!”I shook my head. “I can’t – I won’t – be with somebody who would lie to me, who would rip away everything we built together like that,” I said, snapping my fingers.“I wouldn’t do that,” Derek protested.I just looked at him for a moment like, Really? REALLY. He sighed in pain. “You won’t ever trust me again, will you?”I hesitated for
Affair with the Rockstar Jessie's girl finally ended
“Jessie’s Girl” finally ended and they launched into one of the new songs, “Gold And Diamonds.” Derek didn’t alter anything in that one, but the shenanigans weren’t over yet. Not by a long shot.As soon as it was over, he announced to the crowd, “I’m thinkin’ another cover… what about ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’?”The Cars’ 1978 hit.He was sticking to a theme.Again, Killian looked panicked.Again, Ryan nodded his consent… but he looked like he might pop out a switchblade or a Saturday Night Special any second.Derek sang the song.I felt sick.Derek was trying to tear Ryan apart, all on account of me. Just because he was doing it by fucking with his head didn’t make it any less painful or brutal.Next up was a Bigger song – “Girl, Please Stay.” Which kind of stuck to the theme.The crowd sang along.Another spontaneous cover followed: Blink 182’s “Dammit.”Ryan agreed again when Killian looked at him, even though it was evident what Derek was doing. It was hard to miss when he changed t
Affair with the Rockstar After the interaction
After the interaction with Miles – one more strand of loss in my personal Gordian Knot – I lost my taste for any further drinking and went back upstairs.Ryan was already in bed. As soon as I came in, he rolled over. “Hey.”“Hey,” I said as I sat down on the edge.We stayed in uncomfortable silence for awhile.“I still want to be with you,” I said quietly.A long pause.“…but…” he said, waiting for the other shoe to drop.“I don’t know. I’m… I’m…”I started to cry. Not out of any attempt to get out of the discussion, but because I was so tired. And so worn down. And so unhappy about hurting so many people – including myself.Ryan is nothing if not a softie. He lay there for a few seconds listening to me, then stretched out his hand. “Come here.”I sniffled and crawled across the covers until I was nestled against his bare chest.“I want to be with you,” I whispered.“Are you absolutely sure that’s what you want?”I nodded ‘yes,’ because I wasn’t entirely sure I could convince him with
Affair with the Rockstar i hastily wiped
I hastily wiped my tears off my cheek, then the taste of Derek off my lips.“Just a minute – ”There was the sound of a beep, and the click of the lock.The door opened before I could get it, and there stood Ryan.He looked furious.I cringed, imagining him about to say all the horrible things about myself I knew I deserved to hear – “Did he hurt you?” he asked, striding into the room and enveloping me in his arms.Oh my God…I was feeling so guilty about my desires, and all he could think of was if I was alright.“No,” I sobbed.“Tell me the truth – did he hurt you?” He held me out at arm’s length, his face a mask of fury. “I’ll kill him – so help me God, I’ll fucking – ”Our eyes met, and suddenly he knew.All the anger drained away and was replaced by hurt. But when he spoke, his voice was dead. “…you kissed him.”I exhaled shakily. “He kissed me.”His arms went slack and he let go of me. Just stood there, looking at me. Then he walked past me like he was in a trance, sat on the e
Affair with the Rockstar Austin City limited
Austin City Limits was only a week away.Bigger almost didn’t go. In fact, they wouldn’t have gone except for Riley.“You fuckin’ pussies can bail, but I’m not, and fuck ALL y’all if you try to say it’s cuz of me,” she said angrily as she sat up in her hospital bed.It was a band meeting with Derek, Killian, and Ryan in her hospital room on Sunday night. Miles was there, too, as was I. Megan had wanted to stay, but Riley forced her to catch a redeye back to New York so she could return to her med school classes Monday morning.“Riley, your health is the most important thing here,” Ryan said.“I’m fine.”“You’re not fine. You almost died.”“Well I’m not dead NOW, am I? So we’re playin’ the fuckin’ concert!”“Riley, you’re in no condition to play,” Derek said.“Fuck you – I’ve done gigs where I was beat up, bleeding, almost dead and I still played.”“Not with Bigger, you didn’t,” Miles growled.“No, not with fuckin’ Bigger, cause you’re all a bunch of pussies!”“As manager – ”“As manag
