Accepting friendship

                I can’t remember the last time I was this excited for Monday to come. I nearly skip my morning coffee run in my hurry to get to work and see Jesse. Almost. I deserve my coffee treat. Just because my life has decided to go off the rails doesn’t mean I skip it. That would be blasphemy. Spending that last day off just stewing in all this new life changing information. Wilheim’s reaction to my magic makes me extremely cautious to mention it to anyone, but I know Jesse. At least better than I know anyone else. She has been a good friend. Or as good as she can be with me keeping her at arms length. Either way, I need help and who better to talk to than the amazingly sweet Faun I’ve been confiding in these past couple weeks. It isn’t until I walk into work and lay my eyes on her that my nerves truly get the best of me. She could freak out once I tell her. Tell someone that could make my life even worse. I don’t even know what this magic is to know the possible consequences.

                I take a nice deep breath as I head over to her. I know we will be working together again today so I’m just hoping the client isn’t home. I’m not sure I can wait the whole day before telling her. Between Wilheim and my magic and the demon angle. It’s a lot and I just need someone else to know at this point. I give her a small smile as I reach down to grab my supplies. I can do this.

“Good morning, Jesse.” I hope she can’t hear the slight tremble in my voice.

“Good morning, Cinna. Did you have a good weekend?” The smile she gives me could melt just about anybody. I hope her mate appreciates the warmth she brings into this world.

“It was not great. I was actually wondering if I could talk to you about a few things?” I know there’s desperation coating my words and probably my face. I don’t think I realized how powerless I felt about this whole thing until this moment.

“Of course. Are you ok?” The sympathy in her voice almost makes me want to cry. I have my reasons for keeping my distance, but her kindness has been slowly eating away at my resolve.

“No, maybe. I don’t know.” I let out a long sigh before continuing. “There’s just a lot that happened and I need someone to talk to about it and maybe help troubleshoot and I don’t know if my apartment is safe anymore.” I abruptly stop once I realize I’m rambling.

“What do you mean not safe anymore? Never mind. Let’s head to the clients house and talk there. It’s going to be ok. We will figure something out. Take a deep breath.” Her leaning over and giving me a hug was not what I expected to happen. It’s been so long since I’ve allowed any type of physical affection. It causes my body to freeze up for a split second before I bend over and hug her back.

                Disappointment surges through me when we are informed the client and their family will be there during the clean. Maybe we can find some time later to talk or maybe they will leave early. With my luck, I don’t anticipate that happening. By the time we finish cleaning, the client is still home. The whole way back to the company’s small warehouse, I feel dejected. Feeling a slight pressure behind my eyes, I’m horrified to realize that I’m about to cry. I expected not to have a chance to talk with her so I shouldn’t be so upset that I was right. I feel a gentle hand on my arm where I sit next to Jesse. I glance over and she gives me that soft smile of hers that lets you know she’s there for you without judgement.

“I’m sorry we didn’t have a chance to talk while we were there. Do you want to come over after we drop our supplies off? My mate isn’t going to be home for another couple hours so we will have some time to ourselves.” She’s been trying to get me to come to her house since we first met, but I’ve been avoiding it because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to attach myself to her life yet. This seems like a good enough excuse to finally give in. The hopeful look in her eyes quickly dissipates any lingering doubt I have.

I let out a quiet sigh of defeat. “Fine, I’ll come over, but only for a little bit. Look at you taking advantage of a good opportunity to get me to do what I’ve been avoiding.” I respond with a smirk to let her know I’m teasing and not actually upset about this turn of events.

“I would be lying if I said I wasn’t stoked that you’re finally coming over. I would rather it be under better circumstances, but alas this is what I have to work with.” She gives me a proud as fuck smile. If she wasn’t so adorable, I would be annoyed. I’m such a sucker for her happiness already. I can’t imagine how problematic this will become the longer I know her.

“I feel like this is going to happen a lot during our friendship. My life being crazy, leading to you using it as a way to get me out of my comfort zone. Good thing I like you.” I laugh at the absolute truth of my words which has her laugh joining mine.    

                We continue talking about little things the rest of the drive back. I find out that she has a dog named Budwich, buddy for short of course, and he is apparently a massive dog. She told me his breed, but I’ve never been much into dogs or their breeds so who knows. When I looked at her unsure, she assured me he is the sweetest dog in the world and I have nothing to fear. That only had me relaxing by a small margin. I’ve never had much interaction with dogs or really any animals before. Wilheim hates animals of any kind so they were never allowed in the house and I was never allowed to go out of my way to find one. Thinking back, that’s such a huge red flag. Anyone that hates animals, is clearly evil.

                On our way to her house, she again assures me that the dog is sweet as a button and her mate won’t be home for a while. I feel bad that she’s having to assure me over such small things, but I appreciate that she understands my struggle and instead of judging or calling me dramatic, she’s trying to make it easier on me. We pull up to the cutest little cottage I think I’ve ever seen. It’s on the small side, which just makes it that much more perfect. It makes me think that this is what I want my future home to look like. Not the crappy apartment I’m currently in or the huge house I lived in with Wilheim that never felt like a home. I haven’t even stepped out of the car and already this house feels like home. The deep breath I take as I get out of the car feels like the first one I’ve taken in years. The air is filled with the smell of warmth and wild flowers. Blowing out the breath feels like I’m blowing out all the stress I’ve been carrying since I escaped.

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Jesse watching me with a shy smile on her face. “I know it isn’t much.”

My eyes widen in absolute disbelief. “Isn’t much? This is amazing. Your house is amazing. I feel like I’m home, Jesse. You should be bragging about all this.” I swing my arm in an arc to encompass everything from the field of wildflowers next to her house to the huge garden she has further out. “I cannot believe you would describe this heaven as ‘not much’” I throw my hands on my hips to drill home how disappointed I am in her for her lack of pride in what she’s created here.

“You’re right, I should show more pride in what my mate and I have created here. I’ll have to let him know how you feel about our home. You haven’t even been inside yet and you’re already lecturing me. Unbelievable.” She says with a teasing tilt to her lips. “Did you want to head inside and talk or would you rather stay out here and lecture me?” The reminder of why I’m here erases the smile off my face. I want to stay out here forever, but I know I need to talk to her about what’s going on and we only have a short amount of time. I’d rather her mate doesn’t come home and overhear what’s been going on. It’s hard enough to tell Jesse and hope she doesn’t freak out. I’m not sure I could trust the same from a man I’ve never met before even if he is her mate.

                The second I walk through the doorway; I’m simultaneously impressed and unsurprised. The home is filled with bright colors, comfy looking furniture, and pictures hung up everywhere. It takes my brain a second to get use to the bombardment of color, but once I do, I can’t help but smile. This is exactly what I thought her house would look. Of course, the kind and bubbly person I’ve gotten to know has a house full of every color imaginable. I arch my eyebrow at her when it looks like she’s about to apologize again for her home. She snaps her mouth shut for a second before trying again.

“Did you want some tea or water or soda or coffee or anything?” Her nerves at me being here makes me feel a bit better about my own nervousness. New places still freak me out, but I’m trying and that’s what matters.

“Sure, I’m fine with a soda. Any kind. I’m not picky.” I give her a smile that I hope is reassuring.

“Soda it is then. You can sit anywhere you want. I’ll be back in a second.” She quickly hurries off while I sit on the couch.

                Before I can fully settle, a huge creature comes running at me from what I’m assuming is a back door. This is how I die. How embarrassing. Taken out by a giant pile of fur. I don’t even try to fight it. Hopefully I can pet it before it rips out my throat. Before it can reach me, I hear Jesse yell ‘Buddy!’. What I realize is now a dog, stops directly in front of me. It may be sitting, but its entire body is still wiggling like he can’t possibly contain his excitement. Jesse must see the horrified look on my face because she immediately starts apologizing. “I am so sorry! I thought he was out in the field. If I knew he was coming up to the house, I would’ve introduced you. His size freaks people out. They hear me say big dog, but don’t quite realize how big.” The guilt in her eyes makes me feel bad for the laugh that bursts free.

“Oh my Goddess, I thought I was going to die. I was thinking about how embarrassing it would be to get taken out by a giant fluff ball, but I would at least get to pet it before I died. I feel so ridiculous.” I somehow squeeze all that out through my laughter. Now Jesse is laughing and Buddy is getting even more excited.

                It takes a minute to get myself together. Once I’m calmed down, I slowly reach out to pet this beast of a dog. He doesn’t even let my hand make it halfway there before he shoves his head into my hand. He’s so soft. I don’t think I’ve ever touched anything this soft before in my life. I look up at Jesse with what I can only imagine is wonder on my face. I quickly add my other hand to join in on the petting. Buddy seems even happier than me at the petting that’s currently taking place. I can’t believe I thought he would be the end of me. His big body tries to crawl into my lap where he very much won’t fit. He’s easily 3 times my size. As I’m trying to push him down, Jesse finally walks over to us to help me get him off before he crushes me to death. It takes some serious work and lecturing from us to get Buddy to get off. He looks so sad; it makes me feel terrible. Good thing I know death would quickly follow if I gave into the guilt I’m feeling. I give him a side eye before turning to Jesse to get this shit show on the road. The soda she hands me isn’t one I’ve tried before. Pineapple seems like a weird flavor to put in soda, but I’m not going to reject her offer.