The cool breeze caresses my skin. I closed my eyes as I felt the coldness touch my skin. I breathed in and out deeply. I put both my hands on the hot cup in front of me. I took a small sip of my hot coffee.
Whenever I can't sleep, I just get myself a coffee and feel the cold breeze in the middle of the night. I looked at the sky full of stars.This is the life I wanted and dreamed for. A peaceful life.But I know that when the morning comes, everything will be back to normal. A stressful life and noisy people. Sometimes I wonder, if everyone was given the privilege to choose the kind of life and family that they live with, would everyone be at right hands and right path?But if I was given a chance? I think...I will never choose another family to live with...because the family I have in this lifetime, is beyond astonishing and amazing. I might feel unfortunate sometimes but I would always tell myself that it is okay in a family.I smiled at my thoughts.I was trying to call my mother on the phone but she's not answering. I bet they're already sleeping. It's been a week since the party happened. I have also sent money to my parents. I have also paid my pending fees at TSU until my last year there and my fridge is now full of vegetables, meat, and other foods.The money I got from my job is enough to survive. There is even more.When I finished my coffee, I went upstairs to continue my interrupted sleep.The sound of my phone ringing woke me up in the morning.I haven't even slept well yet, is there trouble again?I covered my ear with one of my pillows.But it seems that the caller has no intention of putting me to sleep today.I picked up my phone and answered the caller. I was ready to get mad at whoever disturbed my sleep when I was overtaken on the other side of the line."What the hell Ash?! You've been calling me for a while now? What? You just got the money and you're not going to answer my calls anymore? Well Ash! If that's the case then you'll only call me if you need something You tell me! So I know if I'll still give you what you earned or not!" Mama Nicole's long litany.I scratched my forehead because of what he said. Isn't that true? I just didn't answer his call and his litanies to me immediately?I took a deep breath and sat up."Mama, what's wrong? Your morning is so-" she cut me off."My god Ash! It's already 1 in the afternoon for god's sake!"I widened my eyes and looked for a clock because of what she said. And damn, she's right!"Mom, I'm sorry if I didn't answer your call. I just couldn't sleep last night that's why," I explained to her."And it's my fault?" He was grumpy."It's not. I know that it's my fault that's why I'm saying sorry right?" I gently answered him."Ah just tell me if you don't want to continue with my line of escorts! So that I can find a replacement for you. It's not easy to replace you.""I'm sorry again, Mom." I said sincerely.I checked my phone when silence enveloped in the other line. I thought she already ended the call but she didn't. It's still on-going.A deep sigh enveloped my ears."Hmm I have something to offer you. Come to the Bar later. You know where it is, Ash? No buts and no excuses." She then ended the call.I took a deep breath because of what he said. He knew I would refuse that's why he went ahead of me.With what she said, I already know what she is about to offer me. Another job means another man to pleasure and entertain. It also means another money.I got up from sitting and went to the bathroom to take a shower. I planned to clean my house today since it's Saturday but I know I have no time left. That's why I just arranged the inside of my room. The whole house is open.After what happened at the party, Jake never contacted me again. Our last interaction was at the school. Sometimes, we see each other in the hallway but he never struck up a conversation with me. The same is true in class.I thought that he would not be the Prof. last week but it turns out that our real Professor is still sick.I rode a tricycle to the Bar owned by Mama Nicole. I was going to wait for the driver to fill the tricycle but I said no and I'm ready to pay.I just don't want Mama Nicole to be mad at me again because I'm late. I know he has a temper with me that's why I won't make another reason to make his temper worse.I paid the driver when we got to the opposite Bar. I just say thank you to him then lead my way up to the hallway of the Bar.Loud music, people dancing, and people performing miracles enveloped my hearing and vision. I made my way to mom's office and knocked three times."Come in!"Mama Nicole is sitting on her chair while talking to someone on the phone. "Yes yes, Albert. Okay. I'll just call you again later. Bye." she then dropped her phone on her table.She looked at me and pointed to the visitor chair in front of her table. I immediately sat in the seat he pointed to.Looking at mama's face, you can easily identify her beauty. She's 47 already but her body shape and face is still so young and sexy and hot as fuck. You can't deny the beauty she has."You probably know why I sent you here today," he began.I just nodded my head at her. She's right. There's only one reason why she called me to come up in her office."There is an offer to you, exclusively. Andrei Carlson wants you to be her date for a week."I frowned at what he said. I already have an idea about what this meeting is, but... I can't understand her. She knows that I still have my contract on Jake and...she accepted another project again?"Mama, don't you think it will complicate my schedule with Jake? I still have a contract with him and that's a month! One week has already passed but there is still 3 weeks! I cannot cut myself into two and pleasure two men and a ti-" I argued which he immediately cut off because of a laugh."Ash, do you think I'm dumb? Do you think I didn't think of that? Of course, I've thought about those things too! God!""Then why are you offering it to me, mom? Can't you give it to other models, mom?""I am offering this to you because the client wants you exclusively! Are you not listening? Andrei wants you, not the other escort! I am offering this to you because your contract with Andrei will start when your contract with Jake ends! And what models are you talking about? You think so highly of yourself! You are escorts not models, stupid!" his long litany.The irritation on his face was obvious. He took a deep breath to calm himself before turning his attention back to me."Okay, now I want you to know the contract you have with Andrei. It is far different from Jake. Jake applied for a perfect combo while Andrei just wants you to be his date. Parang alalay. No touching. No kissing. No sex .Understand?""Mama, can't you give it to your other girls-""Oh God, Ash! The client wants you, exclusively! Meaning he only wants you! Damn you are so stupid! Get the contract and leave my office. Now!" he promised contemptuously."Yes, ma." I only said then left her office.I felt bad when I left Mama's office. It's always like this. I promise to myself that when my contract ends, I'm not going to sign for another contract anymore. I'm tired of this shit.I went to the bar table to ask for a shot of whiskey. "Oh, Ash, I just saw you here again?" Bryan asked."I'm busy, you know I'm studying right?"He is one of my close friends here at this bar. He's 23 years old and he's two years older than me.He smirked at me while getting my order. "Why do you even have to study? You're just wasting your time there, Ash." He gave me a glass of whiskey at the same time."It's not a waste of time because it's for my dream and for my family." I gave him a simple answer while reaching for the glass I was holding. I closed my eyes as the warm feeling hugged my throat.I looked at Bryan as he continued serving. I get his point...for him, studying is just a waste of time because he has his own responsibility and priority. For him, he needs to work immediately to provide fo
Jake was kissing me roughly while his hands were massaging my breasts. He bit my lower lip, which caused me to moan, and he used that as a chance to enter his tongue into my mouth. His tongue explores every part of my mouth.We both gasped when our lips parted."Good morning, Ash." He held my face and showered many small kisses on my lips."Good morning, too," I answered back.His kisses went down to my jaw, down to my neck, and down to my collarbone. He's kissing me on my collarbone now while I'm holding his hair. My head looked up as I bit my bottom lip because of the pleasure he was giving me now.He looked at me as he grabbed the end of my spaghetti strap. He tore it up, which added to the tension I was feeling now.Fuck, I'm very sure I'm wet down there already.He also tore my bra. He stared at it for a few seconds before grabbing it. One was mouthful while the other was holding his hand."Ughhh, J-Jake..." I can't help but moan his name because of the sensation I'm feeling righ
"Are we really not going to include them?" I asked Jake when he told me that the twins will be left behind their house.I would like to say that we should take them with us because they will be left alone there and only the housemaids will be there to be with them. However, I know my limits and boundaries. Jake is their brother. He knows what is good for them more than what I know.Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly. It's obvious that he's just holding back his patience and I'm afraid that at any moment, he can kick me out of his house."Please, Ash..." He said with difficulty as if he was about to lose his patience.Well, if that's what he says. I just feel sorry for the twins. Of course they have their own housemaids. But still...I just shook my thoughts and followed Jake out of the house. I saw Lake waving at me while Take was frowning. I was surprised when Take's lips slowly lifted.He grinned!Because of what I witnessed, I also smiled. "Ash, come on..." Jake s
Watching the people around me is terrifying. It does show how different I am to them. It does provide the answers to my questions. Why were they given the things I asked for? Or is it better to say "she". Why was she given the man I asked for?On this day, the future we once dreamed for is already shattered, broken, and will never be fixed again, like my heart. I want to ask why but I won't stoop that low again. I want you to tell the reasons without me asking. I want you to come back to me without me begging. Because the last time I asked you, your answers didn't make me happy. And every time I think about everything, I don't deserve you as much as you don't deserve me.From this day until your last breath, you will face and greet the mornings with her face as your first view. You will be eating breakfast with her and much worse you will be eating her for the rest of your life.I chuckled because of the thoughts running in my mind.I gathered all my remaining strength and finally sho
"Always put in your mind the reasons why we're doing these—helping other people, giving them their needs, and providing everything we can to make their lives be more comfortable... for them." he looked at us one by one and then he nodded.This is how I see my life—meaningful. Helping other people who are in need is one of the things I like to do. That's really it, isn't it? When you have the means of helping other people, you must help them without expecting in return."Ash, let's go home together huh? I'll just get my things." said Gizelle.This is my fifth month here in this organization. And during those five months, I became closer to other members just like Gizelle.I nodded to her and went straight to my things to get ready also.We just finished giving medicines and ready-to-eat foods to people living on the streets. I want to give them a house that they can live with. But I don't have the means to do so. The only thing I can provide is my service, this is the means I have that
"Hey Ash, you've been quiet for a while now. I've been talking to you and you're not even listening. Are you still thinking about what happened yesterday?" I turned to Gizelle who looked at me sadly."Of course not, I'm just not really in the mood to talk." I lied.She winced because of my answer. Well, I'm not talking because I'm not in the mood to do so. I do not know. Since what happened yesterday, I have already lost my appetite."It's better if we go back at the organization a minute before our break is over." said Gizelle.We just threw away the plastics of our food and then we went straight to the organization. Every week, donations come to the organization and every week we also prepare them before handing them out to the poorest of the poor."Gizelle, count the canned foods so we can divide how many canned foods we will give to each one," said Joy, one of our fellow volunteers.Gizelle frowned because of Joy's order. I don't know about Gizelle. As soon as I entered here, she
The visitors greeted him one after the other as we entered his home. His house is as big as the mansions I'm seeing in the movies. I looked at the person next to me who was still talking to his guests. I've been standing by his side for a while now but no one has noticed me yet.Jake took a glance at me and held my hand. "Aunt Helen, this is Ash my date for tonight," Jake introduced me to them. I gave them a small but sweet smile. "She's currently taking Business Management in TSU." he is still proud but it seems like it doesn't matter to those who are in front of us.He excused himself for a moment when someone talked to him. I gave the people in front of us my best smile and then held out my hand."Hi! I'm Ash and I am currently taking up Busin-" I said and was immediately cut off by an old woman whom I didn't know."Are you repeating yourself? Jake already introduced you. We don't need to hear your voice dear," she smiled at me but it was obviously fake and sarcastic. I lowered my
"Are we really not going to include them?" I asked Jake when he told me that the twins will be left behind their house.I would like to say that we should take them with us because they will be left alone there and only the housemaids will be there to be with them. However, I know my limits and boundaries. Jake is their brother. He knows what is good for them more than what I know.Jake took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly. It's obvious that he's just holding back his patience and I'm afraid that at any moment, he can kick me out of his house."Please, Ash..." He said with difficulty as if he was about to lose his patience.Well, if that's what he says. I just feel sorry for the twins. Of course they have their own housemaids. But still...I just shook my thoughts and followed Jake out of the house. I saw Lake waving at me while Take was frowning. I was surprised when Take's lips slowly lifted.He grinned!Because of what I witnessed, I also smiled. "Ash, come on..." Jake s
Jake was kissing me roughly while his hands were massaging my breasts. He bit my lower lip, which caused me to moan, and he used that as a chance to enter his tongue into my mouth. His tongue explores every part of my mouth.We both gasped when our lips parted."Good morning, Ash." He held my face and showered many small kisses on my lips."Good morning, too," I answered back.His kisses went down to my jaw, down to my neck, and down to my collarbone. He's kissing me on my collarbone now while I'm holding his hair. My head looked up as I bit my bottom lip because of the pleasure he was giving me now.He looked at me as he grabbed the end of my spaghetti strap. He tore it up, which added to the tension I was feeling now.Fuck, I'm very sure I'm wet down there already.He also tore my bra. He stared at it for a few seconds before grabbing it. One was mouthful while the other was holding his hand."Ughhh, J-Jake..." I can't help but moan his name because of the sensation I'm feeling righ
I felt bad when I left Mama's office. It's always like this. I promise to myself that when my contract ends, I'm not going to sign for another contract anymore. I'm tired of this shit.I went to the bar table to ask for a shot of whiskey. "Oh, Ash, I just saw you here again?" Bryan asked."I'm busy, you know I'm studying right?"He is one of my close friends here at this bar. He's 23 years old and he's two years older than me.He smirked at me while getting my order. "Why do you even have to study? You're just wasting your time there, Ash." He gave me a glass of whiskey at the same time."It's not a waste of time because it's for my dream and for my family." I gave him a simple answer while reaching for the glass I was holding. I closed my eyes as the warm feeling hugged my throat.I looked at Bryan as he continued serving. I get his point...for him, studying is just a waste of time because he has his own responsibility and priority. For him, he needs to work immediately to provide fo
The cool breeze caresses my skin. I closed my eyes as I felt the coldness touch my skin. I breathed in and out deeply. I put both my hands on the hot cup in front of me. I took a small sip of my hot coffee.Whenever I can't sleep, I just get myself a coffee and feel the cold breeze in the middle of the night. I looked at the sky full of stars.This is the life I wanted and dreamed for. A peaceful life.But I know that when the morning comes, everything will be back to normal. A stressful life and noisy people. Sometimes I wonder, if everyone was given the privilege to choose the kind of life and family that they live with, would everyone be at right hands and right path?But if I was given a chance? I think...I will never choose another family to live with...because the family I have in this lifetime, is beyond astonishing and amazing. I might feel unfortunate sometimes but I would always tell myself that it is okay in a family.I smiled at my thoughts.I was trying to call my mother
The visitors greeted him one after the other as we entered his home. His house is as big as the mansions I'm seeing in the movies. I looked at the person next to me who was still talking to his guests. I've been standing by his side for a while now but no one has noticed me yet.Jake took a glance at me and held my hand. "Aunt Helen, this is Ash my date for tonight," Jake introduced me to them. I gave them a small but sweet smile. "She's currently taking Business Management in TSU." he is still proud but it seems like it doesn't matter to those who are in front of us.He excused himself for a moment when someone talked to him. I gave the people in front of us my best smile and then held out my hand."Hi! I'm Ash and I am currently taking up Busin-" I said and was immediately cut off by an old woman whom I didn't know."Are you repeating yourself? Jake already introduced you. We don't need to hear your voice dear," she smiled at me but it was obviously fake and sarcastic. I lowered my
"Hey Ash, you've been quiet for a while now. I've been talking to you and you're not even listening. Are you still thinking about what happened yesterday?" I turned to Gizelle who looked at me sadly."Of course not, I'm just not really in the mood to talk." I lied.She winced because of my answer. Well, I'm not talking because I'm not in the mood to do so. I do not know. Since what happened yesterday, I have already lost my appetite."It's better if we go back at the organization a minute before our break is over." said Gizelle.We just threw away the plastics of our food and then we went straight to the organization. Every week, donations come to the organization and every week we also prepare them before handing them out to the poorest of the poor."Gizelle, count the canned foods so we can divide how many canned foods we will give to each one," said Joy, one of our fellow volunteers.Gizelle frowned because of Joy's order. I don't know about Gizelle. As soon as I entered here, she
"Always put in your mind the reasons why we're doing these—helping other people, giving them their needs, and providing everything we can to make their lives be more comfortable... for them." he looked at us one by one and then he nodded.This is how I see my life—meaningful. Helping other people who are in need is one of the things I like to do. That's really it, isn't it? When you have the means of helping other people, you must help them without expecting in return."Ash, let's go home together huh? I'll just get my things." said Gizelle.This is my fifth month here in this organization. And during those five months, I became closer to other members just like Gizelle.I nodded to her and went straight to my things to get ready also.We just finished giving medicines and ready-to-eat foods to people living on the streets. I want to give them a house that they can live with. But I don't have the means to do so. The only thing I can provide is my service, this is the means I have that
Watching the people around me is terrifying. It does show how different I am to them. It does provide the answers to my questions. Why were they given the things I asked for? Or is it better to say "she". Why was she given the man I asked for?On this day, the future we once dreamed for is already shattered, broken, and will never be fixed again, like my heart. I want to ask why but I won't stoop that low again. I want you to tell the reasons without me asking. I want you to come back to me without me begging. Because the last time I asked you, your answers didn't make me happy. And every time I think about everything, I don't deserve you as much as you don't deserve me.From this day until your last breath, you will face and greet the mornings with her face as your first view. You will be eating breakfast with her and much worse you will be eating her for the rest of your life.I chuckled because of the thoughts running in my mind.I gathered all my remaining strength and finally sho