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6. Cillian
Last Updated:
2022-12-02 00:10:50Related chapters
A Damaged Alpha 7. Matilda
I scuttled into the kitchens as soon as dawn broke and I was still too late. Bianca Jackson was already there, her shining black hair hidden under a white baker's hat. “You know we don’t mind you staying behind Tilly but you really can’t leave it like that. We’ll get rats!” “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” the name Tilly firing me straight back into childhood. I loved that Cillian always called me Matilda. In fact I loved everything about him endlessly already. Nina purred with contentment in my mind as we contemplated last night for the thousandth time. “It was a long day yesterday,” she said, “did you get to talk to him in the end?” Did everyone in the packhouse already know? Had I somehow mindlinked my thoughts to everyone? With a cough and a splutter I managed to mutter “No, I didn’t get to chat to him.” “Ah well, Jackson told me he has back-to-back meetings today, you had better make some good food. Who knows how he has been eating during his time away.” I smiled and pul
Last Updated : 2022-12-03A Damaged Alpha 8. Matilda
The silence between us made the sound of my pulse uncomfortably loud in my ears. My shyness hits me like a tidal wave as everything I want to do ebbs away. I want to stride up to him, plant my lips on his and tell him I’ve missed him. Because it’s the truth. Yet here I am, mouth dangling open like a stunned fish. “Hey, are you okay?” and he took a step towards me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” His tender tone helped to melt some of the panic. He was still my friend, even if the other night might turn out to have been an error. My self-belief won’t allow me to hope for more. “I was just surprised to see you. Are you waiting for someone, I can go back inside and get them-” “I’m waiting for you, I’m heading out in the truck,” came the firm reply. My words dried up. So it hadn’t been a dream. Beyond the small alleyway, fire torches crackled, and the moon shone above. It felt like everything apart from Cillian was a void of nothingness, the only light was around him. Cillian wanting t
Last Updated : 2022-12-04A Damaged Alpha 9. Cillian
I’m racing north. I’ve got to find that purple eyed woman again. Retrace my steps, find that grubby old inn where I passed out and get some answers. I lost Vez there. She was the last person I spoke to. It’s got to be linked to her. My insides are swirling with guilt, apprehension and fear. By doing this on my own am I being a traitor to my pack? I told Jackson and Franz I was heading out to see if I could pick up the trail of my parents' killers. Not that I was hunting down some woman I may or may not have slept with. Jackson didn’t say anything but his face screwed up enough for me to know he disagreed with what I am doing. I would have said the same in his shoes. The brand new Alpha simply shouldn’t go running off and abandoning his packhouse the instant he has a free moment. But what is an Alpha without his wolf? I cannot keep dodging mind-links. Fortunately the newness of my situation, my youth, my grief are all on my side. People are willing to overlook something as peculiar
Last Updated : 2022-12-04A Damaged Alpha 10. Cillian
I leapt to my feet, my whisky glass abandoned. “Tell me everything! When were they found?”As the information flowed I became aware of Jackson. His head had sunk low, his huge chin resting on his black bear. Somehow he seemed smaller, less powerful. The wind had been stolen from his sails and he had been rendered mortal. “Jackson I am so sorry. Anton was-”“Anton believed in this pack. He loved your father, he loved you. He died doing what is right.”Jackson is trying to spare my feelings even in the depths of his own grief. The man has lost his son. We all know the four warriors died following my instructions. I wanted the syringe back at all costs. With my angry tongue and unthinking demands had I sent four of our best warriors to their death? “Who else was at the scene? Any witnesses, suspects? Did…” as I gulped at the pointlessness of my question, “did we find the syringe?”“No. The syringe remains with its holder,” Zeke growled, pacing towards the window. His energy was abuzz w
Last Updated : 2022-12-05A Damaged Alpha 11. Cillian
Sat in the truck with Franz I forced myself to come clean. About everything. I don’t know why but even though Jackson was the obvious choice to confide in, he was my fathers confidante. I need my own team. “Well that’s just fucked up. Your wolf is gone? Like totally silent?” “Seriously, it's horrific.” Even that description didn’t cover the aching loneliness I felt. A part of me was missing. Franz kept his eyes on the road, clenching his cheeks on and off as he tried to come up with a solution. “So you’ve been back to the place to find the girl?” “Nothing. All shut up and abandoned. That was last week's trek.” “I think you’re going to need bigger assistance. What about the Fates?” “Shit, I didn’t want to start going down that route straight away,” I sigh. It is a good idea though. One of those old crones might know something about what has happened to me perhaps. Or the girl. Or if this was all part of my plan and I was always meant to end up a wolfless failure. “Stop beating y
Last Updated : 2022-12-06A Damaged Alpha 12. Matilda
I was absolutely floored by our four pack members' death. I wept along with everyone else, especially on discovering they had been buried where they were found. Too savaged to be given back to the Goddess via the funeral pyre. What their final moments must have felt like was the fuel of my nightmares.We all came together in the town square of Cragstone. Donning black and offering blessings and wishes to their parents and siblings. All this took place without our Alpha. Jackson was not able to preside so my father, Beta Kharkov found himself taking on more duties. Nobody wanted to talk about it but it seemed as though Jackson had reached his limits. Losing his eldest son had left him fragile, under the care of his wife and daughters.With the packhouse not having Cillian in residence there were no large meetings to cater for, the place felt abandoned and empty. From having four large personalities in residence, constant noise and activity it was unnerving to see it so quiet.It mean
Last Updated : 2022-12-07A Damaged Alpha 13. Matilda
I expected Cillian to be surprised, to hopefully kiss me back and wrap his arms around me. I knew my brown eyes would be shimmering with gold, full of desire and need for him.I had taken my leap, this was the bravest thing I have ever done but I don’t feel his hands on me. Shit, I’ve made such a huge mistake. I end my kiss, open my eyes and look at him. His hands are gripping the table so firmly his knuckles are white.“I thought…I wanted to show you I want you too. What's the matter?” Cillians' eyes blazed with bright blue, no sign of his iris changing but his face was a storm of emotion. Every muscle in his body was tense. “I don’t want to…to do things the wrong way.”“What would be the wrong way?”“I’m gripping this table because if I place my hands on you…I don’t know where I’ll stop.”Caught in silence I looked at him steadily. Knowing he felt that strongly about me had my heart racing. The heat between my legs, yearning for him was undeniable. Nina prompted a devious little t
Last Updated : 2022-12-07A Damaged Alpha 14. Cillian
I did the best that I could. I held out for as long as possible. I’ve even broken a chunk of my fathers huge mahogany desk off by trying to do the right thing. When she started stripping off in front of me, declaring she only wanted me, the compass of right and wrong spun around dizzyingly fast. Finally touching that gossamer skin, so perfect and smooth, assured me I had made the right decision. Her body is more perfect than I could have imagined. The months of my life I have spent forbidding myself to imagine her in this way. Splayed open, her legs wide and beckoning. Thighs glistening, her pretty little voice keening with need. Everything I never dared to dream of having. It was perfect when she broke out into a joyous laugh afterwards, her huge smile like the purest sunbeam. Despite having seen every inch of her body, it is still her smile that I adore the most. That will never change.She raised a hand to cover it, always self-conscious of her bubbly cheeks, but as she was stil
Last Updated : 2022-12-08
Latest chapter
A Damaged Alpha Epilogue - Cillian
We are three weeks into this war with the Hybrid Army. My mind buzzes with mindlinks. The silence and lack of activity only raises tension as we stare down the country roads. Men are positioned on clifftops, every vehicle movement monitored.Staring for hours down a silent valley of green forest I couldn't help reminiscing. The surprise at seeing Maddox, carrying his hurriedly written sealed letter. He arrived just after the Full Moon Dance, the single, unmated hopefuls having completed their line ups. I was relieved none of my battalion made a match, to rip that new bond apart would be brutal. He stood panting as I read how Helena had made the move to declare war via ripping Beta Patrick’s eye out. I was shocked, but I wasn’t against the move. It's unhealable too, it used to mean someone who abused women. It’s still the sign of a criminal today. He took the vials of all those stolen wolves. He's guilty as sin and I'll happy rake his other eye when I get chance.Sadly, Maddox’s arriv
A Damaged Alpha Epilogue - Genevieve
He is a beast. In the best possible way. He slinks around on the bed like some lazy, dark-eyed cat. Then, in an instant he’s full of fire. The intensity in his eyes is breathtaking. How much he cares for his pack. The way he sends me to heaven with his touch. How beautifully his muscular body shines in the water, the droplets from his black hair landing on me like drum beats as he devoured me. I’m in love with every single side of himWe have marked each other, we’re bound to other body and soul, and yet there are still surprises. The strip-sparring was the silliest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I had to beg him to stop in case I was sick, wrapped up together in a heap on the floor. And he let me win, just like he said he would back before our attack.It felt wrong to have enjoyed the past few days so much when we walked into the yellow parlour room. There was no mistaking the sound of her voice as he opened the large wooden door. Nikolai’s big sister is a curious personality. Lik
A Damaged Alpha Epilogue - Nikolai
There was no secrecy or hidden drop-off by the steely-eyed Maddox as we approached White Forest castle's courtyard. The flags fluttered at half-mast in formal mourning. A quick shudder raced down my spine.The drive saw Maddox had fill Vee and I in on the events of the past week. Phillipe had been sniffing around my parents the instant the news of my alleged death broke. Maddox had overheard at least one enquiry about their intention to still lead. Reminding them Freya was here to help. A peaceful conquest.“Is Freya okay?” Vee asked, her green eyes full of worry. “She must have been devastated at the news.”“She’s been in a bad way. Not much let up on the crying to be honest the couple of times I’ve seen her.”Coldly I interrupted Maddox, “the more upset she is now, the more likely that hurt will propel her into doing the right thing. Rejecting Phillipe and getting the hell away from him.”Then the sweet, teasing voice of Vee filtered through./The prophecy Padgett gave me. She said t
A Damaged Alpha 58. Matilda
I almost dropped to the floor when I saw my sisters. The copper-haired dark-eyed stares of my beautiful little sisters. All dressed up and already squealing with excitement. A year younger than me, Leona and Naomi wore cream and beige-toned clinging maxi-gowns, their athletic shapes on display. At just sixteen, Eleanour wore an elaborate white concoction that had an insane amount of feathers. She was a gold, white and silver bonanza. Little Phoebe, our baby of thirteen, sported a bright pink, almost flamenco style dress.“What are you all doing here? You all look so beautiful! Oh Goddess I am so pleased to see you all!” I cried as we hugged, most of us trying to stop any tears from spoiling our make-up.Leona inhaled sharply after the initial elation dialled down, trying to stop her tears escaping. Taking my hand she whispered. “This was Alpha Cillian’s idea. He knew that Papa would have wanted to give us away at our Ceremonies, so he suggested we start a new tradition in his honour.
A Damaged Alpha 57. Matilda
"This space is ours now. Brand new just for us?" I asked softly, my fingertips gently wandering up Cillians chest. My other hand entwined with his, my wrist against his, feeling the strength of his pulse against mine."Our suite. Our space. Not soundproofed, yet though," he added and I smiled. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and got on my tiptoes. Whispering into his ear as my free hand now searched downwards his body jerked into life. "Well the room needs christening Alpha. It's bad luck for us to leave now…and I'm too loud…"His eyebrow raised and then as I started gently massaging the front of his pants. Letting go of his hand as I deftly began unbuttoning. First his shirt then pants, all the while rubbing and toying with the ever-stiffening bulge I was longing to see. He shut his eyes, hissing as I grew braver.Placing kisses down his neck, on his mark and down his chest his breathing quickened. I sucked and licked every ridge of muscle, I thoroughly followed the sharply defined
A Damaged Alpha 56. Cillian
The scarlet blush on Genevieve’s face as I told her I would be sending the bill for the redecoration to White Forest was sweet revenge. Certainly not revenge enough for walking to Nikolai’s bare ass and my office turned into a dilapidated sex den, but Matilda had asked me so sweetly not to be angry about it I yielded. Nikolai was more serious, completely straight-faxed. He, naturally, wanted to know everything about his parents' reaction. He only started grinning when I said his father had gone full claws-out rage at me.As he proudly strutted about, occasionally wrapping an arm around Gen’s waist while he listened I was amazed at his strength. The fact he had recovered so swiftly from the tired heap yesterday showed just how immensely powerful his wolf was. No wonder he had struggled for control before. Barely concealing a smirk as we stood paper-strewn wreckage, “I thought he might flare up."“No heads-up though?” “Nah, you’re quicker than him, but he’s scary as fuck when he gets
A Damaged Alpha 55. Matilda
He resembled his father so strongly. Dark coffee brown eyes with flashes of ruby and jet black curls down to his jawline. Clenched tightly he looked ready to cause some damage if I didn’t stop gaping with an open mouth and answer him quickly.“Gen came to chat to me, I asked if we could swap rooms, have a change of scenery,” I lied, as Gen had blushingly begged me to. She wanted to surprise Nikolai with the reason why he was moving rooms. I wasn’t going to start asking too many questions about their sex life. I knew the power of the mate bond, the way one’s wolf keens and yearns for the other's touch. /Locked in a room, unable to make a sound together, you’d have climbed onto the roof and made for the trees with Cillian/ Nina mocked. I always considered myself fairly shy and boring but I have become alarmingly addicted to what Cillian can do to me. I am no different to Gen in craving my soul’s partner.“Swapping rooms? Is she insane? Is this a trick, are you in danger?” his voice dr
A Damaged Alpha 54. Matilda
I’ve never experienced such a swing of emotions. When Cillian is here everything is joy. Even though war is coming and the preparations are clear to see across the town centre if he is in my eyeline I am the happiest woman on earth.Groups of men are being organised into battalions, put through drills and formations. I watched as the first batches were taken almost within an hour of us first arriving back alongside the pyre. Alongside the still smoking heap of collapsed wood men were completing their circuits. Group after group of exhausted, sweating semi-naked men tumbled into the square, all timed with a stopwatch by a stone-faced Zeke and his clipboard.Losing Franz has broken him inside. He’s hurting with nowhere to let it out. When I was fixing him up back at Tange’s he confessed to me how much he hated Zena.“She just walked out, for the exact amount of time it took to kill Franz? I don’t buy it,” he had scoffed. “Just left him there!”At the time I didn’t know what to say. I d
A Damaged Alpha 53. Cillian
Beta’s Maddox and Adrian led me away, leaving a quietly distraught Helena and Alexander with the letter. Deposited in a library with huge vaulted stone ceilings, candelabras, and endless lines of bookshelves containing detailed historical records. Rise and fall is inevitable. I know in my bones Shadowlands is too young a pack to be cut down now. We will prosper. Finding out how Phillipe is protecting himself from harm is a big one. There is always the danger that killing Ruth would still leave him as Alpha, wielding power. “Mind if I read while I wait?”“No problem. It’s only the public record, anyway,” Beta Adrian replied, taking a seat by the door. Maddox kept his thick, tattooed arms folded. He wasn’t taking his eyes off me for a second.Random curiosity made me grab the books covering years when my father was a Beta here. He was head of the Beta Warriors and fought against the now defunct Five Lakes pack two decades ago. I read for hours about the lead-up to the attack, culmina
