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7. Matilda
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A Damaged Alpha 8. Matilda
The silence between us made the sound of my pulse uncomfortably loud in my ears. My shyness hits me like a tidal wave as everything I want to do ebbs away. I want to stride up to him, plant my lips on his and tell him I’ve missed him. Because it’s the truth. Yet here I am, mouth dangling open like a stunned fish. “Hey, are you okay?” and he took a step towards me. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” His tender tone helped to melt some of the panic. He was still my friend, even if the other night might turn out to have been an error. My self-belief won’t allow me to hope for more. “I was just surprised to see you. Are you waiting for someone, I can go back inside and get them-” “I’m waiting for you, I’m heading out in the truck,” came the firm reply. My words dried up. So it hadn’t been a dream. Beyond the small alleyway, fire torches crackled, and the moon shone above. It felt like everything apart from Cillian was a void of nothingness, the only light was around him. Cillian wanting t
A Damaged Alpha 9. Cillian
I’m racing north. I’ve got to find that purple eyed woman again. Retrace my steps, find that grubby old inn where I passed out and get some answers. I lost Vez there. She was the last person I spoke to. It’s got to be linked to her. My insides are swirling with guilt, apprehension and fear. By doing this on my own am I being a traitor to my pack? I told Jackson and Franz I was heading out to see if I could pick up the trail of my parents' killers. Not that I was hunting down some woman I may or may not have slept with. Jackson didn’t say anything but his face screwed up enough for me to know he disagreed with what I am doing. I would have said the same in his shoes. The brand new Alpha simply shouldn’t go running off and abandoning his packhouse the instant he has a free moment. But what is an Alpha without his wolf? I cannot keep dodging mind-links. Fortunately the newness of my situation, my youth, my grief are all on my side. People are willing to overlook something as peculiar
A Damaged Alpha 10. Cillian
I leapt to my feet, my whisky glass abandoned. “Tell me everything! When were they found?”As the information flowed I became aware of Jackson. His head had sunk low, his huge chin resting on his black bear. Somehow he seemed smaller, less powerful. The wind had been stolen from his sails and he had been rendered mortal. “Jackson I am so sorry. Anton was-”“Anton believed in this pack. He loved your father, he loved you. He died doing what is right.”Jackson is trying to spare my feelings even in the depths of his own grief. The man has lost his son. We all know the four warriors died following my instructions. I wanted the syringe back at all costs. With my angry tongue and unthinking demands had I sent four of our best warriors to their death? “Who else was at the scene? Any witnesses, suspects? Did…” as I gulped at the pointlessness of my question, “did we find the syringe?”“No. The syringe remains with its holder,” Zeke growled, pacing towards the window. His energy was abuzz w
A Damaged Alpha 11. Cillian
Sat in the truck with Franz I forced myself to come clean. About everything. I don’t know why but even though Jackson was the obvious choice to confide in, he was my fathers confidante. I need my own team. “Well that’s just fucked up. Your wolf is gone? Like totally silent?” “Seriously, it's horrific.” Even that description didn’t cover the aching loneliness I felt. A part of me was missing. Franz kept his eyes on the road, clenching his cheeks on and off as he tried to come up with a solution. “So you’ve been back to the place to find the girl?” “Nothing. All shut up and abandoned. That was last week's trek.” “I think you’re going to need bigger assistance. What about the Fates?” “Shit, I didn’t want to start going down that route straight away,” I sigh. It is a good idea though. One of those old crones might know something about what has happened to me perhaps. Or the girl. Or if this was all part of my plan and I was always meant to end up a wolfless failure. “Stop beating y
A Damaged Alpha 12. Matilda
I was absolutely floored by our four pack members' death. I wept along with everyone else, especially on discovering they had been buried where they were found. Too savaged to be given back to the Goddess via the funeral pyre. What their final moments must have felt like was the fuel of my nightmares.We all came together in the town square of Cragstone. Donning black and offering blessings and wishes to their parents and siblings. All this took place without our Alpha. Jackson was not able to preside so my father, Beta Kharkov found himself taking on more duties. Nobody wanted to talk about it but it seemed as though Jackson had reached his limits. Losing his eldest son had left him fragile, under the care of his wife and daughters.With the packhouse not having Cillian in residence there were no large meetings to cater for, the place felt abandoned and empty. From having four large personalities in residence, constant noise and activity it was unnerving to see it so quiet.It mean
A Damaged Alpha 13. Matilda
I expected Cillian to be surprised, to hopefully kiss me back and wrap his arms around me. I knew my brown eyes would be shimmering with gold, full of desire and need for him.I had taken my leap, this was the bravest thing I have ever done but I don’t feel his hands on me. Shit, I’ve made such a huge mistake. I end my kiss, open my eyes and look at him. His hands are gripping the table so firmly his knuckles are white.“I thought…I wanted to show you I want you too. What's the matter?” Cillians' eyes blazed with bright blue, no sign of his iris changing but his face was a storm of emotion. Every muscle in his body was tense. “I don’t want to…to do things the wrong way.”“What would be the wrong way?”“I’m gripping this table because if I place my hands on you…I don’t know where I’ll stop.”Caught in silence I looked at him steadily. Knowing he felt that strongly about me had my heart racing. The heat between my legs, yearning for him was undeniable. Nina prompted a devious little t
A Damaged Alpha 14. Cillian
I did the best that I could. I held out for as long as possible. I’ve even broken a chunk of my fathers huge mahogany desk off by trying to do the right thing. When she started stripping off in front of me, declaring she only wanted me, the compass of right and wrong spun around dizzyingly fast. Finally touching that gossamer skin, so perfect and smooth, assured me I had made the right decision. Her body is more perfect than I could have imagined. The months of my life I have spent forbidding myself to imagine her in this way. Splayed open, her legs wide and beckoning. Thighs glistening, her pretty little voice keening with need. Everything I never dared to dream of having. It was perfect when she broke out into a joyous laugh afterwards, her huge smile like the purest sunbeam. Despite having seen every inch of her body, it is still her smile that I adore the most. That will never change.She raised a hand to cover it, always self-conscious of her bubbly cheeks, but as she was stil
A Damaged Alpha 15. Matilda
Repeating Papa’s words like a mantra kept me buoyant enough to not shed any further tears over the situation I found myself in. Nina pushed me to see there were more positives than negatives. The long term joy will surely outweigh this tiny chunk of pain.I’d thrown myself in, I’d trusted, and there was no backing out now. Cillian wanted me to believe in him. I do. I always will. When he called me darling, his sweet, Nina purred in delight. When he called me his little Luna in that husky voice of his, I nearly jumped back onto the table for another round. It made synapses shatter in my mind. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he could bless me with such an endearment. Nina whirled with unsated desire, my iris instantly flaming with gold all over again.My mind was a mix of emotions. I was proud of declaring how I felt. Too often, I sat and watched others make their move. I took a chance and landed on his table. Forcing myself to focus, I created huge batches of brownies and cupc
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