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12. Matilda
Last Updated:
2022-12-07 04:50:14
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A Damaged Alpha 13. Matilda
I expected Cillian to be surprised, to hopefully kiss me back and wrap his arms around me. I knew my brown eyes would be shimmering with gold, full of desire and need for him.I had taken my leap, this was the bravest thing I have ever done but I don’t feel his hands on me. Shit, I’ve made such a huge mistake. I end my kiss, open my eyes and look at him. His hands are gripping the table so firmly his knuckles are white.“I thought…I wanted to show you I want you too. What's the matter?” Cillians' eyes blazed with bright blue, no sign of his iris changing but his face was a storm of emotion. Every muscle in his body was tense. “I don’t want to…to do things the wrong way.”“What would be the wrong way?”“I’m gripping this table because if I place my hands on you…I don’t know where I’ll stop.”Caught in silence I looked at him steadily. Knowing he felt that strongly about me had my heart racing. The heat between my legs, yearning for him was undeniable. Nina prompted a devious little t
Last Updated : 2022-12-07A Damaged Alpha 14. Cillian
I did the best that I could. I held out for as long as possible. I’ve even broken a chunk of my fathers huge mahogany desk off by trying to do the right thing. When she started stripping off in front of me, declaring she only wanted me, the compass of right and wrong spun around dizzyingly fast. Finally touching that gossamer skin, so perfect and smooth, assured me I had made the right decision. Her body is more perfect than I could have imagined. The months of my life I have spent forbidding myself to imagine her in this way. Splayed open, her legs wide and beckoning. Thighs glistening, her pretty little voice keening with need. Everything I never dared to dream of having. It was perfect when she broke out into a joyous laugh afterwards, her huge smile like the purest sunbeam. Despite having seen every inch of her body, it is still her smile that I adore the most. That will never change.She raised a hand to cover it, always self-conscious of her bubbly cheeks, but as she was stil
Last Updated : 2022-12-08A Damaged Alpha 15. Matilda
Repeating Papa’s words like a mantra kept me buoyant enough to not shed any further tears over the situation I found myself in. Nina pushed me to see there were more positives than negatives. The long term joy will surely outweigh this tiny chunk of pain.I’d thrown myself in, I’d trusted, and there was no backing out now. Cillian wanted me to believe in him. I do. I always will. When he called me darling, his sweet, Nina purred in delight. When he called me his little Luna in that husky voice of his, I nearly jumped back onto the table for another round. It made synapses shatter in my mind. Never in my wildest dreams did I think he could bless me with such an endearment. Nina whirled with unsated desire, my iris instantly flaming with gold all over again.My mind was a mix of emotions. I was proud of declaring how I felt. Too often, I sat and watched others make their move. I took a chance and landed on his table. Forcing myself to focus, I created huge batches of brownies and cupc
Last Updated : 2022-12-09A Damaged Alpha 16. Cillian
“So did you tell her?” Franz witters on, asking for the fifth time that day. Checking the map I snap back, “I swear I will throw you out of this truck. No hesitation.”“You should have told her,” he murmured, tapping his fingers to a silent tune on the steering wheel. "She's not stupid."“I’m more concerned about Zeke to be honest,” I replied. “You know Kharkov came to see me, he wants Zeke beaten in public for talking poorly about me in an inn outside of town?”Franz laughed and slapped the wheel, hooting with amusement. “I would love to get back for that! Kharkov dishing out a spanking!” As stupid as it was, I couldn’t help a smile rising, stroking my stubbled jawline. Zeke with his cheeky, expressive face having his ass tanned by the bull-like Beta would certainly be a sight. Franz calmed his giggling down “I guess it means he is doing his job?”“Not subtle enough if people are running back to base to snitch on him,” I shrugged, struggling to work out how the hell people navigate
Last Updated : 2022-12-10A Damaged Alpha 16. Cillian
Lucien was correct. The truck would have been no use. I doubt we would have ever found their location if he hadn’t approached us. Hidden right at the edge of a river lay the most beautiful log cabin. Surrounded by trees and greenery it was a stunning creation.Noticing the shed full of axes, tools and other equipment I tried to open with friendliness. “Did you build this house yourself?”“I did.”“Well it’s very impressive.”He merely grunted. I can take a hint. It doesn't bother Franz who is smirking when the wooden door flies open and the equivalent of a goddess steps out of the door.He literally gasps, like the mate bond has sparked there and then. She's pretty, yes, but she knows it. Long black hair, shimmering under the sunshine like ravens wings. Her eyes are grey, her cheeks rosy, lips plump and she's squeezed into leather pants and a black tank top."Well well," her dark, shapely eyebrows rising with interest. "You two look like trouble.""I don't think that's entirely true,
Last Updated : 2022-12-11A Damaged Alpha 18. Matilda
It’s so dark here. The sun obviously rose but instead of bathing the rooms with light, the huge pines obscured it all. The Cragstone contingent have been given some storage spaces converted into dorms for the proceedings. It reminds me of some kind of twisted summer camp. I am on a cast iron bunk bend with the hefty, blue eyed Rex above me.If it hadn’t been for him complaining to the guy on the next top bunk I would never have even realised it was morning. Pulling the itchy blanket over my head I tried in vain to drown them out.“I hope there's rooms set aside for those who find their mates!”A dirty snicker followed, “you’re saying you wouldn’t want to watch them get down and dirty in here?”“I’m just after a sleep and a bus home,” Rex replied with irritation. His friend sniggered, the creaking sounds of a huge body rolling on the iron bunks making my teeth rattle. “Whatever. I’ve got money on you finding your mate. You best ask Tange about those spare rooms.”“Fuck off Riley-”“Both
Last Updated : 2022-12-11A Damaged Alpha 19. Cillian
Thanks to Zena being one dramatic little wench we had to wait a full day whilst she gathered “supplies.” All of which fit in one small rucksack and half of which I suspected was merely makeup and clothes. Everything she did seemed designed to test my patience. She might have thought herself some kind of seductive minx, I saw her no different to Zeke, an irritating little menace. We set off back to Cragstone the morning after the full moon. Thankfully, Franz was keen to show off to Zena and had absolutely pounded the truck down the dusty roads, as if she would somehow be interested in him again if he drove like a demon. Unfortunately, she still only had eyes for me. “So…Alpha just what were you up to talking to strange women in run down taverns?” she smirked, leaning over from the back passenger seat to whisper in my ear as the truck thundered through the countryside.“I was tracking down the scent of my parents' killers.”“You weren’t looking for a random, anonymous bit of fun?” he
Last Updated : 2022-12-12A Damaged Alpha 20. Matilda
I’m on a terrifying form of auto-pilot. The cheering, the insane rushing noise as everyone squealed at our good fortune was maddening. I was the centre of attention and couldn’t even think straight.Tange held my hand with a grip of steel, keeping me close to him. Nina was whirling around, so thrilled to be close to the wolf the Moon Goddess has chosen for her. His hand was warm, yet the skin roughened by years of working. Calluses grittily rubbed against my softer skin and yet under his touch my fingers curled around his welcomingly./Our mate! Our perfect mate!/ she cried over and over.Nina, I have to reject him. /No! No, we will never know this feeling again if we do that!/ Nina snapped.Is this feeling better than a kiss from Cillian? I chose to love him with my free heart and mind and now I’m meant to jump completely the other way? The way Cillian made me feel when I laid on that table for him. I could live a life with that being my only affection. This mate bond does not have
Last Updated : 2022-12-13
Latest chapter
A Damaged Alpha Epilogue - Cillian
We are three weeks into this war with the Hybrid Army. My mind buzzes with mindlinks. The silence and lack of activity only raises tension as we stare down the country roads. Men are positioned on clifftops, every vehicle movement monitored.Staring for hours down a silent valley of green forest I couldn't help reminiscing. The surprise at seeing Maddox, carrying his hurriedly written sealed letter. He arrived just after the Full Moon Dance, the single, unmated hopefuls having completed their line ups. I was relieved none of my battalion made a match, to rip that new bond apart would be brutal. He stood panting as I read how Helena had made the move to declare war via ripping Beta Patrick’s eye out. I was shocked, but I wasn’t against the move. It's unhealable too, it used to mean someone who abused women. It’s still the sign of a criminal today. He took the vials of all those stolen wolves. He's guilty as sin and I'll happy rake his other eye when I get chance.Sadly, Maddox’s arriv
A Damaged Alpha Epilogue - Genevieve
He is a beast. In the best possible way. He slinks around on the bed like some lazy, dark-eyed cat. Then, in an instant he’s full of fire. The intensity in his eyes is breathtaking. How much he cares for his pack. The way he sends me to heaven with his touch. How beautifully his muscular body shines in the water, the droplets from his black hair landing on me like drum beats as he devoured me. I’m in love with every single side of himWe have marked each other, we’re bound to other body and soul, and yet there are still surprises. The strip-sparring was the silliest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I had to beg him to stop in case I was sick, wrapped up together in a heap on the floor. And he let me win, just like he said he would back before our attack.It felt wrong to have enjoyed the past few days so much when we walked into the yellow parlour room. There was no mistaking the sound of her voice as he opened the large wooden door. Nikolai’s big sister is a curious personality. Lik
A Damaged Alpha Epilogue - Nikolai
There was no secrecy or hidden drop-off by the steely-eyed Maddox as we approached White Forest castle's courtyard. The flags fluttered at half-mast in formal mourning. A quick shudder raced down my spine.The drive saw Maddox had fill Vee and I in on the events of the past week. Phillipe had been sniffing around my parents the instant the news of my alleged death broke. Maddox had overheard at least one enquiry about their intention to still lead. Reminding them Freya was here to help. A peaceful conquest.“Is Freya okay?” Vee asked, her green eyes full of worry. “She must have been devastated at the news.”“She’s been in a bad way. Not much let up on the crying to be honest the couple of times I’ve seen her.”Coldly I interrupted Maddox, “the more upset she is now, the more likely that hurt will propel her into doing the right thing. Rejecting Phillipe and getting the hell away from him.”Then the sweet, teasing voice of Vee filtered through./The prophecy Padgett gave me. She said t
A Damaged Alpha 58. Matilda
I almost dropped to the floor when I saw my sisters. The copper-haired dark-eyed stares of my beautiful little sisters. All dressed up and already squealing with excitement. A year younger than me, Leona and Naomi wore cream and beige-toned clinging maxi-gowns, their athletic shapes on display. At just sixteen, Eleanour wore an elaborate white concoction that had an insane amount of feathers. She was a gold, white and silver bonanza. Little Phoebe, our baby of thirteen, sported a bright pink, almost flamenco style dress.“What are you all doing here? You all look so beautiful! Oh Goddess I am so pleased to see you all!” I cried as we hugged, most of us trying to stop any tears from spoiling our make-up.Leona inhaled sharply after the initial elation dialled down, trying to stop her tears escaping. Taking my hand she whispered. “This was Alpha Cillian’s idea. He knew that Papa would have wanted to give us away at our Ceremonies, so he suggested we start a new tradition in his honour.
A Damaged Alpha 57. Matilda
"This space is ours now. Brand new just for us?" I asked softly, my fingertips gently wandering up Cillians chest. My other hand entwined with his, my wrist against his, feeling the strength of his pulse against mine."Our suite. Our space. Not soundproofed, yet though," he added and I smiled. I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and got on my tiptoes. Whispering into his ear as my free hand now searched downwards his body jerked into life. "Well the room needs christening Alpha. It's bad luck for us to leave now…and I'm too loud…"His eyebrow raised and then as I started gently massaging the front of his pants. Letting go of his hand as I deftly began unbuttoning. First his shirt then pants, all the while rubbing and toying with the ever-stiffening bulge I was longing to see. He shut his eyes, hissing as I grew braver.Placing kisses down his neck, on his mark and down his chest his breathing quickened. I sucked and licked every ridge of muscle, I thoroughly followed the sharply defined
A Damaged Alpha 56. Cillian
The scarlet blush on Genevieve’s face as I told her I would be sending the bill for the redecoration to White Forest was sweet revenge. Certainly not revenge enough for walking to Nikolai’s bare ass and my office turned into a dilapidated sex den, but Matilda had asked me so sweetly not to be angry about it I yielded. Nikolai was more serious, completely straight-faxed. He, naturally, wanted to know everything about his parents' reaction. He only started grinning when I said his father had gone full claws-out rage at me.As he proudly strutted about, occasionally wrapping an arm around Gen’s waist while he listened I was amazed at his strength. The fact he had recovered so swiftly from the tired heap yesterday showed just how immensely powerful his wolf was. No wonder he had struggled for control before. Barely concealing a smirk as we stood paper-strewn wreckage, “I thought he might flare up."“No heads-up though?” “Nah, you’re quicker than him, but he’s scary as fuck when he gets
A Damaged Alpha 55. Matilda
He resembled his father so strongly. Dark coffee brown eyes with flashes of ruby and jet black curls down to his jawline. Clenched tightly he looked ready to cause some damage if I didn’t stop gaping with an open mouth and answer him quickly.“Gen came to chat to me, I asked if we could swap rooms, have a change of scenery,” I lied, as Gen had blushingly begged me to. She wanted to surprise Nikolai with the reason why he was moving rooms. I wasn’t going to start asking too many questions about their sex life. I knew the power of the mate bond, the way one’s wolf keens and yearns for the other's touch. /Locked in a room, unable to make a sound together, you’d have climbed onto the roof and made for the trees with Cillian/ Nina mocked. I always considered myself fairly shy and boring but I have become alarmingly addicted to what Cillian can do to me. I am no different to Gen in craving my soul’s partner.“Swapping rooms? Is she insane? Is this a trick, are you in danger?” his voice dr
A Damaged Alpha 54. Matilda
I’ve never experienced such a swing of emotions. When Cillian is here everything is joy. Even though war is coming and the preparations are clear to see across the town centre if he is in my eyeline I am the happiest woman on earth.Groups of men are being organised into battalions, put through drills and formations. I watched as the first batches were taken almost within an hour of us first arriving back alongside the pyre. Alongside the still smoking heap of collapsed wood men were completing their circuits. Group after group of exhausted, sweating semi-naked men tumbled into the square, all timed with a stopwatch by a stone-faced Zeke and his clipboard.Losing Franz has broken him inside. He’s hurting with nowhere to let it out. When I was fixing him up back at Tange’s he confessed to me how much he hated Zena.“She just walked out, for the exact amount of time it took to kill Franz? I don’t buy it,” he had scoffed. “Just left him there!”At the time I didn’t know what to say. I d
A Damaged Alpha 53. Cillian
Beta’s Maddox and Adrian led me away, leaving a quietly distraught Helena and Alexander with the letter. Deposited in a library with huge vaulted stone ceilings, candelabras, and endless lines of bookshelves containing detailed historical records. Rise and fall is inevitable. I know in my bones Shadowlands is too young a pack to be cut down now. We will prosper. Finding out how Phillipe is protecting himself from harm is a big one. There is always the danger that killing Ruth would still leave him as Alpha, wielding power. “Mind if I read while I wait?”“No problem. It’s only the public record, anyway,” Beta Adrian replied, taking a seat by the door. Maddox kept his thick, tattooed arms folded. He wasn’t taking his eyes off me for a second.Random curiosity made me grab the books covering years when my father was a Beta here. He was head of the Beta Warriors and fought against the now defunct Five Lakes pack two decades ago. I read for hours about the lead-up to the attack, culmina
