you re so old jokes one liners

Madison breaks up with her cheating Rich boyfriend Xavier, on that same day her bestie decided to take her to a bar to feel better. madison gets drunk and had a one night stand with a smoking hot man, who's name and face she barely remembered. on getting home, Madison decided to treat all infection forgetting to prevent pregnancy. Madison finds herself pregnant but the problem is she can't remember the man she spent the night with and she isn't even sure who the actual father is, is it her one night stand or her ex boyfriend. what's the worst that could happen? now Madison has to make a choice to keep or remove the baby, which will she do? will she reunite with her ex boyfriend for the sake of the child? or will she look for her mysterious smoking hot one night stand? What happens when Madison finds out both her hot smoking one night stand and her ex boyfriend whom she still loves are best friends. So much drama, anger, love, revenge, plotting, hatred all in one triangle. What's crazy is does this one night stand destroys Madison's life or does it make it better?

Warning 18+ Judul : QUEEN: I LOVE YOU PAPA Genre : Romantis Dewasa Cerita kedua dari ‘My Sweet Young Husband’ Bijaklah dalam membaca….., terdapat unsur kekerasan dan kaka-kata umpatan kasar dan mungkin juga vulgar serta beberapa adegan khusus kakak-kakak kece di beberapa partnya. Sebelum baca cerita ini sebaiknya baca ‘My Sweet Young Husband’. ********** Alesha Queenara Agustaf harus menerima takdir, berpisah dari keluarga dan mengalami amnesia pasca kecelakaan yang menimpa mobil yang ia tumpangi. Kehidupan Alesha berubah ketika ia menjadi Nabilla Fathiyah Hasanah, dan hidup dalam keluarga yang sangat sederhana. Beruntung bapak angkatnya sangat menyayanginya, namun kasih sayang itu hanya sekejab saja. Bapak angkatnya harus meninggalkannya untuk selama-lamanya setelah mengetahui kelakuan sang ibu. Setelah kepergian bapaknya, Nabilla harus bersabar menghadapi ibu dan kakaknya. Bahkan di saat bunga di pusara sang bapak belum mengering, ibunya tanpa rasa berdosa membawa teman pria ke rumah dan tanpa rasa bersalah kembali mengotori hargadirinya dan keluarga demi nafsu dan segepok rupiah. Penderitaan Nabilla tidak berhenti di situ saja, isak tangis karena perbuatan ibu dan kakak angkatnya yang memperlakukan dirinya tidak manusiawi, siksaan dan dipaksa kerja keras. Padahal kala itu Nabilla hanyalah siswi SMA, jangan lupakan pekerjaan sang ibu sebagai pemuas nafsu pria kurang belaian memaksa Nabilla harus memasang benteng agar tidak terjatuh ke dalam lembah hitam seperti sang kakak. Sayangnya benteng yang sudah dibangun kokoh oleh Nabilla harus dirobohkan paksa oleh sang ibu, yang menjualnya ke pada seorang mucikari dan akan dipekerjakan sebagai pemuas pria kurang belaian. Akankah gadis yang istiqomah dengan jilbabnya itu bakal terjatuh dan menyelami lembah hitam penuh dosa? Atau Nabilla yang sebenarnya merupakan Queen di keluarga Agustaf akan kembali merasakan kebahagiaan dan terbebas dari penderitaan sesuai doa yang selalu ia panjatkan dalam setiap sujudnya? Dan jangan lupakan kisah cinta Nabilla yang tumbuh subur kepada seseorang yang tidak semestinya ia cintai ‘kira-kira siapa ya?’.

Simula ng magkaisip si Hilda Alegre bukod sa pagmamahal at maka-survive wala na siyang ibang hinihiling pa. Inasam niya ang pagmamahal na iyon at proteksyon mula sa sarili nito na ama kalaunan ay nabigo din siya after mag decide ito na ipakasal siya sa italiano na matanda. Naisip ni Hilda hindi nagba-bound sa dugo at laman ang pagmamahal. Pinili ng ama ni Hilda na ibenta siya— dugo niya at laman para mailigtas ang step sister niya na ni walang isang patak ng dugo galing sa ama niya. Umalis si Hilda at tumakas sa kapalarang inilatag sa kaniya ng sariling ama. Hinanap nito ang kalayaan sa italy. "Saan ba ako nagkamamali?" ani ni Hilda na ngayon ay hawak ang ulo habang nakatitig sa pregnancy test na hawak. She marely survive by little lucky of hers and now— may isa pa siyang buhay na kailangan protektahan. "Hindi nga ako sigurado sino ang tao na nakasama ko sa kwarto." May pagkakautang siya na need bayaran kay Arthur Cage Nicastro kaya tinanggap niya ang mission na bantayan ang anak nito na si Aron Nicastro. But during mission may nangyari na aksidente. Lasing siya 'non at ang huling nakasama niya ay si Aron Nicastro. "Importante ba sino ang ama?" bulong ni Hilda tapos sumandal sa sofa. Walang buhay ang mga mata na tiningnan mabuti ang pregnancy test. "If nag-fail ang mission, nakahanap ako ng opportunity at the end— if gusto ko mabuhay. Kailangan ko ulit tumakas at wala ako balak iwan ang bata na ito. Sino 'man sa dalawang Nicastro ang ama."

Cercei didn't expect the 'random' man she kissed on the street to make her cheating ex-boyfriend jealous was no other than Aaron Parker, a young billionaire in town. But what she surely didn't see coming, was Aaron returning the kiss to ruin his ex-girlfriend's engagement party. After this, the two managed to convince the whole town that they were an actual couple and although Cercei tried to remind herself, that she wasn't really Aaron's girlfriend and their relationship was a lie, but she couldn't help but want more.

He is a ruthless CEO, known for his cruelty and bloodlust. She is a lost heiress, a young lady from a prominent family. Seven years ago, she was trapped in a schemed one-night stand with him. Now, she emerges as a stunning figure with triplets, vowing to exact tenfold revenge upon those who framed her. Just when she decides to make a clean break, a mysterious man appears and cages her in his embrace. With a devilish grin, he whispers, "My dear, with my children, you cannot escape my grasp even if you run to the ends of the earth!" Ms. White sneers, "I don't want a man who throws himself at me." One of her children cunningly smirks, "Mommy, it's better not to challenge Daddy anymore, your skills are still too shallow."

“Isabella you are too tempting I can't control myself around you, so if you think that we are going to be friends forget it, it's not happening I want you as you want me, and your reactions today have given me confirmation that you carve for me too. Break off your engagement to Alex and be my woman, I promise you, you will not regret it. We can be together for as long as it last.” He whispered huskily. His last sentence shattered the illusion around Isabella and she stared at him with a confused expression and said. “No, I can’t.” “ Can’t or won’t, Isabella," He said and started kissing her passionately. ******************************* Isabella was proposed by her best friend Alex Waltz but she rejected him, as she had always loved him as a friend. But after he made a deal with her, she agreed, as she had her own reasons for the arrangement. But soon Adam, Alex’s business partner walks into their lives and she realizes that she was getting more and more attracted towards him. Adam on the other hand thinks that she is a gold digger and got engaged to Alex only for his money. But he couldn’t resist her charm and gets attracted to her and gradually becomes obsessed with her. And in between their love triangle Alex’s ex-girlfriend, Gracie returns back and claims that she is Adam’s girlfriend. Isabella falls in love with Adam but before she could realize it her past comes back knocking at her door. And when Adam realizes his true feelings for her she had already left.

Umaasa si Pauleen na kahit isang beses lang. Makakasalamuha siya ng isang kalahi ni Adan after being tore down by her bastard college boyfriend na ipinalit siya sa babaeng Donsol sa Architectural Department. Humahanga na siya sa mga Blue Warrior pero mas lalong nadagdagan ang paghanga niya sa FVC members. Kaya nang makilala niya si Beverly Hernandez-ang babaeng nagdala sa kanya sa naturang lugar. Tuluyang nakamit ang isang pangarap niya sa buhay. Doon niya nakilala ang antipatiko at hambog na si Bruce Bergman. Naglaho ang fascination niya dito lalo na ng palagi siya nitong binabara dahilan kung bakit tumubo ang iritasyon niya sa binatilyo. Ano kaya ang mangyayari kapag itong dalawa ang palaging nasasangkot sa walang humpay na bangayan?

It was all supposed to be a one night stand between Alpha Leonardo and the hybrid omega, Cora. Alpha Leonardo is broken after having been rejected by his actual mate and it is only a one night fling as suggested by the white witch that'll help him to get over his first mate. What happens when Alpha Leonardo unknowingly has a stand with an omega, a hybrid at that and what happens when he finds out she is his second chance mate? "You're a hybrid, there's no way I'll accept you. Get out'" He yelled as he pushed her away. She held on to her injured arm as she got up. "I won't let you go so easily, Alpha. You're mine and I'll make sure I get you." She told him, determined.

God is always fair, but the world is never fair. Sometimes to defeat bad people, you must become a bad one yourself. His bloody hands rested on his knees which were spread apart. His head was bent and he looked perfect for the job. I just offered him my hand."I don't need your help. I can get up on my own."I raised an eyebrow at him and connected my hand with his. I attempted to pull him up. But, he didn't budge. I tried again, but no luck. This time, he growled. "Stop it and get lost. Leave me alone." He pointed his finger at me. I immediately caught hold of the finger and attempted to snap it, but he was quicker than me. He caught my hand which was holding his finger and twisted it so that my arm was strangling my own neck and I was pressed against his chest. We broke into a fight and in the end, we both were breathless and I was straddling him.

Si Secretary Sollaire ang isa sa pinaka kilalang One-Year Contract Secretary sa industriya ng mga sekretarya kung saan siya nago-offer ng kakaibang service sa kanyang mga employer. Nang hindi inaasahang mapasali sa isang programang ginawa para sa mga bilyonaryo, will she take up the challenge of being a forever secretary to one Vernon Ronan?