you re so old jokes one liners

When Erin run into her high school boyfriend, who now is a billionaire, at a restaurant, he cornered her against a bathroom stall "Behavior yourself." She warned him "Be a good girl if you don't want to be heard. " -- "Are you ladies bothering my girlfriend?" "Gavin?" One of the girls spoke up, her voice suddenly shrinking to a whisper. Gavin Pierce. He was the Alpha of the Darkmoon Pack, renowned as one of the most formidable and ruthless Alphas in our universe. And he also happened to be my ex-boyfriend. The same one that I had left behind in high school. Without any regard for my soaked shirt, Gavin casually draped an arm around my shoulders. The girl and her friends gaped at us, speechless and unsure of what to say next. "You two got back together?" She finally managed to ask, her voice almost a hollow echo. "I had no idea." "My personal affairs are none of your concern, Cassondra," he replied, sounding disinterested and nonchalant. "Of course, they're not..." Cassondra stammered, bowing her head in our direction. "I'm very sorry." -- “You owe me for saving you out there,” he said in a deep and threatening tone. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, staring into his gorgeous eyes. “What is it you want?” I asked, my tone low and breathless. “Don’t you remember the last time we were in a bathroom together?” He asked, that smirk appearing on his lips again. “It was in a stall… just… like… this.”

Si Crisanta ay may matagal ng pangarap na maging isang sikat na news writer kaya naman madalas siyang tumambay sa opisina ng kanyang ninong na hepe ng pulisya sa kanilang bayan upang makasagap ng scoop or balita. Dito niya unang nakita ang gwapo at makisig na pulis na si Sergeant Alexander Ricarfort, pangalan pa lang ang kisig na. Tinamaan ka agad siya ng palaso ni kupido lalo na ng masalat niya kung gaano "katambok" at "katigas" ang abs nito. Gumawa siya ng paraan para mapalapit sa binata at ng makakuha na rin siya ng magandang article para sa kanilang newspaper. ayun nga lang mukhang lagi siyang inaalat, dahil sa tuwing mag lalapit sila ni Alex ay kung ano-ano namang kapalpakan ang nagagawa niya na lalong ikinainis ng binata sa kanya. Paano pa kaya siya magugustuhan ni Alex kung lahat ng gusto nito sa isang babae ay wala sa kanya? idagdag pa na meron na pala itong "babe". Wala na nga kayang pag-asa ang mapagmahal na puso ni Cris para sa makisig nating pulis?

She stood nervously opposite this grey-eyed delinquent. No matter how hard she tried to avoid him, he was always coming back to her. Her heart skipped the more he leaned closer to her. Her back leaned against his desk as her eyes locked with his. He was something words can't describe. " Why are you scared of me, Ariel?" " I'm not..." She stuttered. She seems to lose her breath at just his sight. " What if I kiss you right now?" That made her heartbeat skipped. They were inches apart and all she could feel was his hot breath against her neck. " I'm not feeling very well." He whispered, trailing his fingertips on the naive brunette. " Why are you telling me this?" " I want you to be my nurse, kiss me till I feel better. Or maybe..." He whispered, leaning closer to her so she could feel him. " Babysit me tonight" *** She's a good girl. She's no different from a boring introvert. She likes to read and stay indoors. One dream she loved was going to Nun school. She was about to take her vows in the convent, but her dream went down the drain when her male best friend stole everything away from her, tearing away her holy garment as he stole her innocence. She hated herself and her family despised her more for making them lose their positions in church. Just when she was picking up her broken self, Bad Boy Billionaire, Gray Carter, walked into her life with his mysteries. ** Under Editing.

Title: Married To An Old Billionaire, In Love With His Son. Eve has no choice but to give up her own dreams due to her father's illness and the expensive operational costs. So she married an old billionaire who is old enough to be her grandfather. Despite the sexual harassment she faces on a regular basis, the humiliation she receives from the old man's son, Liam is another source of pain for Eve. Then, Eve's only thought is to make as much money as she can and get away from the family. Nevertheless, as Liam works with Eve, he gradually falls in love with the girl he used to loathe. What will he do about his hidden feelings for his stepmother?

Certified raketera, palaban at walang inuurungan. Siya si Leah Rivera o mas kilala sa tawag na Iya ng mga taong malapit sa kaniya. Magmula pagkabata ay natuto na siyang maging isang raketera dahil maaga rin siyang tinuruan ng kaniyang ina na nagtitinda sa palengke ng kung anu-anong trabaho na sa kalaunan ay nakasanayan na niyang gawin. Ang kailangan niya ay pera. Pera na makakatulong sa kanila para mairaos ang kanilang pang-araw araw na pangangailangan at para na rin makatulong siya sa pagpapaaral sa kaniyang kambal na kapatid na ngayon ay nasa kolehiyo na. Likas kay Leah ang pagiging masayahin at pagkakaroon ng positibong pananaw sa buhay. Pero hindi sa lahat ng oras. Tulad na lamang nang isang gabi, habang nagse-serve siya ng alak sa mga mayayamang costumer ng bar na pinapasukan niya ay may nagtangkang mambastos sa kaniya. Dahil likas sa kaniya ang pagiging palaban, gumanti siya sa lalaki. Ang kaso, ang suntok na dapat na para rito ay dumapo sa isang kasama nito na wala namang ginawang masama sa kaniya. Paano kung ang lalaking hindi niya sinasadyang masuntok ay ang anak ng kaniyang boss? At anong gagawin niya kung sakaling magkagusto ito sa kaniya at yayain siya nitong magpakasal? Makakaya ba niyang tanggapin ang alok nito sa kaniya kapalit ng halaga na makapag-aahon sa kanila sa kahirapan? Will she ever fall in love with the man who is only good at pestering her with his stupid antics?

Evelyn Ithaca, a single mother, moves with her son back to her hometown in the hope of things getting better for them. She, being a powerful witch, has ‘supposedly' been saving her son's life as he seems to have a terrible sickness only her magic can keep at bay. Things got a little weird for Evelyn when she began to develop feelings for Damon, a young handsome werewolf whom she has eight years on. Their relationship starts up swiftly and is repeatedly interrupted by no one else but her ex, who happens to be the Principal at her son's school...and apparently more. Lucas, her son, manages to get himself into a relationship with Tilda and it is even weirder than his mother's own as the love triangle which he finds himself in happens to have his newly found buddy in it.

Racked by confusion and changes in her body, Diana found herself irresistibly drawn to Andrew. Passion ignited and threatened to consume them both. However, she was unprepared for the reason he had sought her out and the danger that lay ahead. Regardless, sharing a love of conquering their goals, this unlikely pair began to form an unexpected bond that led them to a place neither of them ever expected to be.

รามสูร พิสิฐกุลวัตรดิลก ลูกชายคนโตของแก้มใสคุณแม่สายเฟียร์ส ผู้ชายเจ้าเล่ห์และแสนเย็นชาที่วันหนึ่งต้องเปลี่ยนจากถือปืนมาถือขวดนม เพราะความเฟียร์สที่ถูกถ่ายทอดมาจากมารดาทำให้รามสูรเกลียดการท้าทายเป็นที่สุด ดื่มเหล้าอะงานถนัดแต่ดื่มจนเมาและเผลอไปมี One Night กับคู่อรินี่น่ะสิ ที่ทำให้ชีวิตของรามสูรต้องเปลี่ยนไปตลอดกาล จากมาเฟียหน้าโหดเข้าสู่โหมดผัวขี้อ้อน "ใครกล้าแตะเมียกู......มึงตาย" เขา ร้ายกับคนทั้งโลกยกเว้นกับเธอแค่เพียงคนเดียวเท่านั้น เขา เย็นชากับผู้หญิงทั้งโลกยกเว้นเมียเด็กอย่างเธอเท่านั้น ม่อนไหม วิจิตรเดชากุลณรงค์ ปี 2 คณะวิศวกรรมศาสตร์สาขาเครื่องกล สาวสวยแสนแสบแสนซนที่ต้องเปลี่ยนจากไล่ตีคนมาเป็นคุณแม่ยังสาว ดื่มเหล้าอะเรื่องจิ๊บๆแต่ดื่มจนเมาแล้วเผลอไปมี One Night กับคู่อรินี่น่ะสิ ที่ทำให้ชีวิตในรั้วมหาวิทยาลัยต้องจบลงอย่างงงๆ จากสาวสวยหน้าโหดเข้าสู่โหมดแมวน้อยขี้อ้อน "ใครกล้าแตะผัวกู...มึงเจอตีน" สวยสะกดตัวแม่คือฉายาของเธอในมหาวิทยาลัย สวยห้าวตีนคือฉายาของเธอที่คู่อริตั้งให้

All fae have a One--One person who strengthens their magic and enriches their life. A perfect mate. So why can't I find mine? What is a fae princess to do when she can’t find the prince she’s meant to spend the rest of her life with? I have to find him now, for the sake of my kingdom. Evil forces are moving in, and the only way I can come into my full power is to find my perfect mate. If I don't, the magical barrier that protects us will crumble because my magic won't be strong enough to hold it. But... I feel this strange pull to not on, but four different men! What in the world is going on? Can I be mated to all four of these men and still save my kingdom, or will what seems to be an asset turn out to be our undoing? The One is the first in a new reverse harem series by the author of Realm of the Chosen and Ember’s Flames.

"You think you can just leave without a trace after what happened that night?" His hands pinned her arms above her head, his piercing blue eyes boring into hers. "W-what do you mean?" she stuttered, his scent reminding her of that night—the night that had changed her life completely. "What do I mean? Are you seriously asking me that, woman? If your brain can't recall how we burned together on that bed, how about I remind you right here?" His face was dangerously close as he growled into her ear. Her eyes widened. He meant it. Every single word. He was the king of the entertainment world, after all. "Let me go," she demanded stubbornly, her voice barely audible. He let out a low, dark chuckle that sent a chill down her spine. "Let you go? Oh, I'll let you go, Tatiana. But not until you understand the consequences of crossing paths with me." •••••••••• In the world of the entertainment industry, we see constant change and creativity. Trends come and go, as do collaborations between artists and producers. This world can make anyone wish to be a part of it—it is said to be inspiring and enjoyable... Meanwhile, that's only on the surface. The same world is filled with deceit, betrayal, fake love, ruthless competition, toxic fans who could ruin you, suicide, and dissatisfaction... This world is mostly dominated by men. How can a woman, hurt by this world, face it—especially when she had a night and her life tangled with the king of them all?