you re so old jokes one liners

"Stop right there, Evan! You can't fool me." Grace stretched out her hands to the right and left, preventing her best friend from leaving. "I know you're hiding something." Evan crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be so confident. And please, know your place. I have the power to replace you with anyone else." He leaned toward her and whispered to her ear. "Or, are you trying to seduce me? How much is your rate for one night?" Upon hearing it, Grace gave him a smack across the face. She was silent for a moment in disbelief. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're so mean, Evan. I-hate-you," she said, heartbroken. She turned away from him without further ado. Evan teared up too, looking at his best friend leaving. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had to do it. We can't be together," he said weakly. Grace and Evan became best friends after he saved her and her mother following a traffic collision. Their friendship grew stronger for years until they became inseparably fond of each other. However, fate played jokes on them. They had to separate for years, lose contact and bury their dreams. When they finally reunited in the same workplace, everything was not the same as it used to be.

I sensed his presence before I ever saw him, my mate... I looked up to meet amber eyes gazing at me confidently. Zane Black, Alpha of the Blue moon pack, was gorgeous, powerful and just what every woman dreamed of… or so he thought. “Hello, mate...” he said with a smirk. I looked at him blankly for a moment before I slowly smirked at him. “I reject you, Mr. Alpha,” I said in a bored tone. His brows furrowed as he stared at me uncomprehendingly. Then slowly realization dawned and his expression changed to disbelief, pain and finally rage.  “You reject me? You think I am not worthy to be your mate? I promise you, the day will come when you will beg for my love. You will regret rejecting me. That day, I will be the one who will have the last laugh,” he vowed. “Let’s see, Alpha. I will just tell you one thing. I, Kayla Xanders, had never ever tasted defeat in my life till day,” I said confidently.  I watched his eyes go wide in shock as he heard my name. Before he could reply, I turned, and walked away from him. Bring it on, Alpha. Let the games begin. __________________ An unexpected rogue attack changed the life of Kayla Xanders. She lost her family as well as half of her pack. At just sixteen, she took over as the Alpha of the Crescent moon pack and vows to avenge the murder of her family. Seven years later, she had become a ruthless Alpha, feared and respected by all. When she meets her mate, Zane, a playboy with an attitude, she rejects him outright. Soon, they start their games against each other. Why did she really reject Zane? And will he ever win her over? 

One Lust Dance is a modern Cinderella-type story with an interesting twist that all started with the masquerade ball. It is a romantic comedy with lots of naughty and intimate scenes. The plot revolves around a young, handsome billionaire named Edward who meets a mysterious, masked woman at a ball. Edward and the mysterious masked woman are locked in the cellar, and in order to keep themselves warm, they drink the wine and get drunk. The burning passion of lust tainted her innocence as she ventured into a world of desires and submissiveness. Edward wasn't able to see who she was because she was wearing the mask the entire time; all he could remember were her physical features and the passionate night they spent together. Edward searches the whole province of San Lorenzo to find her. He dated all the lovely women who matched her physical appearance in hopes of finding her. Little did he know that the one he'd been looking for was just in front of him.

* "Marry Me! Stranger." I shout for the whole hall to hear and I pull him in for a deep kiss to the loud gasp of my supposed adopted parents at their first daughter's wedding. What is she doing?! Master cannot be kissed by just anybody! He'll have allergic reactions almost killing him! But what is he doing? He's holding her waist and pulling her further and kissing her back! * Samantha Stiles, denied of her marriage to her long time lover and boyfriend by a well planned and executed scheme by her mother and sister who claims to the world she is adopted, but a fact which remains unknown whether it's a lie or truth. Claude Whyte, a mega trillionaire who recently came to New York to attend an acquaintances wedding but a series of events which include a nightstand and a public proposal is making him stay back. For someone who can't kiss or touch just anybody, he seems quite comfortable with that cheeky woman kissing him in the public.

Having transferred from the elite Dawson College to a new public school, Liam Wyatt is the new student at Crawstar High. Handome, quiet, gets good grades and seems to have no interest in anything. Steve Reed is the ace of the football team at Crawstar High. Good looks, popular, rich parents and g

What do you do when you lose your virginity to your next-door neighbor who so happens to be the egotistical bad boy of the entire town, who raises havoc wherever he goes and is the biggest player on the planet? Well, you guard your heart and stay away from him like everyone warned you to. Oh and pretend like nothing happened because what else can you expect from a bad boy? But what if it's too late to stay away? Especially since he's already had a taste of you and you of him? What if you wanted more? What if you were too late to guard your heart? What if you had already fallen for him even before you moaned out his name? Spinoff of this book ( Mia and Kade's story ) : TANGLED IN HIS SHEETS

" Please." she croaked out, the pain slowly paralyzing her body. " No! I can't marry you anymore, Sage. You're broken, used, and tainted. How am I supposed to marry you now knowing so many men used you like a fucking public property?" Enrique snapped, glaring at his fiance who was on the hospital bed. " She was raped, Enrique. How can you say this?" Sabrina growled, not believing what he just said. " Not my fault but I can't marry her now. I can't even look at her after knowing how dirty she is. I'm sorry Sage but our story has to come to an end here." Enrique looked at his childhood love, on the bed helplessly drowning in her own tears as he walked out of the room. --- Love lasts all fights but unfortunately, Enrique's love couldn't. He walked out on the very first step leaving Sage to deal with herself. Two years later, he is back in the same town only to marry Sage's sister. Will he regret his decision or will it be too late? Read to find it all out.

Blurb: One Night Stand “Kau sungguh bajingan, Victor!” Desis Mary, menatap pria bernama Victor itu dengan mata yang dipenuhi air mata. “Kau memperkosaku! Kau merenggut sesuatu yang bukan milikmu, keparat! Aku benci padamu!” Bibirnya bergetar saat melontarkan kalimat tersebut, sementara tangannya erat menahan selimut untuk menutupi tubuhnya yang polos, tanpa sehelai benang pun. *** Mary Popiens adalah seorang bartender di sebuah klub malam ternama di kota London. Malam itu, klub dipenuhi pengunjung, membuat para pelayan tampak sibuk. Dalam keadaan tersebut, Mary diminta tolong oleh sang manajer untuk mengantarkan minuman ke kamar VVIP. Di sanalah kehancuran hidup Mary dimulai. Alih-alih mengantar minuman lalu keluar, Mary justru terjebak bersama pria yang merupakan tangan kanan Bos Mafia di dalam kamar tersebut, yang tengah mabuk. Mary dipaksa sedemikian rupa, sehingga keduanya terjerumus dalam momen panas. Langkahnya yang lemah berayun pergi, diiringi isak tangis yang pilu. Baginya, perbuatan bejat Victor Marson semalaman adalah hal paling buruk dan memilukan yang pernah dialaminya sepanjang hidup. *** Kini, Victor, pria yang merupakan tangan kanan Bos Mafia itu, tak akan pernah melepaskan Mary, meskipun dia tahu Mary telah memiliki seorang kekasih—yang tak lain adalah keponakan dari Tuannya. Terlepas dari konsekuensi, Victor bersikeras untuk membawa Mary pergi, memisahkannya dari sang kekasih, tanpa peduli betapa Mary membencinya. Setelah disekap dan tinggal bersama Victor, akankah Mary menyerah untuk melupakan sang kekasih dan beralih mencintai Victor? Atau mungkin… dia akan berusaha pergi untuk selamanya, meninggalkan semuanya di belakang? ***

Warning Mature Content 19+ Sherina Alexander Lansonia. Seorang wanita karier pemilik gedung pencakar langit termegah di Britania Raya. Parasnya sangat cantik nan mempesona. Lekuk tubuhnya indah menarik mata untuk terus memandang ke arahnya. Ambisius adalah cara Alexa menghadapi dunia. Hidup di tengah-tengah persaingan bisnis yang bisa saja 'memakannya hidup-hidup' membuat Alexa tak segan untuk mengorbankan segalanya untuk tetap mempertahankan perusaahan yang ia bangun. Tak pernah melakukan kesalahan dalam ambisinya? Tidak! Alexa adalah manusia biasa. Satu kesalahan besar yang pernah diperbuat olehnya adalah membeli rumah mewah tepat di depan kediaman sang mantan kekasih. -Touch You-

Shannon Gray loved Sean Ford wholeheartedly, regardless of her loneliness or feelings of lack of accomplishment.She once believed that he would be her forever until the end. However, things happened the other way around. Finally, she woke up when he pushed her to the edge of the cliff for another woman, only then did she know that she was just a passerby in his life and he would never be hers…Sean, you will regret this one day. In fact, no one can escape from feeling helpless. Perhaps, I will be gone when you decide to come back...