you re so old jokes one liners

"Should I help you take off your pants, Mr. Nicolas?" offered Dianne innocently, she meant it because she was worried that her boss would find it difficult. "Are you crazy? I can do it myself!" Nicolas exclaimed in an embarrassed tone. Dianne scowled in a bad mood. "I'm just offering, there's no need to be upset." "I know, even though you might have seen me naked because we had sex before, but still I don't remember anything about you," Nicolas said with a face that was now as red as a tomato. Dianne did not comment, she immediately closed the toilet door and waited behind it while grumbling. "Had sex with him? Ridiculous!" ----------------------------- This is Dianne Rosallee's 100th day working as an apprentice secretary at the Buenos Solar Company, but the girl is very fed up with her boss, Nicolas Gauthier. Nicolas Gauthier is a symbol of ruthlessness and arrogance. The main director of the Buenos Solar Company hates even the slightest mistake made by his employees. He is typically a perfectionist, which makes his employees difficult and emotional stress. Dianne Rosallee is no exception. Dianne Rosallee is a symbol of hatred and determination. Her revenge to Nicolas led Dianne to another complicated and crazy problem. There is a dangerous enemy that is lurking and threatening their lives. The term 'Love Blossoms in the Middle of War' seems to apply to Nicolas and Dianne. But, why is a bitter secret revealed when the both of them have shared feelings for each other?

##Synopsis: Summer Plath was Jasper Miller’s sugar baby, and he hid her away in one of his mansions. She was not like other sugar babies. Jasper Miller picked her off the streets, and she remembered nothing that had happened in her life before that as she had lost her memory in an accident. She wanted nothing in life other than Jasper Miller. However, Jasper Miller saw her as nothing but a replacement for the woman he truly loved.“Jasper Miller, if I die one day, would you regret everything that you have done?”“Go ahead and die, then!”Summer Plath did not have any memories to call her own. Jasper Miller locked her up in a mansion and treated her like an idiot. She was a replacement, and he kept hurting her. However, one day, the little idiot who used to be completely under his control disappeared. Only then did he realize that it was too late…

"Let me borrow your husband for one night and I spare your dad's life." Trishia Meyer, the daughter of the Senator said. Arabella Jones was dumbfounded. She had to make a choice. To saved her father's company, Arabella had agreed to marry the evil billionaire, Bill Sky. They were bound to meet again after their coincidental kissed that night. They agreed to sign a non-disclosure contract and they swore not to love each other. Sacrificing herself to be with the domineering cold man and turning a blind eye to his sexual affairs with other women were some of the things she needed to endure everyday. Marriage with no love. Now that she conceived his baby, he wanted it to be aborted instantly. She thought that the baby inside her tummy would bring them closer together but he accused her on deceiving him. He looked at her as a two-timer and the worst gold digger. Arabella Jones then made a promise to herself that she would do everything to live a happy life with her baby away from him. Little did she knew, it's not for her to decide, that if the billionaire's wrath would allow her.

“Perempuan angkuh! Kau hanya seorang penari erotis, tapi sikapmu yang pongah ini seolah-olah kau adalah putri. Aku bisa saja menawarmu dengan uangku lalu memuaskan diriku dengan tubuhmu dan setelah itu membuangmu seperti sampah." Sean berbicara perlahan, dengan sengaja menekankan setiap kata. "Jadi Kesya mulai sekarang perhatikan sikapmu padaku, sebelum aku benar-benar menghancurkanmu tanpa sisa." Kesya tersenyum sinis lalu menjawab perkataan Sean yang seperti tak punya perasaan itu dengan sikap tenang. “Memangnya kenapa kalau aku penari erotis? Apa pekerjaanmu mengusik ketenanganmu? Kau mengataiku sampah tapi lihat dirimu sendiri, bukankah kau sangat menyedihkan? Jika kau sudah mengetahui bahwa aku ini sampah dan menjijikkan, kenapa kau malah mengejarku?” sambungnya dengan menohok ke dalam hati Sean.

Chance takes another drink of beer and points his finger at Alex. "I bet you can't." Alex doesn't understand why they think it is such a big deal. He can go without s*x if he wanted to. He just doesn't want to. What is so wrong with that? They should be thankful. It keeps him entertained and relaxed. Alex points his finger back at him. "I bet I can." Will Alex find it as easy as he thinks it will be to win the bet? Or will he run into some obstacles along the way? One of which is a tan muscular man who is willing to help Alex with whatever Alex needs, but is the man's help to win the bet or to win Alex?

Just as she’s starting her new life in Las Vegas, she gets an urgent call to return home to Atlanta. Deila Barbson could be stubborn, witty…among other things but she wasn’t the rogue her family thought her to be so she answered with equal urgency oblivious to what awaited her— her past. She’s faced with the person that’s haunted her beautiful nightmares everyday for two years. Betrayed by her heart, she found herself running again from whom she still longed for as the very air she breaths. Breathing was as difficult as commitments. Would she stand unbroken or she melt under his touch? Time they said healed every wound so why did his heart still bleed at the sight of the woman that left him shattered sixteen months ago? Hard-headed as he was, James Martin felt open as if it were yesterday he got stood up on his planned proposal dinner. He wanted answers, from her, from himself; why didn’t he feel anger towards her for breaking his heart? Why was his heart still thudding with hope at the sight of her? Why did Deila still unman him as if he wasn’t the macho CEO that intimidated even the Mayor? And most importantly, why did she return? Behind the unwilling woman and broken man was the dark secret both their families shared. What would be keeping them apart? Their ego? Or the family secret? Warning: This book contains mature words and sexual encounters that aren't suitable for readers under the age of 18.

Fear  Noun 1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension, consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm. Until that night, Kinsley never knew true fear, never felt terror. She could taste the fear on her tongue, salty with a hint of copper, her throat felt constricted. She wanted to scream but the terror was too thick in her throat, coating it to the point of near suffocation. She was prey and he was the hunter who never failed. Verendus was powerful, a ruthless and cruel Boss, he did not fail and he did not quit. Kinsley Anderson was a woman he coveted, and he would stop at nothing to claim her. He had the means and the manpower to pursue her to the ends of the earth and he would do it, claiming her once and for all.

"Five years and that's all you have to say to me?" he asked. Standing so close she could taste his breath. She wanted to move away from him. But she didn't want him to know just how much he affected her. So she stood right there. She wasn't going to let him intimidate her. "Well... Is there anything else you want me to say?" she asked The side of his mouth moved upwards. He was smiling? Why the hell was he smiling like that? She thought. She didn't remember saying anything funny. "You left... Kitty" he said. "I asked you to stay... Begged you to stay... And you left anyways.. With him. And now you come back... Acting like everything is okay between us...?" There was something about him... She thought. Something about the way he called her 'Kitty' that made her heart flip. "You shouldn't have gone with him". He said. "Oh really? Why not? Because you didn't want me to?" she asked. She was starting to get angry. "Yeah that's right" he replied. "And because of what you felt for me -what we felt for each other. When I came near you, you felt an excitement so intense that you ceased to breathe --like you are feeling right now. You wanted me just as much as I wanted you. And that should have been enough to make you stay" -------------------- Katherine Kavell has been in love with Jensen Packard ever since she was a teenager... And all she had ever wanted was for him to see her as more than his best friend's sister.Only he never did. So she decided to leave. But when she returns five years later with her son, Jensen Packard knows that he can't let her go for the second time.

Samantha Collins is a wild and rebellous rodeo girl, the daughter of Kevin Collins, the famous bronc and bull rider. She has spent her entire adult life traveling from Rodeo to Rodeo with her best friend and team mate Danielle Morgan, banking their earnings so that they can buy out her Father and take over the family's horse training and breeding facility. When she decides to attend the Red River Cattle Company's three day rodeo weekend, her father worries but sends her on her way.Alexander Bennett is the eldest of the four Bennett brothers, and the future Alpha of the Red River pack. He is in charge of the security and safety of the packs and, for only the second year in a row, the humans allowed to attend the rodeo. When his father, Alpha Michael, receives a registration for a Samantha Collins, he becomes increasingly anxious about her arrival. He places Alex in charge of her safety, and increases the patrols. He refuses to explain why, and simply attributes it to having humans at the rodeo.After running into the Bennett brothers, and having an accident at the camping site when she first arrives, Sam and Dani are into a world of werewolves, and secrets. Will Alex be able to keep her safe when she herself doesn't even know exactly what is going on? When a stranger appears at the rodeo, and Sam's past is revealed, can the pack's future be saved?

Pagkatapos niyang ma promote bilang Secretary ng CEO ay inaya niya ang kaibigan niyang mag bar,In enjoy niya ang Gabi at nagpaksaya hanggang sa nagising nalang siya na walang ibang saplot katabi ang lalaking nakakuha ng virginity niya, hindi niya pinag sisihan ang nangyari dahil gwapo naman ang nakakuha ng virginity niya pero ng makaharap niya ang CEO ay pinag sisihan niya ang lahat,Ang lalaking naka talik niya ng isang Gabi at Ang CEO ng kompanyang pinag tratrabahuan niya Ngunit paano kung hindi lang iyon ang mangyayari, paano kung aayain din siya ng boss niya sa isang Fake Marriage kapalit ng isang million Tatanggapin niya ba ito o tatanggihan?