tell me a filipino joke

“You can call me when you’re lonely. I’ll be your temporary fix.” Those were the words that he said to me and it was plain simple, he wanted nothing but sex and I wanted nothing more than too. I was the kind of girl who was too scared of falling in love again because I feel like there is something more in life than being mournful over a guy who never actually gave a hell. I deserve something more than pain and misery over a stupid heartbreak. Since then, I got too scared of commitment that I no longer wanted to be in one. I wanted fun and I wanted to feel like I am alive again. He was the kind of guy who was too busy for permanent relationships. The superstar that all women wanted to bang with. The kind of guy who would have any girls kneel down in front of him because well, he is that kind of guy. He was a guy with a hectic schedule, sold out world tours, drinking champagne in private jets, holding a mic in one hand and conquering all over the world on the other. Maybe I needed someone to show me how to live again and he needed someone to show him how to love.

Two packs. One big problem. A rivalry between two packs that has been ongoing for many years has to be put aside when they discover they are both suffering the same fate — Mysterious deaths with no trace. It goes on and on until a prophecy reveals that the destiny of a special young girl is intertwined with that of the alpha of the rival pack. A prophecy that is the only way to curb the mysterious activities in both territories. But both individuals do not seem ready to put aside the differences between them until fate starts to bind them together...

she never thought she will be abandoned like this on a dark, desolate rainy night after being used by the but aggressive Dawson Wayans, carrying his alive secret. what will happen when innocent Ruby Jane will become another prey of Dawson Wayan's lustful sins? how will she cope up with the evils of life alone after being renounced by the assertive devil? the personable and good looking Dawson Wayans never made a deal without a profit, and that was the sole reason he held a empire in the city of Manchester. forced by his nature, he also takes advantage of Ruby Jane's situation. he forces her to devour his hunger and then relinquish her to face the demons alone.

I'm accidentally pushed off a cliff when my fiancé and I are enjoying the sunset. I end up with grave injuries. As I drift in and out of consciousness, I hear Eric Bartholomew speaking to a doctor. "Gamma Derrina's injuries aren't that severe, Alpha. She can be treated even without her womb being removed!" "Shut up! Do it because I say it needs to be done. Don't forget that I'm the Alpha here—all you need to do is obey me! Only if Derrina loses her womb can my and Phyllis' pup to become the wolf pack's heir. "Use copious amounts of sedatives on her. I don't want her to wake up on the wedding day. She'll be sad if she sees that the bride isn't her." I open my eyes and look at Eric standing outside the room. He's like a monster with hands that can end lives. I'll make his wish come true since he wants to marry that weak Omega. I make a call. "I agree with the thing you asked me about before." The person on the other end of the line laughs. "The Moon Goddess loves the wise."

Ayana Ara Titania, mahasiswi pemalas plus penulis tak terkenal yang entah kenapa selalu jatuh cinta pada pemuda yang salah. Dua kali jatuh cinta, dua kali juga patah hati. Seolah dilarang move on, Ayana kembali bertemu dengan dua pemuda yang pernah menolaknya. Bahkan bertunangan dengan salah satunya. Apakah kali ini nasib percintaan Ayana akan lancar jaya seperti jalan tol? Oh, tentu tidak!!! Karena disaat yang bersamaan Ayana mengetahui rahasia gelap kedua pemuda itu, kenyataan bahwa kedua pemuda itu tidak pernah menyukai wanita. "Rasanya aneh melihat dua orang laki-laki yang pernah kusukai saling bermesraan," gumam Ayana linglung.

“I own you, Sunshine. And I am going to protect you with everything I own, including chopping the hands of those who ever dared my possession.” His eyes burned with possession as he caged her in between the walls and his calloused hand. His haunting eyes ran over her body, desire rippling through him as he yearned for every inch of her, over and over again. Anything could go unpunished, but certainly not whatever harmed his obsession. He would burn to world to aches if anyone came close. He was Alactor Meikh Drystan. And she? She was Rosealba Molvain. Typical opposite of him. She was the light that burned through his darkness, illuminating his venomous heart with her purification. With her, there Is a weird feeling to protect, to shelter, and to gratify and that was the total opposite of his existence. From the moment his eyes crossed her direction, he had undoubtedly yearned for her, desiring every bit of her. Time, body, heart, and soul. ******* When Rosealba got out of the toxic relationship with her cheating boyfriend. She was blessed to meet and date Mr perfect. (Drystan) He was everything she only experienced in books and more, but one can not judge a book by its nice intro. With a stalking ex and other factors, Rosealba's life came crushing as lies and deceit unfolded, threatening to sabotage her new relationship. Torn between love, hate, and external obstacles, Rosealba is not just haunted by the thoughts of Drystan, he is lurking at every corner. The desperation and desire to have her in his life again were greater than his quest for power, and if burning the world was everything it took to have her back in his arms then he would only stop at lengths that led to her.

Roxanne seems to have the perfect life. Fairytale romance, doting family, a passion for the violin. The only imperfect areas of her life, like her elder brother's best friend, Florian, with whom she had shared her first kiss years ago, is carefully tucked away and paid no attention. That is until after she receives a call from an unknown number the night before her wedding. Damien, her fiance was supposedly taking some time with his friends at a country house, but after the caller prompted her to check the exclusive strip club in downtown California, Roxanne's blood runs cold. She drives all the way there, and to her greatest disappointment and heartbreak, her fears are confirmed, as the first sight to greet was her fiance and three other women all bent over. The sight is nauseating, and she could barely make her way out of the club when suddenly, Billionaire heir and her brother's best friend, Florian, appears out of nowhere. He offers to take her home, but during the drive, Roxanne changes her mind. The last thing she wants is to go home right now. The first thing on her mind was revenge, and she had the perfect person driving her. She would allow herself to use him for that one night, but was she really using him?

"Two hundred pieces of gold." I whipped my head in the direction of the voice. It was sexy and authoritative. "No. Make it three hundred pieces of gold. I want that woman." The crowd gasped. My eyes frantically looked for that person and came face to face with a man whose hair reminded me of the ashes after burning the wood. His gray eyes bore into mine. 'Mine,' my wolf uttered. "Going once. Twice. Thrice. Sold!" Master Henderson was all smiles. "The item goes to His Majesty King Elio. You will never regret it, Your Majesty." King Elio? I knew that name. The Lycan King was my mate? ------------------------------- Flora was desperate to look for Sabrina, her sister who was suddenly missing five years ago. She believed it had something to do with the Lycan King. 'Cause why not? Their cruel custom of selling or killing unmated she-wolves every five years started because of the Lycan King.

Ang saya ko habang sakay ng isang magandang sasakyan, labis ang aking katauwaan ng makalabas sa ampunan. Buong akala ko ay magbabago na ang takbo ng aking buhay sa paglabas sa bahay na aking kinagisnan. Ngunit bakit,bakit mas sobra pa ang lupit na aking naranasan sa mga taong ang akla ko ay kaya akong iahon sa kamangmanangan. Maawa ka tulongan mo ako__Anne Gonzalis.

HER : I had to leave, i had my reasons. Leaving changed me. I had to forget my past, to adapt with my present, to face the future. I suddenly came back, but the problem is...I am different now. HIM : She left, without any reason, she didn't even say goodbye. Losing her changed me. I couldn't forget my past, my present stopped, i can't face the future. She suddenly came back, but the problem is...I am different now. We saw them fight, laugh, shout, cry. We saw them fall in love, we saw them get married and start on with their lives. But one man from her past -suddenly comes back- knocks on her door, enters her life and everything after goes downhill. Secret reveals, dreams get shattered, hearts get crashed, old wounds open again, and new scars start to show. They split apart, they hate , they change. And right now; they're not dead, yet still not alive. And the question stays; Will they ever get their love back, or will it just be the death of them both?