kumpulan humor islami

"Life and Death are like green and red: you can't be both, but you can be neither. " Will you accept if you were given a chance to live forever? Or would you rather live with the fact that life ends with death? For Simon, there is no other choice than to live until everyone dies. All he wants is to be dead, but how?

Naniniwala si Pelipe na muli niyang makakapiling ang kaniyang minamahal, ang kaniyang nobya na si Maria pagkatapos nitong mamatay. Ngunit paano kung sa kanilang muling pagkikita ay hinde na sila magka-kilala at ang babaeng minahal niya sa nakaraan ay nag-iba na sa kasalukuyan. Sa nakaraan kung saan ang ala-ala ni Pelipe at ang mundo nila na nasa kasalukuyan. Paano nga ba nila haharapin ang katotohanan? muli nga ba nilang pagbibigyan ang pagmamahalan na naiwan sa nakaraan, o iiwasan nila na maulit ang masakit na kapalaran? Tunghayan ang kwento ng dalawang tao na pinaghiwalay ng nakaraan at muling pinagtagpo ng kasalukuyan.

Since childhood, all I dreamed of was marrying a handsome man, a big house, and many children- A big happy family. So how did I end up in his bed? It’s not a one-night stand that I can forget, but it was more than that. I accepted his deal, and he agreed to teach me- Things…. (so dirty things). I had wet dreams but never knew my fortes until he showed me. I am Rubel Johnson, an untouched woman until he showed me, how to touch myself. #loveguru #passion #enemytofriends #kiss #erotic #humor

Jacob Alfred, seorang pemuda berusia 30 tahun, belum pernah menghabiskan malam minggu bareng makhluk bernama perempuan. Kesehariannya hanya dihabiskan bersama sahabatnya, si Willy kribo. Sedangkan, emak Alf di kampung, sudah ngebet banget pengen punya calon mantu dari Alf. Hingga suatu saat, seorang wanita cantik dari masa SMA Alf dulu, datang dan mengajaknya malam mingguan bareng. Apakah ini salah satu tanda awal bahwa Alf sebentar lagi akan melepas masa lajangnya? Yuk, ikuti kisah Alf yang penuh kekonyolan dalam mencari cinta sejatinya?

"Help, please don't forget." Long ago, in the times of kings and queens. There was a school built inside a king's castle. It was made to educate the most intelligent children of the whole land. A girl named Kathleen gets an invitation to this school. This school was very secretive, with many rules. But the one main rule, not ever to be broken, never to disturb the King. Levi, King of the northern lands, lives a very lonely life. With only his brother to speak to. He has one massive secret-keeping him from the outside world. In order to maintain the high ranking of his kingdom and to cure this lonely feeling he can't help, he builds a school right in his large castle. With his own wing, just for himself. When Kathleen gets invited it was mainly for her musical talent. Being amazing at the Chello. But being that curious person she is she seeks into the King's wing. Knocking his large bedroom door. When the King opens she's presented with the most beautiful man she's ever come across. Then spending every night together after that. Being enchanted by each other. But with her grades dropping she's starts getting swamped with work. They start drifting apart. One year before her graduation she starts getting dreams about her time with the King. She starts investigating, uncovering memories, confronting the King about them. Will she be able to handle her school work, fall in love with the King once more. Will Kathleen be able to handle discovering all these secrets of the king, herself, and the kingdom or will it be too much? Will she leave it all behind? *Clean* ---------------------------

Olivia Simon lost her twin brother, Oliver in a ghastly car accident. Down with heartbreak and loneliness, she ran away from home to her aunt Grace's in Australia. Crying and missing her brother, she decided to become him to ease her pain. Kane Boron, the heir to the MavinTech, known to be cold and arrogant but indeed was looking for a friend happens to hit off with a new guy on his 28 birthday party and they became best of friends. What happens when Olivia notice she was in love with her best friend, how is she going to tell him without him being angry that she deceived him? How is Kane going to cope when he noticed that he was attracted to his friend and really wants to kiss him? What happens to his preference? Is he turning gay? He found himself in a big dilemma with no how to escape.

Aileen Ramirez ay isang probinsyanang babae na napadpad sa siyudad ng ka-maynilaan dahil sa nangyaring hindi niya maipaliwanag. Nagtungo siya sa Maynila dahil sa isang oppurtunidad na sinabi ng kanyang tiyahin at para malimutan narin ang bangungot ng kanyang buhay. Dahil sa oppurtunidad na ito, nakilala niya si Dark Valentin at the very young age isa na itong multi-billionaire. A hot-tempered guy, handsome face, broad body and his attractive black orb at pasan ang mundo dahil laging nakakunot na noo. Para kay Aileen ay inahalintulad niya ito na isang naglalakad na poker face emoticon. Pero juice ko colored! Kahit ganoon ay makalalag panty naman ang kakisigan ng lalakeng ito. Kung ganoon, kaya niya kayang maabsorb ng kanyang loading na utak kung malalaman niya ang mala-aksyon star ang buhay nito?

I pressed my lips against his and stole his sweet, savory taste, not ready to end the sweet moment. I licked my lips seductively and whispered. "Despite your age, I love you." Sarah was obsessed with the man of her dreams, despite knowing that their love was forbidden and would be disapproved by her father and others. She held onto the many beautiful dreams she had of being with him, wishing for them to come true. She found herself in love with her father's best friend, a very handsome man who had been rejected by his wife. Her desire was to show him what true love really meant. When her father received a job transfer,Sarah saw it as a perfect opportunity to be with him. The situation improved even more when she realized they would be living under the same roof.

Drunk Aayana cups Ira's face and intends to kiss her, "Aayana, are you in your senses? I mean, do you really want it?" Ira is confused. "Of course, I am in my senses. I have wanted you since I saw you in a TV interview. You were just 20. It has been 3 years, Ira." Aayana's eyes are releasing tears of longing. "I am so sorry, you had to wait for me for a long time. I promise to keep my queen happier from now on. I will fulfill the pain of separation with my love." Ira takes Aayana in her arms with happiness. She is feeling blessed by getting selfless love which she was yearning for after facing so much deception and pain. ... Ira is the youngest successful entrepreneur and contains a humble nature and longing for someone who will love her selflessly. Whereas Aayana has had a secret crush on Ira since the moment she saw her. Due to her position, she fails to reach the moon. However, she manages to touch the moon of her dream. But can they stay together? Their forbidden feelings, will their love get the desired destination? Will their souls be able to be together?...

After Noah's death, what greeted him was an AI system calling itself Black, offering him a job working for the World and Soul Management Bureau.  He has to travel to many different worlds, taking over an identity of some unfortunate soon-to-be-dead dude, and live out the remainder of his new life there however he wanted. Easy-peasy! ...Right? ...Ok, sure, there are a few small kinks here and there... like terrorist attacks, murder plots, zombie apocalypses, and the like... but one should always look at the bright side! Noah: "...Blackie, is it just me, or is this good brother of mine looking at me like a hungry wolf seeing a juicy piece of meat?" (°△°|||) Black: "Don't worry, host. He is just a bit excited due to nearly losing his life back there. You know, adrenaline." (¬‿¬) Noah: "…are you sure that's what's really going on here?" (っ °Д °;)っ Black: "Absolutely!" (≖‿≖) … ~ Many worlds later ~ Noah: "This secret mission that you can't tell me about… it can't possibly be to get fucked by the least appropriate target?!" (°ㅂ°╬) Black: "Of-of course not! Ho-how could that possibly be, eh?" (; ﾟ 3ﾟ )~♪ ML: Right, right, that's just a very (not so) coincidental bonus. Ψ(╹ڡ╹ )Ψ 💠 Author Note 💠 * SSC has long arcs. Each world is a fully-fledged novel on its own. * Don't let the summary (or the cover) fool you! While SSC does have an occasional explicit smut, it is primarily a fluffy and hilarious romance! * Pairings are one-on-one and taboo-ish. (E.g. hired assassin and his target, monster tamer and his tamed beast, master and disciple, siblings, brothers-in-law, etc.) * More info in the info chapter Author website: lucypandora.com Support the author on ko-fi: ko-fi.com/lucypandora Discord: lucypandora.com/discord