funny tagalog joke

Imagine you planned to have your boyfriend kidnapped, delivered to your blindfolded and gagged. You fuck him, and pull the hood off after, only to be face to face with a stranger. That stranger, you quickly lean, is the Don of the Cosa Nostra. He's all too pleased to have taken part in your kidnap fantasy.

🥀 The 1st book of 'The Alpha's Hated Mate' series 🥀 All her life, Gisella Odette has been running from an unknown force her father feared with their lives. Until one atrocious night she's taken. Lost and troubled, she finds herself in the arms of a daunting man who hates her with his guts and won't stop until she has known pain. Hades Desmond Vilkas is a man of vengeance. Scarred by his agonizing past, he is set out to inflict torment into the one's soul that wrecked havoc in his perfect childhood. However, fate plays a cruel joke on them when they turn out to be mates. Will Hades be able to leash his inner beast and recognize his one true soulmate before fate carries him through the same deprivation again, or will he fall prey to his own demons?

"Say, lo mau jadi pacar gue nggak? Kalau nggak mau ya udah, gue aja yang jadi pacar lo."Bagi Danish tawuran adalah hiburan. Tidak perlu balok kayu, pedang panjang atau senjata ramah lingkungan untuk menaklukan lawan, sebotol sunblock bisa diandalkan untuk menghadapi sekolah musuh. Sebab panas matahari bisa membakar kulit dan pukulan balok di tubuh tidak lebih menyeramkan dibanding ancaman kanker. Lagipula glowing butuh usaha dan wajah gantengnya harus dijaga.Danish akan menghadapi mereka dengan tangan kosong, kecuali kepepet boleh ambil balok. Namun dia jatuh hati pada seorang gadis anak perwira TNI. Tentu saja itu sebuah tantangan bagi siswa badung yang gemar tawuran. Apakah gadis itu akan berhasil Danish dapatkan?

One vampire. One Vampire hunter. A forbidden bond. Isabelle Howell seems like your average everyday girl, but I'll let you in on a little secret. She's actually a Slayer and a very good one at that. She spends her nights tangling with the somewhat unsavoury supernaturals that roam the earth, feasting on innocents. Committed to her job and unknown hero to the average humans who walk around blissfully unaware. Isabelle is over the moon when she is given a high priority assignment, something she has waited for, for so long. The chance to prove she can handle herself, the chance to work her way up to the elite team and go on the really dangerous assignments. Her target, you ask? Cassius Lockwood. Powerful pureblood vampire. As handsome as he is cruel. The blood- fiend, well known for his merciless ways. His reputation doesn't put her off if anything she finds the challenge exciting. That is, however, until she has him (or who she thinks is him) cowering before her. At a time where she should be thrilled, it just isn’t right and what he says to her will haunt her for the rest of her days.

nakatanggap sya ng balita na ang isa sa malaki nilang kumpanya ay ninanakawan ng hindi malaman kung sino. Kinausap nya ang kanyang magulang na hayaan syang tuklasin kung sino ito. Nagpanggap na simpleng empleyado si Sam bilang sekretarya ni Grace. Si Grace na napakasuplada, masungit at mahirap basahin na tao. kaya malaki ang pagdududa ni Sam na baka si Grace ang nagnakaw ng pera ng kumpanya. Magkasing edad lamang sila pero mataas na ang katungkulan nito.

He is loathsome, arrogant and handsome doctor with uncouth mouth. She is a simple sales girl. Being straightforward and brave, she shamelessly pursued him, sending him gifts, meals, flowers and tried to get close to him. She was humiliated when his staff gossiped about her and she retreated. Then he rejected her and told her they could only be friends. She tried her best to avoid him but no matter how much she tried they frequently cross paths. Suddenly one day he told her. "Be my girlfriend!" What a mess!

After getting the betrayal from 6 years of loyal relationship, Jenny Gomez, 25 decided to seduce her boss to take revenge. She was bold and stubborn, even got successful leading her boss to the . But suddenly, a strange yet stunning man showed up in her house and claimed to be the person whom she had spent the night with. Who knew, fate always likes to joke around with her. He was the man of his words. He was cold as ice and had a strong physics. To add some salt in her injury, he smiled cruelly and asked, "Jenny, how's the feeling last night?"

Ever read a story that made you laugh and cry hard?Jace Roger is the world's biggest flirt and has always succeeded in getting what he wanted with little to no effort at all. He just knew all the right moves and all the right words to say when it came to getting women to do what he wanted. His perfect bachelor world crashes when Ashley comes into his sights. When he is denied and given no reward for his efforts, Jace begins to fear that he has met his match. Determined to get Ashley to at least notice him, he spends every waking moment unleashing every trick in the book to get her to fall for him. In his mission of a lifetime, he begins to discover the very meaning of life and what it means to actually try and put effort in a relationship. Jace's world is turned upside down and he has no idea what to do next. Will he run for the hills in the end or will he begin enjoying her play Hard To Get?

Luka was the best Alpha the Brightwater Pack ever had. That is, until he loses his mate and everything comes crashing down. Having lost everything he loved and his one real reason for living, he attempts suicide on a human territory, when Victoria intervenes and ruin his plans. She makes it her duty to help the man that 'couldn't be saved', after he constantly refuses her help. What happens when she uncovers his secrets one by one? Will Victoria give up on him, or will she surprise them both? Who would've thought that she could save him just in the nick of time? Or does she....

Hindi alam ni Lia kung bakit napakamalas niya pagdating sa pag-ibig, twenty-eight years old na sya ngunit NBSB pa rin na maging ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kaniya ay nababahala na rin… Na nagtulak sa kaniya para pumasok sa isang night bar. “Don’t be nervous, Lia, matutuwa ka sa main event ng bar na ito!” Saad ng kaibigan niya habang nakatanaw sa entablado. Bago pa man makakibo si Lia at nagsimula ng maghiyawan ang mga babae sa paligid, isang lalaking naka-mask ang lumabas na tanging brief lamang ang suot. “The bidding will start now!” anunsyo ng MC sa gilid. “29 thousands!” Sigaw ng isang babae na nagpatahimik sa lahat. “29 thousands, going twice, going trice, wala na bang hahabol?” Muling tanong ng MC. Hindi alam ni Lia kung ano ang pumasok sa isip niya para itaas ang kamay, “30 thousand!” Sigaw niya bago pa man i-close ang bidding. “30 Thousand, the bidding is close! You’ll have one night with him!"