funny mom jokes dirty

UNDER SERIOUS EDITING!!! Roy’s boring life is turned upside down when a gorgeous man who the world knows as Bryan Anderson, the ruthless, cunning and aloof CEO of Anderson Inc. aka, his boss reveals some shocking information. One—he is a werewolf—Lycan crown prince, in line to take over his father’s throne. Two—he is gay (Bryan, who had women hanging off his arms.) Three, he wants Roy in his bed—Bryan, the guy who had a restraining order filed against an obsessive heiress. But there’s a problem, Bryan is fiercely secretive about his….preferences as his father is disgusted by the idea of men being together whereas Roy is openly gay. However, when Roy gives Bryan an ultimatum to choose between him and his inheritance as King of the Lycan Kingdom, Bryan decides to be engaged to a Lycan princess to save Roy's life. Will Roy be able to convince his sexy billionaire to come out of his shell or will he be Bryan’s dirty little secret, his plaything forever?

Everyone wants to be me. Who wouldn't? I've got the looks, sexy body, money and Andrew Maru Ottave, my husband.But if they will only knew who I really am and what's happening in my life, I doubt that they want to be in my place. Since I was a child, I don't have a right to choose the person I want to be with, because my parents already arranged it for me.Its not actually a new thing with the elite. Because even my parents is a product of an arrange marriage. They marry for business and have a child for business. And just like my mom I will just also be a business wife.

Night Stalker Series 3: Forrest Wood is an enigmatic tattooed bartender who lives in two worlds to protect someone he loves. He never questions his self-control over temptations while searching for answers for half his life. Until something has changed in a woman, he’s been keeping tabs for a while. When he’s finally ready to deal with his feelings, he knows nothing can be easy in his life—it only complicates his plans and his secrets that Megan might not accept who truly he is. A flirty, blunt, and funny, Megan Simons built her walls over relationships until her life crumbles down in front of her. Forrest comes to the rescue. She finds him intriguing and beyond attractive. When she starts bringing her walls down, she finds herself in a situation where Forrest Wood is more than what meets the eye.

Warning: Matured 18+ contents! HAVING a prosperous rich lifelike Celestine Rain Alcazar is like living in a lie. When she's living in a cage—no freedom of things she wanted. She has the money, luxury, beauty, and brain that men are drooling over her. But there is still something missing in her perfect life. Closing into edge is her feeling when her mom introduced her to Ezekiel Bellevera for an arranged marriage. Her mom doesn't know her secrets between her sheets. Immersed in a fantasy life, Celestine will unravel her identity proving that Ezekiel wasn't the guy for her. And showing that most of the people are Not A Saint, the same as her. The freedom of being true to yourself is her weapon. And she will prove them wrong. But what if the person she loves been cheating on her with her fiancé, Ezekiel, and caught it red-handed? Would she forgive and forget or this is her start of vengeance towards men?

“Am I selling myself!?” I asked as I looked at the documents in front of me. He looked up, and with a sly smile said: “Yes.” Just like that, I was forced into a marriage with the most eligible bachelor of NY. He was the heartless boss everyone feared, the enigmatic CEO that I worked for until I desperately needed money for my mom’s treatment and had to “sell myself”. But what would happen when his truth came out that he, in fact, was also a mafia boss? Scratch that – what would happen when every time he hurt me, I wanted to help him? Could I make the heart less boss feel something, or would I kill myself trying? I'm Hailey, and this is my story. I didn't know how it would go, until he came in and took control. Now all I yearn for is him, but would he ever feel the same about me?

New girl Cierra makes a big impression with the popular kids on her first day at High Moon High School.When Titan takes a shine to her, will it blossom or will there be a spanner or two in the works.When Cierra meets the leaders of her new group of friends, she learns quickly that she would rather live like them than without them but when all of her friends are involved in an attack and the twins are left comatose will she have what it takes to step up, to show everyone what she is made of? Cierra Cardle needs to stay strong and not crumble through the trials. Can Cierra and her loved ones pull through? Join them in this romantic action filled adventure.**********Today is my 5th first day in high school so nothing new to me, same thing different school no doubt. Snotty popular girls, ass hat jocks, and everything in between.A weak human girl in a warewolf world, scrap that, a bad ass girl in a big scary world. Bring on the wolves!

The moon goddess had a sense of humor for pairing Fiona with the devilish alpha behind all her struggles. Worst still, the devilish Alpha rejects her And just when she thinks her hopes of a fairytale love is crushed and she would live alone in her misery The powerful rival of her mate swoops into her life with sexy blue eyes and an unwavering interest and a burning passion for her. She is torn between the teeth of two powerful Alphas The one who refuses to claim her and the one who wants to consume her. But now Fiona has learned to fight dirty and would do anything to get the attention of her mate including getting her fingers into the deep and becoming a pawn for her so called mate. What she doesn't realize is that all along she is on the wrong side of the battle She is tangled in a steamy twist of betrayal, secrets, revenge, and love. With only one thing she on her mind; love. When the truth reveals can she forgive? Can true love triumph over revenge? And can one love the devil?

Book Two of Cruel Intentions Series. This book can be read as a stand-alone, but for better comprehension of the characters, it is recommended to be read after Betrayed the Mafia. Theodore is the second in command of the Irish mob in New York. He is known as a player, use and toss. Theo hates relationships seeing them as useless. Theodore is funny and lighthearted around his friends, but when dealing with business, he is ruthless and heartless. His cold heart always prevails. Theodore is manipulative and a great liar. Theodore is chosen to help forge an alliance between the Irish and the Americans. He needs to marry the daughter of the boss. He takes his job and position seriously and accepts his fate. He doesn’t believe in love anyway, so that nothing will change for him. He will just have to wear a ring and play house. What happens when she is the girl he has avoided for years, the girl he feels the need to protect? He sees her as a weakness. He condones how she lives her life, but the day he allows himself to get close to her, everything changes, and his addiction to her becomes impossible to resist. Theodore is everything Everly has always dreamed of as an online romance novel writer, and she is inexperienced and sassy. The only way she has experienced love is through her books. She lives almost in captivity because of who she is, and Her purity will be negotiable. But once Theodore pops her cherry, he can’t stay away, involving her in a thread of lies and manipulations that she could only imagine as a plot of one of her books.

Willa has been running for as long as she could remember along side her twin brother, West and her mother. Their Mother has always told them that a someone is after them. Life was difficult since their mother trained them to be ready for anything, even her death. Two years after their mom died, the twins luck has finally run out and they are captured but they are shocked to discover that it's their own father and brothers they've been running from. Now reunited, will the twins finally find happiness and family or will they end up being destroyed by their family's dark secret? With everyone hiding secrets, what is the truth? What is safe? The twins have only ever believed in their motto, Chaos not cash, maim not murder and each other. Can they trust anyone else and more importantly, should they?

Falling in love is the easiest part but trying to be ignorant about it and pushing it all away? What good would that do anyway? Meet Lucy Wilson, a 26 year old surgeon. Her work brings her back to New York, the place where she grew up with her childhood friend. A confident, young, beautiful woman who is well aware of the amount of attention she receives from the opposite sex but all these years she has been career focused and never allowed herself to get distracted by serious relationships. Meet Theodore Phillips, a 27 year old guy who is currently residing at New York. A full time Chef by profession and a pretty normal guy who lives a normal peaceful life. Just the way he likes it until he meets his childhood friend after almost 7 years. What happens when they try to reconnect ? Will they be able to let go of their silly fights from the past and move on as friends? Most importantly, will they be able to stay as friends as they claim to be or something more than that? Dive into their story filled with joy, fun, laughter and oh yeah, crazy drama of course.