funny filipino jokes

Ever read a story that made you laugh and cry hard?Jace Roger is the world's biggest flirt and has always succeeded in getting what he wanted with little to no effort at all. He just knew all the right moves and all the right words to say when it came to getting women to do what he wanted. His perfect bachelor world crashes when Ashley comes into his sights. When he is denied and given no reward for his efforts, Jace begins to fear that he has met his match. Determined to get Ashley to at least notice him, he spends every waking moment unleashing every trick in the book to get her to fall for him. In his mission of a lifetime, he begins to discover the very meaning of life and what it means to actually try and put effort in a relationship. Jace's world is turned upside down and he has no idea what to do next. Will he run for the hills in the end or will he begin enjoying her play Hard To Get?

Hindi alam ni Lia kung bakit napakamalas niya pagdating sa pag-ibig, twenty-eight years old na sya ngunit NBSB pa rin na maging ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kaniya ay nababahala na rin… Na nagtulak sa kaniya para pumasok sa isang night bar. “Don’t be nervous, Lia, matutuwa ka sa main event ng bar na ito!” Saad ng kaibigan niya habang nakatanaw sa entablado. Bago pa man makakibo si Lia at nagsimula ng maghiyawan ang mga babae sa paligid, isang lalaking naka-mask ang lumabas na tanging brief lamang ang suot. “The bidding will start now!” anunsyo ng MC sa gilid. “29 thousands!” Sigaw ng isang babae na nagpatahimik sa lahat. “29 thousands, going twice, going trice, wala na bang hahabol?” Muling tanong ng MC. Hindi alam ni Lia kung ano ang pumasok sa isip niya para itaas ang kamay, “30 thousand!” Sigaw niya bago pa man i-close ang bidding. “30 Thousand, the bidding is close! You’ll have one night with him!"

Lalaine Xerano once dreamed is to being part of an exclusive documentary company. She pursues her dream even if she finds out that the company hired her for some other reason— to uncover the very influential person. Maximus Luciano, is a high-profile Capo Dei Capi, a half Italian half Filipino citizen. He was also known as a dangerous leader of the Lotus Organization. While she was reading his records, it was as if she was already in danger. When the top management guaranteed her future career, without a second thought he immediately accepted it. Will she succeed to tame the mafia lord? Or her drill will only lead to her defeat? ______________ Content Warning: This story has mature scenes which are not suitable for young readers!

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

Menikah karena kesepakatan? Itulah yang dijalani Aldric Andrian dan Fathimah. Aldric hanya butuh keturunan, tapi siapa sangka dia malah jatuh dalam pesona Fathimah. Gadis sederhana yang mengikat Aldric dengan kasih sayang. Takdir, begitu Fathimah menyebutnya. Dia tidak menyangka jika laki-laki lumpuh yang menjadi suaminya. Laki-laki kaku dan dingin, yang berubah menjadi manja. Laki-laki penuh rahasia. Romantisme sesaat yang mereka berdua jalani. Nyatanya, telah menghadirkan ikatan kuat di antara mereka. Status Aldric yang tidak di ketahui Fathimah, membuatnya seringkali dalam bahaya. Pernikahan yang akan menyeret Fathimah dalam pusaran permainan tingkat tinggi. Dalam ketidaktahuannya, dia adalah tumbal dalam kesepakatan antar ketua mafia di masa lalu.

Her hair is a lustrous blond. Her eyes are flashing blue-violet. She is sweet and childlike. They call her Angelina. Though it doesn't feel right. How can she tell them that underneath her innocent personality she feels something more? Something wild. Something dangerous. Something she had been before. But she doesn't understand. ____ He knows she has secrets. Underneath her timid personality. She is something more. She is someone he will be willing to explore. Something he is willing to expose. He calls her Angel. His Angelina.

Reggie is a concubus doing her part in the fight against the false elites. While doing recon for the resistance, she was attacked by ex-trackers. With little memory, aside from her mission, the unique concubus is working for more than just the safety of her people. She is working to find out who she is and where she belongs. Once she returns to the resistance, she finds out her true purpose, to complete a powerful spell that will help in the coming battle with the false elites... and die. In this final installment of the Vasilia Series, all questions will be answered and all vengeance will be brought about. Before reading this, make sure to catch up to the story so far with The Demon Queen's Desire and The Demon Queen's Duty.

Siya si Danielle, short for Daniella Marasigan Sandoval. Anak mayaman, kung kayat lahat ng gusto niya ay kanyang nakukuha. Sa katunayan siya ang nag isang anak ni Eduardo Sandovall, ang nagmamay ari ng pagawaan ng mamahaling sasakyan sa bansa. Maganda, mabait at higit sa lahat mapagmahal sa mga taong itinuturing siyang pamilya. Isa lang ang kulang sa kanyang buhay at ang pinakaasam asam niya, walang iba kundi ang atensiyon at pagmamahal ng kanyang ama. Lalaki kasi ang gusto ni Eduardo Sandoval na maging anak kung kayat sobra itong nadismaya ng babae ang lumabas noong manganak ang kanyang asawa na si Victoria Marasigan Sandoval. Muntik kasi itong mamatay nang ipanganak siya kung kayat hindi na siya nasundan o di kaya ay nagkaroon pa ng kapatid. Noong kabataan niya ay isa siyang prinsesa ngunit ng nagkaroon ng isip at nalaman ang dahilan kung bakit malayo ang loob sa kanya ng kanyang ama ay binago niya ang kanyang sarili. Mula sa magagandang bestida ay pinalitan niya ng maluluwang na t-shirts at jeans. Ang laruan niyang manika ay naging barilbarilan at ang pangarap niyang maging model ay naging taga kalikot ng makina ng mga sasakyan. Ang mga activities na kanyang sinasalihan ay para sa mga kalalakihan, kagaya ng karate, taekwando, shooting, motto cross, drag race at kung ano ano pa. Hindi naman iyon sinabi ng kanyang ama bagkus ay sarili niya itong pasya lalo na ng sabihin nito minsan na ayaw niya sa babaeng mahina kung kayat pati ang pagtatago ng emosyon ay praktisado na niya. Ngunit ang lahat ng kanyang effort ay tila hindi nakikita ng kanyang ama, bagkus ay bale wala ang lahat ng ito sa kanya.

Bonnie and Clyde. Friends to lovers. Lovers to strangers. Bonnie Angelou has always been in love with her childhood best friend; Clyde. She did so many unimaginable things just to keep him looking at her. Ayaw na ayaw niya kapag naagaw ng iba ang atensyon ng lalaki mula sa kanya. Kaya naman para siyang super glue kung makadikit dito para mabantayan at huwag maagaw ng iba ang minamahal. Lahat ng kalokohan, sasakyan niya. Lahat ng hiling, pagbibigyan niya. Pero sa huli, mukhang hindi pa rin sapat...

Ethan Lewis has been in the bright lights for as long as he can remember. He’s just turned the cusp of celebrating his twenty-fourth birthday, and yet he feels more like eighty. Living the life of a celebrity isn’t all it is chalked up to be, and dealing with the unruly number of women who are more interested in his billions than who he is as a person is getting old. He has resigned himself to giving up on love and focusing on the only thing that truly gives back – his career. Riley Phillips has always dreamed of being on a big stage with the warmth of the spotlight baring down on her, but she just couldn’t seem to catch the right agent’s attention. After giving a quick commencement speech as Valedictorian of her graduating class at Billmore High, she’s offered something she can’t refuse... The chance to work in Hollywood. It’s not all it’s chalked up to be, but she works hard and finally gets her big break four years down the line. There is a new movie that her agent wants her to audition for, and her co-star? The dreamy Ethan Lewis. She scores the part, but soon regrets it due to his callous, overbearing persona. He’s nothing like the public touts, and she for one isn’t impressed. Funny enough, he is - immensely.