funny condom sayings

Simple, Smart, Sexy and Serene? then I must have you. Oh, you don’t date playboys? tough luck. Funny how I’ve been commanded to stay away from you but where’s the fun in that? If you think you can walk away from me, think again. You think dating someone else will deter me? watch me strategically deal with him so he wouldn’t dare touch you again. In fact, I will publicly claim you so that no sane man will dare to ever want you. I see you love your family and village so much, now I love them too, I might as well take them over. It’s not possession, I’m just crazy about you. Dream big baby, be the scientist you want to be. I will even build a research lab for you right here, now you have no reason to ever leave my side. It really hurts that you thought you were never going marry me, I might have omitted to tell you that we’ve been married for almost three years now and I don’t do divorce. Oh, don’t rely much on that contraceptive injection you’ve been taking because when I want an heir, I get an heir. You can be stubborn and rebellious, I find it cute but don’t go too far because you see that house and that village you love so much, you will have to watch it burn to the ashes. I am S’bu, the CEO of JC and the heir to the Jobe empire. I want you to be completely mine, who are you to go against me?

Si Averill Mae Fuentes ay hindi simpleng tao gaya ng karamihan. Nakikita, naririnig, at nahahawakan niya ang mga kaluluwa ng mga taong namayapa na. Naging kaibigan niya ang isa sa mga kinatatakutan ng mga ito na kilala sa bansag na 'grim reaper'. Si Silas, sa kabilang banda ay isang multo, guwapong multo na kahit na si Averill na tao ay agad na napansin. Paano kung isang araw, ang guwapong multo ay humingi ng pabor sa kaniya? Matulungan kaya ni Averill ang guwapong multong ito? Paano kung mahulog ang loob ng isa sa kanila? Handa kaya syang malaman ang sikretong bumabalot sa pagkatao ni Silas o tuluyan itong magiging dahilan para layuan siya? Walang pinipili ang pag-ibig, ngunit paano kung sumibol ito sa pagitan ng multo at ng tao?

Ryo Matsuda is the Prince of the Entertainment business but he is fed up with love. He always finds himself in a relationship where he was either just seen as a tool to enter the show business or as a living ATM. Liz Ross is a young passionate pastry chef. Her love life is nowhere close to the sweetness of the cakes she makes. She'd been in a number of relationships where she finds herself cheated on. Their world unexpectedly collided in a beautiful stroke of luck. Will they hold on to their promise to keep love out of their lives or will they take another gamble and give love a chance?

Lia doesn't know why she's so unlucky when it comes to love, she's twenty-eight years old but still NBSB that even the people around her are worried... Which pushed her to enter a night bar. "Don't be nervous, Lia, you'll be happy with the main event of this bar!" Her friend excitedly said while looking at the stage. Before Lia could move and the women around started to cheer, a masked man came out wearing only a small cloth to hide his dick. "The bidding for him will start now!" the MC announced on the side. “29 thousand!” A woman screamed. "29 thousand, going twice, going trice, is there no one going to fight?" The MC asked. Lia didn't know what was going through her mind to raise her hand, "30 thousand!" She shouted before the bidding was closed. "30 thousand, the bidding is close! You'll have one hot night with him!"

Dahil sa isang aksidente ay nagbukas ang third eye ni Quinn Belle at sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, nakita niya ang lihim sa likod ng luma at nakakatakot na itsyura ng old Diplomat hotel na pinangangalagaan ng isang masungit but charming na si Florence. Sa pagkakataong ito ay binigyan ng misyon si Quinn kasama si Grim reaper na kamukhang-kamukha ni Florence, upang hanapin ang mga lost soul upang maihatid na sila sa liwanag. Sa kanilang pagsasama na puro bangayan ay may isang pangyayari sa nakaraan ang mauungkat at may kinalaman ito sa matagal na pananatili ni Florence sa lupa. Hanggang saan nga ba ang tapang ni Quinn para harapin ang mga nakakatakot at med'yo pasaway na mga multo? Maari nga bang muling tumibok ang pusong matagal ng patay?

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, and for Ella Blake, it was a fastball right to the heart. On the same day she discovered she was pregnant, her husband, Lucas, dropped a bombshell: his childhood sweetheart, Amy, was also expecting—and he wanted Ella to raise the child. Talk about a double whammy! Devastated and feeling utterly betrayed, Ella packed her bags and left the life she once knew, vowing never to look back. Fast forward six years, and she's back, but with a new look and a fierce attitude. Lucas can’t believe his luck when he spots her, mistaking their chemistry for a chance to rekindle their past. But with secrets, old feelings, and Amy reappearing with her own bombshell, can Ella find a way to reclaim her heart, or will revenge take the wheel? What will happen when the past collides with the present?

VIOLA I'm a wedding planner and I'm in love with love and couples who are in love. They are my bread and butter after all but that's not why I love them. I haven't got there yet myself but arranging weddings keeps my dream of finding Mr. Right alive. But life doesn't always see things the way we dream of them turning out. It sure didn't see it my way when he crossed my path. RICK I don't believe in love. If it really exists why are there so many broken relationships and people in the world? Not that I care… about the broken relationships I mean. After all, they are my bread and butter. People lay the foundation for the demise of their marriage before they're married with prenups. Anyone who thinks it starts with a wedding is wrong. It starts with a lawyer. And if it ends… well, it ends with a lawyer too. Funny that. Often the people I work for before their wedding, come back to me when they divorce. So, love is great and it is for me but just not the way you might think if you get what I mean. When I met the wedding planner she was incensed at the thought that we might collaborate. Normally I would just walk away but the universe seems to have other plans…

Six Packs Series #1: Kagan Lombardi Just a blink to her reality, she finds it hard to believe. Dalshanta Ferrucci, a notorious gang leader, develops a strong feeling for a playboy who belongs to one of the hotties of Six Packs. However, her arrogance and hysteric summons the most attractive saint, Kagan Lombardi. (c) Copyright 2021 by Gian Garcia

When Danica was still in college, she wanted to be a famous actress. She sacrificed a lot, including her studies when she finally had the chance to reach her dream. Among all the sacrifices, her biggest sacrifice was her love. When she was at the peak of success and popularity, unexpectedly, her name was involved in an issue that really gave roar in the entertainment industry that she did not expect to damage her popularity. Only sponsorship can save her name, but what will happen when the CEO of the company who can save her is her Ex boyfriend, whom she sacrificed along the way? Things are going to go rough because HE is up for a revenge. _ “You want my sponsorship to save your fame. How funny! How willing you are for this?” He asked with a smirk. "Very." "Prove it to me." "How?" "By signing a contract to be my mistress." The hatred in his tone gives a shiver down to her spine. She wants to back out but could she let her years of hard work get destroyed just like that? At the same time, what is he going to do about the strange addiction for the woman whom he hates from the core of his heart?

Stell is a member of the popular band "high-end." As a member of a famous band, he is accustomed to everything he wants, he gets. Everything he wants goes to him. Everyone praises and adores him. Everyone who likes him, walking to dangerous lane just to crossed and see him. While on the other hand, Sieme, a number one fan of high-end bands. Different from what Stell expected to Sieme, Sieme has no interest to him. For Sieme, Stell was nothing but a plain member of the band that Sieme's adore. And Stell was surprised because of Sieme's reaction towards to him. Unusual to not getting what he wanted, Stell found a way to get closer to Sieme, and that was through Aishia --- Sieme's best friend. On his way along to Semie's heart, will Stell can pass the lane? Or he will make a u-turn, to come back and find another way to another lane?