food jokes

32 year old Sophie decided it's time to stop hiding so she filled up an application to be a Sugar Baby. Weekends that used to be filled up with Netflix and comfort food are now changed into a high-paying profession. Well, weekend profession. She's still the busy working mom of 2 during the weekdays. 19 year old Abigail is the average college girl who has a cuckoo aunt. Her proposal has backfired when her aunt decided to use her info in the profile she's setting up at Cupcake, a Sugar Baby website. Let's hope nobody finds out Abigail signed up as a Sugar Baby. Let's pray harder for Aunt Sophie who has the confidence to pull off being an Abigail during the weekends. Cross your fingers! And your legs too, Soph. I mean, Abby. Err, Weekend-Abby. Cross your legs, Weekend-Abby!

Trigger Warning: abuse, violence, torture, sexual violence. Echo has known only pain for the last ten years. Being treated as a pack slave, she has cooked, cleaned, and worked harder than anyone she knows. Her reward for her efforts? Days without food and non-stop abuse from everyone in the pack. To make matters worse, one of her biggest tormentors is also completely obsessed with her. She has never known anyone in the pack to show her an ounce of kindness. When a visiting alpha from a neighboring pack turns out to be her fated mate, her life may hang in the balance. Will he be her saving grace, or will he reject her for her weakness? Will she ever escape the abuse? If so, can she escape the clutches of the powerful man who believes she belongs to him?

"Cali, drop the knife, you know it is never that hard that you have to kill yourself." "For the last time Blake. I'm not suicidal!!" I throw the knife away. "Then why were you holding that knife?" He asked, worried. I then showed him the apple in my other hand. ------------- Cali Evans, 17, a normal girl with a wacky attitude and sass. Life was going smooth for her until Blake happened. Blake Sanders, 18, the popular, hot, bad boy finds a new mission when he meets Cali. One misunderstanding, a sarcastic girl and a bad boy equals to food fights, bowling nights, dangerous knifes, terrace conversations, monopoly games and maybe some love.

For the whole 17 years of her existence, Alana did not know the word freedom and happiness having been confined in the basement of her family’s house accused of killing her own mother. She’s beaten, cursed at, and barely survived from crumbs of food thrown at her. She thought this is her final destiny and has accepted the bitter fate of her life not until the night of her 18th birthday, a mysterious alpha appeared at her door telling her that she is the long-lost daughter of the alpha king and claiming her as his mate he’s been looking for several years now.

Michael Flynn; He was my first in everything, my very first friend, the first person to ever believe in me, down to my very best person. He was the first person I ever kissed, he was the first to ever touch me on… oh scratch that, he wasn’t. Every second and minute we spent together was special, life was only better when I was with him until the night he found his wolf, the night he found out that I was his mate. I, his mate, the one girl who was considered an omega, while he, the Alpha’s son. We were on the polar sides of the food chain. His love for me went sour, even his memories became nothing but a nightmare. He still looked at me the same way, I could see the hope in his eyes but now it was different, I was different, and to worsen matters, I had already had a one-night stand with a beautiful stranger, Klaus. Unintentionally, I got caught up in a tight web, one I never envisioned getting into. What am I to do now that Michael, my mate, is back asking for a second chance? Should I get back with him and let go of his misdeeds or should I toss him to the curb… the exact same way he had done to me, most especially now that someone else had come knocking on my door, someone a lot more sinister… someone that even my father dreaded; he was none other but Klaus Knight II Read to find out!

"You’re worthless, Evelyn. Tell me, what real Alpha would stay with a barren woman in this world?!" With trembling hands, I wiped away the tears streaming down my face. My body was weak from days without food in the cold dungeon. Evelyn’s life has never made sense. Rejected by her first mate at eighteen, she becomes an Omega slave. Fate offers her a second chance with Alpha John Xavier, who marries her, but the marriage is no better. She is treated like a servant, and two years later, his first love, Diane, returns to reclaim her place in his heart. John lavishes Diane with the affection Evelyn longs for and ultimately rejects and divorces her. Thrown into a cold dungeon as punishment, she endures days without food and water, all because of Diane who was later revealed to be pregnant for John. Just when she thinks John might have a change of heart, he demands that she sacrifice her kidney for Diane. Evelyn discovered a secret that changed everything, she was carrying John’s child. Now, five years later, Evelyn and John meet again as business partners, working together to save his struggling pack. John, filled with regret, is desperate to win her back. But there’s another man who loves her and is willing to keep her by his side. Will Evelyn forgive John and give him a second chance or will she choose the man who has vowed to never let her go?

When nerdy but cute, Miranda Whitmore's parents decide to move to a place called Howling Cliffs, she is not happy. But there's nothing she despises more in this small town than Nigel Vanderwolf, the hot jock who happens to be the son of the man Miranda's family is staying with. The two bump heads continuously, with Nigel's crude sexual jokes and relentless mockery of her virgin status and Miranda's snappy rebuttals and ability to annoy him constantly. But one night after a dangerous game of Truth or Dare, Miranda becomes lost in the woods where she gets trapped in a cave because of a thunderstorm. Feeling guilty of his part in Miranda's disappearance, Nigel sets out to find her. He stumbles on the girl he finds the most annoying, sheltering in the Forbidden Cavern. The two ensue in a heated argument, disturbing the God that resides there. After Nigel takes Miranda home, the two decide to never speak to each other again, thus going their separate ways, only to wake the next morning to find themselves in each other's bodies. Now Miranda has the upper hand because she has finally learned Nigel's secret. Her neighbour and bully is a werewolf. What will Miranda do with this newfound information? Will she expose to the world that the supernatural is real? How will Nigel cope with this magical phenomenon? Will he be able to switch back in time for the great Alpha Trials? Follow Miranda and Nigel in this epic tale of enemies to lovers in the Werewolf Switch.

Mafia's were the top leading in wealth and everything They were feared by all and peasants never wished to cross their part because they were mean,brutal and influencial Peasant do not have options, they have to serve them so that can have a roof to leave under and food to eat . Meet Rosie A young girl of 20 years.Stubborn, talkative,troublesome ,name it all She was known for her beauty she is unique and endowed in the right places ,,she was more like a goddess Rosie is an orphan,her mother served as a maid to a mafia till she died ,that was the kind of life Rosie was brought into ,,she continued from where her mother stopped until one faithful day the family had to move and couldnt take rosie with them so they had to sell her . But the question is to who Meet Edwardo cheng A young man of 26,a very handsome young man ,,His has all that a lady desires but his evil,heartless ,self centered name them all ,he took over from his father and became the head of mafia's ,no one dared him,no one looks at him,no one speaks while he speaks ,his name alone make people flinch,he cares about no one but himself . Nobody severs him and come back alive ,most news been heard was that they commited suicide or wanted to run away and died in the process And now he needed a new servant who will be the unlucky fellow Grab your popcorn and get ready . All right reserved ️

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

His fate was decided by a lottery. It was already not easy for him to eat delicious food, what more if someone told him that he was destined to save a lot of people?"Me? A hero? Nah, no way. Thank you very much. I don't want to clean up anyone's mess and save lives like a chore." For him, heros sacrifice a lot of things and die for the greater good. It is a waste, so it would be better for him to be a bandit. Sadly, that was easier said than done...