fart jokes for kids

It was supposed to be just a one-time encounter — just letting out the steam that had been fuming between us. He was not made for relationships, while I just got out of one and was not ready for another. But that one-night stand with the playboy Gamma of the Black Shadow Pack turned into two nights, and then three, until I could no longer count the number of times he knocked at my door whenever he wanted to get laid. And I just let him in. Every damn time. But then, the nights of passion turned into two stripes on the pregnancy stick. And he wanted nothing to do with it. I should have expected that. He was, after all, Austin Montrell. So I kicked him out of my apartment, out of my life, and out of my way. I vowed to forget him — raise my child on my own, and never look back. I was doing so well until the day I found my son missing and his scent lingering in the place where I left him. If the Gamma thought he could just abandon me and our child and then take us back because he changed his mind, well, he was in for the ride of his life because this time, I was not letting him back in. ***** THE ALPHA BLOOD CIRCLE: Book 1: She's The Luna I Want Book 2: The Beta and I Book 3: Let The Gamma Fall For Me Although this book can be read as a standalone, I highly recommend reading Book 1 and 2 to understand the characters and the world I created. ***** Follow me on my I G and F B for updates and teasers - author.cassa.m 

Everyone has their own believes in life, and for Jamara Nicole Domingo, she believes that she deserve a better man, a man who's handsome, smart, sweet, and loyal. At the age of 19, she already have a high standard when it comes to boys that's why up until now, she still NBSB. There's one guy that she hates because of how he talks and acts in front of her. The total opposite of her ideal man, physically. Until the time comes when the two of them talk to each other without annoying and teasing each other. Jamara suddenly decided to not hate him anymore instead make him smile and show it to others. The annoyance they feel towards each changed into closeness that no one expected. Will they be able to change the closeness into something more despite the judgement of the people around them? Or just let it be where it is.

Ivy Reed, a twenty year old with a haunting past. Ace Romano, the soon-to-be Italian mafia boss and also Ivy's brother's best friend who instantly takes a liking in Ivy when he first sees her. What happens when Ivy finds herself falling for him? And he, for her? Read to find out

Chastity is an Omega in her pack, and made into the slave to the pack house at age 12. For years she suffered abuse in silence at the hands of her step-mother, and several other females she slaved for. Despite the life she lived she dreamed of two things. The first to be allowed to go to college to become a nurse, and midwife. The second was to find her mate. Unfortunately she discovers her mate is the future Alpha of her pack Rowen, and he rejects her, but instantly regrets it.. His rejection was followed by a beating that almost cost her her very life. It was her oldest brother, and the only one to ever really show her love. Now Chastity has a chance to live her dream while Rowen has to fight to gain her trust. and get her to accept him as her mate. It's going to be hard, but he's willing to do everything he can to have her. Even though she will be living away from the pack for the next 3 years to finish the education she worked so hard for. TRIGGER WARNING: CONTAINS PHYSICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE!

With exactly three days until our house is seized and everything we have is taken away. My father sits in his chair slumped over and defeated "Rose" he calls to me and I go to him. On bended knees, I answer him, "yes father my voice echos as it bounces off our now bare walls". Dear, I'm afraid I've failed you and we have lost everything, sighing he peers at me and continues. A man stopped by this morning offering to help me figure it out but I'm afraid the cost was too high. What was the cost father please tell me. Looking at him with pleading eyes, he sighs as he began to explain. He offered to pay off my debt and restore my business if I was to give up that most precious to me. My eyes widen and my throat goes dry just as my eyes fill with tears. Someone wants me I whisper and see his eyes dim just a little. Yes, my dear, and I can’t do it. Grabbing his hand, I lean in close so he can hear me. I’ll do it, "his eyes grow wide as he begins to shake his head no fast”. I smile and continue for you I will do it. He wants to be wed this evening my dear and we know nothing about him. “If he can stick to his end of the bargain the rest does not matter I will serve him if it means you won't have to worry”. My tears tickle my face the ones I didn't even know escaped. Standing to my feet I look at him and sigh, if there is to be a wedding today we should get ready with that I take my leave locking myself in my room.

Matapos malaman ni Pan ang panloloko na ginawa ng boyfriend niya sa kaniya na si Logan, sinimulan niyang akitin ang step-brother nito na si Juancho para sa personal na dahilan. Si Juancho ang dati niyang kapares sa kama na kapag siyay dinatnan ng init ng katawan ay napapawi ng binata. 8 years ago, isa siyang pariwarang dalaga na nagri-rebelde at tambay sa bar. Doon niya nakilala si Juancho Bec, ang lalaking pumuno ng pantasya niya noong bata pa siya. Pero sa kaniyang pagdalaga, nakilala niya si Logan at nainlove siya dito. Nagbagong buhay na siya at handa na siyang magsettle-down. Pero sa kasamaang palad, nahuli niya itong nambababae sa isang bar. Luhaan siyang umalis at nagtagpo muli ang landas nila ni Juancho. “Come here and open your mouth,” paos na utos ni Juancho at parang alipin na sinunod ni Pan ang utos niya. Sa kaniyang ginawa, babalik ba si Logan sa kaniya? O may bagong pag-ibig na mabubuo?

Yvonne always believed in happily-ever-afters, until her ex spectacularly dumped her at his workplace on what was supposed to be a special day, leaving her heartbroken and humiliated. Then, a mysterious man swoops in to save the day. Little does she know, this charming rescuer is the father of the adorable twins she teaches. The twins, intent on finding a mommy, see their father as a bonus. As fate would have it, this dashing single dad has an unconventional proposal on behalf of his children. They want Yvonne to be their mommy, and he comes as an irresistible bonus. With twin-sized mischief and unexpected romance, Yvonne's life takes a hilariously unpredictable turn. Will she find her own fairy tale ending in the arms of the man she never saw coming?

⚠️DARK ROMANCE ⚠️18+⚠️ Like paper thrown in fire, Lexie Dillon's old life quickly burnt, leaving behind nothing but memorable ash. After refusing a marriage proposal, she was kidnapped and brutally thrown in the hands of Zheme Algae, a naive CEO who took interest in her after seeing her just once... From there on, her life started down a new path, one she never dreamt of taking and one she never thought she'd gain happiness from. Zheme Algae's life had always been the same. He hid under his fathers rules and restrictions and aspired to follow his father's twisted path. So when his father outlined these steps, he had no other choice but to take them. Step 1 •Seek and find her. Step 2 •Beat her until she submits. Step 3 •Chain her in that house and forcibly make her your fiancé... Step 4 •Buy two rings, invite a whole lot of guest, take her to a church and get a damn priest... Step 5 •If she so much as whispers no, kill her when the crowd's no more, but make sure to warn her before.

"We are not related by blood, there is nothing wrong in what we are doing." He assured her. "What if Dad and Mom find out?" She asked. "That's why we have to keep it a secret," he said, caressing her cheeks as their lips locked. Camilla falls in love with her stepbrother, Andrew who is one year older than her. He is twenty-one years old while she is twenty. Everything about him drives her crazy. Things seem to be perfect as their little secret is kept hidden not until Derek, Andrew's best friend, gets their shady acts on tape and threatens her with it. Is it advisable to screw two best friends? Will Andrew believe she was only doing him a favor?

Hindi inaasahan ni Reiko Cordova na mapapasubo siya sa isang trabaho na hindi niya inaplayan. Ngunit dahil sa kagagawan ng nakakatanda na kapatid at walang iba na pagpipilian, kinailangan niya na pumalit dito bilang isang "kabit" ng guwapo at masungit na piloto na si Kenji Jarvis. Hindi inaasahan ni Kenji Jarvis na mapapasubo siya sa pag-aalok ng isang trabaho sa isang babae upang masiguro na hindi siya iiwan ng kan'yang asawa na nahuhumaling sa matalik na kaibigan nito. Umupa si Kenji ng babae na magpapanggap bilang kan'yang kabit para pagselosin ang asawa na nagloloko. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan ay tinakbuhan siya ng naturang babae dala-dala ang pera na naibayad na niya. Kaya wala silang nagawa ng kan'yang kaibigan kung hindi ang takutin at ipaako ang trabaho sa naiwan na kapatid ng babae upang siya ang pumalit at magpanggap na kabit niya. Ang pagpapanggap ay mauuwi sa katotohanan nang isang gabi ay makalimot si Kenji sa kontrata. Ang babae na itinuturing lamang niya na isang pamalit sa kasunduan ay magkakaroon nang mas malalim na ugnayan at halaga sa kan'ya. Papayag ba si Reiko na habang-buhay na lamang siya na maging "replacement mistress" sa buhay ni Kenji, lalo na at alam niya kung gaano kamahal ng lalaki ang asawa nito? O gagawin niya ang tama at kusa na lamang na lalayo sa lalaki na natutunan na niya na mahalin?