dirty tagalog jokes

Being the breadwinner in the family is a big responsibility. Izabela Oceania Calvez applies to work as a cashier at a club since she needs a job badly. She heard a lot of harsh words, but she chose to ignore them. One morning, when she was browsing the internet, she came across an advertisement for a candidate to work as the new CEO's secretary for a renowned textile company. She made an effort to apply. But when she happened to see the CEO of the company having sex inside his office, she immediately backed out of her interview.But she was taken aback when she got a call from the company informing her that her application had been approved. If they didn't interview her, how was she accepted? And worst of all, will she agree to the CEO’s proposal to be her part-time lover for ten million pesos? Will she accept it for the sake of her family?

Diego Salvaje is a hitman and his target is the sole heir of Morales clan that has extensive connections when it comes to large businesses either inside or outside the country. Dahil sa palpak na assassination, nag-isip nang panibagong paraan si Diego para mailigpit si Drian Morales. Ngunit paano kung ang taong target mo ay ang siyang taong magpapanginig sa kalamnan at mga tuhod mo? Handa niya pa kayang ituloy ang misyon? O hahayaan ang puso na magpalunod sa nakababaliw na pag-ibig?

After being left alone, Agent Hana Alijo became ruthless, aloof and unfriendly, she doesn't want to be attached... not until a charismatic and handsome multi-billionaire Clay Smith came and turned her life upside down. *** Hana Alijo A.K.A Lilium is a secret agent from Equilibrium Organization. She is known in her organization as hot and deadly. She's strong and persistent not until she became a personal bodyguard of Clay Smith. The man dared and made her knees weak, made her body numb with no exception. Lilium became coward and helpless when he's around. He tortured her mind and as well as her heart. What she thought was a simple duty turned out to be a complex and dangerous one. How can she fight it when her heart is at stake? The Hana who doesn't want to be with anyone seems to have become vague. She's doomed! Disclaimer: This story is written in combination of Tagalog and English Cover designed by Sheryl S.|SBS

It doesn't mean that you are rich, everyone immediately accepts you for the person you love. Sometimes they're the one who's judging you,and they are the one who's choosing for your loved one the person he should love. Love is not about positions of your life.. wealthy or not. It really depends on the person if they want you for the rest of your life. Love is not about money, because if you love that person, you'll choose him rather than the money. Love is love. No one can stop it.

It was something that Lissa had wanted ever she laid eyes on their newly appointed supervisor over the small but continuously growing company that she works for. He's gorgeous as hell. And everybody wants him. Sometimes, Lissa even thinks about whenever she 'plays' with herself. But of course, everything that she fantasies will remain as a fantasy. That supervisor of hers is bisexual and prefers to do the deed with men. But that's until she hears a little something from a little birdie in the cubicle next to her. Rumors really spreads fast like a wildfire. Now she uses deception and lies to get what she wants, and that's him. Blackmailing her boss with his secret, Lissa twist words until she gets what she wants. To get inside his pants. After her adventure, she did not realize that she and Anthony will become friend or that she'll end up liking him. As a woman with no filters and the only romantic relationship she'd ever had with is a vibrator... things change as their friendship progresses. What she doesn't realize is that she begins to fall in love with her boss. Now, not only does she likes him for what he can do in bed, but she's beginning to like him as a whole. But then somethings happened. A new man and woman will enter their office and will be challenging the good thing that they have, Will Lissa succeed and have Mr. Lee to beg on his knees for her? Or will another woman win this conquest and leave her in tears instead.

“K-Kasal ako! H-Hindi ako pwedeng ibenta ng tatay ko! H-Hindi mo gugustohing malaman ang pangalan ng asawa ko dahil malalagot ka!” Pagbabanta pa ni Solene kahit na nauutal na ito. ~ Si Solene Jimenez ay isang twenty-year old College student. Pumapasok ng iba't-ibang part time jobs para tustusan ang pangangailangan ng kanyang pamilya habang nag-aaral sa isang sikat na unibersidad. Ipinakasal siya sa isang bilyonaryo upang tuparin ang hiling ng Mama niya at ng matanda niyang kaibigang mayaman na pakasalan ang apo nito. Ngunit kahit isang beses ay hindi niya pa man din nakikita. Ano kaya ang mangyayari sa buhay niya kapag nagkita sila sa unang pagkakataon? Will the billionaire keep their marriage o hihiwalayan siya nito nang tuluyan?

Isang maunawain, masipag, malambing at mabait na asawa si Janine, kaya naman nakatagpo rin siya nang isang responsableng lalaki si Rigor. Masaya ang buhay mag-asawa nila, kahit na tila hindi tanggap ng kanyang ina si Rigor, ganun rin naman ang mama ni Rigor sa kanya. Ngunit hindi iyon naging hadlang sa pagbuo nila ng masayang pamilya. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan ay makakagawa ng matinding kasalanan si Rigor iyon ay ang nagawa niyang pagtaksilan ang kanyang asawa. Magawa kayang patawarin ni Janine si Rigor para sa buo at masayang pamilya nila o tuluyan niyang kalimutan ito at baguhin ang sarili. Paano sa pagbabago niya ay muling may dumating na bagong lalaki sa buhay niya. Sino ang pipiliin niya ang lalaking minahal niya noon at winasak ang puso niya o ang lalaking muling nagparamdam ng pagmamahal sa kanya?. "Gusto ko nang makakausap, pero wala akong makausap." "Gusto kong umiyak, pero wala akong maiyakan." "Gusto kong umalis, pero wala akong mapupuntahan." "I need a comfort but nobody's care. I want to run to leave the problem. But the world was so cruel. My grief seems endless." -Janine Mhae Santos-

HIRE A WIFE BUT DON'T FALL IN LOVE! Ang isang tambay na kagaya ni Kassidy ay walang matino na pinag-aralan. Nakatira sila sa isang skwater kasama ang nanay niya na sugarol. Kadalasan ay nasa kalsada siya at nakikilaro sa mga ka-tambay niya na naging kaibigan niya na rin. Unlike the other girls, she dressed like a man. Malaki ang shirt, malaki ang short at may sombrero palagi. Mahilig siya kumain ng lollipop at masayahin siyang Babae kahit sa kabila ng pamumuhay nila. Parati siyang ipinapahamak ng ina niya sa iba't-ibang trabaho na ikinakainis niya, subalit gano'n man ang ina niya ay mahal niya ito at parating pinagbibigyan. Takot na baka magkautang na naman sila. Ngunit, papaano kaya kung ipasok siya ng nanay niya sa isang corporation na hindi niya alam? At isang araw ay may isang lalake na gusto siyang e-hire bilang asawa nito at wala siyang kaalam-alam sa klase ng trabaho na tatahakin niya? Mapapahiyaw nalang siguro siya sa inis lalo na kung malalaman niyang guwapo at appealing ang makakasama niya at magiging asawa pa niya talaga for 3 months! Kaya kaya nitong tunawin ang boyish niyang puso, at mapa-ibig sa ka-guwapohang charms nito?

She's perfect. Kind, beautiful, and hardworking. Scholar din siya sa isang prehistisyosong unibersidad na kilala bilang paaralan ng mga mayayaman. Marami ang nagkakahumaling sa kaniya, pero dahil sa mahirap siya, ay nalalait siya. Because a girl like her shouldn't be studying in a school na hindi ka level ng kaniyang estado sa buhay. Ilang beses at halos araw-araw na siyang binubully, pero dahil sa pangarap na gusto niyang maabot, nagtiis siya. But never did she knows na hindi lang iyon ang pagdadaanan niya. Isang araw, dumating ang SSC council president at nakita ang SSC secretary na pasimuno sa pambubully kay Hailey. Pinaglaban nito si Hailey at sinibak sa pwesto ang mapangahas na bully. Hindi lang 'yun, pinag drop out din sa school due to violence. Lubos ang galit ng mga bully kay Hailey. Dahil kay Hailey napasibak sila at napahiya. Kaya naman, sinet up nila si Hailey at ibenenta sa isang grupo sa bar. She was raped. Hindi niya alam kung sino. Hanggang sa isang hindi inaasahan na pangyayari, nasangkot siya sa isang situwasyon kung saan muntikan na niyang ikamatay. And someone happened to save her. She owed her life to him. But this man wants her as the collateral. Gusto siya nitong maging role play girlfriend nito para lang mapatigil ang ina nito sa kaka appoint ng mga babae. Pero papaano kung malaman niya na ang lalaking ito ay ang rapist niya pala no'ng gabing binenta siya at ng mismong ama ng kaniyang dinadala? Magagawa pa ba niyang mapatawad ito?

Si Xerxes Santillan III o mas kilala bilang Tres ay isang magaling na CEO sa mismong family business nila. Kilala ang kanilang kompaniya sa bansa at halos lahat sa kaniya ay perpekto. Mabait, guwapo at supportive. Maliban do'n, maganda ang kaniyang buhay, at may maganda ring singer na girlfriend. Ngunit sa kabila ng perpekto niyang buhay ay hindi pa rin niya mapapayag ang babaeng minamahal sa isang kasal. Parati na lang siyang naghihintay at sumusuporta sa mga pangarap nito. "Babe, please give me one more chance. I'll make sure na after nitong crusade performance ko sa Italy, ay magpapakasal na tayo." sabi nito sa kaniya sa ika-apat na proposal niya kay Lian. Tinakbuhan lang naman siya nito at walang sabi na umalis patungong airport. "Pero ang sabi mo, after ng concert mo sa Paris ay sasagutin mo na ako." giit niya, pero hindi niya pinaalam na galit siya at dismayado. "I'm sorry, babe. Babawi ako sa'yo after, okay?" Kung kailan nakahanda na ang lahat ay saka naman ito aalis bigla. Mahal niya ito, kaya kahit anong pilit niya, kung mahal din nito ang pangarap nito, ay wala siyang ibang magagawa kundi ang mahalin rin ang pangarap nito. Sa kaparehong araw, namamalayan na lang ni Travis na kasal na siya at nagising sa isang kama na may kayakapan na ibang babae at walang saplot. Ano kaya ang magiging love story ni Travis, gayo'ng nagtaksil na siya sa kaniyang nobya?