Bisaya Funny Quotes

Zey, gadis pengangguran yang dijebak oleh Hazel, seorang pengusaha kaya hingga tragedi pernikahan yang tak diharapkan pun terjadi. Zey tidak mampu menolak karena kadung menanda tangani surat kontrak kerja yang mana di dalamnya tertulis bahwa ia harus menikah dengan sang majikan, jika Zey tak bersedia maka harus menerima denda sebesar 1 Miliar. Zey bahkan tak yakin dengan menjual diri bisa mendapatkan digit angka segitu. Benar-benar apes sekaligus beruntung. Masalah utamanya ialah, Hazel tak pernah percaya dengan Tuhan. 28 tahun ia hidup di dunia tak pernah sekali pun membuka kitab suci Al Qur'an. Dia merasa tertarik pada Zey sebab hanya gadis itu yang berani mengajukan tantangan berat untuknya. Terjebak dalam pernikahan sepihak. Zey pun mengajukan tantangan berupa khatam Al-Qur'an dan hafalan Ar-Rahman serta salat lima waktu tanpa bolong. Jika gagal, maka Zey berhak mengajukan perceraian. Apakah Hazel berhasil melakukan tantangan Zey? Apakah ada niat terselubung di balik tantangan Zey dan pernikahan paksa Hazel?

"Ang tanga-tanga mo naman, Hailey! Bakit ka nagpabuntis? Sa ating dalawa ikaw pa nga itong mahinhin. Di makabasag pinggan. Ikaw ‘yong dalagang Filipina, yeah!" hindi napigilan ang galit na sita niya sa kakambal. Problema. Iyon kaagad ang sumagi sa isip ni Callie nang malamang buntis ang ni kakambal niyang si Hailey. Bukod sa hindi nito masabi kung sino ang tatay ay mahina ang puso nito, kaligtasan kaagad nito ang naisip niya. Gustuhin man niya itong sabunutan dahil sa taglay na kagagahan ay hindi na lang niya ginawa. Sa mapaglarong tadhana, sa kakahanap niya sa Tatay ng anak nito ay natuklasan niyang ang multi millionaire na si Carter Hyun ang nakadisgrasiya dito. Natagpuan na lang niya ang sarili na siya na ang Mommy ng baby nito. Magkakasama sila sa iisang bubong, mapigilan niya kaya kung may pag-ibig na umusbong?

Hindi type ni Bernard ang mga babaeng masyadong bata sa kanya. Dahil ang pakiramdam niya ay magiging baby sitter lang siya ng mga ito kapag inaatake ng tantrums. Ngunit may isang babaeng gumulo sa kanya, si Marie, secretary ng dati niyang nililigawan na naging asawa ng kaibigan niya. Naiinis siya dito dahil mapang asar ito, hanggang isang gabi, bigla na lang niyang narealize na pwede pala niya itong magustuhan. At kabaliktaran ng pagkakakilala niya sa babaeng mas bata ang ugali nito, matured at maunawain ang dalaga. Kahit siya ang may kasalanan ay nagsosorry ito. Bigpang dumating ang kangyang first love, si Eleanor o mas kulala sa tawag na Ellue, akala niya, masisira ang telasyon nila dahil dito, ngunit si Marie ay siya lang ang pinapaniwalaan. Kaya naging maayos pa rin ang takbo ng relasyon nila, until makilala niya si Domeng, kahit noon lang niya nakilala ang kaibigan nito, sinakmal siya ng matinding selos, lalo pa at may mga ipinakitang pruweba sa kanya si Ellie na niloloko siya ni Marie. Lalo siyang nagalit sa babae. Ng matauhan siya sa mga nangyari, at nalaman niya ang totoo, parang huli na ang lahat. Kulang na lang isumpa siya ni Marie sa sobrang galit. Ayaw na siyang balikan ng babae. May pag asa pa kaya na mahalin siya ulit ng dalaga? Paano niya mapapatunayan ang pagmamahal dito kung pati mga kaibigan niya ayaw ng makialam sa kanila?

On break from college, and desperate to escape the mundane of her current life, Mira Marshall ignores the superstitious and paranoid nature of her family to leave the house and see the world for a few weeks. Mira wants to see a change in scenery, and roam in wide open spaces that shame the small house and city life she's been confined to. She wants to leave it all behind for a few weeks, but not everything wants to remain behind. Strange incidents and an ever growing list of questions inspire Mira to detour and venture to the area where her parents were slaughtered on a camping trip. Emboldened by a desire for answers and justice, Mira digs deeper into her family's history and into the area. She soon crosses paths with a vengeful being who's hatred of her family well surpasses a century. She doesn't know him, but he knows her.

'If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard' ~ Madame Chatterz Benley Macallister is on a downward spiral. Luck has never been on his side. Things go from bad to worse when the nineteen-year-old loses his job, his best friend, and the love of his life all in the same year. Feeling unfilled, Macallister turns to drink as a way to cope. Nonetheless, as luck would have it, another curveball is thrown his way, three years later, when a raven-haired girl accidentally enters his life, purposely refusing to leave it. MacAllister quickly finds his hands tied with the new addition. He's left with two options -- to either fight the oncoming blizzard of change or to embrace it fully.

Kiana Smith, the daughter of a carpenter got betrothed to A Mafia Lord at the age of eighteen because her father failed to pay back the huge sum of money he borrowed. Now at 20 years old, The Mafia Lord is back to get a replacement for his money. ********** Extract from the story ********** "No!!! You can't just give me off to him like that!" I wailed, struggling against the hold of the huge men that were keeping me in place. "I'm sorry, Kiana. But this is beyond my control. You have been promised to him ever since you turned 18." My father said, his head bowed in despair. "Nooooooo." I screamed as the huge men dragged me out of the house.

"Berikan aku uang! Maka aku, akan menyayangimu," bisik Joya di telinga Agha. Joya Tania, gadis SMA penggila uang. Ia menawarkan sebuah kontrak pernikahan pada Agha Hengkara, laki-laki asing, anak orang kaya yang ingin membalas dendam pada Kakaknya sendiri. Agha, yang dikenal penurut oleh keluarganya. Selama ini, hidup di bawah bayang-bayang Kakaknya yang memanfaatkan hidup Agha sendiri. Menyadari semua itu, Agha sedikit demi sedikit menyingkap topengnya, hanya untuk mengambil kekuasaan dan juga harta yang akan diwariskan oleh Keluarganya. Bagaimana takdir mempermainkan kehidupan yang mereka jalani? Bagaimana kehidupan menyiasati kehidupan mereka? Mampukah mereka berdua mencapai tujuan masing-masing? Mampukah, pernikahan yang didasari oleh uang akan membuat kebahagiaan untuk mereka berdua? Ini kisah manis bercampur pertentangan batin, dan juga intrik yang menyelimuti dua anak manusia, mencapai tujuan mereka.

We all have secrets revealed to us throughout our lives. Secrets that many have kept hidden from us. How bad can the secrets be when you have grown up knowing you were adopted? For one girl, it is nothing short of a movie when her past that she never knew existed comes back to haunt her. She never felt like she fitted in, and when her partner goes missing she goes on a mission to find him but stumbles across a world she has only seen in movies. With the fact she is faced to accept werewolves, witches and everything else that goes bump in the night exists, she is left even more shaken to find out she is a witch, the last of the strongest bloodline that were all murdered. Will her love for the werewolf be fate, or is it all produced by magic to stop the war that has raged between the three worlds for centuries.

Gideon of The Helkine, Leader of the Seven Sins, feeds his desires as he pleases. He has no care in the world and a never ending lust. Without a doubt, he is unquestioned in power. But when he crosses paths with the dangerous nephilim woman, suddenly his capabilities are questioned all around. The only way for him to gain his honor back, is to conquer this unruly female. She has other plans. All she wants if her freedom, and will go to any lengths to get it, even if it means surrendering her body to this unknown warrior.

Fat, chubby and bullied illegitimate daughter, Cinderella is betrayed by her fiance and stepsister. Escaping from a life threatening situation after her nudes is forcefully taken, Cinderella encounters an extremely gorgeous and arrogant black Angel who is as mysterious as he could be. Who is this Mysterious black Angel? What happens when Cinderella falls pregnant and at the same time gets dragged into a deadly war between an Angel and his shadow? Find out.