actually funny jokes for adults

Mia—codename Zero—is the deadliest assassin alive. She never asks questions. Never fails a job. Until a brutal accident steals her memory. Waking up in a powerful Alpha’s care, she has no idea who she is or why she was carrying his photograph. Alex Moore, CEO of Raften Pharmaceuticals and leader of the Darkhaven Pack, knows better than to trust a mysterious woman with a past she can’t remember. But something about her calls to him in ways he can’t explain. As passion ignites and their worlds intertwine, the truth looms in the shadows. Because Mia wasn’t just an assassin. She was sent to kill him. And when she remembers, there will be only one question left—will she finish the job, or has fate already sealed her loyalty… and her heart?

A rich kid offers to pay anyone who'll be his companion to a ball ten thousand dollars. My roommate stops me from responding. "He's just a rich guy fishing for fun—he's using money to play around with women! Are you going to offer yourself to him for money? We can't be gold diggers!" My mother is sick, though. She needs my scholarship money to save her life. To my devastation, my roommate latches onto a school board member and takes away my scholarship. She even mocks me. "With your looks, you could've sold yourself for money. Here's a hundred bucks to compensate you." That's not all—an AI face-swapped picture of me are posted online. Countless people harass me because of them. My mother doesn't want to drag me down, so she takes her life. I break down and choose to jump off a building. When I open my eyes again, I'm taken back to the first day of the semester. The rich kid is looking for a female companion. I immediately say, "I'm the companion you've been looking for, sir!"

Fay is a psychologist and her patient is the most ruthless mafia king. He's in jail. And he's the father of Fay's ex ?! One day, he caged Fay against bars and unbuttoned her shirt Fay tried to push him away but she was wet. Him："You know, doc. I wanted to do this the first day we met."

Lil Ward was given a task by an old man named Cain. His mission was to eradicate a hundred wicked people in the world. He realized that killing people was an unjust thing itself, but though he didn't want to kill, he could not control his power that was forcing him to commit the heinous crime. Lil became busy helping people, but he was also killing those bad people. One day, he met a girl named Kaila Breaks, with whom he didn't expect to fall in love. Lil hid everything about his power from Kaila, because he knew that she would leave him if she knew that he was a murderer. In contrast to Lil's expectations, Kaila also had a power from the wicked woman named Alicia. Kaila was also using her power to kill those bad people, because of the task that was given to her by Alicia. One day, the path of Lil and Kaila would meet. The hundredth people that they needed to kill was themselves in order to get rid from the curses of Cain and Alicia. The tale will tell you how Lil and Kaila were destined to fight against each other. Will they change their fate? Who will sacrifice oneself to make the other survive? Will they just let destiny decide everything? Which one is more important to them, love or freedom?

Ayah Adler is a nineteen-year-old girl who had a traumatizing childhood growing up which forced her to leave her country and parents to move to Japan where she struggles to make ends meet. Working three jobs at a time was hectic in itself as she became entangled with a ruthless Billionaire who cared nothing about the hurt he caused others. But time plays Its part as she becomes reluctant to accept his demonic sides but will she ever feel what he feels? Elio Ford is a twenty-four-year-old young billionaire who owns one of the most influential security companies in the world and is known to have the nickname ’The Ruthless’. His traumatized heart makes him close his mind to anything that gives him pleasure but when he lands on an encounter with a girl so fierce, he loses his mind to grand indulgence. And when he offers her the contract, her refusal makes him more persistent in making her his. Will Ayah give in to her own desires when he makes her his or will the past haunt them both? Or what will happen when their path connects?

"My hate for wolf!" A tale about Sophia, a young girl studying at the University, living a merry filled life untill she lost her father. Her father who has being a hunter since she was little got killed by wolf on a hunt night. Sophia, being a confident girl figured out the cause death of her father's death and sworn to find and bring the wolf for a painful torture. But something outrageous happened as wolfs were outnumbered by hunters who pursued them from their pack in a bid to have them killed. The wolf's disguised and lived Among humans. Will Sophia be able to achieve her quest for revenge?

"You brought us into this mess, and the only way to fix it is to marry me!" The handsome stranger yelled at me. I felt a wave of panic wash over me. Married? To a stranger? 'A contract marriage, Sia. Two years, and in exchange, I'll give you with a percentage of my wealth. You'll be taken care of, and I'll clear up this scandal around my name." I shut my eyes. "Yes, I'll marry you, Nicholas Winthrop" I said with a half whisper. I had no choice, anyways. ********************. Waking up in the bed of Nicholas Winthrop, the CEO of Prescott Towers, was all it took for Sia Stanton's life to change. Right after breaking up with her cheating boyfriend, Sia runs into a problem that is way bigger than she can handle. Now, she's forced to make a new deal. A contract marriage with a twist: be his trophy wife and get a hefty sum of the billionaire's wealth. What will happen when Sia's past and present collide, and will she be able to confront her demons once and for all? What happens when she discovers that she has been bound to this handsome stranger, for life? Find out in this story! Please, drop a review

“Some—body will see us he---re,” I whispered through gasps, afraid any teacher will catch us making out in the school’s hallway. “They cannot put the Alpha King in detention,” he smirked, burrowing his face again in my neck and gently sucking my lips until I bit my tongue to not moan loudly. “One day, I will mark you mine Serena!” the moment he said my sister’s name while pressing his lips against mine, I felt betrayed. .. Serena Majestic is the next in line to be the Alpha of her pack. Born to lead and has lived a perfect life with everything she could have ever wanted. Loved by her family ✅ A perfect mate ✅ Respected by her pack ✅ Pretty looks ✅ Dream wedding ✅ She was loved by everyone, except for her twin sister, Arlene Majestic, who she always regarded as the villain of her life. What happens when she suddenly wakes up in her twin sister’s body as the villain she once hated on the day of her wedding? Helpless, she is forced to watch her sister get married to her mate. Arlene challenges Serena to mend Arlene’s life. It was the only way for Serena to get her body back. Fighting every day to make her sister’s life better to get her life and body back was her only goal. But what happens when she falls in love with her sister’s mate in the process? What will Serena do when she discovers the shocking truth about her sister’s life? Will she succeed in getting her life back or forever struggle in her sister’s body? Read now to find out.

Katalea and her new mate set out to find the missing hidden prophecies. They soon discover four other supernatural strangers tasked with the same quest. All seek the prophecies for their own reasons, but they must come together as a team in order to succeed. From five absolutely different walks of life, these six must learn to trust each other. Will they reveal secrets about their past in order to protect their future? Will they be able to keep the prophecies from falling into the hands of the one who would like to see them all fail, and become extinct? This story has it all, wealth and romance, travel and extravagance, and deep and dirty little secrets that could destroy them all.

John Garnett's secretary fed me to the dogs on my own birthday. I called his number endlessly to call for help, only for him to block my number immediately, as he fooled around with his secretary at the presidential suite in broad daylight. All I felt was agony as I was ripped into countless little pieces, still holding on to the black rose seeds he had given me when we were younger. That was not thrilling enough for the secretary, however, she buried me in the backyard of John' villa, intent on making my perished soul watch their bedroom activities. It was not until rain poured a month later, and a cluster of black roses suddenly grew in the backyard. "Where's Claire? I was just scaring her with the dogs—did she run away just to spite me?"