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บททั้งหมดของ She Was The Queen: บทที่ 51 - บทที่ 60

114

Chapter Fifty-One

At least here in the room, his temper fizzled out. He was so worked up about Linda and Greg that I wondered if they had a history. He assured me it was familial at most even though they weren't related. I believed him. Nothing outside of his passion raised alarm. Eventually, I'd have to accept that he cared for a lot of people, a lot of women who were not only me. He was a leader after all. But I would never make space for his side pieces.We'd come up here for a nap but then we started talking again. He told me everything about his inner workings. Slowly but surely he was becoming an open book.We were dosing off in each other's arms when something downstairs banged against the cupboard.His eyes shoot wide open. I gripped his arm and pinned him firmly to the bed and asked him to let me handle it. He tried to test me but I assured him he needed the rest more than I did. He made a guttural sound and rolled his eyes. Reluctant, he stayed in bed.In the hallway, banging fists on the cupb
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Chapter Fifty-Two

As I tried my best not to hurt him a putrid scent invaded my nose. I reeled back and Eddie ran away. Kyle ran past me, in pursuit of his brother. I tried to pick up the same velocity, ignoring the stench.The smell began covering Eddie and Kyle's scent and I thought I had lost them. But behind a thicket of trees, I found them at a halt in the midst of nowhere.I stopped as the scent became vivid at this specific spot. Their eyes were set on something. To my horror, I witnessed it once more. Greying flesh and flies feasting on it, dried bones and broken beams of roofs. The unfruitful ground and broken homes. I took in the village and blinked to try and steady myself. Kyle and Eddie stood frozen while I retracted, falling back.My legs felt weak and unable to move, I howled as the flood came to drown me again. Hollow grief, affliction, guilt and angst all at once. My body refused to function as I howled, replaying everything in my head. I shut my eyes and the replay became explicit.The
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Chapter Fifty-Three - Grace

TW: mentions of abortion and suicidal ideation.What if I finally die?That’s what I thought every day. Then I would stop being a burden to everyone and all the voices of the dead would finally shut up. I'd stop being a burden to myself. I would be better off with the Traga ancestors and, though they already plagued me day and night they would be the only voices. They won't be in my head anymore. I'd be a part of them. I'd ask Traga himself why he hated me so much. Why did he let me come into this world of rejection and shame? Incapable of love and passion.Nobody wanted to give me true love, not even my mother.This was when it all came rushing like a flood, overwhelming me and releasing formidable convulsive gasps.On the floor of my room, I coughed out angry sobs as I choked on every cough. Pain raced throughout my body, making me spaz around on the floor, fighting nothing but the air as I curled backwards. The daggers went into my back and heart.My stomach cringed as a migraine j
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Chapter Fifty-Four

I was not afraid of the Azraels anymore, no matter how hard I convinced myself I was, I just wasn't. So, I made myself believe that it was Khai's presence. He'd been efficient in dimming my grief and he really thought I had not noticed how drastically my feelings had changed.He must've done it to my fear as well because I didn't have another nightmare since I saw Intiyago two weeks ago. I couldn't bring myself to cower in terror if I tried.I wondered what else Khai was doing to my mind, perhaps things I wasn't conscious of. Had he actually done what I suspected he did? Or was this the course of emotions? And why could he change the chemistry of my brain but not his own? His powers must've been like my blood.The way I had been at peace with myself was scary. It felt okay to be sitting back and worrying not about my life or anybody’s. It felt okay not to grieve and it felt okay to be unreasonably fond of someone. It felt okay to be here, sitting with Yolanda, Hannah and Linda, baskin
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Chapter Fifty-Five

I pouted sadly at Yolanda, she was the first one I gave a hug and she whispered in my ear."I bet when we come back someone will be glowing."Then we both laughed."I'll be like the Sun," I joked.Although, I couldn't understand why she was obsessed with sex. Or even weirder, Khai and I having sex. She reeled back to give me a high five. Hannah followed, then Falcon then the rest. Yolanda gave me another, tighter hug and kissed my cheek."I'll miss you," she said."Me too."It would be incredibly quiet without her.When we were done, they loaded their packed bags from the house into the minibus, which I noticed was being driven by Walter. I waved at him and he waved back reverently.Khai and I stood on the porch, his arms around my shoulder, holding me tightly like I was about to escape. Edna sat in the front seat beside Walter and smiled at me."Don't do something I told you not to," Edna shouted.I laughed and Khai said we wouldn't. Hannah was the last one, carrying the rest of the
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Chapter Fifty-Six

Loneliness dawned on me as the day went by. I spent the afternoon outside, basking in the sun but I felt no joy - only a gaping hole in my chest. I started to imagine this was how Linda felt but I had to admit this was a small pain compared to what she felt. Her pain was heavy like a wet blanket, just as cold and annoying.It was only when I had fallen asleep on the couch watching Edna's sitcoms I heard him come in through the backdoor, lock it, and head upstairs. When I found him in the bedroom he was asleep with grass in his hair, naked on the bed. I covered him up and lay beside him. I rested my head on his chest and fell asleep to his heartbeat.In the middle of the night, he stirred and held my hand."I'm sorry," I heard him say but I was too tired to reply.Deep in sleep.Khai shook me awake so rapidly that I thought my head would pop off. I groaned and he lifted me off the bed to stand. It was suddenly morning through my groggy eyes. He told me to hurry up before the food got c
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Chapter Fifty-Seven - Khai

I could see Traga's face vaguely on her shoulder. She looked so small and delicate in that moment and all I had in my chest was regret. I wish I didn't go off into the woods and then I didn't return in a good mood.No one could bear this.Her eyes blinked slowly. This wasn't like the other nightmares, was it? I assumed it was intense due to what we saw in her village, Intiyago just stood there and we did nothing. I wasn't afraid but I knew that if I attacked him Kyle and Eddie would've too and they would either be dead or injured. Linda would never forgive me.Her hand never let go of mine as we sat in the darkness of my room. Moonlight pooled from the open window we both forgot to close, a gentle breeze swirled around the room and cold air filled my lungs, I was at ease. The whole day was such a nightmare. My mood went so low I couldn't bear being alive. I almost drowned myself in Freudian.All I felt was sorry but no apology could make up for the time we were supposed to spend toget
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Chapter Fifty-Eight - Khai

Come." I told her and made my way to the study, past the living room, and past Hannah's room.Roman's heat followed behind me. I took out a key from my pocket. Quickly, I unlocked the door and entered.The air was still in my father's study, exactly the way he left it when he died. Mom didn't allow any of us to move or take anything out but I often came here to focus on business."Why are we here?"The lights went on. I was at my table digging through my drawers."What are you looking for?" she kept asking.I looked up and half smiled when I found the brown journal. The leather was rich under my fingers as I paged through the coarse paper. Roman stood right beside me, curious."Khai..." Roman called. "What is this?"I kept quiet, trying to find the page and the words. "Khai!" she barked and I quickly found the courage to show her.There was a page containing her dark eyelids. A sketch of locks braided around her like a frame. I handed the journal to her.She paged and a rough sketch
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Chapter Fifty-Nine

Steam rose to my face as I struggled to move the sticky egg from the hot pan. Khai giggled hysterically beside me as I finally sliced between the egg with the metal spatula."Turn it over already,” he said as I held it up.I slapped it back on the pan and it sizzled.It was right after dawn and we both had no sleep or fatigue. I watched it sizzle as Khai went to the kitchen stool."Coffee?" he asked.I shook my head remembering the bitter taste of the concoction. That thing was unpleasant but Khai drank gallons of it. He shrugged and went to the coffee maker. I turned the stove off as the egg turned brown. I slid it off the pan and onto a plate.He started making the coffee when his phone vibrated in his pocket. He answered and left the kitchen. I lit the stove and cracked another egg.I was terrible at this, it crumbled in my hand with some of the shell. I scrambled it all together in hot oil and flipped it over. A little eggshells never hurt anybody.We only had this day alone toget
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Chapter Sixty

We sat on the couch cuddling."You better go wipe that counter," I said quietly."Why?" he asked tirelessly."You made it wet.""I made it wet?" he smirked."You made it wet but, it’s okay, I'll go lick it clean."Khai then burst into laughter and I punched his shoulder as hard as I could. Then his eyes went salacious and he licked his fingers.Heat rushed to my face. I felt embarrassed. We had not gone too far but the want I felt for him at that moment was abysmal, we could've gone all the way. It was like I had not seen him in so long. I wanted to connect with him, deeper than ever before and I craved him. I wanted him inside me. We made out and his fingers slid between my panties and he touched me. That's all that happened. Though I wish we had done so much more.I had never experienced such bliss and ecstasy. All of that from fingers alone? My mind wandered on about how the real deal would feel.“It felt good,” I said as I lay on his chest.The sun was rising behind the trees as w
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