Semua Bab COLLECTION OF LUST AND LOVE: Bab 221 - Bab 230

His words mocked her. Taunted her. They filled her with horror at what she must now do. Let’s go for it. That was the kind of thing a football coach said during the half-time pep talk—not a man who was telling you that you meant something really special to him. And Pamela realised what a mess she had made of everything. Despite her determination not to follow in her mother’s footsteps, she had ended up doing exactly that. She had hitched her star to a man who was unavailable. In Theodore’s case it wasn’t because he was married but because he was emotionally unavailable. And in a roundabout way he’d just told her that he always would be.I haven’t changed my mind about children.So now what did she do?Feeling sick with nerves, she sat up, her unruly curls falling over her shoulders and providing some welcome cover for her aching breasts.‘Before you say any more, there’s something I have to tell you, Theodore.’ She sucked in a shuddering breath, more nervous than she’d ever been as he

‘Actually, I’ve decided that I want to carry on working,’ she said. ‘And besides, what on earth would I do all day—sit around knitting bootees? Plenty of women work right up until the final weeks. I’ll … I’ll look for another job, obviously.’But she was filled with dread at the thought of going from agency to agency and having to hide her pregnancy. Who would want to take on a woman in her condition and offer her any kind of security for the future?‘You don’t need to look for another job,’ he said harshly. ‘You could come back to work for me in an instant. Or I could arrange to have you work for one of the partners, if you don’t think you could tolerate being in the same office as me.’Pamela swallowed. She thought of starting work for someone new, with her pregnancy growing all the time. She wasn’t aware of how much other people at the Kaid corporation knew about their affair. After all, it wasn’t the most likely of partnerships, and Theodore hadn’t exactly been squiring her around

What she wanted was impossible—to be carrying the child of someone who loved her instead of resenting her for having fallen pregnant. Someone who would hold her in the small hours of the morning when the world seemed a very big and frightening place. She longed for a partner who would share in her dreams and fears, who would stand by her side and make her feel safe and cherished. But those kinds of thoughts were dangerous. Even shameful. Because wasn’t the truth that she still wanted Theodore to be that man—even though it was never going to happen?To Pamela’s terror, she’d discovered that you didn’t just fall out of love with a man because he’d spoken to you harshly or judged you in the worst possible way. Love didn’t obey logic or reason. It persisted, stubbornly clinging to the heart even when every rational part of her told her to let go. She couldn’t help but remember the moments when Theodore had been kind and gentle, the times he had made her laugh and feel special. Those memor

He gave a wry smile. ‘There are more ways to hurt someone than with your fists. I was certainly excluded on a social level—never invited to the homes of my classmates. My saving grace was that I made every sports team going and I had first pick of all the girls.’ He shrugged as he realised that was about the time when he had begun to use the veneer of arrogance to protect him. ‘Though of course that only increased the feelings of resentment against me.’‘I can imagine.’ She sighed as she looked at him, longing to take him in her arms but too scared to dare try. Still afraid that nothing had really changed and that he would hurt her again as he had hurt her before. And besides, if he really meant it then didn’t he have to come to her?He saw the fear and the pain which clouded her face, and it mirrored the aching deep inside him. A terrible sense of frustration washed over him as he looked into her tawny eyes.‘Oh, Pamela—can’t you see that I’m a novice at all th

The sorrow was almost unmanageable, but Abegail was doing what she could to smile through the suffering and give him that dreamy look of trust, love, and encouragement that she had practiced so many times. This was what she wanted—what she had hoped and schemed for. A bit of pain and a few months until she could finally reveal the scene with the Reverend Rolando, her father—a scene she had rehearsed in her mind endlessly—and then this man would take her away from here forever. She had envisioned this moment in vivid detail, imagining the joy and relief that would flood her heart as she left behind the endless monotony of this place.Abegail dreamed of escaping the dreary, treeless expanse of Nolana, Kansas, a small town smack dab between nowhere and nothing. The landscape, flat and uninspiring, seemed to stretch on forever, a constant reminder of the limitations and stifling predictability of her current life. Her days were filled with the mundane routines of small-town existence, eac