Chapter 45

What she wanted was impossible—to be carrying the child of someone who loved her instead of resenting her for having fallen pregnant. Someone who would hold her in the small hours of the morning when the world seemed a very big and frightening place. She longed for a partner who would share in her dreams and fears, who would stand by her side and make her feel safe and cherished. But those kinds of thoughts were dangerous. Even shameful. Because wasn’t the truth that she still wanted Theodore to be that man—even though it was never going to happen?

To Pamela’s terror, she’d discovered that you didn’t just fall out of love with a man because he’d spoken to you harshly or judged you in the worst possible way. Love didn’t obey logic or reason. It persisted, stubbornly clinging to the heart even when every rational part of her told her to let go. She couldn’t help but remember the moments when Theodore had been kind and gentle, the times he had made her laugh and feel special. Those memor