All Chapters of Love Behind the Lens: Chapter 71 - Chapter 80

AdiraI woke on Friday more anxious than I had in a long time. I felt like something was wrong and I couldn't shake that feeling all through the first shoot. It made it harder for me to stay focused and even Charlie could feel it as he kept whining and leaning into me during the shoot.When we returned to the hotel I tried some meditation to try and center myself. When that didn't help I went to the gym and ran myself through a workout hoping to sweat it off. Finally after being to anxious to eat I ended up having to take my medicine - something I hadn't needed in months. I hated when it snuck up on me like this and I couldn't pin point it.I distracted myself while I waited for it to kick in my emailing my brother about my next show idea. I tried to make sure I sent him an email at least once a week while he was overseas and I sent myself a reminder to send him a care package when I got back home.I laid on the bed with Charlie curled up right against my side as I felt my body

Adira I woke the next day still feeling anxious. I looked over at my phone where it sat turned off and decided that whatever it held it would be a problem for after the first shoot. Charlie and I sluggishly made it through our morning routine before heading out. Today was the last shoot for the crew so I needed to make sure I had everything I needed. The snapping of the camera drew me in, helping me find my calm in a sea of unease. At least this morning I had been able to push aside everything else and stay focused on my work. I could feel my stomach rumble as the excessive stomach acid from not eating yesterday reminded me not to make the same mistake today. I stopped for lunch before headed back to the hotel. I needed to turn my phone on and make sure I didn't have any messages from Gio or Adrian. I smacked my forehead as I thought about Sebastian. I had gotten so wrapped up in everything that happened with Valentine that I completely forgot about him. I knew he wouldn

AdiraI woke before my alarm went off , the smell of all the flowers almost choking me. But in my half awakened state I actually had a really good idea. One that if I was quick I could pull off and it would definitely be a money shot.I found one of the night workers who was able to help me take them all down to the beach and arrange them the way I wanted. I then trudged back and got myself ready and returned to the beach to set up my gear. It was right before sunrise, in twilight so I had about an hour to get some good shots. I had them set on 45 second timers, 15 seconds apart and began moving through the different poses. I thought about Valentine and about the message I wanted to send to him through my work. I was starving by the time I finished, the sun shining fully down on me. I told the hotel to take the flowers and donate them to the nearest hospital to which they did gladly. I had breakfast delivered while I changed into my travel gear and packed away my cameras. I

AdiraIt was hard sitting there at dinner and not staring at Valentine. He looked worse than I expected him to with messy hair, wrinkled clothes and dark circles under his eyes. I know I probably didn't look much better but I actually felt bad for him. I was glad that Gio was there guiding the conversation. I could easily see how him and his cousin got into lots of trouble together when they were younger. He had that mischievious glint in his eye even now. Gio walked me out to my truck so we could have a moment to speak."I'm glad you made it to dinner cara. Does it help you feel better about tomorrow?" Gio asked as I held the door open for Charlie to jump in. I nodded and replied "Yes. I took the time and listened to his voicemails and read all his messages. I probably could have been more understanding and I hate to see him suffering the way he is. But at the same time I knew I needed to stand up for myself. You aren't mad are you?"He pulled me in for a hug and we stoo

AdiraI hadn't realized how much we had both needed that lunch. I felt things were a little more out there on the table afterwards and even though it made my feelings a little more scrambled I felt better knowing how he felt about me. I still had a few hours before dinner with Sebastian so I took the time to edit the photos like Adrian and I had talked about and spent a little time double checking the others before submitting them. Then I brushed up the others and sent them to Adrian so he could see what magic he could work.I made sure Charlie went out and had dinner before I got ready for dinner with Sebastian. I pulled my hair up in a high pony tail, the curls making it look a little fancier. I had washed the makeup off my face as soon as I'd gotten home so I just redid a little eye liner and some tinted lip balm before slipping into some soft gold sparkly dress pants with a solid black halter top. A pair of large gold hoops, some gold bangles and my strappy black heels comp