All Chapters of Dude I Kissed Your Mom!: Chapter 1 - Chapter 10

"Hey Abigael, did you gain weight?'Cause those jeans make your ass look fatter than Nicki Minaj's," That statement ushered in a wave of laughter that rippled through the sea of students in my Calculus class.The aforementioned girl pulls the hem of her knitted grey sweater down her torso in an attempt hide her overly exaggeratingly huge butt to no avail,which only seemed to fuel the laughter of the ruthless crowd. With flared cheeks and a sharp glare, Abigael sags down to her seat before burying her face inside a Math book. "Gosh, you are such an asshole,"Not everyone was flattered with my idea of a joke as Hazel's glare pierced me like cupid's arrow as she reprimanded me for that insensitive comment aimed at Abigael's behind. "What, her butt is gigantic!" Another storm of laughter tore through the class like a tornado which abruptly subsided once the classroom doors burst open. The smirk that had decorated my face slowly dissipated as my gaze followed the graceful aura of Mrs.Daw

"You're thrity minutes late,"Was the scalding statement that greeted once my school-exhausted body strolled inside the classroom for my after school detention. "My apologies,"I gave her my best fake regal head bow , my voice intoned with heavy sarcasm and indifference. "I might decide to keep you here till seven p.m,"Her arms crossed over her chest as she regarded me with displeasure. Seeing her winter skied eyes morph into the darkest of the darkest shades of blue , a glaring evidence of her unspoken wrath , I knew I'd gotten under her skin, just as I had prophesized. "If it makes you happy, I will stay until eight or even eleven p.m , I mean, it's not like I have anything better to do at home anyway," A satisfied sigh pushed past my lips once I saw Amanda clench her fists into tight balls.Her anger was my reward. A bulging vein cut through her forehead, depicting the volatile anger bubbling under her skin my bothersome personality wrecking havoc inside her inner peace. I tri

A heated argument tore between last night's dinner meal and thi morning's 'scrumptuous' pancake from inside my stomach as it mourned loudly, both meals fighting for their place in there yet failing. I was certain that I'd be visiting the nurse's office today , maybe then I'd get a pass from attending Mr.Latowskie's biology lecture on Genetics. "I'm very disappointed in you after receiving that phonecall from Amanda yesterday concerning your behavior , Young man," I had momentarily forgotten the supposed 'talk' I was having with my dad as he so generously drove me to school.I had heard that very same talk with him on countless issues he had with me because of our disagreeing opinions. We never saw eye to eye on anything .It was our dynamic. His thoughts differred from mine and that always seeemed to bring us in a disagreeable mood. This morning, he lectured me on how I was to treat Amanda ,how I should behave around her, and all those words uttered by him were drowned out the wind th

"I'm sorry , Amanda, but I never pay attention to anything you teach in this class,"I crassly put in watching as the rest of the class jeer bemusedly at my audacity." My apologies for being too blunt in my confession.""Well, Maxwell-""It's Max , Your Highness. Not Maxwell," I cut in , letting her mouth hang mid sentence.That brought a devious smirk on her plump lips ,eyebrows twitching in amusement. "No, I prefer Maxwell. Besides, that is your name , isn't it?"This was her vengeance towards me for calling her by her first name.Given the history of my disdain to the utterance of my full first name , I opted the shortened version of it. Max as opposed to Maxwell. Everyone who's ever rubbed shoulders with me or elbows or whatever knows how much I fumed at the mere mention of my full name. She was one of the few individuals who was informed on my strong dislike on the mention of my full name yet here she was violating that boundary. The callously crooked smirk that had been dancing

"Are you sure you want to shove a dead rat inside Charli's locker? I mean, you know how extreme she can get, what if she decides to shove a live snake in your backpack? "In a panicked expression, voice laced with jittery concern , Nico kept asking , a cute Stuart little like mouse cradled inside his cupped hands ,tiny squeaks escaping its tiny mouse mouth. The once flooded hallways had been emptied, an eerie atmosphere settling around us as our footsteps bounced against the metal rowed walls in a frightful echo. Missing seventh period to execute my petty and juvenile revenge on that goth freak seemed far more reasonable and significant than squeezing my butt on a wooden chair, listening to Ms.Beedy explaining William Snorespear's boring sonnets. Something about the seventeen hundreds' literature just doesn't seat right with me. Saying Doth instead of do and mine eyes instead of my eyes just seemed ridiculous to me. Like why try to act like you're better than us? Just 'cause I opt